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    (Original post by British199)
    I should have not clicked on this thread, as a virgin it is putting me off sex. :'(
    Ha ha ha same.
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    #1

    (Original post by EMassey)
    I had no pain whatsoever, no blood, no discomfort etc. It was an entirely forgettable experience. (Then I went on the pill and had over two months of constant period so when I next did it...it was 23894920384 times better!) I was quite disappointed in that respect after everything I'd heard, although after reading some of the accounts in this post I think I'm very lucky. It probably helps that my boyfriend is/was somewhat experienced.

    I had had things up "there" before (not of the 18+ kind I hasten to add!) and I think that helped considerably. I would not want to go into my first experience of sex without some kind of notion as to what that feels like.

    It sounds stupid but relaxing is essential, if you're tense you are much more likely to tighten up your muscles even unconsciously.
    If you don't mind me asking and it's not too personal - what kind of things had you had up there? As I want to do everything to make it as painless as possible.
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    (Original post by Type 052D)
    It destroys traditional family values. It encourages affairs in relationships and adultery It sponsors society to be become decedent and immoral.
    Not true.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    If you don't mind me asking and it's not too personal - what kind of things had you had up there? As I want to do everything to make it as painless as possible.
    Well initially I mean fingers for example, a certain amount of fingering on more than one occasion is guaranteed to make you more relaxed and open and looser if you don't mind me saying and it isn't a bad thing in this case. This can also break the hymen and therefore can mean a little bleeding. However there is also every possibility that your hymen is already broken through different activities (horse riding can!?) or using tampons.

    The following is a little crude:
    Spoiler:
    Show
    I did a certain amount of experimenting way before I even met my boyfriend and so I have used objects like the handle of a hairbrush. Go slow and use lube if possible if you want to try that though.


    Hope that helps.

    If you want to know anything else, PM me.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks for all your replies guys. Another question - is there anything I can do leading up to my first time I can do to make it less painful?
    Lube.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks... does that make much of a difference? Like if I'm relaxed will it hurt a lot less? And what things can I do like leading up to it, like days before if you know what I mean... can I sort of "loosen" it down there?
    Lube! And lots of fingering first put lube on condom too should hurt less


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    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by EMassey)
    Well initially I mean fingers for example, a certain amount of fingering on more than one occasion is guaranteed to make you more relaxed and open and looser if you don't mind me saying and it isn't a bad thing in this case. This can also break the hymen and therefore can mean a little bleeding. However there is also every possibility that your hymen is already broken through different activities (horse riding can!?) or using tampons.

    The following is a little crude:
    Spoiler:
    Show
    I did a certain amount of experimenting way before I even met my boyfriend and so I have used objects like the handle of a hairbrush. Go slow and use lube if possible if you want to try that though.


    Hope that helps.

    If you want to know anything else, PM me.
    Ok thanks, I've tried fingering but so far can only get two fingers up there... is that normal? Can't seem to fit three up there at all, two seems to be the limit. And may try that to loosen up down there. And feel free to PM back your answer if you want, I just want to remain anonymous hence why I'm replying on here! Thanks x
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have a question: do you bleed during or after :confused:
    Please dont take the piss i dont actually know
    I've been wondering the same thing actually!
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    #29

    (Original post by Classical Liberal)
    Tip. Be a bit drunk. And turned on. Not "relaxed". If you are "relaxed" you are not in the mood for sex. Your pussy won't be wet and responsive to something going in it.
    Erm, I'm wondering how you came to this conclusion?! :eek:

    Being a relaxed male may mean you are not turned on but as a female (From experience, I'm female) you can be 'relaxed' AND 'turned on' and 'wet'. Being relaxed is about not being tense, if a girl is tense, they tighten their muscles naturally. From experience I'd argue a girl needs to relax before she can be turned on at all.
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    #29

    I lost my virginity at 16, we had been together 3 months, he too was 16. It was not painful, nor did I bleed. However I had done 'other things' leading up to it. Make sure you do lots of foreplay beforehand not just on the day, but days before so you can explore each others bodies and see what works and doesn't work in turning each other on and you can be relaxed around each other. Make sure he is patient and vice versa.

    Like someone posted before, you will know when you are ready, because you will REALLY want it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Erm, I'm wondering how you came to this conclusion?! :eek:

    Being a relaxed male may mean you are not turned on but as a female (From experience, I'm female) you can be 'relaxed' AND 'turned on' and 'wet'. Being relaxed is about not being tense, if a girl is tense, they tighten their muscles naturally. From experience I'd argue a girl needs to relax before she can be turned on at all.
    My point is, just coming out of say a nice hot "relaxing" bath is not a great time to have sex. I mean you should not be all mellow and chilled out. You should ideally be worked up and very aroused.

    You are less likely to get all tense if you are thinking "yes, **** me, put your ****ing **** inside me now" rather than "I'm so 'relaxed' I could fall asleep".

    All these people who say it was kinda awkward and a bit unpleasant probably were not turned on enough and were just going through the motions.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I lost my virginity at 16, we had been together 3 months, he too was 16. It was not painful, nor did I bleed. However I had done 'other things' leading up to it. Make sure you do lots of foreplay beforehand not just on the day, but days before so you can explore each others bodies and see what works and doesn't work in turning each other on and you can be relaxed around each other. Make sure he is patient and vice versa.

    Like someone posted before, you will know when you are ready, because you will REALLY want it.

    What other things did you do leading up to it?
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    (Original post by Dee Leigh)
    Oh no :console:

    I'm a virgin and that sounds so scary. I know that sounds silly but it does.
    You'll be fine, it sounds worse than it was if I make sense.
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    (Original post by Jabberwox)
    Reading this thread is making me cringe and worry (I'm still a virgin).
    same :cry:
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    #30

    My first time didn't hurt. It was by no means mind-blowing but it was fun. I wanted to do it again straight after, and we did!

    I'd recommend:

    - Doing it with someone you are close to and trust. I know not everyone has to or wants to be "in love", but at the very least I think they need to be a friend, someone you don't feel nervous of, that you don't have to put on pretences with.

    - Escalating your sexual activities with the person first. The more you&they have seen and done the less of a step sex will be, and the less nerve wracking it will be. And frankly, if you've done a lot of "insertive" activities then it won't hurt and it won't bleed - because you will have gradually stretched out your downstairs already.

    - Don't put massive pressure on yourself or your partner. Keep it relaxed and don't have unrealistic expectations. Don't do it if you can't laugh about it.

    - As always, stay safe and use protection!
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    #29


    (Original post by Classical Liberal)
    My point is, just coming out of say a nice hot "relaxing" bath is not a great time to have sex. I mean you should not be all mellow and chilled out. You should ideally be worked up and very aroused.

    You are less likely to get all tense if you are thinking "yes, **** me, put your ****ing **** inside me now" rather than "I'm so 'relaxed' I could fall asleep".

    All these people who say it was kinda awkward and a bit unpleasant probably were not turned on enough and were just going through the motions.
    Being relaxed in psychology is referred to a state of low tension and being aroused (turned on) is a response (Physiological) to stimuli. You can be in a state of low tension and be aroused at the same time. If I'm not relaxed (low in tension) there is no way a guy is putting a d*** near me. Have you ever tried having sex when a girl is tense? You turn the girl on (arousal), she relaxes her tension and muscles ready for you to have sex. It seems a pretty simple explanation to me.

    I agree, they probably weren't turned on enough, if you are turned on you are usually relaxed, and not feeling tense. If you don't get it after this explanation I think you are trolling me. I'm sure I the overwhelming response to try and relax from other females pretty much backs this up.
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    Ok guys, so today I decided to finger myself, still sort of trying to loosen myself down there and get used to the feeling of something being there. Just wondering where exactly the hymen is? Is it right at the front, like as soon as you go in? Cos I can feel some stretchy skin around, and it feels quite elastic and I can pull on it etc. So anyway, I can easily fit 2 fingers in, 3 at a push if I'm wet, though with 3 I can't really move them around. I'm just wondering if you guys think my hymen might be pretty stretched already? I'm a tiny bit sore now but not really, I just sort of fingered myself as much as possible to get used to the feeling of something being down there. Does it sound like it's stretched already? Do you think sex will hurt the first time for me?
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    #31

    I was 15 when I lost my virginity, I a bush/park near my school at about half 4 in the evening - classy, I know. The guy was 16 or 17 and the biggest d**k in the world but I suppose at the time I thought it was what everyone was doing and therefore okay to just do it. I was completely sober.
    I think it was painful at first and I did bleed quite a bit afterwards but the biggest pain came from the scratches and insect bites on my legs afterwards so the only advice I can give is don't ever do it in a bush.. Especially if it is your first time. But like someone earlier said, I think virginity should be taken off a pedestal and treated like a normal part of life that one day we mostly all 'lose' - although technically we don't lose it because we know where it goes. I think the longer you spend thinking and worrying about doing it for the first time, the harder it will be as you will make yourself more and more nervous. Ignore what other people say about the pain and "ripping open" or whatever and just deal with it when it happens but in your own time - never ever ever ever feel like you have to.
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    (Original post by Dee Leigh)
    Oh no :console:

    I'm a virgin and that sounds so scary. I know that sounds silly but it does.
    Don't listen to scaremonger stories like this, it's really not that bad, especially if you're fully relaxed and ready.

    Some people just have weaker pain thresholds or convince themselves that it really hurts just because they've heard from other people that it will.
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    Why the hell has the first post been negged?
 
 
 
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