I've lost my self, I feel like i made a big mistake

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    (Original post by MrsSheldonCooper)
    And yet you were saying that if girls didn't wear a hijab they would get used and abused by men?
    Which is what exactly is happening nowadays its about time people open their eyes to be aware of certain situations
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    (Original post by MiszShortee786)
    Which is what exactly is happening nowadays its about time people open their eyes to be aware of certain situations
    And ladies and gentleman, you have the perfect example of a brainwashed user who needs feminism bad
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    (Original post by MrsSheldonCooper)
    And ladies and gentleman, you have the perfect example of a brainwashed user who needs feminism bad
    Hah! rasing issues of people suffering abroad is me becoming brainwashed? Or you guys who watch the stupid media Islamophobia and believing every word for it? Please check over the defination of brainwashing before utilsing it please
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    (Original post by senoritatimaa)
    Women are taught that too...but

    Allah (swt) made Adam (as) -(man) with clay. Allah sent prophet Adam(as) in paradise, now Adam (as) was feeling lonely and he made dua to Allah (swt) to send some company. Thereafter Allah (swt) made Hawa (as). Hawa (as) was made from the rib of Adam (as). In Islam Allah made women weak,and men strong. Allah commands men to protect women...
    Women were created from the rib of man to be beside him, not from his head to top him, nor from his feet to be trampled by him, but from under his arm to be protected by him, near to his heart to be loved by him.
    Because women are delicate they have to be covered in a certain way, hijab is not about oppression but freedom from evil eyes.
    Yay, fundamental sexism

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    (Original post by MiszShortee786)
    Hah! rasing issues of people suffering abroad is me becoming brainwashed? Or you guys who watch the stupid media Islamophobia and believing every word for it? Please check over the defination of brainwashing before utilsing it please
    And according to you it's to do with what they wear?

    I'm sorry but surely watching preaching videos is stupid media also?

    Yup Islamophobic and proud. Problem?
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    (Original post by senoritatimaa)
    one day, i hope
    Saudi Arabia is one of the worst countries on earth

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    (Original post by MrsSheldonCooper)
    And according to you it's to do with what they wear?

    I'm sorry but surely watching preaching videos is stupid media also?

    Yup Islamophobic and proud. Problem?
    Nothing got to do with appearances whatsoever. Preaching videos that gives you true knowledge in advance? Oh sorry you're too ignorant to realise that.
    #4

    (Original post by senoritatimaa)
    one day, i hope
    I'm Muslim and even I wouldn't say that
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    (Original post by MiszShortee786)
    Nothing got to do with appearances whatsoever. Preaching videos that gives you true knowledge in advance? Oh sorry you're too ignorant to realise that.
    Knowledge in a fairytale yes.

    Oh that's ironic. You make all the nice Muslims on here look bad you know. I feel sorry for them.
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    (Original post by MiszShortee786)
    Oh thats funny I didn't realise that majority of the Muslims on TSR relied on me


    And you are so ignorant I actually DONT feel sorry for you.
    You're ignorant of normal human decency

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    (Original post by RobML)
    You're ignorant of normal human decency

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    Thanks for that I was not aware that I have such high reputation on TSR!
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    for those asking;
    yes - i enjoyed the night
    no - i don't believe the hijab is compulsory
    no - i don't want to wear it
    check my post i left earlier here http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show...8&postcount=64 for more details

    i feel guilt because my parents trusted me, i told them i wouldnt mess up. they were going to pull me out for this very reason - not even, for *speculation* that i would do such a thing but i reassured them and convinced them to let me go back. i got angry, that they put me through **** based on their speculations, and figured since im getting punished for something i didnt do i might as well do it.

    but i still feel guilty. i still feel scared and judged and like a failure because everyone told my parents dont let her move out you'll lose your daughter and i proved them right. and that's why i feel like ****. but also because i know that what i want for my self is the complete opposite of what they want for me. i just feel so stuck in the middle. in my mind at least, in real life i dont have a choice. i have to live the way they want me to, or they'll find someone for me that wants that too and there goes my life. of course that's going to happen eventually anyway, so why speed it up?
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    (Original post by MiszShortee786)
    Oh thats funny I didn't realise that majority of the Muslims on TSR relied on me


    And you are so ignorant I actually DONT feel sorry for you.
    Oh no they actually have respect for themselves.

    I hope to God that one day he grants you brains to understand feminism. You need it more than anyone else on here.
    #5

    (Original post by RobML)
    How about Islam tought men not to be predatory perverts instead of forcing women to repress themselves?
    lol makes sense
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    (Original post by MrsSheldonCooper)
    Oh no they actually have respect for themselves.

    I hope to God that one day he grants you brains to understand feminism. You need it more than anyone else on here.
    From a female perspective I didn't imply anything abhorrent. I also hope to Allah he gives me brains to refrain from answering back to people like you.
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    (Original post by MiszShortee786)
    From a female perspective I didn't imply anything abhorrent. I also hope to Allah he gives me brains to refrain from answering back to people like you.
    Don't hold your breath sweetheart
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    (Original post by senoritatimaa)
    As'alamualaikum, this is just a little advice from me!

    So firstly, erm you had that interest to go to a club, but you didn't go...why!?
    Haven't you thought about it deeply... because you have that fear of Allah (swt).
    You ended up going to the club...you fell into shaytaans trap.

    This is just a Hadith for you to ponder upon..
    Abdullah ibn Amr reported: The Prophet (pbuh) said,
    “The pleasure of Allah is in the pleasure of the parents, and the displeasure of Allah is in the displeasure of the parents"
    Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1899

    And Subhanallah! you wear the hijab. Hijab is a form of modesty and purity. The hijab is a shield, it is righteousness and shows that you have faith. It is also an act of obedience to Allah (swt) and His prophet (pbuh).

    "going to go out or take my scarf off, i was like you know what - since im getting **** for it already I might as well do it."

    This is how shaytaan will get to you, he will make you think 'oh your getting sin for that anyway, so just take it off!"
    He will work on you slowly, he'll make you commit minor sins..then eventually you'll start committing major sins. (listen to this video until 37:40)
    https://youtu.be/FemDGxSwVcM?t=2046

    At this point my advice would be perform sincere taubah, ask for forgiveness from Allah (swt). Sit on the prayer mat and reflect on what you have done..if you feel like crying, cry, and only cry to Him because Allah will surely listen to your duas and guide you.

    Also control your nafs (desires) that is the biggest thing. if you can control your nafs then shaytaan wont be a problem.
    So for example you went to the club, now that isn't your fault it happens we're not angels, we are humans we all make mistakes but Allah (swt) has given us a chance we have to make taubah. Do taubah and and promise yourself you wont do that again.

    Hadith:
    One of the companions of the prophet (pbuh) asked him:
    How many steps away is Jannah?
    The prophet (pbuh) replied:
    Two steps away, put one of your foot on your nafs and your other foot will lead you to Jannah.

    "I took the scarf off because 1) i dont believe in it, 2) if i WAS wearing the scarf i would a) present islam in a negative light and b) not enjoy my self and feel paranoid and feel out of place and everyone would stare at me"

    1) It dosnt matter if you believe in it or not, just think that your doing all this for the sake of Allah (swt). Make that intention, Allah will surely be happy with you.
    2a) And why do you think your presenting Islam in a negative way?
    2b) Other peoples opinions are not important, pleasing Allah (swt) is important. When this world ends no one will help you, when you depart from this world no one will be with you in the grave, it'll only be you and your deeds, so live in this world within the Shariah laws.

    "I guess i feel bad because i let down my parents. i enjoyed the night though. but coming back, letting it all sink in, it didn't feel real. in fact, if it wasn't for my aching joints i would've thought it was all a dream."

    You are very lucky that Allah (swt) made you feel that guilt, that is also one of the greatest things that Allah (swt) can do to a believers heart. Imagine some people don't even get this feeling!

    "but i still feel horrible. i've just been crying and crying. i only left the room to go toilet. i still haven't eaten since last night really."

    Cry to Allah (swt) and just repent with a true heart. Please do not harm yourself like that, don't starve because you feel down..
    This body of yours is an amanah of Allah (swt). He has given this body to us to keep the soul safe, our bodies are just a empty case for the soul...the prophet (pbuh) has taught us to keep our bodies nourished as it is an amanah of Allah (swt), so keep you diet just right

    "i felt like it was a one time thing, i'd put it back on. but how can i? wouldn't that make me a hypocrite? of course, there's also the point that if i DO fully take it off, my parents WILL find out"

    Sister, like i have said before, shaytaan will slowly work on you...don't let him win! And no, how can you call yourself a hypocrite? This is all part of shaytaans plan, don't fall for his trap..you need to win over him!
    Insh'Allah you don't fully take it off, i will make duaa for you..i advice you to make sincere taubah..and try wearing the hijab again, start off with a couple of days, then try wearing the hijab for a week. Don't think about what other people think, have the intention that you are doing it for Allah (swt) only.

    "I'm just scared, and i feel stupid and i hate myself right now. i just want to end it all but that would do no good to anyone . i don't know what to do or how to feel."

    When getting ready for bed pray your night duas (+ Surah Al Mulk - youll be saved from the punishments of the grave). Wake up for Fajr and make dua in salaah, also when waking up in the morning, pray your morning duas (+ Surah Al Yasin - Allah will make your day easy, and hardships will go away)

    Insh'Allah this helps x
    Ohhh get in the bin


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    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by MiszShortee786)
    From a female perspective I didn't imply anything abhorrent. I also hope to Allah he gives me brains to refrain from answering back to people like you.
    (Original post by MrsSheldonCooper)
    Don't hold your breath sweetheart
    stop with the passive aggressive insults please
    it's a waste of time and energy for both of you
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    little background info; i'm 18, female, moved out of a very conservative Muslim household to study in a different city, getting a lot of **** for it too but that's not the point

    the point is I went out with my housemates last night to celebrate an occasion. we went to a club. i wanted to go because every time they told me to go, (they weren't pressuring or anything) i would say no even though i really wanted to. i was scared. of my parents, of them finding out. i also felt out of place, since I wear a head covering.

    after many problems caused because of speculation that i was going to go out or take my scarf off, i was like you know what - since im getting **** for it already I might as well do it. And i did. I took the scarf off because 1) i dont believe in it, 2) if i WAS wearing the scarf i would a) present islam in a negative light and b) not enjoy my self and feel paranoid and feel out of place and everyone would stare at me

    but the whole bus journey there, i felt so weird. it didn't feel like i'd done anything drastic. but i kept mentally beating my self up about it. i kept calling my self names and cheap and weak because i 'gave in' - it hurts even though i know i wanted this. I guess i feel bad because i let down my parents. i enjoyed the night though. but coming back, letting it all sink in, it didn't feel real. in fact, if it wasn't for my aching joints i would've thought it was all a dream.

    i've been in bed all day. i didnt go to lectures. i feel like ****. i did not drink, or have sex, or even talk to boys, technically i did nothing to be 'ashamed' of, but i still feel horrible. i've just been crying and crying. i only left the room to go toilet. i still haven't eaten since last night really.

    i also have another problem. i took it off, and obviously a lot of uni students were there. some of whom are friends or acquaintances. i felt like it was a one time thing, i'd put it back on. but how can i? wouldn't that make me a hypocrite? of course, there's also the point that if i DO fully take it off, my parents WILL find out - i've seen a few former friends back from my high school, who know people who know people who will get it to them.

    I'm just scared, and i feel stupid and i hate myself right now. i just want to end it all but that would do no good to anyone . i dont know what to do or how to feel.

    can anyone give me some advice? or atleast calm me down? please?
    Ok, a lot of people today have spent time encouraging you to be liberal (I admit I've only read the first page but I'm using it as a sample). You may also have had people supporting religion on here which is understandable. To me, religion comes from within - and most religious teachings support this; I am against organised religion but that doesn't mean that I'm not religious. So I think you need to stop associating:
    -faiths with people (e.g. your parents)
    -"freedom" with your friends and your new start in uni
    -faith with objects (e.g. the hijab)
    -oppression with faith (and the subsequent connotations)

    I fundamentally disagree with faith leaders and conventions such as attending church/synagogue/mosque/temple etc. and feel that doesn't reflect your personal beliefs.

    So take yourself away, from your friends, from TSR, from family. Sit in a park on your own (in decent weather), phone off, hijab off. And think about what you believe in: don't live a lie.

    Ignore practicalities and focus on your inner-beliefs.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    stop with the passive aggressive insults please
    it's a waste of time and energy for both of you
    I know right I was watching the Great British Bake off too

    Made any decision then?
 
 
 
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