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Opinions on stay at home girlfriends/wifes? watch

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    (Original post by RivalPlayer)
    You're describing a woman who does a few hours a day in Tesco. I'm talking about the women who try to juggle motherhood with their high powered jobs and career aspirations. The kid ends up losing out.


    Sure if he wants to be a stay at home dad. Although like I said I believe it's more important for a child to have its mother around.
    Can I just point out you're not a woman, you don't know what it's like to be a mother and you never will. Just like how I don't know what its like to be a father. A working woman or a stay at home mum is a great mum if she loves her children and does her best for them. The kid doesn't "lose out" if a mum works, it simply doesn't work like that. A mum is important but in more ways than nurturing and nursing a child, mothers provide a lot for their children. A good mum is a mum who is able to raise a happy and content child.
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    (Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes)
    Can I just point out you're not a woman, you don't know what it's like to be a mother and you never will. Just like how I don't know what its like to be a father. A working woman or a stay at home mum is a great mum if she loves her children and does her best for them. The kid doesn't "lose out" if a mum works, it simply doesn't work like that. A mum is important but in more ways than nurturing and nursing a child, mothers provide a lot for their children. A good mum is a mum who is able to raise a happy and content child.
    How do you know that a kid won't lose out? Do you speak for every single child who has both parents working? Your opinion is essentially boils down to "I never had my mum around and I turned out fine so everyone else in a similar situation will be fine too".

    The less time a mother has to spend with her child, the more difficult it will be to form a close bond.You seem to be indoctrinated with the idea that work trumps everything else in this world - i.e. any idle time a person has should be filled with work for fear of looking lazy. A good mum is more likely to raise a happy and content child if she actually has the time to do that.
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    (Original post by RivalPlayer)
    How do you know that a kid won't lose out? Do you speak for every single child who has both parents working? Your opinion is essentially boils down to "I never had my mum around and I turned out fine so everyone else in a similar situation will be fine too".

    The less time a mother has to spend with her child, the more difficult it will be to form a close bond.You seem to be indoctrinated with the idea that work trumps everything else in this world - i.e. any idle time a person has should be filled with work for fear of looking lazy. A good mum is more likely to raise a happy and content child if she actually has the time to do that.
    Okay fine, perhaps that is a slight flaw I have. But still, whatever makes someone happy right? as I said happy mum equals a happy child. Well in my opinion anyway.
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    Allah stated that it is the greatest honour a woman can have to look after children and the home and as a such he decreed that the value of a woman was worth 5 times the value of a man. When 50 years or so ago western feminism started undoing this gift from god/this perfect biological construct that is when the fabric of english society really started to fall apart. Better for the well being of everyone when men do the physical hard technical work and women the softer skills. There is no need really for women to leave the house if they dont want to, in laws will take of them isn't it.
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    (Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes)
    Okay fine, perhaps that is a slight flaw I have. But still, whatever makes someone happy right? as I said happy mum equals a happy child. Well in my opinion anyway.
    I think we can agree on that.
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    (Original post by Imperion)
    Prenup
    (Original post by donutellme)
    You can get a prenup. Only problem with that is how humiliating it is, cos it shows there's not alot of trust in the relationship.
    Prenups can get thrown out. They need to fulfil a list of criteria and aren't strictly legally binding.

    No thanks.

    The prospect of marriage/divorce worries me.
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    How long have you monitored their relationships? They could just be taking a break from employment or something. Not everyone wants to work like a dog for the rest of their lives ¬_¬
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    (Original post by Straighthate)
    feeding a child and changing their nappies whilst they watch TV is hard work?
    sign me up
    You sound like you'd be a terrible parent.
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    Girlfriend?

    Who am I? Her dad?

    Same goes for wife without kids. With kids, totally different matter. In my opinion the one earning less should stay at home, regardless of gender. However, how long he or she should stay at home is a difficult choice. I firmly believe that at some point daycare or kindergarten is, yes I would go so far to say necessary. You cannot build social intelligence if all you do is stay with your mum/dad til you start school. So I would have no problem saying the primary carer can go work part time at some point and the child can go to playgroup or daycare for some time. But sending them there full time (and from more or less the get go as some people do) is not appropriate either imo. Also think about it this way, children are needy and they don't understand. They won't care that in life you have to work, they will see it as mummy and daddy caring more about their job than them.
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    (Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes)
    Yes because our lives resemble porn.
    I think you'd be surprised how often that does happen.
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    (Original post by Zargabaath)
    imo it should be the complete opposite. If you have kids, you should put their happiness before anything you may want. If you're raising another human life, unable to care for itself and totally dependant on you, it's selfish to compromise on that care for your own selfish wants and desires. Of course not everyone is in that position, but those that are able to should. We live in a very selfish generation, everything's me, me, me, people need to realise you can't raise a kid properly with that attitude.
    I think you misunderstood.

    What is meant with "happy parents = happy children" is that children pick up on emotions. If they pick up that their parents are happy and loving then they will feel happy and loved. If they sense unhappiness and anger they will feel unhappy.
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    (Original post by Straighthate)
    feeding a child and changing their nappies whilst they watch TV is hard work?
    sign me up
    If you think that's all a mother does then you're deluded.

    I probably would find it hard going back to work after having kids just because I'd want to be with them all the time and if as a family we could financially afford for me to be off work for a few years until they are in school then why not.

    My mum and dad worked full-time when I was growing up and although I admire them for it, I used to hate going to after school clubs and stuff like that because they both worked til 5 and I didn't have anyone to pick me up from school. I admire them for it, don't get me wrong, but from a child's perspective, you get jealous of the kids who's parents pick them up from school everyday.
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    (Original post by Mentally)
    I agree it's definately akward and embarrassing then again when she asks for a divorce and then takes the house and the kids you have no right to complain.

    Also these kind of things were much more common in Europe in the past and is still very common in different cultures and religions. E.g in Islam we have something called the 'Nikkah' translating to a marriage contract.
    Yeah I know aha. I'm a Muslim.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
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    I don't think anything is wrong with it. Some women genuinely enjoy house work and taking care of their children 24/7 instead of outside jobs. The only problem I have with it if the husband is demanding the wife to be housewife, and doesn't do anything.
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    Personally, I want to be a stay at home mother/wife and my boyfriend wants that too. Until we start a family of our own, however, I plan on working my ass off as university/career has been my dream for a long time. I don't think it's a bad thing at all to be a stay at home mother/wife. I think if you are stay at home wife/girlfriend without children or other responsibilities, it can be selfish and too reliant on the husband - same goes for stay at home boyfriend/husband.

    I was reading a few of the comments about how stay at home mothers are compared to mothers who work, and in my opinion, mothers who stay at home to look after their children usually end up with children who feel a lot more nurtured and supported on an emotional level. Numerous studies have been done that agree with the positives to both stay at home mothers and working mothers.

    It all boils down to personal opinion and your own relationship/family dynamic/financial capabilities. If you and your partner wish for one of you to stay at home to look after the children, then so be it. Good for them. If you both decide to work after one of you has spent the desired amount of time with the children, then fine. It's up to the relationship and the situation. I don't think anyone should judge people for what they chose to do (stay at home or work) and the husband should not be expecting the wife to stay at home etc unless they both agree it's what they want.
 
 
 
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