Would anyone else not want their gf to give them a bj? Watch

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judi_lover
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#101
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#101
(Original post by Anonymous)
I really would never like my girl friend to give me a blow job, its nothing to do with hygiene, i just think its degrading. Before people say that its "normal" to ask for a bj or anal sex, its not, the mouth and anus are not sexual organs ~ if my gf ever started id ask her to stop and id explain why, anyone else feel the same way or are you all for it?

Just curious.
id personally much prefer to hav great sex wit a girl, and make her happy at the same time as keeping me happy

but no probs wit bjs
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Anonymous #7
#102
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#102
I kind of agree with the OP, I think perhaps the media has portrayed BJs as a submissive, demeaning thing because of a**hole rap stars like Nelly and Usher who seem to just demand it of women and then discard them afterwards, as if it's some kind of required payment for being in their videos/hanging out with them etc. I can also see what you mean about how you might see your girlfriend differently afterwards... :eek: embarrassing!

I personally won't do it to my boyf because I have a weird thing about hygiene (I think it's almost verging on OCD), and just find the whole idea of it disgusting. The one time he offered to do it to me I said no, because it's kind of rude if I'm never going to reciprocate right?! I don't know, I think I have some sort of psychological problem and my boyf thinks I'm an utter freak because of it, but there we go! :rolleyes:
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sandra
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#103
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#103
(Original post by Anonymous)
I kind of agree with the OP, I think perhaps the media has portrayed BJs as a submissive, demeaning thing because of a**hole rap stars like Nelly and Usher who seem to just demand it of women and then discard them afterwards, as if it's some kind of required payment for being in their videos/hanging out with them etc. I can also see what you mean about how you might see your girlfriend differently afterwards... eek: embarrassing!

I personally won't do it to my boyf because I have a weird thing about hygiene (I think it's almost verging on OCD), and just find the whole idea of it disgusting. The one time he offered to do it to me I said no, because it's kind of rude if I'm never going to reciprocate right?! I don't know, I think I have some sort of psychological problem and my boyf thinks I'm an utter freak because of it, but there we go! :rolleyes:
what do u mean by whats written in bold?
why wud u see her any diffrently? an diff in what way?
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Anonymous #7
#104
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#104
(Original post by Anonymous)
I think its kind of related to submission actually ~ i would just never want to humiliate my girl friend like that and put her on the spot.

I guess people just don't think it being undignifying, or maybe i just think of her elegantly more then others do to theirs.
The OP said that a few pages back, that's what I was referring to. I just think that if it was me I wouldn't be cool with looking my boyf in the eye after he'd been down there for any extended length of time...you see what I mean? :rolleyes:
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Pretty Boy
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#105
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#105
IMO whilst I agree that it feels good to receive, I would appreciate it more that my g/f had so much respect for herself that she wouldn't do it.

There is something degrading about it that I don't think anyone can deny.
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Anonymous #1
#106
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#106
well thats my opinion, but quite a lot of people argue against it being degrading ~ you cant prove to someone why its degrading or why it isn't, its one of those things thats down to your values. But its cool that there are a few people (guys) who agree with me now.

Maybe you can, ill try and think about it some more soon...but thats my position at the moment
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Anonymous #1
#107
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#107
ok so a quick thought could be this:

You know when people say it gives the girl power ~ well it doesn't if your in a decent relationship because that won't even cross either of your minds that she could just damage an organ..although it does give her some control on the motion..but not always actually.

Anyway, lets say its a submissive act on the girls behalf, for me, sex is an act symbolizing your love for one another, mutualistic love. And when some one is overly submissive, like when giving a blowjob to someone she loves (and so not wanting to dismember him :P ) she loses some of the dominance that i would want her to have.

although ~ this can also mean that she is symbolising sacrificing dominance for her partner's please, an act of comprimise...so i guess this doesnt really work and reinstates that you cant prove its degrading or not

ah well, thoughd i post it down anyway.
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Anonymous #8
#108
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#108
agree. most men wouldn't suck their own dong so why they expect a woman to is beyond me.
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SilverWings
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#109
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#109
(Original post by Anonymous)
ok so a quick thought could be this:

You know when people say it gives the girl power ~ well it doesn't if your in a decent relationship because that won't even cross either of your minds that she could just damage an organ..although it does give her some control on the motion..but not always actually.

Anyway, lets say its a submissive act on the girls behalf, for me, sex is an act symbolizing your love for one another, mutualistic love. And when some one is overly submissive, like when giving a blowjob to someone she loves (and so not wanting to dismember him :P ) she loses some of the dominance that i would want her to have.

although ~ this can also mean that she is symbolising sacrificing dominance for her partner's please, an act of comprimise...so i guess this doesnt really work and reinstates that you cant prove its degrading or not

ah well, thoughd i post it down anyway.
I don't think it is at all a submissive or dominant act. It's oral sex. A lot of people do it. A lot of people LIKE to give and recieve it and to say it is degrading to a couple where it is commonplace is just wrong.

If you wouldn't like it. Fair enough. If that is how it feels for you. Fair enough.

But I think you only don't like it because of the position it puts you and your girlfriend in, and the views on submissing/dominating.

At the end of the day when I give and/or recieve oral sex, I don't see it as anything but what it is. Me trying to please the person I am with or them trying to please me. I don't see the big deal about it.
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Anonymous #1
#110
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#110
yeah, but its different for people who aren't heterosexually oriented, because theres isnt much other choice so no doubt you have that view..
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SilverWings
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#111
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#111
(Original post by Anonymous)
yeah, but its different for people who aren't heterosexually oriented, because theres isnt much other choice so no doubt you have that view..
But I also have been in heterosexual relationships and felt the EXACT same.
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Anonymous #1
#112
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#112
no doubt i used to think i was in a very small minority, but it seems that quite a few people do share my opinion, albeit mainly girls i think its a 3:1 split.
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Anonymous #1
#113
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#113
thing is, because its a really common thing to do, mainstream reasoning tells us to keep hush
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Pretty Boy
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#114
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#114
(Original post by Anonymous)
thing is, because its a really common thing to do, mainstream reasoning tells us to keep hush
Thats because they don't want to feel that they are viewed differently as a result of their actions which were taken in good faith.

Thats fair enough, but also naive.
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SilverWings
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#115
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#115
You're reading too much into it.

If I want to give someone sexual pleasure then I may very well choose to use my mouth instead of my hands, or my hands instead of my penis [if I was a guy].

What difference does it make?? It's only an sexually submissive/dominant act if you make it!!
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Anonymous #9
#116
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#116
I agree with you anon 1.
If you really care for the person then you would treat the person with respect and not make her go down on you ...
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SilverWings
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#117
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#117
(Original post by Anonymous)
I agree with you anon 1.
If you really care for the person then you would treat the person with respect and not make her go down on you ...
I agree with the part in bold completely

But what if you're NOT making her. What if she wants to?? Still say no??

Surely telling her NOT to do what she wants is also wrong to do. You're restricting her.
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Anonymous #1
#118
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#118
(Original post by LiverSwings)
You're reading too much into it.

If I want to give someone sexual pleasure then I may very well choose to use my mouth instead of my hands, or my hands instead of my penis [if I was a guy].

What difference does it make?? It's only an sexually submissive/dominant act if you make it!!
i guess i just generally think about everything i do with my partner ~ some may say too much, but im glad i do it.... and excellant anon #9
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la fille danse
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#119
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#119
(Original post by LiverSwings)
Surely telling her NOT to do what she wants is also wrong to do. You're restricting her.
Erm, your right to do what you want ends where another person's body begins.

Would you also argue that it's wrong for a woman to tell a man not to do what he wants to do (to her), because it's "restricting him"?
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Mangaroo
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#120
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#120
funny how thats more clear (ethically) than the other example
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