Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
x Turn on thread page Beta

Stephen Fry - abuse victims should "grow up" - opinions? watch

Announcements
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Jkakr)
    If you had read the entire thread you would realise that I have been a victim of abuse for many years. You've twisted my words and not understood what I was saying at all. I'm not asking for a ban or for it to be wiped out from media but instead asking for a trigger warning, which isn't that much effort at all considering they put a warning in front of anything that may trigger an epileptic - it's the same idea.
    Also, to point out, even if i had experienced the same, I still wouldn't be able to comment on your level of outrage as things effect different people in different ways. Just because something has effected someone one way doesn't mean it'll effect others the same. A trigger warning should fit for all, as it'll be the individuals choice whether they endure it or not.
    I wouldn't ask for a trigger warning because I'm not that self-absorbed that I would demand others make special allowances. I'm sorry for what happened to you but if you come across something on TV that you can't handle then switch it off. If you're at the movies and you can't handle it then walk out.

    I may feel sensitive about certain issues but they are my problem and my responsibility to get past.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Jebedee)
    I wouldn't ask for a trigger warning because I'm not that self-absorbed that I would demand others make special allowances. I'm sorry for what happened to you but if you come across something on TV that you can't handle then switch it off. If you're at the movies and you can't handle it then walk out.

    I may feel sensitive about certain issues but they are my problem and my responsibility to get past. Go back to America with your trigger warnings.
    How is it being self-absorbed? People who are allergic to peanuts get labels on every type of food and sometimes get foods banned from planes and schools because they could suffer a reaction that they can't control and no-one calls them selfish. It's the same principle. It's not so simple that I can just turn off the TV or walk out if i see something that triggers me, I don't get mildly distressed when I'm triggered - it sets me back to the feelings that I felt of the time of being abused (I don't expect you to understand the feelings because you've never been through it, I hope you never understand in that respect because I wouldn't wish that on anyone).
    It's not about feeling sensitive, it's about not putting people who are susceptible to being psychological harmed, in the position where they would be.
    I cannot control the emotions that appear and I suggest you educate yourself on PTSD and panic attacks.
    Show a little human compassion dude & stop being an a*s
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Jkakr)
    How is it being self-absorbed? People who are allergic to peanuts get labels on every type of food and sometimes get foods banned from planes and schools because they could suffer a reaction that they can't control and no-one calls them selfish. It's the same principle. It's not so simple that I can just turn off the TV or walk out if i see something that triggers me, I don't get mildly distressed when I'm triggered - it sets me back to the feelings that I felt of the time of being abused (I don't expect you to understand the feelings because you've never been through it, I hope you never understand in that respect because I wouldn't wish that on anyone).
    It's not about feeling sensitive, it's about not putting people who are susceptible to being psychological harmed, in the position where they would be.
    I cannot control the emotions that appear and I suggest you educate yourself on PTSD and panic attacks.
    Show a little human compassion dude & stop being an a*s
    This wasn't even an issue until someone on tumblr thought it would be a great idea. I'm sorry for what happened for you but if you can't function in society without being triggered then I don't know what to tell you apart from just stay indoors with your eyes and ears covered. Most of us have been through something crappy and we don't drag others into it.

    Just like Fry said, "you have some of my sympathy, not all of it but some".
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Jebedee)
    This wasn't even an issue until someone on tumblr thought it would be a great idea. I'm sorry for what happened for you but if you can't function in society without being triggered then I don't know what to tell you apart from just stay indoors with your eyes and ears covered. Most of us have been through something crappy and we don't drag others into it.

    Just like Fry said, "you have some of my sympathy, not all of it but some".
    Actually it's been an issue for a while, as I said before, if you educate yourself on PTSD and panic attacks you'd know that the notion has existed as far back as 1918.
    Honestly, are you reading my replies at all or just skimming? A trigger warning is exactly the same as a rating in a movie, at the beginning it tells you what rating it is and if there are scenes of a certain nature inside of it, that's all we're asking for. Do you honestly watch a TV programme and get mad because at the beginning it warned epileptics that they could have a seizure or warning that 'there are scenes of sexual violence that viewers may find distressing.' - it hardly drags others into it, you won't spend the entirety of the movie/show thinking about the warning, it'll leave your mind before the opening credits are finished.
    I understand that it may be 2 seconds of your life that you'll never get back but to someone who would get distressed it can mean a lot.
    I'm not looking for sympathy, just decency.
    Online

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Jkakr)
    How is it being self-absorbed? People who are allergic to peanuts get labels on every type of food and sometimes get foods banned from planes and schools because they could suffer a reaction that they can't control and no-one calls them selfish. It's the same principle. It's not so simple that I can just turn off the TV or walk out if i see something that triggers me, I don't get mildly distressed when I'm triggered - it sets me back to the feelings that I felt of the time of being abused (I don't expect you to understand the feelings because you've never been through it, I hope you never understand in that respect because I wouldn't wish that on anyone).
    It's not about feeling sensitive, it's about not putting people who are susceptible to being psychological harmed, in the position where they would be.
    I cannot control the emotions that appear and I suggest you educate yourself on PTSD and panic attacks.
    Show a little human compassion dude & stop being an a*s
    Exposure to the "triggers" is the best way to overcome ptsd if you avoid it you are reinforcing it.
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Jkakr)
    Actually it's been an issue for a while, as I said before, if you educate yourself on PTSD and panic attacks you'd know that the notion has existed as far back as 1918.
    Honestly, are you reading my replies at all or just skimming? A trigger warning is exactly the same as a rating in a movie, at the beginning it tells you what rating it is and if there are scenes of a certain nature inside of it, that's all we're asking for. Do you honestly watch a TV programme and get mad because at the beginning it warned epileptics that they could have a seizure or warning that 'there are scenes of sexual violence that viewers may find distressing.' - it hardly drags others into it, you won't spend the entirety of the movie/show thinking about the warning, it'll leave your mind before the opening credits are finished.
    I understand that it may be 2 seconds of your life that you'll never get back but to someone who would get distressed it can mean a lot.
    I'm not looking for sympathy, just decency.
    Those warnings are non-specific. The ones you are talking about would very likely act as spoilers which ruin elements of the movie for others. This might not seem like a big thing for you but it will infringe on other people's ability to enjoy things.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by joecphillips)
    Exposure to the "triggers" is the best way to overcome ptsd if you avoid it you are reinforcing it.
    You're supposed to do it in controlled conditions with coping techniques taught to you by a trained psychologist. Not be exposed to it all of a sudden and be caught totally of guard.
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by bullettheory)
    http://www.theguardian.com/culture/2...y-charity-mind

    Personally, I am absolutely disgusted at his comments, especially given his position as president of the largest mental health charity in the UK. If it was up to me, he should resign. As someone with mental health problems, I don't see how he can represent the views of vulnerable people, abuse victims, and those with mental illness.

    Thoughts?
    He had a point, though he could have made it in a slightly less crappy way, I think the full script in context served his point.



    Stephen Fry has earned plenty of respect, so in this instance I'm willing to give this a pass.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Jebedee)
    Those warnings are non-specific. The ones you are talking about would very likely act as spoilers which ruin elements of the movie for others. This might not seem like a big thing for you but it will infringe on other people's ability to enjoy things.
    Except I don't know what type you're talking about? I'm asking for the 'non-specific' general type which warn me that I may experience emotional distress. I'm not asking for someone to tell me the entirety of a plot line, just a little warning at the beginning of something that tells me that an individual may or may not find it distressing for so and so reasons. It's not that hard. I'm in no way trying to infringe on people's abilities to enjoy things.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    He should of never said that. It would have been fine to secretly think that but there are some things that are meant to be kept to ourselves.
    Online

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Jkakr)
    You're supposed to do it in controlled conditions with coping techniques taught to you by a trained psychologist. Not be exposed to it all of a sudden and be caught totally of guard.
    How will you be caught off guard reading Shakespeare? 2 minutes on the Internet and you can find a lot of information out.
    The truth is if you need trigger warnings everywhere you can't function in the world properly and need to get help
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Macy1998)
    He should of never said that. It would have been fine to secretly think that but there are some things that are meant to be kept to ourselves.
    Why are some things meant to be kept to ourselves?

    And what specifically about what he said is so bad it needed to be kept to himself?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by joecphillips)
    How will you be caught off guard reading Shakespeare? 2 minutes on the Internet and you can find a lot of information out.
    The truth is if you need trigger warnings everywhere you can't function in the world properly and need to get help
    It's a much wider issue than Shakespeare.
    I get what you're trying to say, but trigger warnings are to stop emotional distress, in everyday life most people aren't subjected to seeing rape or murder or physical abuse. It's not that hard of a concept. Control what you can in order to make it easier for people to recover fully. It really does not make that much of a difference to your life if someone is warned or given the choice to read something or not. But it does make the difference to that individual.
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Jkakr)
    Except I don't know what type you're talking about? I'm asking for the 'non-specific' general type which warn me that I may experience emotional distress. I'm not asking for someone to tell me the entirety of a plot line, just a little warning at the beginning of something that tells me that an individual may or may not find it distressing for so and so reasons. It's not that hard. I'm in no way trying to infringe on people's abilities to enjoy things.
    Let's be honest here, a non-specific one won't help you at all and you know it. Once you push for that, people will push for more specific ones so they know whether the content will be relevant to their trauma or not. If you're so bothered then you can research a movie before you attempt to watch. Don't expect others to do the heavy lifting on your behalf.
    Online

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by SophieSmall)
    Why are some things meant to be kept to ourselves?

    And what specifically about what he said is so bad it needed to be kept to himself?
    Don't you know feelings supersedes human rights
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by joecphillips)
    Don't you know feelings supersedes human rights
    Oh yes of course, silly me.
    Online

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Jkakr)
    It's a much wider issue than Shakespeare.
    I get what you're trying to say, but trigger warnings are to stop emotional distress, in everyday life most people aren't subjected to seeing rape or murder or physical abuse. It's not that hard of a concept. Control what you can in order to make it easier for people to recover fully. It really does not make that much of a difference to your life if someone is warned or given the choice to read something or not. But it does make the difference to that individual.
    It's not hard to find out what is going to happen in tv programmes before they actually come out and it is the same with movies and books if you are worried don't watch it and ask someone who has if it has occurred.

    What after the trigger warnings on courses? Let people pass without knowing the information? People at Harvard wanted them to stop teaching rape law, what next don't teach student doctors how to deal with a heart attack?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Jebedee)
    Let's be honest here, a non-specific one won't help you at all and you know it. Once you push for that, people will push for more specific ones so they know whether the content will be relevant to their trauma or not. If you're so bothered then you can research a movie before you attempt to watch. Don't expect others to do the heavy lifting on your behalf.
    Except I am being honest and you're making this into a bigger issue than it really needs to be. The type of warnings I'm looking for exist in most movies and shows. Just all of them that include disturbing scenes and it's all good.
    I don't expect others to do 'the heavy lifting', someone who spent months making a movie or show is going to understand what's in it better than I am, so therefore, two seconds of their time to recall whether or not there are disturbing scenes (murder, rape, sexual assault or abuse) really isn't that much considering the time they have already put into the project - and it's not really selfish is it, considering movies/tv shows/books are made for people to enjoy, which we wouldn't if we were subjected to things that would result in a negative emotional reaction.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by SophieSmall)
    Why are some things meant to be kept to ourselves?

    And what specifically about what he said is so bad it needed to be kept to himself?
    If you happen to have an unpopular opinion and be an famous icon, saying things like that will and do cause backlash. It does not look good to say things like that especially when you're a guy like him.

    Abuse victims should grow up? What he said was rude and insensitive. It may not be the worst thing to ever hear out of his mouth but definitely did rile people up.
    People shouldn't blurt out everything on their mind. Do you blurt out everything on your mind? If I was him, I would keep some opinions to myself. Some.
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Macy1998)
    If you happen to have an unpopular opinion and be an famous icon, saying things like that will and do cause backlash. It does not look good to say things like that especially when you're a guy like him.

    Abuse victims should grow up? What he said was rude and insensitive. It may not be the worst thing to ever hear out of his mouth but definitely did rile people up.
    People shouldn't blurt out everything on their mind. Do you blurt out everything on your mind or are you an open book?
    A guy like him?

    Why should backlash matter?

    Should celebrities not have opinions then? Why should they not be able to voice them?

    Did you watch the actual interview? He didn't mean it in that way at all, those words were taken completely out of context in this thread. He wasn't talking about them needing to grow up in terms of getting over their abuse. He was saying people who want to have topics and books and movies ect that contain things such as rape and violence in them banned or censored need to grow up.

    I see no problem in that statement. I think people who want that need to grow up as well.

    The interview was specifically about free speech and he was using an example, hardly "blurting" out.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: April 16, 2016
Poll
Do you agree with the proposed ban on plastic straws and cotton buds?
Useful resources

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.