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    You should give her some space for a few days, and think about what you did.
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    (Original post by TheQuickestSilver)
    Why is it the weirdest guys are always the one's with girlfriends?
    Lol it's the weirdest girls that seem to get the guys too :p:

    OP, I get your neck thing. I hate people touching my legs and if someone tickles my legs I'll kick out and could catch someone. I think you just need to carry on and make sure she knows you'll never hurt her. Don't treat her too differently I don't think.
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    I hit your girlfriend too.

    In the vagina.


    With my penis.


    She loved it.
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    (Original post by kim1234567)
    I tried to give a thumbs up to your comment, but TSR politely suggested that I should do so to other people and lay off you for a while. Lmao.

    I guess I'm stalking you?
    No biggie right? :ahee:
    get in line girl
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    professional help, how amusing...what do you people really think a psychiatrist is going to do for him? He is aware of the problem, he knows which past experience has caused the problem, he was trying to work on it with his girlfriend, but did a reflex action. What magical cure do you people think a shrink is going to give him?

    I'll tell you what they'll do. They'll figure out his problem (he is sensitive about those touching his neck), they'll try and figure out why (someone tried to strangle him, it's left him uneasy), they'll suggest overcoming it slowly (by working with someone and letting them gently touch it, and keeping in mind them being strangled was just a single event in the past), they'll say it might take a while and not give up if at first they don't respond well. Oh wait...he knows all that already and him trying himself is the reason we have this whole thing occurring.

    So OP assuming everything you've said is true it's not a major thing. It's a little like if someone is surprised by my ticklish feet and says they'll try touching them gently to see if I can cope, result is a kicking out reflex action and a possible foot connecting to face. Now that isn't my fault. I'll apologise profusely and hopefully it'll be ok. That's all you can do OP, apologise like you have and explain your past experience of being strangled if she doesn't know.

    Some people on this thread....:rolleyes:
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    Wow. I didn't know Sean Connery has TSR.
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    All you can do is apologise profusely. You are not a bad person- you didn't mean to hit or or hurt her in any way, it was a reflex. She's probably just slightly freaked out at the mo but she should realise a) you didn't intend to hit her and b) that things haven't really changed between you.
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    Nice going Iron Mike.
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    PS Helper
    if that was me id be a little scared too chat to her a bit more about it. take her out for dinner or something and just show her how sorry you are!
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    Chris brown alert!
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    #1

    Ok, I've spent the time since my last post talking to her. Apologised to her again for it and got her to open up about it - she assured me she wasn't in pain from it and she wasn't scared of me exactly, more surprised and shocked that I was able to react so violently because she'd never seen it in me before (we've been together getting on for three years), and she didn't really know what she'd done to set it off.

    Then, for the first time, I told her why I don't like people touching my neck ... only I said it was a family member when he was drunk, and that I wouldn't be specifying which family member because he regretted it and sought help (few tee-totallers in the family, so it won't be obvious) so it was in the past as far as I'm concerned.

    She was horrified that the reason I have such an aversion to it is because someone tried to strangle me, and said she would have never tried anything with the neck if she'd known.

    I won't go into details about what happened next, but suffice to say that she didn't try to touch my neck on purpose. However, she did accidentally brush it whilst fluffing my hair up ... and, for the first time, I didn't mind. I wouldn't say I enjoyed it and still don't think anything neck-related will ever be on the cards, but I didn't flinch away either.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ok, before everyone starts shouting abuse and how I should turn myself into the police, you need to know the whole context, and understand that it was entirely an accident.

    You may or may not have read the thread, but I'm the person who hates having their neck touched ... and my girlfriend likes to touch and kiss my neck. So, in order to get over this, we were trying something where I would be totally relaxed and trusting of her, and then she would slowly touch my neck to see how I'd respond.

    So, I was trusting and relaxed. I was so very relaxed, I was in a completely different headspace and, to be honest here, I forgot she was there with me. I even forgot I was there. Then she touched my neck, and brought me out of it very suddenly...

    I really did just act on instinct and, in an attempt to get the 'attacker' away from me, I hit out ... and caught her. It was only after that that I even remembered it would be my girlfriend, and as soon as I realised I was stroking and kissing where I'd hit her, getting the ice, cuddling her and apologising.

    She said she was all right with it and she understood I hadn't meant to violently attack her, even that she should have gone slower and not taken me by surprise.

    However, since then, she hasn't responded to my texts or be as active in conversations, she seems jumpy around me, she was hesistant to get in a car with, she doesn't sleep half laying on me anymore...

    I don't know what to do - I really didn't mean to hit her, and I love her so much ... but I think I've scared her, and I'm probably one of the most non-violent people you could meet. Is there anything I can do to make it up to her?

    TL;DR version: Accidentally hit my girlfriend in circumstances that are IMO completely understandable. Not a violent person, but now she seems scared of me - anything I can do about it?
    Ok.I'm going to give you the benifit of the doubt. I dont think your trolling email her the link to this thread so she can see how you really feel.Your gonna have to earn her trust again you acted on instinct now she is she is using a core instinct to avoid pain it's hard wired into all our brains well except from sadists.

    Good luck

    I've done retarded things too

    regards Tom
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ok, I've spent the time since my last post talking to her. Apologised to her again for it and got her to open up about it - she assured me she wasn't in pain from it and she wasn't scared of me exactly, more surprised and shocked that I was able to react so violently because she'd never seen it in me before (we've been together getting on for three years), and she didn't really know what she'd done to set it off.

    Then, for the first time, I told her why I don't like people touching my neck ... only I said it was a family member when he was drunk, and that I wouldn't be specifying which family member because he regretted it and sought help (few tee-totallers in the family, so it won't be obvious) so it was in the past as far as I'm concerned.

    She was horrified that the reason I have such an aversion to it is because someone tried to strangle me, and said she would have never tried anything with the neck if she'd known.

    I won't go into details about what happened next, but suffice to say that she didn't try to touch my neck on purpose. However, she did accidentally brush it whilst fluffing my hair up ... and, for the first time, I didn't mind. I wouldn't say I enjoyed it and still don't think anything neck-related will ever be on the cards, but I didn't flinch away either.
    I was going to say, you took your sweet time telling her the real reason.

    could've avoided chris-browning her if you weren't such a girl about it
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    #1

    (Original post by AwsomePossum)
    Ok.I'm going to give you the benifit of the doubt. I dont think your trolling email her the link to this thread so she can see how you really feel.Your gonna have to earn her trust again you acted on instinct now she is she is using a core instinct to avoid pain it's hard wired into all our brains well except from sadists.

    Good luck

    I've done retarded things too

    regards Tom
    Why would I make such an un-funny troll? Also, it's masochists that enjoy pain; sadists enjoy causing it (and no, I'm not a sadist.)

    Anyway, I've spoken to her - see the post above your own.
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    (Original post by aws)
    I was going to say, you took your sweet time telling her the real reason.

    could've avoided chris-browning her if you weren't such a girl about it
    Who is Chris Brown?

    And I wasn't being 'such a girl about it', I was protecting my friend from her reporting him to the police - she doesn't like him anyway, I doubt this would help.

    To be honest, I wasn't intending to tell her tonight ... but it just seemed right to, and the 'drunken relative' occured to me in the moment.
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    Domestic abuse LAD
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Who is Chris Brown?

    And I wasn't being 'such a girl about it', I was protecting my friend from her reporting him to the police - she doesn't like him anyway, I doubt this would help.

    To be honest, I wasn't intending to tell her tonight ... but it just seemed right to, and the 'drunken relative' occured to me in the moment.
    why even say relative?

    why would you even need to say friend?

    a bit late now, but a simple "I got strangled by someone" would have done, heck just say "it was at a party, some random drunk dude"

    now she's going to wonder which relative.

    really didn't occur to you to mention this incident even if the details were wrong prior to today?
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    I know u feel bad about it, but if I was her I think i'd be scared too
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    Chris Brown (singer)

    and his punchbag called Rihanna

    http://www.whudat.com/news/images/ri...-photo-big.jpg
    • #1
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    #1

    (Original post by aws)
    why even say relative?

    why would you even need to say friend?

    a bit late now, but a simple "I got strangled by someone" would have done, heck just say "it was at a party, some random drunk dude"

    now she's going to wonder which relative.

    really didn't occur to you to mention this incident even if the details were wrong prior to today?
    I don't go to parties, and she'd find it hard to believe even I wouldn't report a random mugger. She won't be wondering which family member, because I don't speak to half of my family (so she'll just assume it's there and that she'll never meet him) and she understands I don't want to dwell on it.

    Like I say, she would have reported him to the police if she'd even thought it was him (not usually a good liar, kind of surprised myself tonight) and, to be honest, I didn't think the root of it had anything to do with her.

    (Original post by oh-sugarrr)
    I know u feel bad about it, but if I was her I think i'd be scared too
    What about it specifically would scare you? Imagine this is someone you've spent nearly three years of your life with, who has never shouted, never thrown his arms around in anger, always tried to make your life easier and help your pain. In fact, the only time you've seen him angry is when he tackled the mugger that stole your bag. You already know he has a problem with this one part of his body.

    Why would an out-of-character one-off reaction to that part being touched scare you?
 
 
 
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