Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Boyfriend has to see ex wife, should I be worried? Watch

Announcements
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    Sorry, but waiting just over a month isn't really waiting all that long, especially when the guy is 40... Plus, you're hearing his side of the story concerning the divorce. My god you're niave.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by aws)
    his own kids are older than her

    no man in his right man does that, it can't be ..
    I fink he was married to her for 18 years, n together with her for a bit before that so he prob had his kids wiv her before they were married. I haven't really asked him to go into these details, because its his past n I have to respect that.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by DeputyDog)
    I fink he was married to her for 18 years, n together with her for a bit before that so he prob had his kids wiv her before they were married. I haven't really asked him to go into these details, because its his past n I have to respect that.
    wow, he really has done a number on you.

    tell me, how often do you see him? what do your dates consist of? have you ever been back to his place

    now I'm thinking what someone else said - Whats to say he actually is divorced?
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by CherryCherryBoomBoom)
    I swear men are usually fertile their whole lives?
    If you're lucky. Male fertility does tend to decrease with age too. But slower compared to women.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by aws)
    wow, he really has done a number on you.

    tell me, how often do you see him? what do your dates consist of? have you ever been back to his place

    now I'm thinking what someone else said - Whats to say he actually is divorced?
    Yeh course I've been to his place duh! For dates we go to his place, out for dinner, the usual kind of stuff couples do I guess.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    oh this just gets better

    http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show....php?t=1457203
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by DeputyDog)
    Yeh course I've been to his place duh! For dates we go to his place, out for dinner, the usual kind of stuff couples do I guess.
    and what times do you go? ever spent the night there?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I think your boyfriend has to have a chat with this guy:

    http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_PGvSoaafXi...600/hansen.jpg
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    There a proper bunch of knobs on these forums like. The lass asked for opinions on whether she is overreacting, not to be bashed for her boyfriend choices. It's totally up to her who she dates. I mean, who are you to pass judgement exactly? Jeez, some people are so narrowed minded.

    I've read a magazine article on a girl who was 17 and her partner was almost 70.

    In answer to the OP, I don't think you have much reason to worry tbh, if he's going through a divorce then obviously he needs to meet with his ex wife. Plus he's older, he should be more mature than some lads around the teen years/early 20s who quite often jump into bed the first chance they get (bear in mind I said SOME). Plus, I reckon he must be pretty serious about you if he's told his children.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by CookieDoughLove)
    There a proper bunch of knobs on these forums like. The lass asked for opinions on whether she is overreacting, not to be bashed for her boyfriend choices. It's totally up to her who she dates. I mean, who are you to pass judgement exactly? Jeez, some people are so narrowed minded.

    I've read a magazine article on a girl who was 17 and her partner was almost 70.

    In answer to the OP, I don't think you have much reason to worry tbh, if he's going through a divorce then obviously he needs to meet with his ex wife. Plus he's older, he should be more mature than some lads around the teen years/early 20s who quite often jump into bed the first chance they get (bear in mind I said SOME). Plus, I reckon he must be pretty serious about you if he's told his children.
    Well obviously if most of the posters saying something is wrong here, then something is definately wrong here.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    Well surely the relationship with the ex wife was going on longer than 18 years if his daughter is 19 and his son is older. Either that or he's got even more baggage as he's had children with other women, other women that he'll always have a connection with because of his children, talk about complicated.
    I would have to question a man who would want a long term relationship with a child (technically as she's under the age of 18) something about that just isn't right, at all.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Please don't worry. He may still have feelings for her in more of a platonic, brother/sister sort of way. It would be very odd if after living as a couple he couldn't bring himself to talk to her. This way you know he is sensitive, which is good for you.

    Show him that you are also concerned for his ex, she may be hurting. By coming to terms with the loss (lost love on both sides) it may help to heal the two people involved.

    If you love him dearly then he will see that you love him but you cannot hold on to someone who is in love with another. No matter how hard it may be you have to let go. If it is meant to be it will work out. If not then it is better to find out now and live in the knowledge that you were the person that bought these two people back together. Even then he may decide that in fact, it is over between them and come back to you. True love is very difficult. Hang on in there. But not forever. You deserve happiness too.

    Believe me life is very complicated and nothing is set in stone. Even if you find that perfect person, unfortunately people do get ill and die so there is no guarantee that the one you love will be with you forever.

    Live your own life to the full. Do the things you want to do and be happy and treasure the little time you have on this earth and all the people you know and are yet to meet.
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by DeputyDog)
    Oh stop being so judgmental....I'm 17 not 12....we've both thought this through and the gap doesn't matter. I've always liked older men, age 30+, I don't like guys my age at all, n I think most girls are the same in that they prefer older men. So what if he's in his 40s...you can't help who you fall for. And no he didn't 'abuse his position of trust'....it was a mutual attraction and we got to know each other over a period of a few months. So you can just keep your opinions to yourself. Are you saying you've never fallen for an older man? Plus a lot of older men are gonna be divorced/have kids, its the way life goes dear.

    He does have kids, he's got a 19 yr old daughter and a son who's a few years older than her....not met them yet but they know about me and my bf says they were shocked at first but are now ok with it so guess I'll meet them in time....scary tho!

    At the end of the day, once you're 16 or over you can date who you want and I go for older men.
    The weird part is not that you go for him - you are an impressionable, naive child.

    The weird part is that he want a relationship with you, some spoilt snotty nosed little teenager. This implies he is a serious loser.

    I can barely stand the boredom of talking to a 17 year old for more than five minutes (jesus christ they are so self-absorbed and immature), let alone the idea of putting up with her **** for good!

    He will get bored of your jealousy, tantrums and immaturity within 6 months, I'd put money on it.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Law123mus)
    Well obviously if most of the posters saying something is wrong here, then something is definately wrong here.
    Have you read some of the nonsense posted on this forum? Don't be so stupid, majority opinion does not make it so, especially when people are basing their entire opinions on ages and social norms.

    Men used to come out of the army aged 45 and marry 16year olds. It was normal. Things have changed, and you can't say one way is right and one way is wrong.

    OP, you don't need to defend yourself. Just forget this thread and live your life.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by HistoryRepeating)
    He will get bored of your jealousy, tantrums and immaturity within 6 months, I'd put money on it.
    Fail. I've been with my boyfriend for about a year now. He has more tantrums than I do.

    Boys just don't grow up as fast :rolleyes:

    Now stop stereotyping, get off your high horse, and leave her alone.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by CookieDoughLove)
    I've read a magazine article on a girl who was 17 and her partner was almost 70.
    That is disgusting
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by DeputyDog)
    Wow we aren't planning kids anytime soon, let's not get too ahead of ourselves. I DO want kids when I'm older though (hopefully a boy & a girl).
    Think about the children though. If you did have children with him in say 10 years time, they may get bullied if other children or parents found out about the situation. Can you not see how wrong having siblings older than your mother is?
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by DeputyDog)
    I'm 17, bf is in his 40s. I fink his ex wife is about 39 or something, why?

    N I DO trust him, just feels weird that he's gonna be with another woman while I'm not there I guess. Been together about 6 weeks now, but known him for over 6 months as he was/is my driving instructor.
    http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show....php?t=1457203

    How have you been together for 6 weeks when this happened only 4 weeks ago?
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Haaaaaaaaaa.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    There is one other thing. How can he say that he will never see her again? She is the mother of his children. Even on a basic level he is always going to have to see her to pick-up the children, for birthdays etc.

    It does not sound too practical. I think there will have to be some contact. At least I would hope so. Not trying to be critical, but she has been a huge part of his life. He cannot just not see her ever again. It would be an insult to her if he did that.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: December 9, 2010
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Will you be richer or poorer than your parents?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.