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I love my boyfriend but want to f*ck other guys. watch

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    mehh, i think if you should end the relationship if you want to shag another guy so bad tbh. Better to do out of a relationship than within. If you loved your boyfriend tben you wouldn't want to shag another guy. Perhaps you are not sexually attracted to your boyfriend. I thinm that you and your boyfriend would be better of being friends.
    Tbf its not a particular guy, its random guys she meets that she has fantasies about. Nothing wrong with the odd daydream/fantasy.

    OP, your horny, just masturbate should solve the problem

    (Original post by DebbyDowner)
    If my boyfriend was physically here, I'd have sex with him instead but he isn't. So yes, I do just want a one night stand. I want to have non romantic sex with a man that doesn't want anything more because emotionally I'm connected to my boyfriend.
    Thats different than a fantasy. You actually want/intend to do it

    Dump your bf and find someone else. If you wanna screw then screw but at least be decent and break up with your fella first.
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    (Original post by DebbyDowner)
    I'm in a LDR whilst my boyfriend studies abroad for a 18 months!!
    I absolutely love my boyfriend, he's amazing and I'd never cheat on him but it's seriously difficult to not look at other guys during this time and imagine having sex with them. I just want a one night stand... (In my head)
    I tried to bring it up with him because I believe in honesty but obviously he wasn't happy to talk about it and just told me that he doesn't look at other girls at all...
    He makes me feel like a terrible person but surely it's natural? Does this mean that I'm not really in love because I can separate the two things?
    :lol: :lol: :lol:

    It's ok to fantasize other guys as long as you don't initiate anything. He does the same.
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    Your options:
    Cheat on your partner.
    Leave your partner, then sleep around.
    Remain loyal to your partner.

    What you choose to do will depend on your values when it comes to a relationship. If you really are willing to betray him then he'd be better off alone.
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    (Original post by kreative)
    Debbie, you have confused love with lust, what is love ? It means putting the other person above your needs and desires and wanting the best for them, you are clearly not mature enough to be in a relationship, how would you feel if your boyfriend told you he wants to sleep with other woman and in doing so kick you o the curb ? Debbie you need God, you need Jesus, seek him and as the bbile says he will give you living water.....but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life."... repent and believe in Christ as you are lost.
    I can honestly say that if he told me that he was tempted to have sex with other women i wouldn't be devastated because I know that he loves me and the sex in our relationship is a bonus. I'd be more upset if he was confiding in another women or actually dating.
    I'm not a Christian so we have different views on being lost.
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    (Original post by DebbyDowner)
    I'm in a LDR whilst my boyfriend studies abroad for a 18 months!!
    I absolutely love my boyfriend, he's amazing and I'd never cheat on him but it's seriously difficult to not look at other guys during this time and imagine having sex with them. I just want a one night stand... (In my head)
    I tried to bring it up with him because I believe in honesty but obviously he wasn't happy to talk about it and just told me that he doesn't look at other girls at all...
    He makes me feel like a terrible person but surely it's natural? Does this mean that I'm not really in love because I can separate the two things?
    My faith in humanity is gone XD
    You told your boyfriend this and he DIDN'T dump you? O.o

    I doubt it'll last much longer
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    I know this struggle
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    (Original post by jeremy1988)
    Well, chances are that you just have a high libido. If you were a man, I don't think anyone would have an issue with you thinking like this.

    You should just bear in mind that this is the opposite of what usually happens. Compartmentalising sex and love like this is typically regarded as masculine thinking in social stereotypes, so people don't know how to take it when the situation is reversed. That's probably why you're getting so many negative responses.

    I will just say, this is natural in a long-distance relationship. They rarely work out. If someone's not around most of the time and you're mostly interacting with other people, you'll be drawn to the people you can be around in the moment rather than the distant one you made a commitment to earlier. You might regret that later on, but in the moment the available partner seems more appealing than a lonely sense of duty. Especially when the person isn't even around to scold you or be disappointed in you.

    Some people stay in relationships for love. But you seem like the kind of person who has other... needs. So you're not happy in your relationship because your boyfriend isn't around to meet those needs. Since you may very well be a high libido person, this is frustrating for you. And being a girl, you probably feel somewhat guilty about it because you think you're supposed to be the stronger one.

    I would say that you might need to think about whether you want to stay in a long-distance relationship. Will the situation change any time soon, within a few months? Or will this go on for years? I think that when the two of you can be together in person, a lot of these feelings will go away. But if that's not going to happen for a while, your frustration might become unbearable.

    Only you can decide what to do about it. I suppose you could even point out to him that you are... lonely, and ask for his permission to sleep with someone until he gets back. Some people will agree to such things in an LDR situation when you point out that they aren't there for you, but lying and sneaking around is always a bad idea.
    Thank you for this! I feel like you've actually tried to understand.

    I've wanted to tell him that I couldn't stay LDR so many times. We went on a break once because I couldn't handle it but when I actually had the opportunities to be with other guys it didnt feel right.
    I feel stuck. I want other guys that I meet and I need a time frame of how long I will have to deal with this but ultimately I know I will stay with my bf until he comes back home.
    It's just a really lonely situation to be in and Skype, whatsapp etc isn't enough so a lot of the time it does feel unbearable to me and it seems like he's coping with it a lot better than I am which makes me feel like crap.
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    (Original post by Porcupayne)
    My faith in humanity is gone XD
    You told your boyfriend this and he DIDN'T dump you? O.o

    I doubt it'll last much longer

    I told him months ago, I'm a very honest person so he trusts me.
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    (Original post by georgiaswift)
    That's the issue with the Internet - it's so easy to misinterpret what someone is trying to say. Didn't mean for it to come across that way
    True, sorry that I did.
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    (Original post by Lord Jon)
    I'll be honest in that he makes you "feel" like a horrible person because you are a horrible person to an extent...


    How else do you expect to feel? Not exactly going to get a knighthood or peerage are we...

    That's not what I'm debating I'm debating whether it's ok to be in love and be sexually attracted to other men and fantasise about them. I think my feelings are natural, I only feel bad about it because my boyfriend insists that he is only attracted to me.
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    (Original post by DebbyDowner)
    It's been like 7 months... So nearly 9 months by December. That's long lol
    The correct thing would I guess be to discuss with your boyfriend. He may be understanding and say its fine. Though it would depend a lot on how comfortable you feel with each other, and the nature of your relationship generally.
    Where are you both in relation to each other? Far?
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    7 months , must be excruciating
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    (Original post by hellodave5)
    The correct thing would I guess be to discuss with your boyfriend. He may be understanding and say its fine. Though it would depend a lot on how comfortable you feel with each other, and the nature of your relationship generally.
    Where are you both in relation to each other? Far?
    He's in the states, east coast and I'm in London. Really I think I just have to just deal with how it is until he's back for good because he won't be ok with it.
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    (Original post by WoodyMKC)
    Ahhh, you're one of those open-relationship types. Lemme have a go on your missus then
    I actually wouldn't mind, but I don't think she'd be into it. I'm not allowed to have an open relationship, I ask for it but the answer was always no.
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    Hi would you consider ****ing maybe another girl instead maybe he would be fine with that also how old are you
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    I think this is a test for you to control your urges to pound other guys, young lady. Sheesh, people these days can't control themselves.
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    Just be honest with him and say look I need some sausage action. Proceed from there
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    (Original post by DebbyDowner)
    That's not what I'm debating I'm debating whether it's ok to be in love and be sexually attracted to other men and fantasise about them. I think my feelings are natural, I only feel bad about it because my boyfriend insists that he is only attracted to me.
    He lies. Its completely normal to be attracted to more than one person at the same time.
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    (Original post by DebbyDowner)
    I'm in a LDR whilst my boyfriend studies abroad for a 18 months!!
    I absolutely love my boyfriend, he's amazing and I'd never cheat on him but it's seriously difficult to not look at other guys during this time and imagine having sex with them. I just want a one night stand... (In my head)
    I tried to bring it up with him because I believe in honesty but obviously he wasn't happy to talk about it and just told me that he doesn't look at other girls at all...
    He makes me feel like a terrible person but surely it's natural? Does this mean that I'm not really in love because I can separate the two things?
    Imagine you're the one abroad and your bf said he looks at other hot girls and thinks about f*cking them -____- temptation is not an excuse for infidelity. Please reevaluate your "love" for him.
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    open relationship
 
 
 
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