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I want my boyfriend to be more dominant watch

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    Personally, as long as the girl can take initiative and also puts alot of effort in the bedroom (and isn't just a 'submissive starfish' as someone pointed out earlier) then I don't mind being a bit more dominant, however I still don't like being absolutely dominant.

    OP, just be honest with the guy, however he may not like being completely dominant, so you should be prepared for a compromise in bed. If he's happy to be dominant though, then fair play.
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    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    Pick your moment to encourage him to do certain things and also otherwise tell him that you kinda like it if a guy is dominant in the bedroom, almost in passing :innocent:

    Fair point. Nowt worse than a sexually unfulfilled/repressed feminist! (see feminists of the ranty variety for reference) :mmm:

    Perhaps not every other walk, no, but I've yet to date a girl who liked being dominated in the sack and also didn't slot naturally into playing the role of the somewhat deferential date. Vast majority of women tend to like a guy who takes the lead/they feel slightly in awe of :dontknow:

    Outside of fantasy land (and mental illness), in my experience lasses who may rebel a bit against gender norms tend to revert back to them, to some extent, sooner or later – in certain conditions/the company of certain characters (whether they’re conscious of/admit to it or not)

    Enjoy your 157 PMs :teeth:

    Hook me up with an exchange, you nutter! :borat:

    Haha, actually I find it kinda hawt to have a girl that doesn't take it lying down.. unless you command her to, (mostly) in private :sexface:
    Realising gender is a fiction of society, as opposed to a natural occurence, just makes you realise that everything is a performativity of gender structures (when people do/say obvious stuff like 'you have morals of a man'). It doesn't mean people go against their gender 'norm', because gender is a binary oppositon, strong/weak, caring, nurturing/cold and distant, masculine/feminine etc, you're bound to wind up in one category associated with eachother.
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    (Original post by Buggsy97)
    I bought some toys .. just always tell each other beforehand what your limits are and what is definitely not allowed
    ”Toys are definitely not allowed in the bedroom”. Sorted

    (Original post by Buggsy97)
    Many women like to be independent and actually have a spine in all aspects of life
    How does that contradict what I said? :dontknow:

    (Original post by grvcex97)
    Haha I'm all up for it
    So I hear.. :laugh:

    Spoiler:
    Show
    Sorry :mmm:

    Spoiler:
    Show
    Not sorry :evilbanana:

    Spoiler:
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    Seriously, vacate your room and tell your cohabs to expect me – I’ll be on the next flight :yeah:

    (Original post by SmashConcept)
    The double thumbs up are a seduction technique I learnt from Relationship Counsellor and Dating Coach, Foo.Mp3
    Right on the money :borat:

    (Original post by Josb)
    You still have to learn how to make multiple spoilers
    Compensated for this glaring omission above, fret not

    (Original post by addyaxis)
    Realising gender is a fiction of society, as opposed to a natural occurrence, just makes you realise that everything is a performativity of gender structures (when people do/say obvious stuff like 'you have morals of a man')
    What a pretty word :hippie:

    Granted, many aspects of gendered identity are (somewhat self-reinforcing) imprinted social constructs but that does not mean that these do not, to some extent, reflect/channel our innate features/animal essence (see behavioural psychology for reference – men and women, not the same)

    because gender is a binary opposition, strong/weak, caring, nurturing/cold and distant, masculine/feminine etc, you're bound to wind up in one category associated with each other
    You fail to appreciate the nuances of gender identity if you seriously conceive of related attributes as necessarily being quite so dichotomous et. categorical. It’s not about absolutism, it’s about rough fits in the context of real social/gender dynamics. Please, for the love of God, get your head out of the waffle blogs of self-absorbed/pitifully confused, embittered and deluded 'third wave feminists'/'social justice warriors' and into the real world. Good night, and good luck
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    (Original post by keturah)
    Just tell him. I'm pretty up front about things and told my ex boyfriend that I liked to be pinned down etc, nothing extreme.
    Say that when he takes control it really turns you on, then suggest things you'd like him to do
    Oh my :sexface:
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    (Original post by littlenorthernlass)
    What woman doesn't want to be pinned down and pushed around and talked dirty to and even be smacked?!:mmm: Maybe he secretly wants to do all these things to you but thinks you won't like it?! Who knows, unless you ask!
    And you are going to be a teacher? :facepalm:
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    (Original post by WoodyMKC)
    Oh my :sexface:
    Haha, I knew someone would notice that.
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    (Original post by Josb)
    Haha, I knew someone would notice that.
    It was always going to be me, my eye always automatically zones in on that sort of thing
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    (Original post by Juichiro)
    And you are going to be a teacher? :facepalm:
    It's okay, I'm sure she won't be teaching the kiddies to get their boyfriends to tie them up and slap them about. Here's to hoping not anyway
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    (Original post by WoodyMKC)
    It's okay, I'm sure she won't be teaching the kiddies to get their boyfriends to tie them up and slap them about. Here's to hoping not anyway
    Nope, I am fearing that she will spread around the assumption that all women (by using the negative "what women doesn't like x") like to be treated in a certain way. I assume that the basis of this different treatment is based on sex, thus it is sexism. :fyi:
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    (Original post by halliethestudent)
    Help!!!! Me and my boyfriends sex life is so so great don't get me wrong but I want him to be more controlling during these times. However I'm the sort of girl who's such a feminist and doesn't let anyone tell me what to do and I put people in their place if I do so this is why I'm so shy and embarrassed to tell him because in the past I've been so embarrassed to admit I like it because of the barrier I put up. But during sexy time I want him to talk dirty to me and I want him to pin me down but he treats me as an equal which I know is great but at that time it's not what I want so I need help!!!


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    So essentially "I want him to behave in a particular way in bed but I'm not prepared to tell him that I want him to behave in that way so how can I make him realise that's what I want without saying anything or giving any indication".

    How about you stop being so ****ing stupid and just tell him.
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    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    ”Toys are definitely not allowed in the bedroom”. Sorted

    How does that contradict what I said? :dontknow:

    So I hear.. :laugh:
    Right on the money :borat:

    Compensated for this glaring omission above, fret not

    What a pretty word :hippie:

    Granted, many aspects of gendered identity are (somewhat self-reinforcing) imprinted social constructs but that does not mean that these do not, to some extent, reflect/channel our innate features/animal essence (see behavioural psychology for reference – men and women, not the same)

    You fail to appreciate the nuances of gender identity if you seriously conceive of related attributes as necessarily being quite so dichotomous et. categorical. It’s not about absolutism, it’s about rough fits in the context of real social/gender dynamics. Please, for the love of God, get your head out of the waffle blogs of self-absorbed/pitifully confused, embittered and deluded 'third wave feminists'/'social justice warriors' and into the real world. Good night, and good luck
    Out of interest, you should look up intersex children and how their gender has never related to their hormones etc.
    So someone born with a vagina but who have XY chromosones and male hormones (who later find out they have never been able to grow boobs or have a period etc), act feminine due to their parents believing them to be a girl. It pretty much wipes out psychology theories and 'scientific' proof that different levels of hormones control our personality. Because children who are born with neither or both sexes tend to act the gender their parent assigns them. This is separate from trans people.
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    Only referring to the weather exchange though haha
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    Have you ever tried being more submissive (rather than just feigning interest in sex)? Like specifically saying something like "can I be your little whore (or sex doll) tonight?" or a bit tamer like "spank my ass" or "pull my hair" when in doggy. You can also talk to him before you can actually get down to business. Like texting him at school/work about all the things you want him to do to you when he gets home.
    Would tying yourself up on the bed or somewhere and having him find you like that turn him on? Or him watching you get yourself off with anal stimulation? Men tend to be highly visual so maybe if he sees what you've started without him, he'll want to jump right in and join you.
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    (Original post by nityaaditya)
    Have you ever tried being more submissive (rather than just feigning interest in sex)? Like specifically saying something like "can I be your little whore (or sex doll) tonight?" or a bit tamer like "spank my ass" or "pull my hair" when in doggy. You can also talk to him before you can actually get down to business. Like texting him at school/work about all the things you want him to do to you when he gets home.
    Would tying yourself up on the bed or somewhere and having him find you like that turn him on? Or him watching you get yourself off with anal stimulation? Men tend to be highly visual so maybe if he sees what you've started without him, he'll want to jump right in and join you.
    The latter would definitely work:sexface:

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    (Original post by halliethestudent)
    Help!!!! Me and my boyfriends sex life is so so great don't get me wrong but I want him to be more controlling during these times. However I'm the sort of girl who's such a feminist and doesn't let anyone tell me what to do and I put people in their place if I do so this is why I'm so shy and embarrassed to tell him because in the past I've been so embarrassed to admit I like it because of the barrier I put up. But during sexy time I want him to talk dirty to me and I want him to pin me down but he treats me as an equal which I know is great but at that time it's not what I want so I need help!!!


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    Tell him, How else will he know? If you stay embarressed about it, its not going to improve is it?
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    Oh the thirst in this thread.
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    (Original post by addyaxis)
    intersex children
    Know many intersex kids do thee? :holmes:

    act feminine due to their parents believing them to be a girl. It pretty much wipes out psychology theories
    Nope. You'll still find that, once you strip away 'the act', these people will generally conform to behavioural type e.g. as per their limbic and hormonal systems

    different levels of hormones control our personality
    Different levels of psychoactive hormones certainly do influence our behaviour,* but personality is of course a function of factors including neuroplasticity, as well as neuroendocrine neurochemistry

    children who are born with neither or both sexes tend to act the gender their parent assigns them
    For sure, but over time, with freedom of individual expression, people will tend to wind up acting in accordance with their physiological essence. You're talking to someone with a fair amount of knowledge of integrative physiology, as well as dating coaching/relationship counselling, so I'm afraid you're not going to convince me that our psyche is not innately governed, to a considerable extent, by our sexually dimorphic physiologies
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    (Original post by Juichiro)
    And you are going to be a teacher? :facepalm:
    (Original post by Juichiro)
    Nope, I am fearing that she will spread around the assumption that all women (by using the negative "what women doesn't like x" like to be treated in a certain way. I assume that the basis of this different treatment is based on sex, thus it is sexism. :fyi:
    What:indiff: Go away, little boy, and find your tinfoil hat.:wtf:
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    go to ann summers, buy this black silk rope and just... give it to him without saying a word (or gift wrap it,) if he doesn't clock on what to do after that then my condolences

    rope is a great way to experiment with soft domination and may be a good ice breaker for you as a couple exploring kinkier things
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    (Original post by littlenorthernlass)
    What:indiff: Go away, little boy, and find your tinfoil hat.:wtf:
    That's not an answer, Little Bunny.
 
 
 
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