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    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by FluffyCherry)
    Yeah, like would it bother you personally if he looks for a second wife? If so, then ask him if he's interested in polygamy to avoid any arguments in the future.
    Id obv mind if my husband went and married again and brought in a 2nd wife.
    But ok..
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by lNurl)
    Hi there,

    Ask about movies too
    :yep:
    • #5
    #5

    Firstly do you want to get married to someone just picked for you? Have you not wanted to make the decision yourself and find someone you truly connect with and see a future with. Someone who will not only be your husband but at the same time your best friend.

    As a muslim myself I find it worrying that 2016 in the UK we still have parents arranging marriages at a young age.

    But generally start would be is he a muslim who will allow you to have friends/social life, is there going to be equality, will you be able to work and have a career you want, that you wont just be restricted to the house cooking etc.

    Generally though talk and find out about his interests, find things you have in common, music, films etc. hopes and dreams and career aspirations, whether you both have similar views on wanting to travel, where to settle etc.

    Because one of the main things is for you to have a happy future and find someone that you see a future with and see happiness with.

    If after the first meeting you arent feeling any connection, anything in common or that you dont get that feeling of a future with him then dont be affraid to tell your parents that he isnt the one.
    Please dont just settle or feel you have to go for someone who you dont feel is a match.
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    (Original post by XxKingSniprxX)
    What do you mean by that? Questions such as ...?

    I think they are all interested/motivated by that. :laugh:
    I don't know man.
    Like personality test questions?
    Like...

    Sorry, I honestly don't know.
    You could search them up on the internet. It's easier.


    I'm not interested/motivated by that. I wouldn't care about his money to be honest.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hahaha, they seem like some good questions. Btw I'm planning to marry an Indian man.
    Make sure he doesn't have anger management issues where he gets violent and out of control.

    And pray Salat ul Istikhaarah before making a final decision.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Firstly do you want to get married to someone just picked for you? Have you not wanted to make the decision yourself and find someone you truly connect with and see a future with. Someone who will not only be your husband but at the same time your best friend.

    As a muslim myself I find it worrying that 2016 in the UK we still have parents arranging marriages at a young age.

    But generally start would be is he a muslim who will allow you to have friends/social life, is there going to be equality, will you be able to work and have a career you want, that you wont just be restricted to the house cooking etc.

    Generally though talk and find out about his interests, find things you have in common, music, films etc. hopes and dreams and career aspirations, whether you both have similar views on wanting to travel, where to settle etc.

    Because one of the main things is for you to have a happy future and find someone that you see a future with and see happiness with.

    If after the first meeting you arent feeling any connection, anything in common or that you dont get that feeling of a future with him then dont be affraid to tell your parents that he isnt the one.
    Please dont just settle or feel you have to go for someone who you dont feel is a match.
    Yeah like my parents havent forced me for this.
    Ive agreed to them looking for someone for me.
    Also, theres no pressure on me either. If i feel a connection i should go along with it, keeping in my mind interests, hobbies as such. If not then i can easily say hes not the one for me.
    (Original post by Marzy-Sama)
    Make sure he doesn't have anger management issues where he gets violent and out of control.

    And pray Salat ul Istikhaarah before making a final decision.
    How do you pray Salat Ul Istikhaarah?
    Bcos someone told me that you can pray it and then sleep and a positive or negative sign will appear in the dream.
    Or someone else has said that you pray the salat and you will end up swaying right or left during hr prayer (assuming swaying right is a good sign and swaying left isnt?)
    But ive wanted to know how to pray this.

    Any links would be appreciated x
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    (Original post by Marzy-Sama)
    I don't know man.
    Like personality test questions?
    Like...

    Sorry, I honestly don't know.
    You could search them up on the internet. It's easier.


    I'm not interested/motivated by that. I wouldn't care about his money to be honest.
    Sure. I would :heart: to believe that in a society we live in today. :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    How do you pray Salat Ul Istikhaarah?
    Bcos someone told me that you can pray it and then sleep and a positive or negative sign will appear in the dream.
    Or someone else has said that you pray the salat and you will end up swaying right or left during hr prayer (assuming swaying right is a good sign and swaying left isnt?)
    But ive wanted to know how to pray this.

    Any links would be appreciated x
    It's a two rakah salah, in the second rakah you read the dua of istikharah, the same way you'd read dua-e-qunoot for witr, like, after getting up from rukuh instead of going straight to sujood you read the dua first.

    Then, after waking up, or even in your dream, you get a sign of sorts telling you if the option is good or bad. Like, after you wake up you'll strongly feel yourself leaning towards one of the two options (marrying him, or not marrying him). Y'know, the gut feeling.
    This should happen within two days or smth. If it doesn't work, you should do it again. And InshaAllah it'll work the second time.
    If you know someone in your family who prays salatul istikharah and is experienced at it, then it's best to ask them to do it for you, if you're not feeling confident.

    I've personally never done it, so I'm not entirely sure. But I know that before choosing your spouse, Istikhaarah is a must.

    Here's a link I found. Hope it helps! ^-^
    http://www.islamicacademy.org/html/D..._Istakhara.htm
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    (Original post by XxKingSniprxX)
    Sure. I would :heart: to believe that in a society we live in today. :rolleyes:
    Well then, enjoy the fact.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Marzy-Sama)
    It's a two rakah salah, in the second rakah you read the dua of istikharah, the same way you'd read dua-e-qunoot for witr, like, after getting up from rukuh instead of going straight to sujood you read the dua first.

    Then, after waking up, or even in your dream, you get a sign of sorts telling you if the option is good or bad. Like, after you wake up you'll strongly feel yourself leaning towards one of the two options (marrying him, or not marrying him). Y'know, the gut feeling.
    This should happen within two days or smth. If it doesn't work, you should do it again. And InshaAllah it'll work the second time.
    If you know someone in your family who prays salatul istikharah and is experienced at it, then it's best to ask them to do it for you, if you're not feeling confident.

    I've personally never done it, so I'm not entirely sure. But I know that before choosing your spouse, Istikhaarah is a must.

    Here's a link I found. Hope it helps! ^-^
    http://www.islamicacademy.org/html/D..._Istakhara.htm
    Thank you so much! Such a doll! :hugs:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you so much! Such a doll! :hugs:
    Anytime xx
    A doll..?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Marzy-Sama)
    Anytime xx
    A doll..?
    I guess i assumed u were female :ninja:
    And i say that ur such a doll likr... i dunno a compliment :lol:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I guess i assumed u were female :ninja:
    And i say that ur such a doll likr... i dunno a compliment :lol:
    I am a female XD
    Oh...
    Well then thanks
    • #4
    #4

    Mines also been postponed to next weekend because this week there is something on at the mosque. I'll let you know how it goes. I'm kinda relieved because I was feeling really nervous about it, I dunno I'm just quite shy when talking to males. I'm gonna prepare my questions I wanna ask and write them down before he comes. Should I dress how I normally do? Or should I dress up a bit? What do you guys think.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Mines also been postponed to next weekend because this week there is something on at the mosque. I'll let you know how it goes. I'm kinda relieved because I was feeling really nervous about it, I dunno I'm just quite shy when talking to males. I'm gonna prepare my questions I wanna ask and write them down before he comes. Should I dress how I normally do? Or should I dress up a bit? What do you guys think.
    Good clothes, to make a good impression.
    Perhaps a bit of natural makeup maybe?
    Yknow, to boost your confidence, and his as well, like, because he'll know that he/ this rishta mattered enough to you to dress up a bit for him, and so he'll see you're kinda serious about this.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Mines also been postponed to next weekend because this week there is something on at the mosque. I'll let you know how it goes. I'm kinda relieved because I was feeling really nervous about it, I dunno I'm just quite shy when talking to males. I'm gonna prepare my questions I wanna ask and write them down before he comes. Should I dress how I normally do? Or should I dress up a bit? What do you guys think.
    Aww bless lol let me know how it goes then!
    And i guess ill just be wearing something nicer than usual, with my contactlens in instead of my glasses :lol:
    My everyday make up should be enough :ninja:

    Unless anyone in my family objects to any of the stuff ive just aaid
    • #4
    #4

    (Original post by Marzy-Sama)
    Good clothes, to make a good impression.
    Perhaps a bit of natural makeup maybe?
    Yknow, to boost your confidence, and his as well, like, because he'll know that he/ this rishta mattered enough to you to dress up a bit for him, and so he'll see you're kinda serious about this.
    Okay thanks for your reply I'll wear something a bit nicer. I hardly wear makeup but I'll just keep the makeup natural.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Okay thanks for your reply I'll wear something a bit nicer. I hardly wear makeup but I'll just keep the makeup natural.
    No problem.
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    Be open with him. Ask him any questions you want, whether it's from his first name to how many children he wants. At the end of the day it's someone who you'll have to spend the rest of your life with so just be open, don't be shy about it. Get to know him. I understand job is really important and that but tbh the most important thing I would personally recommend for you to look for in a spouse is whether they'll be able to take you to jannah? Will this guy be the perfect role model for your children? Will he bring you closer to Allah? Will he be able to give you all the love and care that you deserve to receive? A spouse is someone who you can pray with, read the Qur'an with and do things in the cause of Allah and at the same time have happy times, create memories, have a laugh etc. You can ask him all sorts of questions but think to yourself as to whether this person is the perfect spouse for you? Think about it carefully :')


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    • #4
    #4

    (Original post by Halzy1234)
    Be open with him. Ask him any questions you want, whether it's from his first name to how many children he wants. At the end of the day it's someone who you'll have to spend the rest of your life with so just be open, don't be shy about it. Get to know him. I understand job is really important and that but tbh the most important thing I would personally recommend for you to look for in a spouse is whether they'll be able to take you to jannah? Will this guy be the perfect role model for your children? Will he bring you closer to Allah? Will he be able to give you all the love and care that you deserve to receive? A spouse is someone who you can pray with, read the Qur'an with and do things in the cause of Allah and at the same time have happy times, create memories, have a laugh etc. You can ask him all sorts of questions but think to yourself as to whether this person is the perfect spouse for you? Think about it carefully :')


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Thankyou this is helpful, I agree I shouldn't be shy with him. I've just always been shy especially with males, but I understand I need to be open with him to see if he's a good match for me.
 
 
 
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