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My friend is dating a 52 year old guy. What should I do? watch

  • View Poll Results: Should I tell her parents?
    Yes, she will than you for it.
    77
    63.11%
    No, don't breach her trust.
    45
    36.89%

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    nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope
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    nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope
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    Grim
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    To reiterate what others have said. If there is no abuse then it's really none of your business interfering. Your friend is old enough to make her own decisions.
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    (Original post by Josb)
    Read the OP again.
    Point proven.
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    She won't thank you but don't be a pussy and do it nevertheless!
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    I'm really disappointed with some of the judgemental replies on this thread. Many of you talk as if a woman was seeing someone her own age, there would be absolutely no prospect of a male partner wanting to use a woman for sex. That's *******s.

    Eta: sometimes it takes an older man to be able to give a woman what she wants.

    Op, if you tell her parents and they hold the same prejudices as yourself, you could cause your friend problems that she was trying to avoid by not telling her parents herself in the first place. Your friend is clearly an intelligent woman. If she's not in danger and is a consenting adult, who are you to decide to behave in a way that could put her in a compromising position.
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    (Original post by beautifulbigmacs)
    Point proven.
    What point?
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    She is 19 which means two things:
    a - she is legally an adult and can do what the fudge she wants
    b - she is still a teenager so the chances of this lasting for more than a couple of years are pretty slim. She isn't likely to be a 35 year old widow/nursemaid.
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    Daddy issues...
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    (Original post by the bear)
    this is well out of order... dating an old impoverished geezer... what on earth is going on ?????

    smh
    she probably plans to marry him, get insurance then kill him that must be worth a few grand at least
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    Apologies for replying late.

    My friend's sister replied but I don't know what's going to happen. She says that she suspected something was wrong because she has been disconnected from the family since she started uni last year in a different city. Apparently she didn't even come to her mum's birthday earlier in the month despite finishing her exams. She said she even barely responds to texts or calls.

    Now that was fine.But the next bit scared me. She said she is going to tell her dad (he is a hothead and he is not on the best terms with my his daughter/my friend, I don't know they always clashed same personality and all that.) She said she was going to do this because her sister/my friend won't listen to her or even her own mum. She is worried. I know.

    But she assured me that she wouldn't bring me into it or name drop me.I'm so scared now I regret ever opening my big mouth, I have no idea what my friend's dad is going to do to her or to the man.

    I told the sister because I knew they were close through school and whenever I went over to their's but I had no idea that they weren't really talking.

    Should I text my friend to give her a heads up?
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    Text your friend. She needs to be prepared and she also needs to know that she can't trust you.
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    (Original post by beautifulbigmacs)
    Text your friend. She needs to be prepared and she also needs to know that she can't trust you.
    I did this to protect her. I did this because I care. I've tried calling but she is not answering. Her dad couldn't have gotten hold of her this fast and anyway they are in different cities.

    You're biased because you're into older men. I don't understand it but I don't condemn your choices but I have a right to try to help my friend.
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    Are you sure her family don't know?

    It would be awkward af to go to tell them if they already know...
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    (Original post by Kylie Jenner)
    I did this to protect her. I did this because I care. I've tried calling but she is not answering. Her dad couldn't have gotten hold of her this fast and anyway they are in different cities.

    You're biased because you're into older men. I don't understand it but I don't condemn your choices but I have a right to try to help my friend.
    Keep us updated. I hope everything works out okay for everyone.
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    (Original post by Kylie Jenner)
    I did this to protect her. I did this because I care. I've tried calling but she is not answering. Her dad couldn't have gotten hold of her this fast and anyway they are in different cities.

    You're biased because you're into older men. I don't understand it but I don't condemn your choices but I have a right to try to help my friend.
    She still can't trust you. You decided you knew the situation better than she does, and you betrayed her. That is a fact, not an opinion, so don't try to argue it.
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    (Original post by Ambre)
    if this guy was half decent and had any sense of responsibility he wouldn't be fooling around with a 19 year old girl, especially bearing in mind that she's around his daughters' ages (wouldn't that weigh on him as a parent?)

    But there's a genuine possibility that they're both on the same level despite the age difference and actually like each other (some people don't grow up, they just grow old); those kinds of pairings are unusual but do sometimes happen (they're just not socially acceptable anymore).

    Also it may not last because whilst they might have fun together it could be impractical in the long term (can you imagine them still together in 10 year's time? She'd have to tell all her family first..)

    Then again I don't know what kind of person she is- it's possible that they really are serious, and it helps to be open minded about the diversity of human relationships. Who's to say (apart from society but they may be wrong) that you can only love someone within a certain age range?

    Having attempted an objective stance towards their relationship I admit it's harder when it's your friend that you're close to and that you may think of being similar to you- maybe you thought she'd never be that kind of person.
    I'd also find the 43 year age gap quite daunting, but anything's possible. There's also the yuck factor, and the whole taboo of daddy issues surrounding their relationship (which is not exactly normal.)
    They're probably not doing anything wrong, especially if she's confident like you say and able to stand up for herself, and they have been dating for a while. Keep in mind that she's a consenting adult and no longer a child so it's her responsibility and her choice. Talk to your other friends about it and your siblings, and get more opinions. If you really are worried that it's unhealthy you should approach one of her siblings first, the one that she's closest to, rather than her parents. Good luck, I hope that everything works out for you and your friend.
    she is 19, he is 52.... she would have to be 9 for the age gap to be 43 years :holmes:
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    (Original post by Kylie Jenner)
    She said she is going to tell her dad (he is a hothead and he is not on the best terms with my his daughter/my friend, I don't know they always clashed same personality and all that.) She said she was going to do this because her sister/my friend won't listen to her or even her own mum. She is worried. I know.

    ...I have no idea what my friend's dad is going to do to her or to the man.
    ...Well done?
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    this woman has daddy issues and anyone who says otherwise has them also
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    (Original post by the bear)
    she is 19, he is 52.... she would have to be 9 for the age gap to be 43 years :holmes:
    Oh yeah soz 😂 Good thing you spotted that
 
 
 
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