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    (Original post by Smash Bandicoot)
    I'm one of the few who gave OP sympathy for his feelings of insecurity, the terms 'suck it up' and 'you're selfish' were used. Gender makes a difference, because it helps him realise that there is more to this than what is being said-because there is.

    "Gender makes a difference" because you've selfishly made this a gender thing - something I never asked for, and something no one but you has brought up.

    If you're worried about your male issues, go to create another thread.
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    (Original post by Dodgypirate)
    Thanks to Bandicoot this is turning into a "herr derr gender equality thing"
    Unfortunately this is true...although his experiences obviously have a meaning and depicts something he feels strong about, for which I respect

    I hope that my original comments were some sort of help (Dodgypirate)...
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    (Original post by Dodgypirate)
    "Gender makes a difference" because you've selfishly made this a gender thing - something I never asked for, and something no one but you has brought up.

    If you're worried about your male issues, go to create another thread.
    You are correct gender makes no difference at all...
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    (Original post by JBurt)
    Unfortunately this is true...although his experiences obviously have a meaning and depicts something he feels strong about, for which I respect

    I hope that my original comments were some sort of help (Dodgypirate)...
    Indeed they were!

    He's obviously had a hard time in the dating world
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    http://www.infonews.bg/content/uploa...i-Veneno-5.jpg

    http://www.gaadi.com/blog/wp-content...00-face_hd.jpg

    http://pngimg.com/upload/beer_PNG2330.png

    Who needs a girlfriend anyway!
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    (Original post by Dodgypirate)
    Indeed they were!

    He's obviously had a hard time in the dating world
    Whatever happens just remember both of you are young, you will make mistakes but ultimately it will make both of you lead a better life...

    Well some of us are not as lucky with relationships as others...it is all part of life :rolleyes:
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    [QUOTE=Laomedeia;53136775





    Who needs a girlfriend anyway![/QUOTE]


    Difference is, GF are free
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    Hahaha, fantastic!
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    (Original post by Dodgypirate)
    Difference is, GF are free
    Are they really though??? Think about it, jewellery, clothes, nights out, buying a new sofa...
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    (Original post by JBurt)
    Are they really though??? Think about it, jewellery, clothes, nights out, buying a new sofa...

    I don't think you quite get what I mean.
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    (Original post by Dodgypirate)
    Indeed they were!

    He's obviously had a hard time in the dating world
    I think it's from his family experience that you've been quite insensitive to in my opinion, which is somewhat ironic considering how much help you've had for your oversensitivity with your girlfriend; making me suppose if the real issue here is self-absorption on your behalf. It's also concerning to see you mock rather than empathise with someone who has possibly had a hard time in the dating world, considering how you have admitted that your current psychological weaknesses are a product of your own hard times in the dating world.

    In your defence, his posts have been assumption-ridden, dramatic, somewhat sexist, and spoken as fact not theory, but seemingly based on experience and with good intentions.
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    (Original post by Dodgypirate)
    I don't think you quite get what I mean.
    Oh, I do, but I'm stating what you have to do/buy, to get the 'free' stuff...
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    (Original post by macromicro)
    I think it's from his family experience that you've been quite insensitive to in my opinion, which is somewhat ironic considering how much help you've had for your oversensitivity with your girlfriend; making me suppose if the real issue here is self-absorption on your behalf. It's also concerning to see you mock rather than empathise with someone who has possibly had a hard time in the dating world, considering how you have admitted that your current psychological weaknesses are a product of your own hard times in the dating world.

    In your defence, his posts have been assumption-ridden, dramatic, somewhat sexist, and spoken as fact not theory, but seemingly based on experience and with good intentions.
    Exactly why I call his story bogus and am avoiding him.
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    (Original post by macromicro)
    I think it's from his family experience that you've been quite insensitive to in my opinion, which is somewhat ironic considering how much help you've had for your oversensitivity with your girlfriend; making me suppose if the real issue here is self-absorption on your behalf. It's also concerning to see you mock rather than empathise with someone who has possibly had a hard time in the dating world, considering how you have admitted that your current psychological weaknesses are a product of your own hard times in the dating world.

    In your defence, his posts have been assumption-ridden, dramatic, somewhat sexist, and spoken as fact not theory, but seemingly based on experience and with good intentions.
    I think he went on the offence once I showed Redpill hostilities.

    My posts weren't the best, however I do feel some of the women on here have been slightly harsh on him for his insecurities too. example

    'lol anyone else detect bitterness in 'I hope she passes all her coursework'?

    I am interested to know how my posts were sexist, considering OP is rightfully concerned by the correlation between needing space for career/degree and breakup, which is very common.
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    (Original post by Smash Bandicoot)
    I think he went on the offence once I showed Redpill hostilities.

    My posts weren't the best, however I do feel the women on here have been slightly harsh on him for his insecurities too. example

    'lol anyone else detect bitterness in 'I hope she passes all her coursework'?
    Yet she retracted the comment soon after (??)
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    (Original post by macromicro)
    I think it's from his family experience that you've been quite insensitive to in my opinion, which is somewhat ironic considering how much help you've had for your oversensitivity with your girlfriend; making me suppose if the real issue here is self-absorption on your behalf. It's also concerning to see you mock rather than empathise with someone who has possibly had a hard time in the dating world, considering how you have admitted that your current psychological weaknesses are a product of your own hard times in the dating world.

    In your defence, his posts have been assumption-ridden, dramatic, somewhat sexist, and spoken as fact not theory, but seemingly based on experience and with good intentions.
    I mostly agree, this whole thread has turned personal, and as you stated all parties are guilty. As previously said in previous posts (by myself), I respect and acknowledge both sides
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    (Original post by Dodgypirate)
    Or is it some excuse?


    My GF and I have been together for 10 months now. Everything has been great. Yes we've had ups and downs like every other couple, but we always seem to settle it quickly.

    Anyway, she's on her last year of 3 year maths degree, and according to her and the work I've seen when I've been around hers, it's really stressful.

    She has 2 major maths coursework due in soon, one which she has just finished, and then she has a long maths exercise to do too.

    She told me things would get really stressful and that we wouldn't be able to see each other as much. That we shouldn't 'promise' each other times we could meet (?)

    Of course we've spoken on the phone a couple of times and by text, so she hasn't gone completely AWOL, but even her closest friends tell me this is how she acts when she's busy/stressed.

    Should I just take her word for it?
    I'm assuming by your whining that either you're not a University student, or if you are that you're not doing a particularly academic subject.

    Speak to any final year student doing a difficult degree subject and when the deadlines start to pile up it's not uncommon for them to be doing 14 hours work or more per day, and speaking from personal experience when you're in one of those periods all you want to do when you do finish working for the day is go home, have some food, and collapse.

    At the end of the day her degree has to come before you, and if you can't see that then quite frankly you're incredibly selfish and she deserves better than you.
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    (Original post by AJExeter)
    I'm assuming by your whining that either you're not a University student, or if you are that you're not doing a particularly academic subject.

    Speak to any final year student doing a difficult degree subject and when the deadlines start to pile up it's not uncommon for them to be doing 14 hours work or more per day, and speaking from personal experience when you're in one of those periods all you want to do when you do finish working for the day is go home, have some food, and collapse.

    At the end of the day her degree has to come before you, and if you can't see that then quite frankly you're incredibly selfish and she deserves better than you.
    I have said plenty of times that I NOW realise how, indeed, selfish I was being.

    I'm a first year Criminology student, so of course, I have no idea how it feels to be in third year finals ... I can only guess.

    Now that I know, I'm just going to give her space and respect the fact that her degree is more important. Jesus.
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    (Original post by Dodgypirate)
    Yet she retracted the comment soon after (??)
    Ignore the idiot.

    And I can't believe I'm saying this, but in regards to the OP: Trust her. Show some faith if not trust. I know how incredibly difficult it can be being an impossible and demanding person myself, especially when you feel its so easy to make just a LITTLE time, and its no effort at all, as well as sharing some of your insecurities and defaulting to the 'its not worth it then, lets break up' position, but in this case you'll benefit from trusting her
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    (Original post by Dodgypirate)
    Or is it some excuse?


    My GF and I have been together for 10 months now. Everything has been great. Yes we've had ups and downs like every other couple, but we always seem to settle it quickly.

    Anyway, she's on her last year of 3 year maths degree, and according to her and the work I've seen when I've been around hers, it's really stressful.

    She has 2 major maths coursework due in soon, one which she has just finished, and then she has a long maths exercise to do too.

    She told me things would get really stressful and that we wouldn't be able to see each other as much. That we shouldn't 'promise' each other times we could meet (?)

    Of course we've spoken on the phone a couple of times and by text, so she hasn't gone completely AWOL, but even her closest friends tell me this is how she acts when she's busy/stressed.

    Should I just take her word for it?
    Not to sound like a ****, but I study half maths, half computer science (theoretical, which is basically akin to maths modules at this point). I have, generally, apart from a couple of weeks with crazy coursework, no more than 40 - 50 hours of work in a week, including all contact time at uni and extra study time.

    Now, I know everyone has different activities and modules, but what I know from uni in general is that you shouldn't materially be getting north of those kinds of hours consistently. So, if there's not even time for once a week catch up, maybe you should ask what's up? Also, working hard with respect to time and hard with respect to efficiency are two different things. Sometimes it's better to work with friends, read a book, see a tutor than stare at a problem sheet for 3 hours and get little done. (Not saying that this is the case, just an example)

    Just my $0.02. Very generalised. Hopefully a couple of things will help.

    Have a good one! Best of luck.
 
 
 
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