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Never Had Sex Before - Please Help Watch

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    (Original post by Boobies.)
    For teenage girls, it can be a big thing. I guess its just different when your a girl.
    different, why? as I said it's just a social convention

    only reason I can see for their abstinence which isn't total is just that society has said you are a virgin until you've had vaginal sex and for whatever reason she wants to save it for someone special

    I really don't get it, it's not like all of the other acts aren't intimate

    the point of being abstinent is that you abstain FULLY !! otherwise it's really just a lot of bull **** that tries to make you seem 'pure'
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    put it this way


    the REAL and ONLY reason OP is 'saving' herself is because she believes in a false-sense of purity and morality

    people will ask, "how many people have you had sex with" and she can technically say, "oh none, I'm still a virgin * blush blush, polish halo *"

    because no-one will ask, "how many dicks have you sucked"
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    (Original post by vee3)
    put it this way


    the REAL and ONLY reason OP is 'saving' herself is because she believes in a false-sense of purity and morality

    people will ask, "how many people have you had sex with" and she can technically say, "oh none, I'm still a virgin * blush blush, polish halo *"

    because no-one will ask, "how many dicks have you sucked"

    I agree with you! You're one of the few people who talks sense in this thread :-)
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    (Original post by Boobies.)
    Haha, I find it rather interesting that you've made all these assumptions about me from the fact that I don't think its abnormal for a young couple not to have sex. I am indeed 17, but I'm not a virgin, i do very much like sex, and if i dated someone i would want to have sex with them. I don't think sex is necessary for a couple to be a couple. I think if people are happy being a couple and not having sex, leave them to it. That doesn't mean I don't like sex, or that I don't want it from a partner, so I don't really know where you pulled that from.

    You shouldn't assume so much.
    You're a bag full of contradictions, Boobies. One minute you're talking about how 'sex isn't important to you', and how 'people can be boyfriend and girlfriend without having sex', and you called me a 'pig' for being a normal, healthy male who enjoys sex.....yet, the next minute you're saying you're not a virgin, you 'very much enjoy sex', and that if you dated someone you'd want to have sex with them. You say one thing, but do another.

    And to be honest, from reading your replies, you don't come across as someone who is very experienced at sex and relationships at all.

    I still can't take you seriously. Come back here in a few years when you're 21 or over and see if your views are still the same then....
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    (Original post by Neil_K)
    I agree with you! You're one of the few people who talks sense in this thread :-)
    ye, I was reading this thread thinking WTF !!! (you've made good points)

    I mean, I would understand if they just kissed and only recently start doing other stuff but no it's been over a year.

    I mean it's not like fellatio 'doesn't mean anything'

    You can kiss someone at a club and 'it can be without emotion' but tell me how a girl who has admitted to be being happy to suck him off should not go further - for what?

    stop trying to think you're 'pure' or whatever false reason you want to believe in.
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    (Original post by Neil_K)
    If the relationship is a longer term, more serious thing, then of course it's not JUST sex. I want to get to know that girl so I can see if she's on my wavelength as a person. I want to see if she's interesting to me. I want to see if she's on my level of intelligence. I want to see if she has good character or if she's just full of ****. I want to be with someone who I like as a person, but who I'm also sexually attracted to. I want to see if we have anything in common, etc.

    I live my life by a code of honour and base all my relationships on 3 things: HONESTY, TRUST and RESPECT, and I don't get involved with any girl who doesn't believe in those 3 things. In fact I tell girls this upfront, so there's no misunderstandings about how I operate.

    But what I'm saying is...WITHOUT SEX, a 'relationship' is just a platonic friendship.
    I wasn't going to post on this thread originally but having read all the **** being posted here, I have to say I agree with this post here.

    I wouldn't want to be in a relationship that doesn't involve sex, but that's not to say sex is the only thing I want. My current relationship of 7 months is serious and personally I think one of the reasons its been successful so far is how good it is in the bedroom (and sometimes outside it) along with her being on my wavelength, similar intelligence level blah blah.

    The point is I think sex definitely improves relationships and makes them stronger. I mean I can't wait to see my girlfriend next week mainly because I miss her company and the little things but also getting some action - she's admitted the same.
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    (Original post by vee3)
    different, why? as I said it's just a social convention

    only reason I can see for their abstinence which isn't total is just that society has said you are a virgin until you've had vaginal sex and for whatever reason she wants to save it for someone special

    I really don't get it, it's not like all of the other acts aren't intimate

    the point of being abstinent is that you abstain FULLY !! otherwise it's really just a lot of bull **** that tries to make you seem 'pure'
    Ha really all the males on this thread don't get it at all. It's simply different for girls, its not a social convention, to boys "getting laid" is a right of passage to them, once they've done it then they have no qualms about who else they do it with. For girls, it's like letting a little bit of yourself go to somebody else, its different to just doing "stuff" because you have to completely trust the other person in every thing your doing, its the most intimate and personal thing ever. and before i get all yours and "neil k's" abuse about how i must be some inexperienced little 16 year old virgin, im in a long term relationship and have sex very frequently. I think sex is very important, but th girl in question is 16 and in my experience thats very young for a girl to lose their virginity, she's afraid and seeking advice and all you can do is mock her for wanting to seem "pure", when actually she was just seeking advice on whether she thought it was the right time.
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    (Original post by natashapt)
    Ha really all the males on this thread don't get it at all. It's simply different for girls, its not a social convention, to boys "getting laid" is a right of passage to them, once they've done it then they have no qualms about who else they do it with. For girls, it's like letting a little bit of yourself go to somebody else, its different to just doing "stuff" because you have to completely trust the other person in every thing your doing, its the most intimate and personal thing ever. and before i get all yours and "neil k's" abuse about how i must be some inexperienced little 16 year old virgin, im in a long term relationship and have sex very frequently. I think sex is very important, but th girl in question is 16 and in my experience thats very young for a girl to lose their virginity, she's afraid and seeking advice and all you can do is mock her for wanting to seem "pure", when actually she was just seeking advice on whether she thought it was the right time.
    Have you even read the remarks she has made?

    beyond the first post.

    the girls are being overly sympathetic/caring without even reading, and being all 'aww poor lil girl'

    and she has chosen because of social convention to give more bearing on a particular act. what makes sex more different besides a hymen being broken? you think cavemen gave a crap?
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    BTW those who are saying, oh sex is so special, you should only lose it to someone special.

    Are you not seeing the contradiction here?

    You are elevating sex to something more than it needs to be/it actually is. You are almost demeaning and placing everything else on a lower status? That because you haven't had sex your relationship isn't 'good'? That all the time spent together, all the things you've done isn't good enough?

    You're trying to say "oh you can have love without sex" but then you are also indirectly saying by waiting, "our love isn't true enough to have sex"
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    do not listen to anyone else but yourself.
    but i will say this: dont feel just because hes waited a year and a half you should just have sex. Have sex because you love him and you feel like its right. Its good that he hasnt pressured you and he has waited.
    Just do what feels right. please listen to yourself and dont do anything that doesnt feel right because so many people rush in and then regret it.
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    (Original post by vee3)
    Have you even read the remarks she has made?

    beyond the first post.

    the girls are being overly sympathetic/caring without even reading, and being all 'aww poor lil girl'

    and she has chosen because of social convention to give more bearing on a particular act. what makes sex more different besides a hymen being broken? you think cavemen gave a crap?
    im not being all "poor little girl" but i simply think men dont get it(bar a few). you simply wouldnt understand because your NOT a woman, girls who lose their virginity to somone they dont want to regret it for the rest of their lives because its something they cant get back. its the most personal thing ever to girls but to men it isnt, they see it as something their entitled to which fair enough they are, but their "first time" isnt nearly as emotional or nervewracking as it is for a girl, simply due to the way women/men think and feel. once again youl contradict me, thats fine because you wont ever "get" it because you are a man. or a man very set in his views. ) i think to you and some of the other men on this thread, you necessarily see sex coming before "love" and see it as something that stengthens you as a couple and thats what develops into love, but for girls its the other way around, you sort of have to be in love to have sex or at least have deep feelings, or you feel a bit used and disgusting after. unless of course you are both aware that its a one night stand and not going any further, but that is not the case for the OP.
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    (Original post by natashapt)
    im not being all "poor little girl" but i simply think men dont get it(bar a few). you simply wouldnt understand because your NOT a woman, girls who lose their virginity to somone they dont want to regret it for the rest of their lives because its something they cant get back. its the most personal thing ever to girls but to men it isnt, they see it as something their entitled to which fair enough they are, but their "first time" isnt nearly as emotional or nervewracking as it is for a girl, simply due to the way women/men think and feel. once again youl contradict me, thats fine because you wont ever "get" it because you are a man. or a man very set in his views. ) i think to you and some of the other men on this thread, you necessarily see sex coming before "love" and see it as something that stengthens you as a couple and thats what develops into love, but for girls its the other way around, you sort of have to be in love to have sex or at least have deep feelings, or you feel a bit used and disgusting after. unless of course you are both aware that its a one night stand and not going any further, but that is not the case for the OP.
    I am glad I am not a girl.

    I get a **** and logic.

    you girls BRING IT ON TO YOURSELF, not just with sex, it's oh I look fat, it's not the media, you do to yourself and each other

    girls call each other sluts, so why they have such a thing about not being seen as one.

    oh he used mee.. stop playing the victim
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    (Original post by vee3)
    I am glad I am not a girl.

    I get a **** and logic.

    you girls BRING IT ON TO YOURSELF, not just with sex, it's oh I look fat, it's not the media, you do to yourself and each other

    girls call each other sluts, so why they have such a thing about not being seen as one.

    oh he used mee.. stop playing the victim
    you get a **** and you obviously think that makes your opinion the only one worthy of hearing. i dont call girls sluts, if they want to sleep around its their choice and its their fault if something goes wrong. i dont call myself fat because im luckily very skinny, i am confident with the way i look. and nobody has ever "used" me,any time i have done the deed i knew what i was doing and what i let myself in for, and that if it didnt work out i could have always said "no" i never said any of these things so i certainly am not "playing the victim", i was just telling you why sex is different for girls, because we have more emotional attachment, so any time a girl does have sex with someone she feels something for, it creates a bigger attachment to said person. for guys, well guys like you, having sex is "no biggie" coz at the end of the day you dont really get the emotional attachment that comes with it. i hope any girlfriend of yours has her emotions respected.
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      It's hardly anything special, just do it you creature.
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      Shag him on the down low.
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      (Original post by Anonymous)
      Okay,

      SO me and my boyfriend have been going out for 1 and a half years now and we never had sex because I told him I wasn't ready and he said it's okay with him and that he'd wait for me.

      And I am wanting some good advice from you lot because my friends are seriously immature and they have had sex, heaven knows how many times, so they take it casually but I find it more important and I don't know what to do.

      Because I feel like I made him wait long enough, and what if he gets bored of me?

      Please help
      xx

      girls don't really do much on their first time they just kinda lie down and take it :\... if u want u can say something whiles he is doing it like 'get in there my son'
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      (Original post by vee3)
      different, why? as I said it's just a social convention

      only reason I can see for their abstinence which isn't total is just that society has said you are a virgin until you've had vaginal sex and for whatever reason she wants to save it for someone special

      I really don't get it, it's not like all of the other acts aren't intimate

      the point of being abstinent is that you abstain FULLY !! otherwise it's really just a lot of bull **** that tries to make you seem 'pure'
      Its nothing to do with abstaining, being pure or social convention, or calling yourself a virgin.. nowadays there's more pressure on girls to lose it or be called frigid, so the point you made doesn't make much sense.
      Your first time just feels like an emotional thing with girls, not just sex.
      That emotional thing may be due to the way we're brought up to think, but you want your first time to be with someone who you care about etc, whereas guys aren't that bothered

      *shrugs* I doubt you're going to 'get' it really.
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      (Original post by Neil_K)
      You're a bag full of contradictions, Boobies...
      You're just making stuff up. I didn't call you a pig for enjoying sex at all - Basically you're talking crap, which is consistant with the rest of your posts in this thread. I would want to have sex with a partner, but if someone wanted to wait I, unlike you, wouldn't dump them for that reason.

      You're just one of these overly obnoxious people on TSR who confuse their own opinion with fact and can only argue by twisting what the other person said to the point of making stuff up, and all of your posts suffer from Ad Hominem.

      When you learn to have a logical argument, i'll talk to you. But you've just proved that maturity - at least in your case - certainly does not come with age. For the time being, I'm fed up of having to respond to this stuff you're making up, and this is going absolutley nowhere. So Good Day.
      :flybye:
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      (Original post by Boobies.)
      You're just making stuff up.
      Show me what I 'made up'. Quote me directly and be very specific...

      (Original post by Boobies.)
      I didn't call you a pig for enjoying sex at all - Basically you're talking crap, which is consistant with the rest of your posts in this thread. I would want to have sex with a partner, but if someone wanted to wait I, unlike you, wouldn't dump them for that reason.
      So what you're saying is that I'm a 'pig' because I don't want to waste my precious time with someone who doesn't want to have sex with me? Riiiight. So if a girl doesn't want sex, what's the alternative? Keep her around as a friend? Be gay best mates who hold hands in the park but never have sex? That's not what I'm looking for. And I am HONEST about what I want from women.

      Let me put it to you another way. If I went into an electrical store to buy a 42 inch Plasma tv, and the clerk in the store told me 'sorry, we don't have any 42 inch Plasma tvs, we only have 21 inch lcd tvs'. Would I say 'ok, I'll have the smaller tv instead' ? Nope, I'd say 'Bye bye' and go to a store that DOES sell what I'm looking for.

      It's the same when it comes to dating and relationships. If a girl can't or won't give me what I want, then I move onto someone who will.

      Or let me put it to you another way. If you met a guy and he wanted a casual, no-strings relationship, and you wanted a long-term monogamous relationship, would you be willing to stick with him? I bet you would say 'no thanks, that's not what I'm looking for', and then you'd move onto someone else.

      In the same way, if a girl expects me to wait an 'indefinite' amount of time until she's 'ready' to have sex with me, I am going to say 'no thanks' and move onto someone who can give me what I'm looking for.

      The idea is to hook up with a member of the opposite sex who wants the same thing as you want. Someone you are compatible with both sexually and as a person. Or you don't get together. End of.

      (Original post by Boobies.)
      You're just one of these overly obnoxious people on TSR who confuse their own opinion with fact and can only argue by twisting what the other person said to the point of making stuff up, and all of your posts suffer from Ad Hominem.
      If you, or anyone else, can't handle a bit of real talk, then that is your problem.

      When have I ever 'twisted what the other person said'? Quote me directly, and be very specific.

      I have not once lost an argument on this site. Nobody has ever invalidated what I've had to say on here. Not once.

      (Original post by Boobies.)
      When you learn to have a logical argument, i'll talk to you. But you've just proved that maturity - at least in your case - certainly does not come with age. For the time being, I'm fed up of having to respond to this stuff you're making up, and this is going absolutley nowhere. So Good Day.
      :flybye:
      For all your replies, Boobies, you still haven't invalidated anything I've said in this thread, or any other threads, for that matter.

      So I still find it hard to take you seriously. I'm wasting my time trying to have a rational, intelligent debate with you. You're not on my level. You are immature and inexperienced when it comes to sex and relationships. And that's fair enough, because at the age of 17 it's to be expected.

      Still standing strong. Still waiting for a convincing reply from you. Goodnight.
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      (Original post by natashapt)
      im not being all "poor little girl" but i simply think men dont get it(bar a few). you simply wouldnt understand because your NOT a woman, girls who lose their virginity to somone they dont want to regret it for the rest of their lives because its something they cant get back. its the most personal thing ever to girls but to men it isnt, they see it as something their entitled to which fair enough they are, but their "first time" isnt nearly as emotional or nervewracking as it is for a girl, simply due to the way women/men think and feel. once again youl contradict me, thats fine because you wont ever "get" it because you are a man. or a man very set in his views. ) i think to you and some of the other men on this thread, you necessarily see sex coming before "love" and see it as something that stengthens you as a couple and thats what develops into love, but for girls its the other way around, you sort of have to be in love to have sex or at least have deep feelings, or you feel a bit used and disgusting after. unless of course you are both aware that its a one night stand and not going any further, but that is not the case for the OP.

      Please don't speak for all girls. I, and many other women in their late 20s, certainly don't feel the same way about sex and never have. Losing my virginity was never a big thing to me, and I don't know any woman who says it was either. It was just simply a case of natural progression in a relationship. And I certainly wasn't in love with my husband the first night we met and ****ed, but the fact that we were ****ing awesome together in bed was one of the things that made us keep going back for more, and then develop feelings. Shrug.
     
     
     
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