Flatmate heard me having sex? What should I do

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    (Original post by NoumanAliKhan)
    Move out and start afresh somewhere else with a clean slate.
    Move out because your neighbour heard you getting pumped?
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    (Original post by cbblitz)
    Move out because your neighbour heard you getting pumped?
    Yup. Just to salvage some remnants of respectability and not to drag the academic institution in to disrepute.
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    (Original post by NoumanAliKhan)
    Yup. Just to salvage some remnants of respectability and not to drag the academic institution in to disrepute.
    Aye I'm sure the unis where people are getting their hole on the regular are horrified and shocked to be associated with such skullduggery.

    All going right I wouldn't mind dropping my uni to bottom of the rankings by the end of this year
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    You are not interfering with your flatmates one bit. They can't see you having sex! Carry on doing it, without worry. And if she doesn't want to give her Facebook or contact numbers so you can tell her when you bring people back, thats her problem. You are actually being a bit too nice, which I respect you for though.
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    I used to hear the person in the flat above me having sex during the spring term of my first year. It was only annoying for me when I was trying to sleep (especially because I had to wake up early the next morning) and I'd hear the bed bashing against the wall/loud moaning/springy sound lol. That's the only disturbance tbh - disrupting sleep.
    Otherwise I didn't really care :rofl:
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    (Original post by PrinceHarrys)
    99% chance she won't want to share with a guy too. Even if its just one guy in a flat.

    Unfortunately some people don't want to "integrate", but then they also make life a nightmare for everyone else as OP shows. If it was that big a deal for her she should started looking early and found an all Muslim female house through the Muslim society.
    Oh calm the **** down!

    Even if her religion has something to do with it, so what? I think if your living together you should try your best to respect eachother. Clearly OP wasn't being as quiet as she thought she was or else her roommate would not have heard.

    I wouldn't want to hear someone having sex either, I would find it extremely uncomfortable. It's a bit gross really.

    I admit she seems a little difficult, but saying that she sounds very introverted so maybe she doesn't want to give her contact details to the rest of her flat mates. Ngl she sounds like she is singled out, so maybe that is why she doesn't want to give out her details? It doesn't really matter if she gives out her details, the point is they are all living together and she is a part of that house as much as everyone. Just because everyone in that house is okay with hearing eachother have sex doesn't make it okay. You should CONSIDER everyone in the household, since she has as much right to be there as everyone else does.
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    (Original post by cbblitz)
    **** it.

    Firstly, you're in your room. Walls not being thick are a consequence of that house. She should have realized this before moving in and taken it was a fault.

    Secondly, okay, she has a headscarf, so I presume an issue is it's kind of something they don't do in their religion right? Well, in our side of the world's religion, we don't wear headscarfs. Their presence doesn't offend us (well, the logical 'us' so nor should the presence of you doing whatever you want in your own space.

    The only problem I could see is if you're having people wandering about the house or something, but as a guy, the last thing I typically thing after getting the ride is "I wonder what kind of accent pillows she has in her living room". I'm thinking "Alright now move over and throw me some covers".
    So what if you don't find it offensive? She does. It's her space too...if she wants to walk around with a headscarf then she should be able to? :-/
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    (Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes)
    Oh calm the **** down!

    Even if her religion has something to do with it, so what? I think if your living together you should try your best to respect eachother. Clearly OP wasn't being as quiet as she thought she was or else her roommate would not have heard.

    I wouldn't want to hear someone having sex either, I would find it extremely uncomfortable. It's a bit gross really.

    I admit she seems a little difficult, but saying that she sounds very introverted so maybe she doesn't want to give her contact details to the rest of her flat mates. Ngl she sounds like she is singled out, so maybe that is why she doesn't want to give out her details? It doesn't really matter if she gives out her details, the point is they are all living together and she is a part of that house as much as everyone. Just because everyone in that house is okay with hearing eachother have sex doesn't make it okay. You should CONSIDER everyone in the household, since she has as much right to be there as everyone else does.
    You're gonna hear things. The walls in student halls are freaking paper thin. You would be having pretty **** sex otherwise lol. You can legitimately just hear ass slapping against hips through the wall - nevermind moaning or squeaky beds.

    So she is just gonna have to be mature about it, because I'm pretty sure the entire flat is not gonna abstain from sex because she finds it awkward. Also, if they're not really friends anyway, that's just a recipe for disaster.

    If someone was wanting sex why would they stop it because a flatmate feels awkward about it? Real talk, they ain't gonna. So Miss Headscarf needs to make friends. This is how university works.
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    (Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes)
    So what if you don't find it offensive? She does. It's her space too...if she wants to walk around with a headscarf then she should be able to? :-/
    But read what you said.

    She should be able to walk around with a headscarft because it's her religion.

    AND

    OP shouldn't be having sex because of a roommates religion.

    So this girl gets it both ways? You can practise your religion as long as you don't require anyone else to do so. If you want people to change what they are doing to suit your religion, then shouldn't you, by your own logic, change what you are doing to suit theirs?

    There is no casual sex in Islam.
    There are no headscarfs in Christianity.

    Why does the Christian need to abide by the rules of Islam if the Muslim won't abide by the rules of Christianity?
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    (Original post by TorpidPhil)
    You're gonna hear things. The walls in student halls are freaking paper thin. You would be having pretty **** sex otherwise lol. You can legitimately just hear ass slapping against hips through the wall - nevermind moaning or squeaky beds.

    So she is just gonna have to be mature about it, because I'm pretty sure the entire flat is not gonna abstain from sex because she finds it awkward. Also, if they're not really friends anyway, that's just a recipe for disaster.

    If someone was wanting sex why would they stop it because a flatmate feels awkward about it? Real talk, they ain't gonna. So Miss Headscarf needs to make friends. This is how university works.



    I don't think they should abstain, I just think everyone should be considerate of eachothers feelings because they do all live together. I mean if you can be quieter.

    But this thread pisses me off, it's just another way to make muslims people feel like they can't be a part of the rest of British society because of the way they live their lives -_-

    I know the head scarf thing is a bit far, and if it bothers her a lot then she can just wrap a thin scarf over her head when she is walking around the flat.

    But the hearing people have sex probably isn't pleasant for MANY people, muslim or not.
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    (Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes)
    Oh calm the **** down!

    Even if her religion has something to do with it, so what? I think if your living together you should try your best to respect eachother. Clearly OP wasn't being as quiet as she thought she was or else her roommate would not have heard.

    I wouldn't want to hear someone having sex either, I would find it extremely uncomfortable. It's a bit gross really.

    I admit she seems a little difficult, but saying that she sounds very introverted so maybe she doesn't want to give her contact details to the rest of her flat mates. Ngl she sounds like she is singled out, so maybe that is why she doesn't want to give out her details? It doesn't really matter if she gives out her details, the point is they are all living together and she is a part of that house as much as everyone. Just because everyone in that house is okay with hearing eachother have sex doesn't make it okay. You should CONSIDER everyone in the household, since she has as much right to be there as everyone else does.
    Or maybe they repeatedly asked her to join the group chat so they can let her know? Maybe unis have thin walls and you can hear people having sex no matter what - and it's just a fact of life? Maybe if she has an issue with any male friends, even platonic, coming round it's about more than just loud sex. Given she's the one that has a problem with everyone else's lifestyle yet refuses to compromise or discuss I think chances are she needs to deal with it, or move out.

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    I would say that because she is obviously religious, you need to bear that in mind and maybe just sit together and talk about certain boundaries that should be set so you dont offend her and she deosnt dictate over your life too much. There should be a reasonable outcome so that no one has to feel awkward or discriminated against.

    P.S. Maybe just dont have sex whilst she is in the flat. Or go to ur bf's instead
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    I think the best thing to do would be next time, record it, put it on here, and we'll be able to judge.
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    (Original post by Obiejess)
    Or maybe they repeatedly asked her to join the group chat so they can let her know? Maybe unis have thin walls and you can hear people having sex no matter what - and it's just a fact of life? Maybe if she has an issue with any male friends, even platonic, coming round it's about more than just loud sex. Given she's the one that has a problem with everyone else's lifestyle yet refuses to compromise or discuss I think chances are she needs to deal with it, or move out.

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    Well I don't know her side of the story, I get the feeling she just doesn't like being there.
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    (Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes)
    But the hearing people have sex probably isn't pleasant for MANY people, muslim or not.
    But it happens. People are going to have sex. It's typically a loud enough thing. There's obviously different levels to it, but you can't go around asking flatmates to not have sex 3 times in 3 months because it makes you uncomfortable. (Don't mistake this for me ********ting that I'm getting my hole that often haha)
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    (Original post by cbblitz)
    But read what you said.

    She should be able to walk around with a headscarft because it's her religion.

    AND

    OP shouldn't be having sex because of a roommates religion.

    So this girl gets it both ways? You can practise your religion as long as you don't require anyone else to do so. If you want people to change what they are doing to suit your religion, then shouldn't you, by your own logic, change what you are doing to suit theirs?

    There is no casual sex in Islam.
    There are no headscarfs in Christianity.

    Why does the Christian need to abide by the rules of Islam if the Muslim won't abide by the rules of Christianity?
    There is also only marital sex in christianity so erm...yeah.

    Anyway, no I don't think her roommates should abstain from sex, however I think they should try and be more considerate by being quiet, it's pleasant for everyone I assume, muslim or not.
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    (Original post by cbblitz)
    But it happens. People are going to have sex. It's typically a loud enough thing. There's obviously different levels to it, but you can't go around asking flatmates to not have sex 3 times in 3 months because it makes you uncomfortable. (Don't mistake this for me ********ting that I'm getting my hole that often haha)
    She didn't ask her not to have sex. I don't think OP should abstain. I just think OP should try and be quiet.

    Is that inconsiderate of me? idk. I guess everyone will have a different point of view on this.

    I just don't get why muslims being unable to integrate has even come into this thread? integrating isn't about how much you can tolerate hearing people have sex. -__-
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    (Original post by Mathsmad123)
    Im sorry but this is one the funniest thing I have ever heard on TSR!
    Because you seem too nice, but that girl who has a problem sounds like a ****.
    I once had sex in my friends flat which i used to borrow lol. All his flat mates heard the girl moaning loudly but they couldn't care less, as I never did anything wrong
    Listen....YOU have the right to do what you like. You aren't breaking rules, you aren't causing disturbance. Its a ****ing bed squeaking thats all.
    And SHE has the right to feel how she feels
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    I dont see why everyone is targeting the room mate. We all have different opinions and different views on everything. Some muslims, like myself, are more liberal towards people and their "activities" whereas other muslims who are more strict when it comes down to their faith are obviously not going to feel comfortable in a situation like the OP is describing.

    People need to bemore considerate towards other peoples faiths and if not that just the fact that some people dont want to hear u going at it whether its only once or three times.

    I would strongly reccommend just talking to the room mate and finding out what you or her can do to make the situation better so ur nit treading on her toes and vice versa. Living with other people is all about everyone compromising and making small changes and just accepting each others differences whilst still living under one roof.
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    (Original post by Asiangirl_18)
    I dont see why everyone is targeting the room mate. We all have different opinions and different views on everything. Some muslims, like myself, are more liberal towards people and their "activities" whereas other muslims who are more strict when it comes down to their faith are obviously not going to feel comfortable in a situation like the OP is describing.

    People need to bemore considerate towards other peoples faiths and if not that just the fact that some people dont want to hear u going at it whether its only once or three times.

    I would strongly reccommend just talking to the room mate and finding out what you or her can do to make the situation better so ur nit treading on her toes and vice versa. Living with other people is all about everyone compromising and making small changes and just accepting each others differences whilst still living under one roof.
    Thank you
    Spoiler:
    Show
    I'm not even muslim myself, but it's true. Tbh I don't know where all this hate comes from towards muslims on Tsr.
 
 
 
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