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    (Original post by ArabianPhoenix)
    Let's be honest, in this situation OP isn't a child. If he's looking for what appears to be a wife, then clearly he possess full autonomy and I'm more than sure his parents aren't forcing anything upon him!

    Besides that, I agree with your point. Religion needs to be explored by an individual, as opposed to having religion forced upon you.
    Who said I was solely talking about OP? I was actually talking about it generally but that isn't the point. I think that your family looking down on you for not following their religion is just forceful and unfair.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Leah Johnson. Actually now that I re-read what you wrote, I realise that you insulted me.

    Like who are you to judge me?

    Anyone with any common sense can see Islam is not logical.

    I'll do what I want, if I want a hijabi to think that I am still Muslim then I will.

    Regardless of what yo think, your opinion is irrelevant to me.

    Clearly i have more common sense tan you, to know that deceiving a girl and your parents is not okay.

    You can do what you want. I cant force you. But i can point out how stupid you are. you can let her and other people think what you want, but it just shows that even IF you don't have relationship with anyone, it wont go well or wont even last long because you were deceiving her.

    The fact that you think its okay to deceive her makes this even more disgusting.

    My school is full of sh***y boys like you.

    Of course my opinion is irrelevant to someone like you. That's EXACTLY what an ignorant person would say. I was even EXPECTING you to say that to me. I'm okay with that though, because YOUR the one in this messed up situation. your doing this to yourself.

    Have a nice life.
    • #2
    #2

    Leah Johnson

    'i have friends that do harram (forbidden actions), but do i follow them? some talk to guys, but do i feel the need to? no. i tell them off all the time and say: would you like it if you knew your husband had played around before he married you? no right? then why are you doing the same?some wearing revealing clothes, and i proudly walk around with my abaya(long dress). you should know that its is a HUGE fashion it he middle east to show your fringe when wearing a scarf, but i don't.'

    I don't think you realise to the extent of which you are oppressed and indoctrinated. You won't even speak to the opposite sex from fear of going to hell? How have you managed to do that while living in a non muslim country?
    Look, I know that you probably were brought up in fear of God and i do sympathise, i use to know these two girls who were afraid to even ask for help from me in class because of how scared they were of my "haraamness" rubbing off on them but you need to understand that while times progress religion is simply unable to, in todays world no matter how you spin it your precious abaya is a symbol of oppression and draws more attention to a person than just a regular dress with tights or jeans and a tee.

    Also its not a shameful thing to have friends of the opposite sex not every male is just out for sex. Perhaps you should take some time trying to look at religion as a whole from an unbiased point of view and see if your belief system still holds, you sound educated and well spoken enough, I'm sure it won't be much of a feat for you to step out of your comfort zone. And no I'm not taking about taking a couple of shots of vodka and eating a few bacon strips or whatever.
    Just look up the works of Christopher Hitchins or Richard Dawkins. God is not Great is an excellent read and if you can actually find a strong rebuttal to Hitchins argument then at least you will believe because you can logically, not because you were brought up a muslim. Although that will be a feat in my opinion nothing about religion is logical, if it was then there wouldn't be so many skeptics.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Leah Johnson)
    Clearly i have more common sense tan you, to know that deceiving a girl and your parents is not okay.

    You can do what you want. I cant force you. But i can point out how stupid you are. you can let her and other people think what you want, but it just shows that even IF you don't have relationship with anyone, it wont go well or wont even last long because you were deceiving her.

    The fact that you think its okay to deceive her makes this even more disgusting.

    My school is full of sh***y boys like you.

    Of course my opinion is irrelevant to someone like you. That's EXACTLY what an ignorant person would say. I was even EXPECTING you to say that to me. I'm okay with that though, because YOUR the one in this messed up situation. your doing this to yourself.

    Have a nice life.
    you're* seriously. Correct your grammar before you call others stupid
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    :console:

    I see that it is a very sticky situation - in this particular one, you won't feel particularly happy whatever happens. Maybe it's worth holding out for another Muslium girl or.. I guess the most difficult option would be to just forget about your parents and and date who you want/whoever makes you feel happy.
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    (Original post by Londons slickest)
    I agree, but if I end up marrying a westernised girl who doesn't adhere to wearing an hijab or reading of the Q'uran.

    Then I am afraid my family will continue to push me away and shunning me from their lives.

    I have quite a large family and they all pretty much despise me for admitting to being a "kufar".

    I don't know, maybe I should just end it. I don't want to end up living unhappy or depressed after all.
    Your family should accept you for who you are - even if that means not confining to their religious beliefs. I'm the opposite to you - I recently converted to Islam but 1/3 of my family are jewish or anglican the 2/3 irreligious.

    Firstly just because youre disbeliever doesn't mean you're a kufar - kufar does NOT mean disbeliever.

    Secondly, if you want to be happy and live a happy life - which was partly the reason you said in another post you left islam - then you need to speak to your family and tell them to stop shunning you just because you don't believe in a god that they do.

    By trying to 'woo' this girl youre also making her life miserable if in reality you don't really want her. I think it's selfish, it's cruel and it's evil.

    You need to seriously speak to your family and get your issues with them sorted. And there are plenty of westernised muslim girls if you just want to keep to your culture and there are plenty of girls in hijabs who are progressive. Wearing a piece of cloth around your head doesn't make you any less progressive in beliefs similar to how putting on a bikini doesn't make you any less conservative in beliefs.

    Lastly, if you're trolling, which for some reason I suspect you are - :bricks::bootyshake::bong:
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    hilrho No of course I am not trolling. Don't be ridiculous, how is this a "troll thread"?

    But I really don't like you, and your views, so stop quoting me or coming on this thread!!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My family know I have become a "kafir", that's why they look down on me. I didn't even have to tell them, they knew from my actions.

    But this girl is a way for me to prove myself to them. And I will do what I want. So you and the rest of the Muslim community can insult me as much as you want. But I will use this girl to prove to my family that I have changed, and if it doesn't work between me and this girl, I will just find another hijabi.

    So bye.
    Wait. So does the girl know that you are an ex-Muslim or not? I am kinda confused. Are you not going to tell her? And why?
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    (Original post by Londons slickest)
    Anyway the only reason I am pursing this girl is so my parents will be proud of me, and they will think that I've changed and begin loving me again.
    One thing I don't understand is, why do you have to marry a Muslim? So you want your parents to perceive you as a good Muslim in their eyes (that's what I understood from this), but a male Muslim can marry a Christian or a Jewish girl according to the Qur'an. (reference for evidence as I'm no scholar and everything is explained well on the link) https://islamqa.info/en/21380

    I'm sorry if you're parents have a backward mindset and are strict (if not then this will be a lot easier), you could try explaining this to them (that Islamically you can marry someone who is either Christian or Jewish) and look for someone who you actually get along with, who makes you happy and whom you want to spend time with and they will be fine with it.

    It's not my place to tell you what to do, I just thought I'd let you know what I know -- you aren't limited to just Muslim girls; just Muslims, Christians and Jewish girls

    Also, your parents do love you, why do you think they don't?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My friends know and they're open minded about it, they're pretty amazing tbh. I can have open conversations with my muslim friends and they never judge, we've had pretty heated discussions before but it always ends in laughter with no hard feelings. Some people who know do judge but I tend to avoid the word atheist and just stick to laying myself as an agnostic. I know i shouldn't care what others think but its hard and i feel a weird sort of guilt when they look at me all like 'wtf is WRONG with you?' I suppose they can't help being so close minded but it is irritating af at the same time. No one in my family knows the full extent of my lack of belief but they do know that i have a tendency to ask 'but why' a thousand times

    I know that London is suppose to have a really strong Muslim community, at least thats what i know from my cousins who live in East London (I'm from Manchester btw) so maybe its just the community you're living in? What caused you to become an atheist?
    Oh okay that's interesting, do you think you will ever be able to finally reveal to your family that you are an apostate. Or do you think you will keep it hidden?

    There are sooo many reasons as to why I felt Islam is not for me.

    But when I finally decided to do my own research and dwell into why I believe. I came to the conclusion that the Q'uran is a book full of contradiction , oppression to females, and I also felt god had the characteristics of a revengeful human being rather than an all forgiving god.

    I used to be quite pious prior to being a apostate. I am actually agnostic, I choose to believe in a god just not mad made religions.

    By the way my account got banned for arguing with fellow Muslims on other threads. They seem to despise me.
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    (Original post by h333)
    Wait. So does the girl know that you are an ex-Muslim or not? I am kinda confused. Are you not going to tell her? And why?
    No I won't. Because it will just defeat the purpose as to why I am pursing her in the first place. Why tell her? when she herself is already concrete in her belief. That would be me shooting myself in the foot.

    It's a pretence, I have told no-one as yet that I am an ex-Muslim, apart from TSR.
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    (Original post by London Slickest)
    No I won't. Because it will just defeat the purpose as to why I am pursing her in the first place. Why tell her? when she herself is already concrete in her belief. That would be me shooting myself in the foot.

    It's a pretence, I have told no-one as yet that I am an ex-Muslim, apart from TSR.
    But honestly do you not think that it is playing with someone's life. Be honest. I don't want to judge you as I do not know you. But be very careful as hiding something like can be no joke to some people and can land one in complex situations with severe consequences.

    All I am saying is that starting any type of a relationship with a lie or pretence is not really the right way. Hope you understand.
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    (Original post by Londons slickest)
    I've been seeing this really pious Muslim girl, we are not in a relationship. Because that's haram, But we both like each other, everything was cool between us.

    But the only problem is that she doesn't know I am a ex-Muslim, and basically she makes my world black and white, her personality is bland and her life revolves around her doctrine.

    She don't even listen to Music, because she doesn't approve of the explicit lyrics which might insinuate "sexual thoughts".

    So one day we were in the car and sitting in traffic in pure silence. So I started getting irritated and incredibly bored, and felt slightly mischievous.

    Soooo I switched on the radio, and had a random outburst and started skanking/dancing to P Money a grime artist on full blast. She was shocked looked at me like I was mad.

    Anyway the next day I called her that evening and the conversation was getting tiresome, so I felt mischievous again and began blatantly asking x-rated questions, she was gasping acting horrified by my sudden change in behaviour and said she didn't want to be with me any more. So I "apologised" and told I was going to change and begin reading the Q'uran everyday, and would stop my rebellious ways.

    And since then she doesn't pick up my calls, and ignores my texts. I am apprehensive she doesn't want me any more.

    What do I do to get her to like me again?

    Anyway the only reason I am pursing this girl is so my parents will be proud of me, and they will think that I've changed and begin loving me again.

    I just don't know if me and this girl work especially considering I am quite rebellious and love breaking rules.
    just saying, in my opinion you sound great

    I guess just try and talk to her, but it seems like you're only pursuing her to please ur parents
    when u said ur going to read qur'an was that just for her or for urself??
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    (Original post by h333)
    But honestly do you not think that it is playing with someone's life. Be honest. I don't want to judge you as I do not know you. But be very careful as hiding something like can be no joke to some people and can land one in complex situations with severe consequences.

    All I am saying is that starting any type of a relationship with a lie or pretence is not really the right way. Hope you understand.
    I completely understand. I will eventually tell her that I am in fact an "apostate", I won't always keep this a secret from her, as I know morally it is wrong to lie to someone like this, especially if you are looking to form a relationship.

    At the beginning of our friendship I was a strong believer, but it's only of recent that I've started losing my faith, so it will be very hard for me to suddenly tell her "I am a kafir", as I've known her since childhood, and she's always known me to be pious like her.

    And I am glad you are not judging me from this thread like most Muslims on here are.

    You seem to be a lot more open minded and mature I respect that.
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    (Original post by ThatGurl)
    just saying, in my opinion you sound great

    I guess just try and talk to her, but it seems like you're only pursuing her to please ur parents
    when u said ur going to read qur'an was that just for her or for urself??
    Yes I do want to please my family, but at the same time I do genuinely care about her and I am not just "using her". My parents have always been fond of her, so I just want to make them proud.

    And to be honest I said it "for her", just so she would feel at ease knowing that I am trying to change and follow the "deen". But I've tried to accept Islam but my morale beliefs just won't allow it, plus Islam makes life rather boring. :/
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    (Original post by London Slickest)
    Yes I do want to please my family, but at the same time I do genuinely care about her and I am not just "using her". My parents have always been fond of her, so I just want to make them proud.

    And to be honest I said it "for her", just so she would feel at ease knowing that I am trying to change and follow the "deen". But I've tried to accept Islam but my morale beliefs just won't allow it, plus Islam makes life rather boring. :/
    so you do care for her but do you both have the same kind of feelings for each other? I rly wouldn't drag her along just to please your parents tbh. If she was horrified at the music thing I doubt she's going to want to be with you if she can't get over a bit of music??

    you rly should talk to her about whether she's willing to be with someone who doesnt follow islam like she does
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    (Original post by London Slickest)
    I completely understand. I will eventually tell her that I am in fact an "apostate", I won't always keep this a secret from her, as I know morally it is wrong to lie to someone like this, especially if you are looking to form a relationship.

    At the beginning of our friendship I was a strong believer, but it's only of recent that I've started losing my faith, so it will be very hard for me to suddenly tell her "I am a kafir", as I've known her since childhood, and she's always known me to be pious like her.

    And I am glad you are not judging me from this thread like most Muslims on here are.

    You seem to be a lot more open minded and mature I respect that.
    Aww thanks brother. Really appreciate that you did not take it offensive. And I am sure other Muslims did not intend to judge you but appeared so or maybe really don't understand your situation.

    And I hope you do not lose respect from the girl In Shaa Allah. But thing is that if you do truly respect her then you will tell her beforehand and not keep her in the dark. As it could be way worse if she does decide to marry you in the future etc.

    You said you have recently started losing faith. I pray to Allah that he shows you the right path Ameen (Don't worry I am only wishing you good). I try my best to follow the good behaviour and teachings of our beloved prophet (pbuh).

    Also remember this, those that have the worse pasts may have the best future. Hence, I can not judge saying oh your a bad person and I am good etc.

    Last thing I would like to say is that, do not do something to prove yourself to people by using others but use yourself. I believe that one especially proves themselves as worthy of respect good etc when they strive to give happiness to others as they would like for themselves and not distress. Trust me you will feel a lot more better inside and out.

    London. Slickest
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    (Original post by ThatGurl)
    so you do care for her but do you both have the same kind of feelings for each other? I rly wouldn't drag her along just to please your parents tbh. If she was horrified at the music thing I doubt she's going to want to be with you if she can't get over a bit of music??

    you rly should talk to her about whether she's willing to be with someone who doesnt follow islam like she does
    Yes you're right, I have contemplated just giving up and letting her go, and I highly doubt she'd be with an apostate.


    But I'll never know unless I try, I can't keep living a lie it's not morally right, she has to find out.

    I guess it's a pride thing, knowing you proved your family wrong and I will be able to walk with my head up high.
    • #7
    #7

    (Original post by Londons slickest)
    I've been seeing this really pious Muslim girl, we are not in a relationship. Because that's haram, But we both like each other, everything was cool between us.

    But the only problem is that she doesn't know I am a ex-Muslim, and basically she makes my world black and white, her personality is bland and her life revolves around her doctrine.

    She don't even listen to Music, because she doesn't approve of the explicit lyrics which might insinuate "sexual thoughts".

    So one day we were in the car and sitting in traffic in pure silence. So I started getting irritated and incredibly bored, and felt slightly mischievous.

    Soooo I switched on the radio, and had a random outburst and started skanking/dancing to P Money a grime artist on full blast. She was shocked looked at me like I was mad.

    Anyway the next day I called her that evening and the conversation was getting tiresome, so I felt mischievous again and began blatantly asking x-rated questions, she was gasping acting horrified by my sudden change in behaviour and said she didn't want to be with me any more. So I "apologised" and told I was going to change and begin reading the Q'uran everyday, and would stop my rebellious ways.

    And since then she doesn't pick up my calls, and ignores my texts. I am apprehensive she doesn't want me any more.

    What do I do to get her to like me again?

    Anyway the only reason I am pursing this girl is so my parents will be proud of me, and they will think that I've changed and begin loving me again.

    I just don't know if me and this girl work especially considering I am quite rebellious and love breaking rules.


    the only one thing you can't understand it is that (when a Muslim girl or non-muslim girl love you she will keep u away from risk and disaster, because she love u)and because she love u she wan't u to safe ur life and go to Jannah and that sit i hope you understand it moreover, for everyone talk about ISLAM it just don't believe what u heard and see on T.V they are a lire they want to make people hate Muslim people becuase they do not want people to believe in Islam the religion of truth, justice and peace
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    the only one thing you can't understand it is that (when a Muslim girl or non-muslim girl love you she will keep u away from risk and disaster, because she love u)and because she love u she wan't u to safe ur life and go to Jannah and that sit i hope you understand it moreover, for everyone talk about ISLAM it just don't believe what u heard and see on T.V they are a lire they want to make people hate Muslim people becuase they do not want people to believe in Islam the religion of truth, justice and peace
    So you think she is trying to save me from entering the hell fire?

    But how, listening to something minor like music shouldn't be a reason why I'll enter jahannam. I understand that the lyrics probably evoke certain thoughts.

    But I don't see how that shows that she cares.

    But you might be right, and she probably is thinking about what is best for me.:dontknow:
 
 
 
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