Turn on thread page Beta

Why don't people try to understand asexuality? watch

    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    Suffering from a lack of sexual desire is a well-known symptom of depression. Have you spoken to a medical health professional about it?
    Lacking the desire to engage in sexual activities is not the same thing as lacking sexual desire (sex drive).

    Some asexuals may have high sex drives. I could use myself as a rather personal example of this; I enjoy looking at porn and masturbation I just have no interest in physically having sex with someone else. I can fantasise about sex and foreplay all day long but at no point would this give me the impulse to go out and actually do these things.

    Imagine asexuality like an 80 inch flat screen TV. Lots of people would love an 80 inch flat screen TV but not everyone will go out and buy one, even if they had the money! If these people won an 80 inch flat screen TV (in a prize show or something) they will certainly enjoy using it, but that doesn't mean that they ever had any desire to get it.

    Likewise, I have no interest in having sex. If I ever had sex I'm sure I would enjoy it, but otherwise I'm not going to go out and try to get it.

    Does that help clear things up a little?
    Offline

    5
    ReputationRep:
    As an asexual:
    I rarely tell people that I am asexual because it isn't a huge deal for me. I'm not very romantic either. I feel bad that I turn down really nice people sometimes though. Once, someone asked me out and completely stopped talking to me when I said no. Why would you do that?
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by jedijupiter)
    As an asexual:
    I rarely tell people that I am asexual because it isn't a huge deal for me. I'm not very romantic either. I feel bad that I turn down really nice people sometimes though. Once, someone asked me out and completely stopped talking to me when I said no. Why would you do that?
    Because they saw that there was no potential in being in a relationship with you. It's easier for them at that point to leave you, alone.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    Funnily enough, that is also the exact definition of Loss of libido (sex drive), a common medical problem that can affect approximately one in five men, and even more women, at some point in their life.Its almost as if they're exactly the same thing
    Can you not conceive of a person being directionlessly horny?
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I think this person clearly isn't understanding or choosing to accept that libido is different from sexual attraction.
    because it isn't. If you want to have sex, you want to have sex.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Infraspecies)
    Can you not conceive of a person being directionlessly horny?
    Yes. But that means you're sexually attracted to everyone, not no-one
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by SHallowvale)
    Lacking the desire to engage in sexual activities is not the same thing as lacking sexual desire (sex drive).
    Yes it is.

    "Sexual desire is a motivational state and an interest in “sexual objects or activities, or as a wish, need, or drive to seek out sexual objects or to engage in sexual activities”.[1] Synonyms for sexual desire are libido, sexual attraction, and lust."
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by TheWorldEndsWithYou)
    No, I'm a heteroromantic asexual male with a high libido, basically. It's funny, no-one actually asked what my libido is like but instead preferred to come here with beliefs founded on nothing rather than ask, But it's fun watching you try to be a smart-ass rather than trying to actual learn from the discussion going on here.

    In regards to the question of this thread you're doing a good job proving my point.
    Don't be a ****. made up words with self-contradictory definitions don't make you look smart, they make you look stupid.

    heteroromantic and asexual are contradictions in terms.

    asexual with a high libido is a contradiction in terms.

    Other than that, you're doing just fine.
    Offline

    8
    ReputationRep:
    Jeez Coleslaw, chill out.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Mankytoes)
    Jeez Coleslaw, chill out.
    I am chilled out. 4 different people quoted me, so I replied. Its a purely academic debate, although it does annoy me when people use self-contradictory combinations of words and think it makes them sound clever.

    FFS, look up the meaning of words before you use them.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by william walker)
    So they are basically people who mentally don't want to have sex. Like me because I am a High Church Anglican?
    Not sure this is a good comparison tbh... It would depend really how much of your sexual desires and instincts you're consciously suppressing because extra-marital sex is forbidden by your religion, which extols at great length the (supposed) negative consequences of such fornication. One could argue the brainwashing of people of faith to make the choice between the "righteous path" or an eternity of pain, suffering and torture would be enough to turn any normal person into a gibbering wreck if presented with the idea of sex.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Mankytoes)
    Jeez Coleslaw, chill out.
    Agreed. People indetify in different ways. Deal with it and get over it.
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    Yes it is.

    "Sexual desire is a motivational state and an interest in “sexual objects or activities, or as a wish, need, or drive to seek out sexual objects or to engage in sexual activities”.[1] Synonyms for sexual desire are libido, sexual attraction, and lust."
    In the context of what I have writen, ''Lacking the desire to engage in sexual activities'' refers to what I want to do, specifically with regards to engaging with other people, while ''Sexual desire'' refers to what I am capable of feeling.


    I'm not particularly sure how this is in great conflict with what you have said. The definition you have given is pretty broad, so the two may be the same thing in some circumstances but might not be in others. It depends which activites you're talking about and the extent to which you are interested in them, hence the example I had given.

    Asexuality is a spectrum like any other and there are various ways in which disinterest in sexual activity can manifest. To quote Wikipedia,

    ''Some asexual people engage in sexual activity despite lacking a desire for sexor sexual attraction, due to a variety of reasons, such as a desire to pleasure themselves or romantic partners, or a desire to have children.''

    It seems that the problem you have is that you dislike the word itself?
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    Yes. But that means you're sexually attracted to everyone, not no-one
    No it doesn't, it means one has an anticipation of sexual activity, which equally needn't require the presence or involvement of another person.
    Have you never been horny while alone?
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by SHallowvale)
    In the context of what I have writen, ''Lacking the desire to engage in sexual activities'' refers to what I want to do, specifically with regards to engaging with other people, while ''Sexual desire'' refers to what I am capable of feeling.


    I'm not particularly sure how this is in great conflict with what you have said. The definition you have given is pretty broad, so the two may be the same thing in some circumstances but might not be in others. It depends which activites you're talking about and the extent to which you are interested in them, hence the example I had given.

    Asexuality is a spectrum like any other and there are various ways in which disinterest in sexual activity can manifest. To quote Wikipedia,

    ''Some asexual people engage in sexual activity despite lacking a desire for sexor sexual attraction, due to a variety of reasons, such as a desire to pleasure themselves or romantic partners, or a desire to have children.''

    It seems that the problem you have is that you dislike the word itself?
    I don't dislike anything in particular, other than people talking *******s.

    Asexual is just another word for "low libido".

    The difference is, people who recognise that they have low libidos often do something about it and improve their lives. People who class themselves as asexuals don't for some stupid reason. Whatever way you look at it, that's a terrible shame. In that it produces an unhealthy attitude, the word should be discontinued.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Infraspecies)
    No it doesn't, it means one has an anticipation of sexual activity, which equally needn't require the presence or involvement of another person.
    Have you never been horny while alone?
    What a bizarre question. If you're horny but can't find anyone you want to do it with, you're not asexual, you're just picky.
    • #4
    #4

    I think more people should be aware of this, especially since in the 21st Century some people think that losing their virginity is the most important thing in the world, and they look down on virgins. What people need to learn is that sleeping with someone is not something everyone wants/needs.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    What a bizarre question. If you're horny but can't find anyone you want to do it with, you're not asexual, you're just picky.
    By "alone" I mean necessarily that no one else is present as an object of sexual attention. One can stimulate their libido merely in anticipation of some form of sexual activity, here masturbation, without the requirement of attraction to another person.
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    I don't dislike anything in particular, other than people talking *******s.

    Asexual is just another word for "low libido".

    The difference is, people who recognise that they have low libidos often do something about it and improve their lives. People who class themselves as asexuals don't for some stupid reason. Whatever way you look at it, that's a terrible shame. In that it produces an unhealthy attitude, the word should be discontinued.
    Well, no it's not. I've explained this before.

    Some asexuals may have absolute low libido but not all of them do. Some asexuals may have high libido to some sexual activities while low libido to others.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Infraspecies)
    By "alone" I mean necessarily that no one else is present as an object of sexual attention. One can stimulate their libido merely in anticipation of some form of sexual activity, here masturbation, without the requirement of attraction to another person.
    But OP fantasises about women. Surely that is sexual attraction?
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: August 25, 2015
Poll
Who is most responsible for your success at university

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.