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How can the online dating experience be improved for men? watch

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    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    Don't think I don't take your view on board. Its just that it is a view I have heard many times before, have considered in detail, and have recognised to be bull****.
    We see your point but many people dont have the social skills to do what you say. So online dating is okay.

    But they should probably practice normal chatting too even if theyre not good at it.

    Stick at it until they get decent at it.
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    Unless the site/app/online dating platform makes sure there's a 1:1 ratio of guys and girls, it will always be a sausage fest.
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    (Original post by louieee)
    Men could work to become more desirable so that the women of the dating sites actually want to talk to the men?
    But if all men did this it would raise the bar and women would expect even higher standards than they presently do. Women are the ones who don't (need to) put any effort in, men put plenty in.
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    (Original post by belalbenfadhel)
    Unless the site/app/online dating platform makes sure there's a 1:1 ratio of guys and girls, it will always be a sausage fest.
    That would be an interesting experiment which I think could be sold to both genders. Although you would have to have some way to prevent men making fake female profiles.
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    (Original post by scrotgrot)
    That would be an interesting experiment which I think could be sold to both genders. Although you would have to have some way to prevent men making fake female profiles.
    I'm sure the developers would find a way and then the ********s who actually do that **** would find a way to get around in and so the circle of ********ness continues.
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    (Original post by TorpidPhil)
    Without discussing your sexuality specifically. Why is it that so many females on dating site claim to be bisexual? No way whatsoever is the dating site population for females so queer that ~50% are bisexual. It's absurd. Do women think this is a turn on for guys or something?
    No shame online. And 20% of women would do/have done stuff with a woman, and that's based on surveys of women aged up to 70, more would be expected among the young tinder demographic
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    (Original post by trustmeimlying1)
    We see your point but many people dont have the social skills to do what you say. So online dating is okay.

    But they should probably practice normal chatting too even if theyre not good at it.

    Stick at it until they get decent at it.
    But the reason they don't have the social skills is because they don't practice.

    Its like complaining that reading is too hard, so you won't even try. If you can't do something, practice.

    So yes, I agree with you.
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    (Original post by belalbenfadhel)
    I'm sure the developers would find a way and then the ********s who actually do that **** would find a way to get around in and so the circle of ********ness continues.
    Unfortunately app developers have an obvious interest in inflating the number of users so they probably wouldn't try
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    (Original post by TorpidPhil)
    It's absolutely awful. You have to make such an effort to initiate meaningful conversation with people. 80% don't reply back. 20% so far have replied back within the next 24hours with a few sentences. I find messaging people who are online at that time is by far the best way to go. I have been very very low with my standards. Yet I find nobody ever messages me first - even to continue a conversation we were having at an earlier period. I have to start every conversation. Lead every conversation and this is to get a girl to merely add me on Skype, a girl who may I add isn't doing particularly much in their life, has no ambitions, poor general knowledge, low intelligence, low empathy, is under average attractiveness, fat and otherwise unhealthy and usually poor too. *sigh* I just want someone to cuddle and I don't even care about those things but even with those standards **** is too much effort! >_>

    I can see why it makes people bitter. I'm not bitter though. I understand that the social situations or lack thereof that I put myself in is the reason why I lack friends and thereby girlfriends. But still, it is unfair that the world so much caters for those who enjoy clubbing, meaningless conversation and the like... Alas, it is what it is. HAve to find a way to deal with. Online dating is ****e.
    Exactly. Online dating today is a complete farce. If you're at uni I think you'll have more success just going to societies and clubs trying to meet someone there, and if you're working, I think things like speed dating and other dating services that emphasize initial meets in person are better.

    At the very least if you get rejected IRL, it will help to build your confidence, whereas spending more and more time sat behind a computer is not going to do anything for your social skills.
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    (Original post by scrotgrot)
    But if all men did this it would raise the bar and women would expect even higher standards than they presently do. Women are the ones who don't (need to) put any effort in, men put plenty in.
    Men put plenty of effort in, eh?

    Okay, so how well dressed (and how expertly did you apply make-up) in your profile picture? How many hobbies and interests did you list, other than gaming or browsing the web etc.? How open-minded and empathetic did you make yourself appear?

    Because from what I know of dating sites, women really try their hardest on appearing attractive (not only physically), whereas the men seem to build their profiles very, very lazily, and seem completely out-of-touch with what women want.

    Sure, women don't need to do the chasing hence why you think it's unfair, but there are very logical explanations for that.

    inb4 "even the saggy munters get more attention than 7/10 blokes"
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    (Original post by louieee)
    Men could work to become more desirable so that the women of the dating sites actually want to talk to the men?
    The issue is what economists call a signalling problem.

    Its very difficult to tell whether a person online is lying or telling the truth, and whether they're actually as nice and attractive as they claim to be.

    In real life, there is no such problem. You can tell instantly what a person is like.


    So if you're actually a normal attractive guy, online dating must be incredibly frustrating, because you're used to girls being attracted to you as soon as they meet you, but now they start treating you like you're a weirdo.
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    Youve had a difficult experience of online dating yes. To improve start off with a great profile picture, think carefully about write you write aswell. then try to be more confident with the ladies XDDD
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    (Original post by Hashim123)
    I have a feeling the fact you're not getting replies might have something to do with you having a higher standard of guy in mind. You're aiming for that guy, but that guy has his own standard, so is ignoring you, much like you're ignoring the guys messaging you, who may actually be at your standard; a vicious pecking order, of sorts. Is that true, do you tend to aim for the better-looking guys? It's the only logical explanation I can think of for why a guy on one of those sites wouldn't reply to conversation, aside from the girl being a bad conversationalist.
    Yes, this. She is probably messaging guys she thinks are 9s/10s, but if a guy is a 9/10, then he's going to have his pick of women, so he'll likely only go for the best women too, which means ignoring some.

    She denied it, but I think that's just because a) she doesn't want to admit it; b) she hasnt concscioulsy realised it until now
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    (Original post by MAINE.)
    Yes, this. I was gonna post this, but you beat me to it.

    She denied it, but I think that's just because a) she doesn't want to admit it; b) she hasnt concscioulsy realised it until now
    Like I said, it's pretty much the only explanation that would make sense, knowing what we all know of most guys on dating sites and the staggering ratio of guys to girls. Even the bad conversationalist thing doesn't check out, because in a dynamic where most guys are desperate for any sort of conversation, they're not making the distinction between good and bad conversationalists - they can't afford to.
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    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    The issue is what economists call a signalling problem.

    Its very difficult to tell whether a person online is lying or telling the truth, and whether they're actually as nice and attractive as they claim to be.

    In real life, there is no such problem. You can tell instantly what a person is like.


    So if you're actually a normal attractive guy, online dating must be incredibly frustrating, because you're used to girls being attracted to you as soon as they meet you, but now they start treating you like you're a weirdo.
    Well I have met people on here and their online persona was pretty accurate to how they were in real life.

    You still have this signalling problem in real life encounters with people. Most people are on their best behavior when they encounter new people, especially if they are dating them. The closer you get either friend wise or romantically wise the more and more you find out the 'real' them. This is magnified if you ever get in a long term serious relationship with someone. Basically you can;t side step this problem. It's always a bit of a gamble.
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    (Original post by ChaoticButterfly)
    Well I have met people on here and their online persona was pretty accurate to how they were in real life.

    You still have this signalling problem in real life encounters with people. Most people are on their best behavior when they encounter new people, especially if they are dating them. The closer you get either friend wise or romantically wise the more and more you find out the 'real' them. This is magnified if you ever get in a long term serious relationship with someone. Basically you can;t side step this problem. It's always a bit of a gamble.
    You can tell more about someone in 30 seconds in real life than you can in hours and hours online.

    I must have spoken to you 100s of times, but I still have very little idea what you are like in real life.
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    (Original post by scrotgrot)
    But if all men did this it would raise the bar and women would expect even higher standards than they presently do. Women are the ones who don't (need to) put any effort in, men put plenty in.
    You see to forget getting a GF is part of the evolutionary process which is defined by competition for the best mates. If men don't make themselves more attractive and desirable, they don't reproduce and their genes die out.

    Most men are boring, do boring things like go to cinema, pubs, clubs, music venues that millions already do. For starters, most profile photos are crap, done on phone cameras and in pubs. Get some done by someone who knows how to do photos and go from there.
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    (Original post by Maker)
    You see to forget getting a GF is part of the evolutionary process which is defined by competition for the best mates. If men don't make themselves more attractive and desirable, they don't reproduce and their genes die out.

    Most men are boring, do boring things like go to cinema, pubs, clubs, music venues that millions already do. For starters, most profile photos are crap, done on phone cameras and in pubs. Get some done by someone who knows how to do photos and go from there.
    So your contention here is that if all men improved themselves women would be less hypergamous and not hold out for something better, so the threshold for a woman to go out with a man is fixed at some level (e.g. of resources) rather than relative (e.g. social status).

    I guess it's hard to say which it is really.
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    (Original post by MAINE.)
    Yes, this. She is probably messaging guys she thinks are 9s/10s, but if a guy is a 9/10, then he's going to have his pick of women, so he'll likely only go for the best women too, which means ignoring some.

    She denied it, but I think that's just because a) she doesn't want to admit it; b) she hasnt concscioulsy realised it until now
    Do you see the guys I've messaged.. no. They are average looking.
    See I know what you are trying to do here and it's not going to work. I'm happy with how I look, you're just bitter because I called you out on another thread.
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    (Original post by scrotgrot)
    So your contention here is that if all men improved themselves women would be less hypergamous and not hold out for something better, so the threshold for a woman to go out with a man is fixed at some level (e.g. of resources) rather than relative (e.g. social status).

    I guess it's hard to say which it is really.

    We're humans, not ****ing stag beetles. Hypergamy is a silly myth, even in class conscious Britain.
 
 
 
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