How Can I Detach My Emotions From Sex ? Watch

The Empire Odyssey
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#81
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#81
(Original post by Novascope)
Your definition makes no sense. So for example, a Muslim woman may think I have no self respect because I don't cover up. So does that mean I literally have no self respect because I don't cover up? No. Self respect is what you make for yourself. Not for others.
That's because it's religion. That's a very different story.

You don't need to be in a religion to know what self-respect is. Although, it is for that person to define. However, all maxims have some kind of truth in it. And selling your body in exchange for money is not a respectable act. Anyone who justifies that is quite silly really. I'm not intolerant, I'm just not stupid to think that selling yourself for money is called "self-respect" beccause it really isn't - no matter how deep in debt you are. Personally I'm a guy and my mum has never said "don't ever sell yourself for money" - it's something society automatically defines in our world - which for what it's worth is a good thing.

Some people don't have any money - you see third world countries and they wouldn't have sex for money, some would but most wouldn't because even they know what it means to have self-respect. It's in human DNA to understand our own worth. And if you can't recognise your own self-worth, then you never had any integrity to begin with.

In my most, humble opinion - of course.
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The Empire Odyssey
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#82
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#82
(Original post by Novascope)
Lol no. I'm at university hun, no time for that.

I just find it ridiculous how you guys are bashing her for wanting to do something for herself. Let her do whatever she wants, if she still thinks she's respecting herself at the end of the day then so be it. It's got nothing to do with you and has no effect on you whatsoever.

See, clearly you know nothing about it. You're just describing prostitution. That's completely different to being an escort.

And why I know so much is because of my uni course, I'm studying journalism and therefore have had to watch many different documentaries and read many articles of various things.
But she asked us for her opinion - so yes, it has everything to do with us. Otherwise, if she wanted an alternative opinion, she would have asked her friends/family.

And since they are anonymous anyway, clearly there's some sort of shame already looming over her decision to escort. Not escorting is is when someone pays another for their company - not sex. But the OP said sex, therefore that becomes prostitution and not escorting. Since being a prozzie is someone who sells their body for sex, in exchange for money.

Women should not support other women for degrading and quite frankly sh***ing on their own sexuality. That is not womanhood or feminism. It's just borderline stupid. How can you defend prostitution like it's an everyday thing?
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The Empire Odyssey
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#83
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#83
(Original post by GeorgeTownsend)
What are you talking about? People do not randomly get job offers on their email...
Gumtree, Craiglists and something called CV... You do when you sign up to proper websites and stuff. I get job offers all the time. Although they are all graduate jobs and I'm still in uni!
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#84
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#84
(Original post by The Empire Odyssey)
But she asked us for her opinion - so yes, it has everything to do with us. Otherwise, if she wanted an alternative opinion, she would have asked her friends/family.

And since they are anonymous anyway, clearly there's some sort of shame already looming over her decision to escort. Not escorting is is when someone pays another for their company - not sex. But the OP said sex, therefore that becomes prostitution and not escorting. Since being a prozzie is someone who sells their body for sex, in exchange for money.

Women should not support other women for degrading and quite frankly sh***ing on their own sexuality. That is not womanhood or feminism. It's just borderline stupid. How can you defend prostitution like it's an everyday thing?
Empire, like it or not, prostitution IS an everyday things and as is quoted time and time again, "it's the oldest profession".
It's not stupid either, it can still be very feminine, I think you need to read up on a few more facts before commenting in the way you have!
Escorts also "sell their bodies for sex" just they class money changing hands as for "their time" it's just a legal loophole...!
The person is probably anonymous not because of shame but because of the taunting she would get at college that would probably affect her studies. So staying anonymous is I think a good idea, why should she be affected by some morons at college when all she is doing is still let's face it a form of work. It's supply and demand.. !!
Put it in its raw form and you will see that you are all debating something that's goes off world wide day in day out..
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The Empire Odyssey
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#85
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I know it is. I dont have a problem with prostitution as such, like its non of my business. I dont agree with the "profession" simply because its illegal. Im not saying if it was made legal, id support it i wouldnt. But my problem when people like you claim it to be a good thing. If being a prostitute is a good thing, then what is teaching if being in the prostitute business good? Youre supporting something thst diminishes respectability. You think men who pay women to use their bodies is respecting them? No, they do it cause its easier, convenient and just easy! Men have no shame in it because they arent the ones selling themselves. And i bet you, if you asked the men would they do it, they would say no.

You shouldnt sell your body for sex, you shouldnt do drugs, you should drive ehilst on thr phone. Yet people do. Its sbout the principles and morals, which clearly some people dont have, otherwise they would respect the law.

From the get go, prostitution was no respected from 12th c. Because its just not respectable. I wouldn't respect people who do drugs and i will certainly not respect people who sell their bodies for sex. That's my opinion on it. You dont like that? Well dont respond and move on.

I dont give a crap if you think my opinions are invalid but have a bit of respect that im allowed an opinion just as you are.
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#86
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#86
(Original post by The Empire Odyssey)
Gumtree, Craiglists and something called CV... You do when you sign up to proper websites and stuff. I get job offers all the time. Although they are all graduate jobs and I'm still in uni!
I very much doubt you "get jobs offered all the time" as if you did then we should have no one out of work with so many jobs around!! Lmao ...
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#87
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#87
(Original post by The Empire Odyssey)
I know it is. I dont have a problem with prostitution as such, like its non of my business. I dont agree with the "profession" simply because its illegal. Im not saying if it was made legal, id support it i wouldnt. But my problem when people like you claim it to be a good thing. If being a prostitute is a good thing, then what is teaching if being in the prostitute business good? Youre supporting something thst diminishes respectability. You think men who pay women to use their bodies is respecting them? No, they do it cause its easier, convenient and just easy! Men have no shame in it because they arent the ones selling themselves. And i bet you, if you asked the men would they do it, they would say no.

You shouldnt sell your body for sex, you shouldnt do drugs, you should drive ehilst on thr phone. Yet people do. Its sbout the principles and morals, which clearly some people dont have, otherwise they would respect the law.

From the get go, prostitution was no respected from 12th c. Because its just not respectable. I wouldn't respect people who do drugs and i will certainly not respect people who sell their bodies for sex. That's my opinion on it. You dont like that? Well dont respond and move on.

I dont give a crap if you think my opinions are invalid but have a bit of respect that im allowed an opinion just as you are.
I do respect your opinion, and I never said prostitution is a good thing. it's something that you can't get away from in the world. Whether she does or doesn't sell her body to men/women. That is not what he original question was. She mearly asked how to separate feelings...
Well I think that is an impossible question for anyone to answer.. It's all about your own mind set and what you feel is and isn't acceptable to yourself.
The only person that can actually answer her question is herself
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Anonymous #3
#88
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#88
If you want to do it. Go for it. I personally can't detatch myself from sex so wouldn't be able to. But it's the oldest trade in the world and if guys are stupid enough to pay for sex, it benefits you and it doesn't harm you psychologically or phsyically. Go for it.

Stay safe. Confide in someone (perhaps look online for other escorts and make a real life friend in one-go for coffee or something) so you can let each other know where you are and at what times and how long the session is booked for so if she doesn't hear anything she can call for help.

Makesure you use protection and get a HepB vaccine anyway just incase from your local GU clinic. Never take a client who can't give you a references.
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Anonymous #3
#89
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#89
As for judgement. It's no ones business so OP do it if you genuinely want to. Put the safe guards in that I mentioned. And remember if you stop at any point you don't EVER have to reveal you past to anyone inc future partners. Everyone has a past and that's where it stays.

Stay safe.
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icdjabtjk
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#90
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#90
(Original post by bittr n swt)
so how on earth did you come across this site then? How did you get to this thread straight away? You do have an account since you only made this account yesterday...

it's divided on here whether escorting is a shameful thing to do
Shame is just a concept, it's not an innate thing. If we all lived in a society where escorts were worshipped and given celebrity status, it was considered the most amazing thing to do, and wearing the colour green was really stigmatised and considered shameful, then people would adhere to that. Personally I would never want to sleep with a prostitute, or porn star, or anything like that, I idealise a cute, innocent, disney type of romance, of two people who love each other being best friends, developing a loving romance over a long period of time, and sharing all their experiences together, losing their virginity to each other. To me that seems really nice rather than one night stands in clubs and stuff, or kids today webcamming each other swapping nudes and stuff. But that's my own opinion and what I like myself. I would be friends with a porn star and I wouldnt shame him or her, but I probably wouldnt want to talk about sex with them either and I'd never want a relationship with them. But I know some people would. Each to their own really.
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icdjabtjk
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#91
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#91
(Original post by Anonymous)
As for judgement. It's no ones business so OP do it if you genuinely want to. Put the safe guards in that I mentioned. And remember if you stop at any point you don't EVER have to reveal you past to anyone inc future partners. Everyone has a past and that's where it stays.

Stay safe.
Thats not true the past doesnt always stay in the past, it often comes up, and it also shapes who we are. Also I hope you are not condoning lying to a partner because I think that's really immoral to trick someone into a relationship and into sex by lying about your past, when you know that if they knew they wouldnt want the relationship. It's similar to rape in my opinion. Because the person only gave consent under false pretences and lies.
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Anonymous #1
#92
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#92
I'm confused as to why bitternsweet is posting if he is clearly not hoping to offer any advice relevant to my op.

*reported* i want him banned from this thread.
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Anonymous #3
#93
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#93
(Original post by wsxcde)
Thats not true the past doesnt always stay in the past, it often comes up, and it also shapes who we are. Also I hope you are not condoning lying to a partner because I think that's really immoral to trick someone into a relationship and into sex by lying about your past, when you know that if they knew they wouldnt want the relationship. It's similar to rape in my opinion. Because the person only gave consent under false pretences and lies.
no one has the right to know anything about anyone unless they want to share it or it puts them in phsyical danger
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icdjabtjk
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#94
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#94
(Original post by Anonymous)
no one has the right to know anything about anyone unless they want to share it or it puts them in phsyical danger
You have the right to tell someone you dont want to discuss your past. But you dont have the right to lie to someone about it and trick them into a relationship either. Either say you dont want to discuss it, or be honest about it. But If you lie then you have tricked someone's consent.
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icdjabtjk
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#95
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#95
(Original post by Anonymous)
no one has the right to know anything about anyone unless they want to share it or it puts them in phsyical danger
And I think lying to a partner, tricking, manipulating them into a relationship and into sex, is a horrible thing to do. You should tell your past honestly to your partner, not be a liar and manipulator. Unless you both agree that you are ok to not talk about your pasts ever and fine never knowing all that could have happened. That is an agreement two people could make.
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Anonymous #3
#96
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#96
(Original post by wsxcde)
And I think lying to a partner, tricking, manipulating them into a relationship and into sex, is a horrible thing to do. You should tell your past honestly to your partner, not be a liar and manipulator.
(Original post by wsxcde)
You have the right to tell someone you dont want to discuss your past. But you dont have the right to lie to someone about it and trick them into a relationship either. Either say you dont want to discuss it, or be honest about it. But If you lie then you have tricked someone's consent.
at no point did I ever say lie? I said no one had to right to know anything and you don't have to tell anyone should you not want to.
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icdjabtjk
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#97
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(Original post by Anonymous)
at no point did I ever say lie? I said no one had to right to know anything and you don't have to tell anyone should you not want to.
If you would work as a prostitute then lie and say "im a virgin" to someone.. or ive only dated one guy before, or any lie ... you have cheated on that person with all the other people you didnt tell them about, manipulated them and taken advantage of their trust in your words. If you want to both agree to never discuss your pasts with each other and both are fine with that then that's the couples choice to stay ignorant of each others pasts on purpose which is fine. You didnt say lie but it seemed like you were implying it was fine to lie about your past to a partner as well. Which I just wanted to point out I find really wrong.
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Anonymous #3
#98
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#98
(Original post by wsxcde)
If you would work as a prostitute then lie and say "im a virgin" to someone.. or ive only dated one guy before, or any lie ... you have cheated on that person with all the other people you didnt tell them about, manipulated them and taken advantage of their trust in your words. If you want to both agree to never discuss your pasts with each other and both are fine with that then that's the couples choice to stay ignorant of each others pasts on purpose which is fine. You didnt say lie but it seemed like you were implying it was fine to lie about your past to a partner as well. Which I just wanted to point out I find really wrong.
thats great but people in adult relationships don't ask for a complete sexual history, or list of previous employment. You accept your partner for who they are with you and realise that everyone has a past.
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icdjabtjk
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#99
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(Original post by Anonymous)
thats great but people in adult relationships don't ask for a complete sexual history, or list of previous employment. You accept your partner for who they are with you and realise that everyone has a past.
Its not true that everyone has a past there are plenty of people who dont and plenty who wait until marriage! It's also not true that in every single adult relationship in the world people dont concern themselves with a prospective partners past. Personally I would want a complete sexual history and I'd be prepared to give my complete sexual history also. If someone I would potentially be in a relationship with straight up told me that they dont want to discuss their previous relationships then that's their right to keep it to themselves, and personally I wouldnt want to form a relationship with them but look for someone else in that case. If someone would lie then I would feel really abused by that person because I'd trust that I'm being honest with them and they are with me.
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#100
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#100
I think anonymous #3 is correct.. If you are in a relationship with someone you either accept their past or you should t be with them..
everyone has a past and people change and should never be judged on the past.
but the original question was not about he past or future, it was a question about feelings now...
everyone has digressed from the actual question...
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