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Being Gay at School. watch

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    (Original post by ivybridge)
    Well, I was always called gay from the age of around about 6 at primary school and teachers didn't do anything about it. I didn't know what it all really meant; words like '******' and 'bender', and so on.

    When I matriculated to secondary school, I too attending a catholic school, I met a boy I thought was pretty attractive and he was two years older than me. He was gay and we talked a lot and had a kiss or two. I told one of my close friends I was gay and he was okay with it. I told another 'friend' who then laughed me out of the school to be honest. He told everyone that same day and it spread across the town pretty quickly, different people in different schools knew after a couple of months and after a year, pretty much everyone knew me as the gay guy who came out at 11 and was brave and all that rubbish that I really didn't merit. I had a couple of boys beat me up, one boy stabbed me in year 8/early year 9 and teachers actively took part in a great deal of the persecution.

    My deputy head placed me in isolation for a month for speaking out against somebody who was bullying me and called it an inappropriate topic of discussion for school. My parents did not approve of who I was and supported this teacher. One friend made a stand against him and she was excluded for doing so. The headteacher did not disagree with the deputy head's actions and allowed him to continue. Then when I began self-harming in year 8 through to the middle of year 9, I was excluded. Teachers began to join in with the tormenting, one teacher told me he'd buy me a dress for my birthday just randomly and I'm not at all effeminate, it was just a dig and unprompted. Another just joined in with other people when taking the mickey out of homosexuality. A lot happened.

    After I attempted to commit suicide by hanging, my headteacher resigned and the replacement enforced strict policies about bullying and was a child-protection officer. In year ten, a new deputy joined the school and she literally saved my life so many times. She hired Stonewall UK to train my teachers, spoke about homosexuality and anti-gay bullying in assemblies to educate people on the issue and everything got significantly better. Teachers were making a point of punishing bullies rather than brushing it under the carpet or joining in. At my new college, no teacher's are aware about my sexuality and I haven't spoken about it - my friends know and if I'm asked I don't deny it but it hasn't been shouted about by anyone, which I'm happy about. One teacher knows for a couple of reasons and he has been so supportive.

    I think you just have to stay strong at school and remember that school-children don't know what they're saying half of the time. I never bullied anyone at school, I'd never be able to do that to somebody.

    I hope that answers the question...
    When reading that my thoughts were that I want to give you a hug and that I then want to beat the **** out of your teachers and parents.


    Most of the stuff I got at school was ignorant stuff rather than hateful:

    'How do two women have sex?'
    'It's not sex without a penis.'
    'Is [insert name of random person I've never been friends with] gay/a lesbian?'

    There was one point some of the guys in my physics class at Sixth Form were making loads of misogynist and homophobic jokes and our teacher was ignoring this and I said directly to the teacher (so the rest of the class could hear) that if he didn't tell them to shut the **** up I was walking and never returning. It worked.

    I think the worst thing was that my sexuality and (to be honest non-existent) sex life became immediately up for public discussion. A 'friend' outed me because he thought the two biggest gossips in our group of friends 'ought to know'. And then of course they told EVERYONE because they thought they social status came from telling everyone other people's secrets.
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    I attended a fairly average school and one of my best friends was gay. He even led everyone to believe that he was in a relationship with me, just so that he could avoid being asked about his sexuality. Strangely enough though, I don't think anyone from my school would have bullied him or judged him for it, it was just his own worries/ concerns that stopped him from being himself
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    I realised I was gay in Year 9 and dated a girl who didn't go my school. I'm openly pansexual now, in Year 11, and absolutely no one has an issue with it. I come from a Christian family, and live in a Christian area, but it doesn't affect anyone. Very happy to live in a homophobe-free area
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    I realised I was gay in Year 8, went through a couple of years of tweaking and learning who I liked, and now I'm openly pansexual (in Year 11) with a lovely trans girlfriend and an accepting family. Sure, words like "gay" are still used offensively, but it's dying out. Homophobia is quickly becoming a thing of the past. I come from a very Christian area and everyone accepts my sexuality ^-^
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    Am I the only one wondering why a 25 year old man is thinking about how sexually oppressed he was 10 years ago? Seriously people love being the victim, you can be who you want to be now so why waste time reminiscing about the past.


    We all had ****ty childhoods because of this and the other so don't think you're a special case or that you're some tortured soul sweetheart because there are people who have had it worse than you.


    Sincerely,
    Life.
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    (Original post by Danny McCoyne)
    Am I the only one wondering why a 25 year old man is thinking about how sexually oppressed he was 10 years ago? Seriously people love being the victim, you can be who you want to be now so why waste time reminiscing about the past.


    We all had ****ty childhoods because of this and the other so don't think you're a special case or that you're some tortured soul sweetheart because there are people who have had it worse than you.


    Sincerely,
    Life.
    No one is playing the victim. People have been victims. Sharing your story does not correlate to dwelling on it. If we did that, I assure you half of us wouldn't be here today.

    Some people had worser childhoods than others and it has nothing to do with acting as though we're a special case. The guy was talking about how and whether or not it's progressed - he wasn't sharing a sob story for attention and for no purpose. People will give anything to be hateful. Leave it alone if you're uninterested.

    Edit: Actually, you can't always be who you are now and that's the point. Ignorance is clearly bliss.
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    (Original post by We'reAllMadHere)
    I used to believe I was asexual but, after doing a bit of research, I realised I had no idea what I was. There are so many different sexualities; I still don't know which category I fall into.
    What do you call a girl who wants to be guy, who wants asexual romance with a girl? It's very confusing.
    If you feel like like a man, then perhaps you're transexual? Being transexual is just you gender identity and has nothing to do with your sexual orientation. It sounds like you're asexual and heteromantic. If you consider yourself a man then liking girls makes you heteromantic. Of course, if you consider yourself to be a woman then you would be homoromantic but from what you've said, it sounds like you're a transexual heteromantic asexual. I don't think it's too weird Girls are great yet vaginas are weird haha.

    I hope this helps
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    (Original post by Zzzyax)
    ***** get off your high horse how dare u condesend to me *****
    It's for your own good. I'm no *****; quite the opposite actually. You shouldn't go around telling people to die on forums with the litigation culture in this country. That's just pure foolishness. Absolutely fine if you'd like to ignore me though and risk throwing your life away over a stupid comment you made when you were 16 on a student forum.

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    (Original post by Zzzyax)
    lol this is a first; a gay muslim! bahahahaha
    lesbian too.
    and I used to wear the hijab for a while but I kinda dropped it.
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    (Original post by Danny McCoyne)
    Am I the only one wondering why a 25 year old man is thinking about how sexually oppressed he was 10 years ago? Seriously people love being the victim, you can be who you want to be now so why waste time reminiscing about the past.


    We all had ****ty childhoods because of this and the other so don't think you're a special case or that you're some tortured soul sweetheart because there are people who have had it worse than you.


    Sincerely,
    Life.
    I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt that you're not a troll - dude the purpose of my thread was to not say "poor me", "I'm a victim" - would you also kindly point out where I even (in your opinion) hinted that I am a "special case or that you're some tortured soul sweetheart"

    The purpose of my thread was to try and gain some knowledge/insight if the reported campaigns to crack down on homophobic abuse/bullying in school to LGBT pupils has had any affect.

    I am perfectly happy, content and thankful for my childhood. However, I am aware that being gay at school for many is difficult and traumatic.

    To others -

    I am somewhat disappointed with certain posts on here from Trolls and people with other agendas.

    I actually have no problem with what you say - freedom of speech but just to make 1 or 2 of you aware what you are spouting if others choose to report it could actually be interpreted as hate crime - I've attached a link for you to wise up on it.

    I actually don't agree with it personally - whether your posting it out of ill-education, embedded prejudice, your just a pretty unhappy, repressed, closeted soul or your just trolling - your entitled to say what you like on my thread. But just so your aware others may not be as tolerate as me and will interpret your postings as bigotry.

    http://www.equalityhumanrights.com/s..._hatecrime.pdf
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    (Original post by Danny McCoyne)
    Why am I not surprised that you're in this thread?

    You're always going on as though you're a holocaust survivor or that you overcame some life-affirming greek tragedy but let me tell you something, you haven't had it as worse as you and your friends on here are pretending you did growing up.


    Being gay in most if not all UK schools is a bad experience but so was being a foreigner, religious and in a lot of cases being black so stop acting like a special snowflake and move on.

    Stop letting your sexuality define you and get on with it.
    Firstly, I am in this thread for no reason other than it is relevant to me.

    I have not once gone on like I was a holocaust survivor. Other people have branded me with the 'brave' tag; I made it quite clear even in my own story that I did not feel I deserved the titles. No, let me tell you something: as a teenager, I found it ridiculously tough to handle what was going on. Do not presume to know how it feels and do not assume you are worthy of telling anyone how to feel and react to a particular situation. It was tough. People have bad experiences and others don't. I did grow up in many ways. I mean, honestly, how dare you try to tell me that my experiences did not contribute to my maturity and were not difficult for me. If that were in any way true, I would not have tried to end my life a countless number of times at the ages of 11, 12, 13 and 16.

    Do not contradict yourself. You have just categorically and incorrectly stated it isn't tough. Now you are saying the opposite. Conclusion: you have not one iota of a clue what you are saying. Indeed, experiences for many of those groups can be difficult and no one is disputing that but this thread is issue specific; it's speaking about sexuality and sexuality only. Also, being black is not really an issue in England, it's one of the most multicultural nations in the world and I am yet to talk to a black person who has been properly persecuted for being black in a school in the UK. Of course, people make comments, but those are easy to move away from after time and that goes for me and anyone else. Name-calling is name-calling.

    Don't tell me to get on with it: do you have any idea how my life works? No? Surprising. So shutting your ignorant mouth is preferable. If you don't understand something then leave it alone. I still cannot get over the fact you think you can tell me how to feel about my life and how you actually have the audacity to speak to me like my life is insignificant and my experiences are nothing. I would love to have seen you get through a fraction of what I got through. I'm not going to cast my entire story out on the internet but believe me and you, there's a lot that had to be done to keep me on track and keep me OK for any period of time and telling me that isn't really a real thing or a valid one, is just disgusting.

    Keep yourself to yourself.
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    I thought people like Blue_Mason were bad but **** me, some people on this thread are something else :lol:
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    (Original post by decentchap96)
    Piss off tosser. Go lick a window.
    No thanks.
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    (Original post by decentchap96)
    I ain't no ******. Don't horse-**** on my face.
    No, I should like to think you aren't a bundle of vegetable matter.
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    (Original post by ivybridge)
    No thanks.
    I'd recommend not engaging with them, it doesn't seem like a constructive discussion thus far
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    (Original post by Zzzyax)
    The only good thing in this, ive realised is that you wont have any children lol. so people like you can die out XD
    Good god, do people not have better things to do with their time than try and annoy/upset people on a forum?

    I'd hope you were trolling, especially given some of your more outlandish comments. But either way, do you really think these things are actually acceptable to say to people?
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    (Original post by shadowdweller)
    Good god, do people not have better things to do with their time than try and annoy/upset people on a forum?

    I'd hope you were trolling, especially given some of your more outlandish comments. But either way, do you really think these things are actually acceptable to say to people?
    I quite agree. As the author of this thread all I can do is apologize to those upset/offended - I had no idea this would descend into such unkindness.
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    (Original post by Daftpunker)
    I quite agree. As the author of this thread all I can do is apologize to those upset/offended - I had no idea this would descend into such unkindness.
    I've been reporting the trolls as and when I spot them.

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    (Original post by x-pixie-x)
    .

    Why are people who dislike homosexuality always assumed to be gay on this site??
    You sound rather defensive of the homophobes on this site... :/

    Anyway, care to give me proof that the homophobes are 'always' assumed to be gay? We all know not every homophobe is gay, but studies show that in MANY cases people who hate homosexuals (like the guy in this thread) are just closeted. They cope with the hatred they have for themselves by projecting it onto others. I wouldn't be surprised if they were also jealous of the fact that openly gay people had the courage to come out, and are better off because of it. Such people want every gay person to be as miserable as they are.
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    (Original post by Frizzaayy;[url="tel:60546463")
    60546463[/url]]If you feel like like a man, then perhaps you're transexual? Being transexual is just you gender identity and has nothing to do with your sexual orientation. It sounds like you're asexual and heteromantic. If you consider yourself a man then liking girls makes you heteromantic. Of course, if you consider yourself to be a woman then you would be homoromantic but from what you've said, it sounds like you're a transexual heteromantic asexual. I don't think it's too weird Girls are great yet vaginas are weird haha.

    I hope this helps
    Transexual heteromantic asexual... Gosh, that's a mouthful.
    I've never thought about it like that before but I guess it makes sense given my situation... Thank you very much; you've helped ease my confusion! Lol
 
 
 
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