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Need advice - Gay/Bi Asian Muslim Watch

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    (Original post by 000015080)
    Yeh because you know whats best for you. Everyone is born staright noone is born gay/bi.!! Its not like that it your born straight you like men you change.
    Well as I said, anybody with any intelligence/amount of credible research into the subject disagrees. But hey, who needs facts when you've got IGNORNACE! WOO! :awesome:
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    In trouble now.
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    (Original post by 000015080)
    It is something you choose you ****ing weirdo!!
    Im straight now tomorow i go shag a man that makes me gay i chose to shag him; i chose to be gay. Its pointless arguing with people like you !!
    (and no im not gay im straight just using that as an example)
    Hahahahahahahahahaha!
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    (Original post by tieyourmotherdown)
    Well as I said, anybody with any intelligence/amount of credible research into the subject disagrees. But hey, who needs facts when you've got IGNORNACE! WOO! :awesome:
    I whole-heartedly agree with this statement.
    • #4
    #4

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Right, if you are going to post either personal attacks, then don't bother. Basically, I need some advice.

    I'm currently 17 - I'm of Southern Asian ethnicity and a Muslim. I follow my religion and I am vaguely aware of what my religion says about homosexuality. Now...I never chose to be gay, I know being homosexual is in my nature. I realised this several years ago when I started getting turned on by boys around me and stuff, girls never used to rarely turn me on. This leads me onto whether I am bisexual or not.

    Now, I really want to get this off my chest. But I can't. Outing my self to my parents is 100% not viable. I'd be disowned, thrown out, probarbly shipped off to Asia to get married etc etc, you know the drill. The majority of my friends are also young Asian Muslim males - most of which see homosexuality in a very negative way. I have practically no friends that I could trust with this. I feel like I am living a secret life and it's a daily pressure, I feel like I can't express myself and have to be somebody I am not.

    I'm not turned on by older males but Asian males of a similar age to me, which feels wrong - especially as some are my friends. I could never tell them because they'd probarbly kill me or whatever. But I'm not even sure if I am gay. If I see really hot girls, I do not get aroused but idk...

    I am thinking of waiting till I start uni then perhaps come out of my shell. Don't get me wrong, I'm not intending on become an in-yer-face homo...

    Urgh, this is killing me, I've even contemplated suicide because I feel either way, I can't be myself. What should I do? :ashamed2:
    As one of the first posters said, it is not your fault if you feel this way and did nothing to encourage it. If you're like that, you're like that and it's not a sin in itself. However, as a Muslim you cannot act on your urges or entertain the thought. It will be very difficult indeed but you need to strive to rise above it. I hope you all the best, InshaAllah He makes it easy for you.
    • #4
    #4

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Right, if you are going to post either personal attacks, then don't bother. Basically, I need some advice.

    I'm currently 17 - I'm of Southern Asian ethnicity and a Muslim. I follow my religion and I am vaguely aware of what my religion says about homosexuality. Now...I never chose to be gay, I know being homosexual is in my nature. I realised this several years ago when I started getting turned on by boys around me and stuff, girls never used to rarely turn me on. This leads me onto whether I am bisexual or not.

    Now, I really want to get this off my chest. But I can't. Outing my self to my parents is 100% not viable. I'd be disowned, thrown out, probarbly shipped off to Asia to get married etc etc, you know the drill. The majority of my friends are also young Asian Muslim males - most of which see homosexuality in a very negative way. I have practically no friends that I could trust with this. I feel like I am living a secret life and it's a daily pressure, I feel like I can't express myself and have to be somebody I am not.

    I'm not turned on by older males but Asian males of a similar age to me, which feels wrong - especially as some are my friends. I could never tell them because they'd probarbly kill me or whatever. But I'm not even sure if I am gay. If I see really hot girls, I do not get aroused but idk...

    I am thinking of waiting till I start uni then perhaps come out of my shell. Don't get me wrong, I'm not intending on become an in-yer-face homo...

    Urgh, this is killing me, I've even contemplated suicide because I feel either way, I can't be myself. What should I do? :ashamed2:
    Additionally I recommend you don't post this on sites like TSR if you are serious. They don't understand how it is to be a Muslim, dont understand your issues, and unfortunately most posters will offer you nothing constructive. There are plenty of Islamic forums-- try them. You will be surprised how tolerant and open the new generation are, especially the young imams who have been bought up like you and me. It's not like how it was 15-20 years ago with most imams totally out of touch and totally unapproachable.
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    (Original post by 000015080)
    It is something you choose you ****ing weirdo!!
    Im straight now tomorow i go shag a man that makes me gay i chose to shag him; i chose to be gay. Its pointless arguing with people like you !!
    (and no im not gay im straight just using that as an example)
    Yeah, because being completely straight... (as you profess to be)

    'Choosing to shag a man' tomorrow would probably be difficult providing little Allah wouldn't be able to stay up.

    You dont choose who you are sexually attracted to! Your penis doesn't sit down with you when youre like 14 and decide, well... I'm gonna get erect for men and not for women. Or vice versa.
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    This breaks my heart. Sounds stupid but I only started to be aware of gay Muslims through Syed's storyline in EastEnders. :blush:

    I'd definitely advise you to wait until university, coming out to your family and friends now probably wouldn't be the best decision. I don't understand how someone can be condemned for being gay/bisexual. I know it's not the orientation itself but acting on it sexually which is the 'sin' but it just seems immoral to me. I really feel for you OP, I'm not Muslim but I'm African and my family are Christian and there is a lot of religion- induced (IMO) homophobia around, black and asian communities. /generalisation

    I'm not gay but I have huge issues with homophobia because I have a lot of friends who are.

    And to use a trite pop-culture reference: Syed managed to eventually reconcile his sexuality and his religion. Yeah, he's fictional, but there are support groups for people in your situation. There really is hope. You don't need to commit suicide. Just wait it out for a little while, it's ****, but it will be worth it when you'll be able to make non-judgemental friends at university and sort things out in your head. :hugs:

    Edit: Found you a website. http://www.imaan.org.uk/about/about.htm
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    (Original post by 000015080)
    Yeh because you know whats best for you. Everyone is born staright noone is born gay/bi.!! Its not like that it your born straight you like men you change.
    So he is struggling because he chose to be gay? Where in the OPs description of his circumstances did you infer that he made a choice?

    If being gay puts him in such a difficult position, why would he choose it?

    Your argument goes against logic and science.
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    (Original post by Harrifer)
    So he is struggling because he chose to be gay? Where in the OPs description of his circumstances did you infer that he made a choice?

    If being gay puts him in such a difficult position, why would he choose it?

    Your argument goes against logic and science.
    Who needs logic, science and good sense when you have FAITH?



    Disclaimer: the smiley is ironical.
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    (Original post by 000015080)
    WTF no1 is born gay. they have a choice to be gay and straight when they become mature. Everyone is born the same which is straight and as they grow older the orientation becomes known to them.

    (Original post by 000015080)
    I'd like to ask OP , have you been liking guys since day 1? or is this just recently maybe in the last few years that you find guys more attractive?
    :hand::hand:

    You know what can you do?

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    All the best to you, GiddensFTW.
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    sure, PM me whenever

    and I hope everything does work out for you, just dont forget that there are similar people in your shoes and they still find peace with themselves and they still to be fine with it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Right, if you are going to post either personal attacks, then don't bother. Basically, I need some advice.

    I'm currently 17 - I'm of Southern Asian ethnicity and a Muslim. I follow my religion and I am vaguely aware of what my religion says about homosexuality. Now...I never chose to be gay, I know being homosexual is in my nature. I realised this several years ago when I started getting turned on by boys around me and stuff, girls never used to rarely turn me on. This leads me onto whether I am bisexual or not.

    Now, I really want to get this off my chest. But I can't. Outing my self to my parents is 100% not viable. I'd be disowned, thrown out, probarbly shipped off to Asia to get married etc etc, you know the drill. The majority of my friends are also young Asian Muslim males - most of which see homosexuality in a very negative way. I have practically no friends that I could trust with this. I feel like I am living a secret life and it's a daily pressure, I feel like I can't express myself and have to be somebody I am not.

    I'm not turned on by older males but Asian males of a similar age to me, which feels wrong - especially as some are my friends. I could never tell them because they'd probarbly kill me or whatever. But I'm not even sure if I am gay. If I see really hot girls, I do not get aroused but idk...

    I am thinking of waiting till I start uni then perhaps come out of my shell. Don't get me wrong, I'm not intending on become an in-yer-face homo...

    Urgh, this is killing me, I've even contemplated suicide because I feel either way, I can't be myself. What should I do? :ashamed2:
    Hey i don't think telling anyone would be a sensible idea in your situation. However your still young and having these feelings is natural so don't worry. It does not mean your definatly gay. You dont state whether you've had a relationship before either and so you may be into girls just not know it.
    If you do find out your definatly gay then dont be afraid of outing it, just make sure your surrouneded by people who understand and aren't against it.
    Also never forget your roots and if your family and friends can't take it don't think badly of them its what they belive
    xxxxxxxxxxxxx
    • #5
    #5

    To all these homphobic people: you do not choose to be gay, it chooses you.
    You can be muslim and gay, as being muslim is between you and Allah, and if you believe he has accepted you then you should come out. I've been disowned for being gay, but the thing is your never alone, there will always be people out there to accept you. Just be yourself thats more than anyone can ask from you. You can still be muslim and gay, I am proof of that.
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    Wowww battybwoi
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    To all these homphobic people: you do not choose to be gay, it chooses you.
    You can be muslim and gay, as being muslim is between you and Allah, and if you believe he has accepted you then you should come out. I've been disowned for being gay, but the thing is your never alone, there will always be people out there to accept you. Just be yourself thats more than anyone can ask from you. You can still be muslim and gay, I am proof of that.
    You can be Muslim and gay, being gay doesn't make you non-Muslim. Nor does any other sin except for Shirk (when you claim Allah swt has partners). So your still Muslim but that doesn't make it acceptable, still repent yaknoo
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    To all these homphobic people: you do not choose to be gay, it chooses you.
    You can be muslim and gay, as being muslim is between you and Allah, and if you believe he has accepted you then you should come out. I've been disowned for being gay, but the thing is your never alone, there will always be people out there to accept you. Just be yourself thats more than anyone can ask from you. You can still be muslim and gay, I am proof of that.
    This post actually made me teary eyed for some reason. I'm so glad you're at peace.
 
 
 
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