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Dumping girlfriend tomorrow, never actually done it this way before, tips? watch

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    (Original post by Charles97)
    I know, its **** .. i never imagined i'd be moving away in a million years.. im not going to blame myself as its nobodies fault here, i wouldnt have got with her if i knew i'd be moving away but i didnt. idk
    If you were going to live somewhere and knew you would leave after 1,2 years, would you not date any girl during that period?
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    (Original post by Charles97)
    Usually when i dumped ex's it was cause of arguments and what not, but this isnt the case like, we never argue, not even once and we've been out for 5 months and we get along fine but i'm going to be away this whole summer and moving away september and i just cant see it working long distance.. shes gorgeous and smart etc but mans gotta go places and i've been thinking about this for a while.. my minds set on it for all you Romeo and Juliets that are gonna tell me to stay with her

    i'm seeing her tomorrow, i already know the basics of what im going to say but i'm her first boyfriend ever and i have a feeling she really, really likes me and will break down etc etc, i want to remind her its not out of bad will whatsoever
    I honestly think the best thing you can do in this situation is just be honest and tell her how you feel, and mention to her that it's her thats caused this problems it's just the long distant thing.
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    (Original post by *Stefan*)
    Firstly, perhaps stop being a douchebag to people who take the time to advise you. There are better ways to tell them that you don't like their advice.

    Secondly, just tell her it's over. Explain your reason and end it. It doesn't have to be an essay.

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    At the start of the thread I specifically stated I had made up my mind. Ofc I'm going to reply negatively when people demand I stay with her and to love her, I didn't use her in any way and to assume that will literally put you in the lowest of my books. There is nothing douchebaggy about ending a relationship, otherwise 99% of males are douches, which is being implied in this thread regardless...
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    (Original post by ThoughtIsFree)
    u obviously don't love her enough. just dump her, cos she needs to be with someone who will treat her better
    Treat her better? How dare you. I've been nothing but lovely to her and have never, ever done any wrong doing to her. I always stuck up for her and made her feel loved, so **** you
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    (Original post by Dinaa)
    Since you two are ok, I do believe it will be a shock for her.

    I think you should just tell her everything in a calm manner. How you are going to be away and you don't think it will work out well. Yes basically the - It's not you, It's me line. That line is usually used wrongly. In this case, clearly it's not your partner, but you. So tell her how you feel and just be honest.

    She might possibly feel inadequate, so it's you job to comfort her- tell her she isn't.

    Honestly it is your choice, but Imagine if it were you? You're happy with your girlfriend and she makes you feel good and she never argues. But then suddenly, one day she says "I want to break up with you." Consider her feelings and go slow.

    Good luck :bigsmile:
    It doesn't even matter at this point, I'd rather not have even made the thread. Just being made out to be a gigantic **** by alot of people because I wanted to break up ... And then people judge me and assume I've abused her or mistreated her or ruined her first relationship, makes me feel sick to my stomach.

    Also, to everyone who's pming me telling me to ignore the delusional morons, thanks, It means alot.
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    (Original post by IWantToBeThere)
    If you were going to live somewhere and knew you would leave after 1,2 years, would you not date any girl during that period?
    Reread the quote and ask again please.
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    bish hav a tissue

    gd bye
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    (Original post by Charles97)
    Usually when i dumped ex's it was cause of arguments and what not, but this isnt the case like, we never argue, not even once and we've been out for 5 months and we get along fine but i'm going to be away this whole summer and moving away september and i just cant see it working long distance.. shes gorgeous and smart etc but mans gotta go places and i've been thinking about this for a while.. my minds set on it for all you Romeo and Juliets that are gonna tell me to stay with her

    i'm seeing her tomorrow, i already know the basics of what im going to say but i'm her first boyfriend ever and i have a feeling she really, really likes me and will break down etc etc, i want to remind her its not out of bad will whatsoever
    Haha, you're a complete idiot! If you've found a girl who is "gorgeous and smart" consider yourself very lucky. I advise you leave her as obviously you aren't good enough human being. Be completely honest and say that the distance is too much and you don't really care how she is going to take it. Suggest that you don't really have feelings for her and have just been going a long with it. Maybe throw in that you are too young and can't really understand the whole situation too. She's going to be incredibly sad at first as you are her first but soon enough men of greater calibre will come and she will forget you. Congrats.
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    @TheLivePear #TheLivePearLifeAdvice follow them on twitter they're good, just ask for a live stream
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    Truly baffled as to why people are telling him he's a bad person and this and that...

    He asked HOW to break up with her. He's already decided he's definitely ending it with her and it is his choice so why are so many people trying to persuade him and make him feel bad when he probably already does? Like say you're in the relationship? Who are you to dictate if he should break up with her?

    Answer the question or MOVE.

    Simple as.
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    And you people are going on like you personally know the girl and how she'll react.

    Not all girls are the same.

    She may be understanding, sure she'll be upset but you guys are going on like she's definitely going to react in an unbearable way and go skin-deep into depression.

    I personally suggest you just simply explain to her the issue, and maybe ask what she would do? Then speak it out together. When you do break up with her stay good friends and do not rush into a new relationship.

    You, my friend, should force entry back into the friendzone.

    Remember to show her your really upset about the situation to show you care. If she does get upset, reassure her that you'll still be there for her whenever help is needed, or just a friend to talk to.

    Good luck.
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    Political Ambassador
    How did it go ( have you dumped her yet ?
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    (Original post by Charles97)
    i told her i loved her? i think you need to stop now little one
    So you once loved her ?? You don't anymore?
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    "it's not me, it's you." :nopity:








    On a serious note, I really don't know how you could break up with her without hurting her. It's nice that you're doing it sincerely instead of hiding behind a text tho. But I guess you guys should just sit down, talk about life and just subtly hint to her that you want to break it off due to you travelling, being far apart, not having the time to put in as much effort as you normally do?

    Feeling sorry for her though, she doesn't know what's coming :erm:.
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    (Original post by Charles97)
    Reread the quote and ask again please.
    It's a hypothetical question. Will you really not go out with anyone if you know your stay in place X is probably limited to 2,3 years?
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    (Original post by Charles97)
    It doesn't even matter at this point, I'd rather not have even made the thread. Just being made out to be a gigantic **** by alot of people because I wanted to break up ... And then people judge me and assume I've abused her or mistreated her or ruined her first relationship, makes me feel sick to my stomach.

    Also, to everyone who's pming me telling me to ignore the delusional morons, thanks, It means alot.
    Excuse me?

    I am not judging you. I was giving you advice since you asked for it. I don't appreciate you quoting me and having a go- especially since my intention was not bad. Just pointed out to you how she may react and how to prevent it. I just wanted to help.

    Like I said it is your choice.
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    i can't believe people are actually making you out to be a bad person for wanting to end something at a good place in your relationship, face to face might i add, rather than over the phone/message/skype when things begin to fall apart.

    you're doing the right thing in my opinion, take it from someone who had to end things with a really great guy because we were both moving countries. the brutal truth is that it's gonna hurt you both and suck for a while, but it's better that it ends with you guys loving each other than hating each other. long distance doesn't work, especially if you've got time-consuming commitments (like studying/pursuing career options) that cause you to inevitably neglect your relationship, and you're doing right by your girlfriend, and yourself, by ending things, in person, before things turn sour.
    i'm sure in the 5 months of you dating she's been aware of your future plans, and while this will be highly upsetting for both of you, i doubt that she will 'kill herself' over it, especially as your reason is rational and valid - and doesn't have anything to do with her character/appearance/ability as a girlfriend. there's a huge chance she'd be completely understanding, and if she does feel emotional its absolutely natural.

    just speak to her from the heart, explain to her the difficulty behind long distance relationships and tell her that you'd rather things end at a time when you both love and care for each other, rather than in a messy break up further down the line. tell her it's just bad timing and that you were honoured to be her first boyfriend. remind her that she is beautiful and smart, and that, while this is going to take you both some time to get over, you hope that she will find happiness in the future.

    its obviously not going to be easy on either of you, but its a decision that some of us have to make sometimes.
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    people on this thread are forgetting the fact that this break up will probably hurt him as well, not just his girlfriend. people are so unbelievably quick to judge, if anything this post proves what a genuinely caring person this guy is for wanting to save his girlfriend, and himself, from even bigger heart ache.
    some of these comments show how prejudice our society can be. just because he is a man he is portrayed as the cold/unfeeling 'a**hole who dumped his girlfriend', and just because she is a woman, his girlfriend is being portrayed as the distressed, emotional victim in all this.
    reminder to the people who post on this thread, a breakup CAN be mutual, it CAN be out of love and care, and it CAN be done without the man having mistreated the woman.
    this guy wouldn't have stayed with this girl for 5 months if he didn't love her (and vice versa), and he most certainly wouldn't be breaking up with her if he didn't care for her. from as far as i can see, he's protecting them both from a possibly more complicated break up in the future, and he's plucking up the courage to deal with it face to face, as soon as possible. and there's nothing wrong with that.
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    I'm not really sure why the thread starter is getting so much abuse? It's his decision?
    She might have seen it coming if she knows that you are moving away.
    There's no easy way to do it unfortunately, good luck!
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    (Original post by IWantToBeThere)
    It's a hypothetical question. Will you really not go out with anyone if you know your stay in place X is probably limited to 2,3 years?
    you asked why I would go out with a girl if I knew I was leaving while quoting me saying it was unforeseen and I would've never done it if it was the case
 
 
 
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