Crisis 05 – Terror Attack at Canary Wharf

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    A ****ing lorry :toofunny:
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    (Original post by Imperion)
    A ****ing lorry :toofunny:
    Stop laughing! It was apparently “heavily modified so that it could reach 80 mph on Richmond Terrace”:laugh:
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    (Original post by Life_peer)
    Stop laughing! It was apparently “heavily modified so that it could reach 80 mph on Richmond Terrace”:laugh:
    Also had anal-seeking missiles.
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    Ah FFS, this is a very good potential crisis, rather than nit-picking silly minor points you should accept the scenario (by all means, enquire as to HOW the terrorists breached it, but accept the possibility) This gives being anally retentive a new meaning, appropriate considering the initial idea for this scenario.
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    (Original post by That Bearded Man)
    Ah FFS, this is a very good potential crisis, rather than nit-picking silly minor points you should accept the scenario (by all means, enquire as to HOW the terrorists breached it, but accept the possibility) This gives being anally retentive a new meaning, appropriate considering the initial idea for this scenario.
    If you can show us a lorry capable of doing that which wouldn't have drawn suspicion weeks before feel free, until then it is absurd and can easily be ignored.

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    (Original post by That Bearded Man)
    Ah FFS, this is a very good potential crisis, rather than nit-picking silly minor points you should accept the scenario (by all means, enquire as to HOW the terrorists breached it, but accept the possibility) This gives being anally retentive a new meaning, appropriate considering the initial idea for this scenario.
    I'd really love to see the (Ex-)Prime Minister and (Ex-)Labour Party Leader react to a crisis in which he's murdered by a bunch of cross-dimensional time-traveling beings, the rest of the UK is getting wiped out by one of those Pacific Rim monsters; luckily, Uncle Sam sends Johnny Five with a quantum computer to help out, but the instructions are written in American English so no one can figure out how to use it.
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    (Original post by Life_peer)
    I'd really love to see the (Ex-)Prime Minister and (Ex-)Labour Party Leader react to a crisis in which he's murdered by a bunch of cross-dimensional time-traveling beings, the rest of the UK is getting wiped out by one of those Pacific Rim monsters; luckily, Uncle Sam sends Johnny Five with a quantum computer to help out, but the instructions are written in American English so no one can figure out how to use it.
    See, difference is I would, I'd clarify what the monsters can and can't do, but with rules set I'd answer the questions and continue the scenario, because it's very existence is to challenge the government, thank God if terrorists ever take Downing Street we can simply ignore them because based on what we understand it can't happen
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    (Original post by That Bearded Man)
    See, difference is I would, I'd clarify what the monsters can and can't do, but with rules set I'd answer the questions and continue the scenario, because it's very existence is to challenge the government, thank God if terrorists ever take Downing Street we can simply ignore them because based on what we understand it can't happen
    Erm, you'd be dead.
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    (Original post by Life_peer)
    Erm, you'd be dead.
    How is the Right Honourable Gentleman? Did your limbs get blown up or not?
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    (Original post by SoggyCabbages)
    How is the Right Honourable Gentleman? Did your limbs get blown up or not?
    I thought he got a ruptured rectum?
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    (Original post by Quamquam123)
    I thought he got a ruptured rectum?
    Not quite sure where those people who reported that got their information from, but I had a very good meeting with our Minister Prime regarding Education Policies, and the Statement of Intent. I can assure you that his rectum isn't ruptured, and that he is in very good health!
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    (Original post by mobbsy91)
    Not quite sure where those people who reported that got their information from, but I had a very good meeting with our Minister Prime regarding Education Policies, and the Statement of Intent. I can assure you that his rectum isn't ruptured, and that he is in very good health!
    I heard the Prime Minister's coalition partners ruptured his rectum with their intense brown-nosing?
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    (Original post by SoggyCabbages)
    I heard the Prime Minister's coalition partners ruptured his rectum with their intense brown-nosing?
    Well, it would be quite a brown nose if they were doing things down in the rectum perhaps, but alas, unless they sneaked in a meeting after we'd had a good meeting, his rectum is in quite good health! I must say, after hearing what I can only presume to be excellent policies, he was rather perky in fact!
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    I....

    Wha-

    Well...

    I'm also on holiday, it's gone midnight and I need sleep, so when I've arrived home I'll... look at this.....?

    Yeah, that sounds convincing.
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    Would the government and the cc accept an amended crisis which was more plausible?
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    (Original post by Kay_Winters)
    Would the government and the cc accept an amended crisis which was more plausible?
    The government have been instructed to work with these facts:

    1. A lorry pulls up outside 8 Canada Square in Canary Wharf, and an unknown number of masked men armed with machine guns and bulletproof vests storm into the building, shooting anyone in site while yelling: "Allahu Akbar!"

    2. Another lorry begins driving down the Victoria Embankment at a very high speed, running over pedestrians. The lorry swerves to hit as many people as it can.

    3. 10 hostages have been shot at Canary Wharf.

    If that would be the amended crisis, then yes.

    Oh, and the whole bloody area around Number 10 is on strict lockdown and under protection of the Chief Mouser so don't try to destroy it, you CC wan*ers.
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    (Original post by Life_peer)
    The government have been instructed to work with these facts:

    1. A lorry pulls up outside 8 Canada Square in Canary Wharf, and an unknown number of masked men armed with machine guns and bulletproof vests storm into the building, shooting anyone in site while yelling: "Allahu Akbar!"

    2. Another lorry begins driving down the Victoria Embankment at a very high speed, running over pedestrians. The lorry swerves to hit as many people as it can.

    3. 10 hostages have been shot at Canary Wharf.

    If that would be the amended crisis, then yes.

    Oh, and the whole bloody area around Number 10 is on strict lockdown and under protection of the Chief Mouser so don't try to destroy it, you CC wan*ers.
    Maybe if the PM was uncontactable however for unrelated reasons so the DPM was still the one who had to reply?
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    (Original post by Kay_Winters)
    Maybe if the PM was uncontactable however for unrelated reasons so the DPM was still the one who had to reply?
    Do you want to roast him or what? Although I'm annoyed by the fact that the CC think they can dictate who's taking the shots, which they can't, I wouldn't mind stepping aside this time since I'm not eager to spend my evenings dealing with UU's narcissistic delusions.

    We've just been discussing that the next crisis—if there is one—could be his while myself and the Chief Mouser would be taking a trip to the ISS. If that's an acceptable scenario to you and the CC, PetrosAC can be the Acting PM for the purposes of this crisis if he wants.

    Needless to say, the building stays untouched (along with other landmarks of similar importance that are well-protected, i.e. don't think of targeting Her Majesty). It survived Nazi strategic bombing as well as that bloody IRA, and it definitely won't be destroyed by some fanatical goat****ers.
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    (Original post by Life_peer)
    Do you want to roast him or what? Although I'm annoyed by the fact that the CC think they can dictate who's taking the shots, which they can't, I wouldn't mind stepping aside this time since I'm not eager to spend my evenings dealing with UU's narcissistic delusions.

    We've just been discussing that the next crisis—if there is one—could be his while myself and the Chief Mouser would be taking a trip to the ISS. If that's an acceptable scenario to you and the CC, PetrosAC can be the Acting PM for the purposes of this crisis if he wants.
    Personally I just think it is an interesting spin on it to have the deputy have to call the shots, which is part of the crisis I quite I liked, adds to the story element. As for the cc, I am starting to think that as a whole maybe something needs to happen if it stays. I'm not a rep on it but perhaps some kind of plausibility clause needs to be introduced and upheld by the speaker
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    (Original post by Kay_Winters)
    Personally I just think it is an interesting spin on it to have the deputy have to call the shots, which is part of the crisis I quite I liked, adds to the story element. As for the cc, I am starting to think that as a whole maybe something needs to happen if it stays. I'm not a rep on it but perhaps some kind of plausibility clause needs to be introduced and upheld by the speaker
    I don't think any one of us is physically capable of staying impartial. Perhaps it's best to draft a crisis, present it to the government, and then argue which parts should be left out and why. I think we've successfully shown why an attack on Number 10 such as the one described by the CC wouldn't succeed and future governments can do the same.

    So again, you can have Petros if the CC accept our fairly plausible version of the scenario; in that case, Mr. Whiskers and I are currently up there in space—if you want to have some fun at my expense, I suspect the jobless mouser has been pissing into my vacuum tube.
 
 
 
Updated: August 14, 2016
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