boyfriend dumps me cruelly after 5 and a half years Watch

smarris
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#81
Report 10 years ago
#81
oh im so sorry to hear this!! what a scumbag!!!
i suggest you go see some friends, maybe stay over thier house for a bit im sure they can cheer you up!!
be strong and when yur ready face the **** and ask him what the hell u did to deserve such treatment!!
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m4n0ran
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#82
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#82
Commiserations, this person is obviously not worthy of you. How about getting bacck out there? Maybe it could take your mind of things. Although I have no experience with what you have been through, so all I can really say is that my thoughts are with you.
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Crissi
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#83
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#83
Hey OP please respond so we know that you are ok/alive etc etc, we do not want you doing anything crazy to yourself.
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Beccydoodaa
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#84
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What he has done is absolutely terrible and he certainly doesn't deserve your love and respect now. But think about it, you have your whole life ahead of you to do other things, become close to other people, experience some things on your own and sort yourself out.

If you are 21 now, did you really think you would find someone at 16/17 to spent the rest of your entire life with? I know feelings run deeply and I'm certainly not questioning your love but there are other peopel better deserving of your devotion than him. It is a harsh world and there is not much we can really do about it but giving up certainly isn't the answer. You are still young and have plenty of time for marriage.

Maybe it was the distance, maybe he changed; there could be a hundred reasons but knowing them might not change anything. My parents were together for 16 years and then one day I went to school watching them very much in love and when I came home they were split. Sixteen years and it only takes one day. I think the important message here is be the bigger person, enjoy your life and try not to feel too alone because you're not.

As the saying goes, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger.
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Charlski
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#85
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#85
(Original post by Crissi)
Hey OP please respond so we know that you are ok/alive etc etc, we do not want you doing anything crazy to yourself.

Yes, please do.
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Schmokie Dragon
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#86
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#86
Put it this way . . . say you are 20, and you have been with him since you were 15. Everything feels beyond awful now, and you can't see a way out. It might take you years to feel emotionally safe again. So imagine you are 25 before you meet someone else and manage to move on . . . with luck you will still have another 60 or so years to live!

Don't throw your life away over a man, don't do that to your family and friends. Don't fall into the trap of thinking that 5 years is worth a human life.
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Espy
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#87
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#87
Your ex-boyfriend deserves to die the most horrible death humankind could possibly think of. He is low-life scum and if you ask me, he should be the one killing himself. You deserve so much better than that, after giving yourself to him for five ****ing years, and there he is, treating you like whatever. Seriously, somebody with so little respect does not deserve you. Think of it this way- be positive that he ended this. Would you rather be with a guy who resorts to FB to end a freaking 5 year relationship? No! IMagine this didn't happen. But it would've happended sooner or later. Thank god it's over. And may his penis be nailed to a tree while he is surrounded by fire.
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silverbolt
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#88
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#88
ok you had a five year relationship

he dumps you out of the blue

he doesnt have enough respect for you to give you a reason

the guy is too cowardly to answer phone calls or texts

and you want to kill yourself over a disrespectful coward?

from this point of you, whos the biggest idiot there?
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silverbolt
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#89
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(Original post by aster100)
Whatever you do, do not commit suicide. That solves absolutely nothing. Say if you don't commit suicide, and after 10 years you're living relatively happily, imagine how you would feel knowing that you were going to commit suicide. It's the worst option you can take; you lose everything good in your life, including life itself.
Actually for the person involved suicide solves everything - though its a rather final solution. It for the rest of the people who knew the suicide that it screws everything up for.

Oh and as for ten years down the line if she kills herself she will never have ten years to look back to reflect.

OP killing yourself over a guy is frankly pathetic not to mention utterly selfish.

Times a healer you will get past it
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cadaeibfeceh
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#90
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#90
(Original post by Anonymous)
please anon because i dont want my sister to see this and she uses it

my boyfriend jsut broke up with me. after 5 years.
he didnt even tell me to my face. he let me find out from someone else.
i am on the brink, ive been going crazy all night. planning my suicide.
im posting here, hopefully to hear anything encouraging about getting past breakups of a big magnitude.
this wasnt a 6 month fling. we were close to getting engaged. families met each other, everything was perfect.
the breakup came out of nowhere- literally NOWHERE. i didnt do anything wrong, we didnt argue. the news was just given to me that its over between us.
he wont answer my calls or my txts. its over. but i need to know the reason.
i feel like my life is over. 5 years is so long, we were practically married. how do you move on without suicide. im planning on buying more panadol later. i feel so serious about suicide. the pain is too much to bear and there are no words to describe it and put it across to strangers on the internet.

i feel so lost and broken
Abuse me if I'm wrong but...

As you haven't actually talked to him, don't you think that there's a slight chance he could have done it because of himself and not because of you - because maybe he's afraid you'll find out something about him? Because he's done something? Because he's afraid of taking it any further?

And if it's not this and he's just being a **** then you're not the one who should suffer, especially not to any point near to death!
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cadaeibfeceh
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#91
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#91
(Original post by silverbolt)
Actually for the person involved suicide solves everything - though its a rather final solution. It for the rest of the people who knew the suicide that it screws everything up for.

Oh and as for ten years down the line if she kills herself she will never have ten years to look back to reflect.

OP killing yourself over a guy is frankly pathetic not to mention utterly selfish.

Times a healer you will get past it
Oh yeah real nice - to the OP in serious pain considering suicide, why not insult her? Well done...
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wackysparkle
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#92
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OP 5 years is definitely a long time, and being so in love with someone for that much of time obviously meant you planning out the rest of your life with them. It's only natural.
And then to have it taken away just like that without explanation is defintely not something you'd want and would make you feel vulnerable.. its understandable.
I won't generalise and say that everyeone feels like this at a breakup because everyone reacts differently and so will you.

Suicide is not the answer to this. By doing that you are not moving on, you are actually running away from it ultimately forever.
You need time to heal, just like many have already said - and it does sound like crappy advice because it would mean you just thinking about the situation hundred fold.. but then at the end of the day its his loss. Yes it was yours too.. but you have the upper hand here.. he did something very cowardly by not telling you in person and even avoiding you now.

Don't even think about going to him to find out - a guy who was supposed to marry you should have shown a lot more courtesy towards you.

Again I reiterate, suicide is not the answer.. it may seem like a good idea at the time but think of all the things you will miss out on.
You will miss your friends, you will miss your family.. you'll miss the little quirks that you do every day, you will miss all your hobbies and your little knick knacks and mainly you will miss the next guy who sweeps you off your feet.
It may not seem like it now, but who knows? time will tell.. everything happens for a reason.

It all sounds confusing right now and you are in a state of unhappyiness..but don't seek the ultimate that would actually destroy all you have to offer the world. and don't get rid of the gift of life.. it really is amazing.. you just need to give it time..
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silverbolt
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#93
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#93
(Original post by cadaeibfeceh)
Oh yeah real nice - to the OP in serious pain considering suicide, why not insult her? Well done...
doesnt make my point any less true and i make no apology for it.

Or are you actually going to say that im wrong
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cadaeibfeceh
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#94
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(Original post by silverbolt)
doesnt make my point any less true and i make no apology for it.

Or are you actually going to say that im wrong
Yeah I am because, even if you're correct about it being pathetic and selfish, wouldn't those descriptions apply to all suicide, not just over a guy?
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silverbolt
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#95
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(Original post by cadaeibfeceh)
Yeah I am because, even if you're correct about it being pathetic and selfish, wouldn't those descriptions apply to all suicide, not just over a guy?
all suicide is pathetic? No wi wouldnt argue that that was always true.

Selfish? Yes i would argue it is selfish - adn thats someone who speaks from experiance of both being a suicide and being on the recieving end of someone whos commited suisicde.

Though do bear in mind its highly doubtful the OP is truly suicidal, shes very upset and in shock. This is probably a flash in the pan thought that will go away in the days and weeks to come. Of course people do stupid things in the heat of the moment
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Anonymous #4
#96
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#96
Ok please take the time to read this, OP.

I haven't talked about this in years but I feel like this could potentially help you open your eyes and see hope at the end.

3 years ago my sister walked in on her boyfriend of 4 years (on and off 4 for and a half years) in bed with another girl (at Uni this was) he didn't say sorry, made no excuses and all he said 'well you know now so guess its over' NOBODY had any idea what happened and because she lived away from home, we didn't think much about the fact we didn't hear from her for a week. We then had a phone call from the hospital saying shes taken an overdose. We went to her apartment and found a suicide note, I still remember every word and just remeber feeling like MY life was over because my sister- best friend felt there was no other way. Luckily she survived and 3 years on, she has completely re-built her life. She has a degree, a job and a new fiance who loves her. We haven't talked about it with her (she did get councilling though so she didn't hold it in) but I'm pretty sure she would say she's glad her overdose didn't work. Please consider this, even though for now you feel like theres no way out from this pain, please remember you are 21 years old, there are so many people yet to meet, things to experience. You are shocked, shaken up and confused. Let it all out, scream, shout, punch things, do whatever it is that will get your frustration out but don't think about ending your life, because everything always happens for a reason, and this may have been just the thing to get you to change your life around, become more independant and think about things in a different way.
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Wind Guru
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#97
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Awwwwe OP. *hugs* 5 years is along time, I remember how horrid I felt when I broke up with my boyfriend - and we'd only been together for 10 months.

Seriously, the way to get through this is to talk to people - your friends, family. Let them be a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen - let it all out! I cried until I felt sick, I couldn't sleep alone.

But it does get better, it will in time you must believe this. He was wrong to act that way, but you have to show him you're strong. Keep busy - don't sit at home alone or you'll start thinking it over and over in your head. The night I broke up with my boyfriend, a group of my friends came over with wine, junk food and we just had a great time listening to music and laughing. I ended up bawling my eyes out obviously - but felt much much better!

Treat yourself, get a new hair style - buy some new clothes - I changed myself a bit, it made me feel independent and not having the past hanging over me. I took up a new hobby and took time to praise myself.

I hope you're feeling better soon, OP, it will hurt for a while - and unfortunately time is the healer. *hugs* Please don't consider suicide I know it'll be hard to see now - but you will move on.
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