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Pakistani Muslims please help.... Muslim girl dating a white guy watch

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    OK so using your same reasoning if she truly loves him then she should deconvert from Islam. Why is t always the man expected to convert?
    He doesn't have any stipulation on his part whereas the girl does from her cultural and religious point of view. I'm telling her he doesn't need to be Pakistani but does need to share the relogion otherwise her marriage contract is invalid in the eyes of God. She takes what she wants from it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    No it isn't the only way. I'm a Muslim woman married to a white atheist and he didn't convert to Islam and our marriage is going brilliantly
    That's great, I'm happy it's going good for you, but here I'm talking what Islam says and not what the layman thinks.
    • #5
    #5

    (Original post by ~scorpio~)
    He doesn't have any stipulation on his part whereas the girl does from her cultural and religious point of view. I'm telling her he doesn't need to be Pakistani but does need to share the relogion otherwise her marriage contract is invalid in the eyes of God. She takes what she wants from it.
    I'm a Muslim woman married to a non Muslim and I believe my marriage is perfectly valid in the eyes of God so that in itself is just down to interpretation
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    Well firstly, how religous are you ? Also is he going to convert ? And where are you from in Pakistan ?
    • #5
    #5

    (Original post by ~scorpio~)
    That's great, I'm happy it's going good for you, but here I'm talking what Islam says and not what the layman thinks.
    no you said it's the only way to save their relationship when it definitely isn't. I've just given you my own example where we didn't do that and our relationship is very much safe
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    (Original post by ~scorpio~)
    That's the only way to save their relationship I'm afraid. If he isn't practicing already, what's the problem? If he loved her he would do it for the sake of her..maybe then Allah will open his heart.

    However, I'm talking about the best option for her because she insists that she loves him and doesn't want to leave him because she thinks he's the one. If I was in her shoes I wouldn't consider a relationship like that from the start, but I'm only suggesting what the best option for her is. Non Pakistani is okay but a non Muslim is a definite no for everyone of all backgrounds.
    I'm sorry but since when are you a relationship expert? Them being an interfaith couple wouldn't automatically mean the end of it. My cousin (who follows a Dharmic religion) is very happily married to a Jewish guy. Neither of them converted when they married because believe it or not, you can have interfaith marriages that work!

    Open your mind for God's sake.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm a Muslim woman married to a non Muslim and I believe my marriage is perfectly valid in the eyes of God so that in itself is just down to interpretation
    Allah knows best. It might work out for you which is great but generally when Allah says something, he does so to benefit us. Obviously there are some people who won't have problems but that doesn't rule out that The majority won't. For instance, imagine praying and the husband has alcohol bottles on the table. why bring it on yourself? A woman should seek a guy who brings her closer to Allah, not someone who totally doesn't acknowledge his existence.
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    (Original post by MrsSheldonCooper)
    I'm sorry but since when are you a relationship expert? Them being an interfaith couple wouldn't automatically mean the end of it. My cousin (who follows a Dharmic religion) is very happily married to a Jewish guy. Neither of them converted when they married because believe it or not, you can have interfaith marriages that work!

    Open your mind for God's sake.
    What's the percentage of interfaith marriage working for the general population, Especially the practicing one? imagine a practicing Jew marrying a practicing Muslim. It simply won't work. They have their faith and we have ours is what the Quran says
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    (Original post by ~scorpio~)
    What's the percentage of interfaith marriage working for the general population, Especially the practicing one? imagine a practicing Jew marrying a practicing Muslim. It simply won't work. They have their faith and we have ours is what the Quran says
    A lot of them can end up in divorce but some of them do work. You're giving the impression it's all doom if they have an interfaith marriage.

    If your God was truly an all loving one he'd have no problem with true love at all.
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    Ain't gona sugar coat anything, it's annoying i know, but i don't think it'll work unless he is willing to convert. Especially since in your description it doesn't seem like your parents are very much lenient - I highly doubt your parents would approve. But then I reckon, you could always elope etc but that's stress neither me, you or future hubby needs. Moretime it's up to you and how much you value deen over dunya.
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    Also, I think you should take him to a restaurant like MyLahore etc, to prepare him for what he's signing up for, cos if he starts getting stares from other pakistani families etc, that's gona inevitably be the future. It's ****ed up but that's society for ya.
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    The state of people in this thread who think 'Allah' is actually real and could give a **** who she marries is unbearable. You can marry who you want, and if your parents don't approve then it should be you disowning them, not the other way. If religion is used as a barrier against happiness, then that's when you have to be realistic and understand it's garbage.

    But if religion makes you happier, like it does for most people, then that's ideal but it's clearly not for you!
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    (Original post by MrsSheldonCooper)
    A lot of them can end up in divorce but some of them do work. You're giving the impression it's all doom if they have an interfaith marriage.

    If your God was truly an all loving one he'd have no problem with true love at all.
    Yeah but love can be blind, sometimes you don't know what you're getting yourself into until you find out the persons true colours. Faith just makes it easier to raise kids under one unity and to practice freely. I don't really care if the person has an interfaith marriage and isn't practicing, but my point is it's an issue for a practicing person, especially if it were a female. Not everyone is affected I know but you can't speak for the majority of people.
    • #6
    #6

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    The reason I've put Pakistani Muslims because I believe no one really understands the backward nature of Pakistani culture unless you're in it

    Sorry in advance about the bad spelling/grammar, I'm not the best at writing.

    So I'm 25 years old, have a reputable well paid job, live on my own and I have a white boyfriend. We've been going out for a couple of years now, and I know we both ( if things continue to go really well) are thinking about marriage now.

    The biggest obstacle is my parents who are I own are going to be absolutely devastated- and I really cant stress this enough. To them to marry a BRITISH Pakistani is like - whoa ( if you want a decent a guy you'd marry from back home where you can be truly sure of the persons character). So never mind a white guy.

    My boyfriend - now I know you're going to be skeptical the following because you think I'm in love so can't see any bad, believe me I can but this guy, is 1 in a million. A kind, intelligent, 'good hearted' type of guy. I know I'm very lucky to have found someone like him, and the thought of letting him go is unbearable.


    I love my family I really do, and my parents are kind people but its been ingrained in them that family honour within the community is extremely
    important. And I know they love me as well, but I KNOW they would rather I married no one than a white guy. And that to me is unimaginable because all I've every wanted is a family of my own. I wouldnt be just losing my parents, but my relatives and religious Muslim friends as well

    I would like advice from other Asians who have seen or experienced themselves how it all pans out if the couple marry regardless of their parents view. Do the parents eventually come round ?

    Sorry this has been a bit of a rant.
    Basically I've met an amazing guy whom I want to marry but I don't want to lose family. What do I do....
    hey maybe he can convert???? and my cousin married a proper gora and shen has strict parents. it took years for her parents to accept but eventually they did because they love her. It would help if ur bf really tried to impress them (stops drinking ,says ASA, ) .

    Listen the fact that u are saying if we ever get divorced y will have no one is worrying , so there's a chance it won't work out? also do u have siblings , tell them first , get them on ur side.
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    Islam is just so inclusive ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
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    Marry him. Don't let religion get in the way of true love. How anyone can believe in a God that's so judgemental etc is sad. I could never worship a God like that. I have so much admiration for Muslim women who are still open minded and have their own opinions.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    OP, ignore the self-righteous Muslims on here who know nothing of love and marriage and give you frankly stupid solutions. it's devastating that in this day and age there are still ppl who will tell you to give up your true love for the sake of appeasing allah.

    Ignore them. I am a Muslim woman and my husband is a white atheist. He is the love of my life and our marriage could not be happier. it won't wreck your dunya and akhirah as one stupid poster has said as allah won't punish someone for true love, how stupid does one have to be to believe that. Sadly it seems like your family is quite intolerant meaning you will ultimately have to decide between your own happiness and theirs, I know which one I'd choose.
    I love this.
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    (Original post by IdeasForLife)
    This comes down to whether you value Allah over him or not. Honestly believe me marrying him isn't worth it. You'll wreck your dunya and your akhirah. Your marriage wouldn't count Islamically and you'll be committing zina.
    This is the reason islamic culture is not compatible with western society. Have you heard of the civil rights movement? Martin Luther King Jr?

    ANY religion that preaches anything but acceptance is EVIL. Christianity came around in the past hundred years. It's Islam's turn or else expect far right zealots to come to power (not unlike Trump).
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    (Original post by A-LJLB)
    I love this.
    Amen.
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    (Original post by ~scorpio~)
    Yeah but love can be blind, sometimes you don't know what you're getting yourself into until you find out the persons true colours. Faith just makes it easier to raise kids under one unity and to practice freely. I don't really care if the person has an interfaith marriage and isn't practicing, but my point is it's an issue for a practicing person, especially if it were a female. Not everyone is affected I know but you can't speak for the majority of people.
    You can say the exact same thing to someone whose marrying someone of the same faith as them. You can get a guy who preaches to you how women have their feet above Paradise and are queens but then after marriage you realise he condones wife beating.
 
 
 
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