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Family want to set me up with cousin? Watch

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    Easy answer, Tell your parents youd like to meet the girl and see how shes like, get your parents onboard nad other family so it looks like youve not made a decision yet, call her for 2-3 times, meet up once then come home and tell your parents that she's this this and that, and so you feel like she wont suit you, thank them and then walk out. If you tell them you dont like her they will think youre not open minded and then they'll start thinking for you which is a bad thing, so give it a shot if it does or doesn't workout then youve got the morale high ground, just keep calm about it
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    (Original post by CTID17)
    Easy answer, Tell your parents youd like to meet the girl and see how shes like, get your parents onboard nad other family so it looks like youve not made a decision yet, call her for 2-3 times, meet up once then come home and tell your parents that she's this this and that, and so you feel like she wont suit you, thank them and then walk out. If you tell them you dont like her they will think youre not open minded and then they'll start thinking for you which is a bad thing, so give it a shot if it does or doesn't workout then youve got the morale high ground, just keep calm about it
    This would be useful advice if he hadn't already met her and told his family he doesn't like her, but is being bullied into the situation by extended family anyway.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm 21 and my grandparents and aunts and uncles keep trying to set me up with my cousin, and I'm totally weirded out by it.

    She's not my cousin cousin - I think she's my "second cousin once removed" if I've worked it out properly. I'm not even attracted to her in the slightest, yet her parents seem to have been doing the matchmaking without my knowledge so when I went to some family reunion a couple of weeks ago, all of a sudden there was this random girl trying to get all over me, who it turns out "is who we've all been telling you about." It was really uncomfortable, and now she's practically stalking me. It's almost as if I've somehow ended up in this committed relationship without even knowing it, and people are confused angry that I haven't returned her (many, MANY calls), as if I'm some guy who keeps avoiding his wife to sneak off and have affairs. I've only been in the same room as her once, and even that was spent making as much conversation with everyone BUT her as possible.

    So I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place and I've no bloody idea what to do. Mainly I want to pack my bags, move to the Alaskan wilderness and hide for the rest of my life. Or am I the one being weird, and it's completely normal to date your second cousin?

    In my books, it's a major no-go area and creeps me out. Help!
    assuming you are a muslim, you do know the qur'an does mention about both sides needing to consent before marriage (if it is more to do with culture, then it can be problematic as some cultures are xenophobic / only want people from their culture or family). If you dont want to marry her just tell your familia you dont want to marry her.
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    (Original post by quasa)
    assuming you are a muslim, you do know the qur'an does mention about both sides needing to consent before marriage (if it is more to do with culture, then it can be problematic as some cultures are xenophobic / only want people from their culture or family). If you dont want to marry her just tell your familia you dont want to marry her.
    For the last damn time, I'm not a muslim, none of my family are muslim, I have never mentioned anything to do with religion at any point in this thread. Apart from to say, a couple of times, the exact same thing: Islam has nothing at all to do with this conversation.

    To assume makes an ass[/b] out of u and me.

    (Original post by Elivercury)
    So is there any update on this? Any joy OP?
    I started to lose track of this thread as soon as it became just another TSR muslim argument.

    They've sent me plans of the house they're going to build for us on the farm. Also, they want to know when I'm going to propose.

    Cousin is still smitten over me, despite having only met me briefly once. She sent chocolates and a Father's Day card with "To the best dad in the future" written on the inside.

    She's like the stereotypical crazy ex girlfriend who can't let go... except in this case, she was never my girlfriend in the first place. To be honest, I'm just burying my head in the sand and trying to ignore it.

    I wonder if I said I was gay...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I started to lose track of this thread as soon as it became just another TSR muslim argument.

    They've sent me plans of the house they're going to build for us on the farm. Also, they want to know when I'm going to propose.

    Cousin is still smitten over me, despite having only met me briefly once. She sent chocolates and a Father's Day card with "To the best dad in the future" written on the inside.

    She's like the stereotypical crazy ex girlfriend who can't let go... except in this case, she was never my girlfriend in the first place. To be honest, I'm just burying my head in the sand and trying to ignore it.

    I wonder if I said I was gay...
    Fair, it has turned into that (and I'm somewhat guilty also).

    That sounds rough! I really wouldn't bury your head as I imagine that's a quick way to ending up married!

    Do you live at home? Could you move out?

    I would seriously start considering nuclear options such as telling her you're gay or something...

    I'm not even sure what to suggest given you've apparently already told her you've no interest in her and she just said she'll grow on you.

    If you've a close female friend you could do a fake engagement? Write to her saying that your heart belongs to another and that you plan to marry her. Wish her the best of luck in the future and tell her you'll bring your future children to visit their cousin at some point.

    I suspect that an engagement to a woman is more likely to be taken seriously rather than a sudden coming out when faced with an undesirable woman.

    Good luck, I hope you manage to stay single!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Nobody I can trust on my dad's side apart from another cousin who's a bit of a breakaway - he's one of the first in our generation to want to leave the village and actually go to university and pursue a career. But nobody takes him seriously. They think he's just gay/mentally unstable/deluded/rebellious/selfish for not wanting to keep living at the farms.
    You might want to contact this guy. Just sayin.
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    (Original post by Another)
    You might want to contact this guy. Just sayin.
    He's got about as much pull as I have. His mum threw him out the house for applying to uni because it was a "betrayal".
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He's got about as much pull as I have. His mum threw him out the house for applying to uni because it was a "betrayal".
    I don't think the point was for him to speak up on your behalf. I think it was to follow his lead, break away and possibly live with him if necessary.
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    Just do it!!! Dont let your dreams be dreams!!
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    You should return her gifts. You should also tell your family members they can happily build the house but only for the crazy. Tell them if they force you you will run away (even if you don't want to). By the way SORRY for changing the topic of your thread.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm 21 and my grandparents and aunts and uncles keep trying to set me up with my cousin, and I'm totally weirded out by it.

    She's not my cousin cousin - I think she's my "second cousin once removed" if I've worked it out properly. I'm not even attracted to her in the slightest, yet her parents seem to have been doing the matchmaking without my knowledge so when I went to some family reunion a couple of weeks ago, all of a sudden there was this random girl trying to get all over me, who it turns out "is who we've all been telling you about." It was really uncomfortable, and now she's practically stalking me. It's almost as if I've somehow ended up in this committed relationship without even knowing it, and people are confused angry that I haven't returned her (many, MANY calls), as if I'm some guy who keeps avoiding his wife to sneak off and have affairs. I've only been in the same room as her once, and even that was spent making as much conversation with everyone BUT her as possible.

    So I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place and I've no bloody idea what to do. Mainly I want to pack my bags, move to the Alaskan wilderness and hide for the rest of my life. Or am I the one being weird, and it's completely normal to date your second cousin?

    In my books, it's a major no-go area and creeps me out. Help!

    get the girl to send you nudes, which she will if she is so obsessed with you. and then blackmail her by threatening to expose it on the internet and then show her parents. that should get her off your back. you could say she sent these pictures to your best friend and get him in on it too.
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    (Original post by LOU_Mitchell)
    get the girl to send you nudes, which she will if she is so obsessed with you. and then blackmail her by threatening to expose it on the internet and then show her parents. that should get her off your back. you could say she sent these pictures to your best friend and get him in on it too.
    You're aware that is illegal right?

    Although getting married would be difficult from prison, so it does kinda help the OP...I guess.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm 21 and my grandparents and aunts and uncles keep trying to set me up with my cousin, and I'm totally weirded out by it.

    She's not my cousin cousin - I think she's my "second cousin once removed" if I've worked it out properly. I'm not even attracted to her in the slightest, yet her parents seem to have been doing the matchmaking without my knowledge so when I went to some family reunion a couple of weeks ago, all of a sudden there was this random girl trying to get all over me, who it turns out "is who we've all been telling you about." It was really uncomfortable, and now she's practically stalking me. It's almost as if I've somehow ended up in this committed relationship without even knowing it, and people are confused angry that I haven't returned her (many, MANY calls), as if I'm some guy who keeps avoiding his wife to sneak off and have affairs. I've only been in the same room as her once, and even that was spent making as much conversation with everyone BUT her as possible.

    So I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place and I've no bloody idea what to do. Mainly I want to pack my bags, move to the Alaskan wilderness and hide for the rest of my life. Or am I the one being weird, and it's completely normal to date your second cousin?

    In my books, it's a major no-go area and creeps me out. Help!
    A child of a sibling of a grandparent?
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    i rely wish my fam would set me up with cuzzin she's very sexi anonymouse you're luckee
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    Simple, restraining order.
 
 
 
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