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Guys; Do you like it when women approach you first? Watch

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    (Original post by Telecaster Steak)
    A lot of people on this thread seem to think that shy people choose to be shy, and that it's just a character trait that can be changed.

    There's a difference between shyness and introversion
    Shyness= scared to socialise
    Introversion= not interested in socialising

    Shy guys are cursed to live in a society where men are expected to make the move.

    Shy men may need help to overcome their shyness, and having a girl make a move could be the thing that finally cures them.
    Girls: you could save a life by making a move with a shy guy.

    inb4 alpha male bull****
    Shyness can be changed, you're not born with it. I used to be incredibly meek - like super, duper, weasel boy. Didn't help that I were quite attractive too during my early-mid teens. In fact being attractive and shy made things worse for me - because when girls did talk to me, it's like they're talking to a pretty wallpaper that has nothing to add to the conversation. I could barely say a word.

    To be honest, both genders could do a world of good by displaying interest - but because girls are rarely if ever direct, I take the direct approach in asking them out simply because it works. I will admit it does show confidence and balls if a girl asks me out.

    I have a question for the shy guys in this fred - would you be more willing to date a girl if she approached you, regardless of whether she's attractive or not?
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    (Original post by Spontogical)
    Shyness can be changed, you're not born with it. I used to be incredibly meek - like super, duper, weasel boy. Didn't help that I were quite attractive too during my early-mid teens. In fact being attractive and shy made things worse for me - because when girls did talk to me, it's like they're talking to a pretty wallpaper that has nothing to add to the conversation. I could barely say a word.

    To be honest, both genders could do a world of good by displaying interest - but because girls are rarely if ever direct, I take the direct approach in asking them out simply because it works. I will admit it does show confidence and balls if a girl asks me out.

    I have a question for the shy guys in this fred - would you be more willing to date a girl if she approached you, regardless of whether she's attractive or not?
    I'm not really shy, but if she approached me and was not attractive then I'd probably just become friends with her as I believe you need to find your partner attractive in a relationship, even if others don't agree to that statement.
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    all the crap about society and boys asking girls out rule is crap, if a guy likes a girl he will ask her out, if a girl likes a boy she will as him out, no big deal..
    i personally would never see that as a sign of desperation or anything. im a guy and i asked out many girls. most of them were my gf the next hour, because i only go for it if i see that there is a chance, but quite a few of them rejected me too. i have also been asked out by girls many time, and let me tell you one of them girls was the best i ever had!
    so stop this crap about boys thinking girls are desperate for asking girls out. it always feels good so know someone likes you, EVEN IF A GAY MAN ASKS YOU OUT!
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    (Original post by Lucia.)
    Yes I agree. And to add something to that, it's not because you think that men should or that you don't want to make a move. Sometimes I do want to but I don't because it's not very difficult for a woman to come across as 'desperate' or 'easy'. Some men will see an approach as an action which elicits sexual attention.
    More often than not, initiating contact with men is a watermark for promiscuous women. Men are more in control when responsible for making an approach - they face more (superficial) rejection, but they are able to choose the women they are interested in. Women have the luxury of not approaching, but are dependent on the men who choose to approach them.
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    (Original post by Millie228)
    More often than not, initiating contact with men is a watermark for promiscuous women. Men are more in control when responsible for making an approach - they face more (superficial) rejection, but they are able to choose the women they are interested in. Women have the luxury of not approaching, but are dependent on the men who choose to approach them.
    That is true. Although you can make slightly less black and white. A woman can do an indirect and not look as if she's approaching. It's important to learn how to master that because not all men have such unassailable confidence that they'll approach without some kind of indication of interest from her. But I'm sure this is something you wouldn't discount. It can be really tricky with men because what seems really obvious to us, won't come across at all to them. I read somewhere that men don't instantly respond to a glance from a woman and that you have to look at them for several seconds before they become aware that you're flirting with them. At the same time, what seems merely friendly to us - like walking towards a man and starting a conversation with him would come across as very direct.
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    (Original post by Spontogical)
    Shyness can be changed, you're not born with it. I used to be incredibly meek - like super, duper, weasel boy. Didn't help that I were quite attractive too during my early-mid teens. In fact being attractive and shy made things worse for me - because when girls did talk to me, it's like they're talking to a pretty wallpaper that has nothing to add to the conversation. I could barely say a word.
    I can relate to this.

    There was also times for me when they were teasing me and trying to have fun with me and I took it way too seriously and thought they were trying to belittle me, rather than recognising it for an indicator of interest.

    Shyness is a disease, tbh.
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    (Original post by Alimbo95)
    Cheer up fella, you just need to pick yourself up and be more confident in yourself, accept yourself for who you are and be happy. It will work wonders.
    Thanks =) I was just really low yesterday. Trying to do more exercise etc as that helps.

    Thanks also Jimbo =)
    I agree about the online dating. I'm going to leave it.
    Certainly not planning on emigrating though ha.

    To answer another question, if I was interested in a girl and she approached me, yes I would become more interested =)
    I really want to ask this girl to hang out but we work together, I've known her for a while but have only recently started to change my thoughts about her (like a year or more) but I have no idea if she'd want me to and things would be awkward if not.
    She knows I like her though. She must do, so surely she could ask me too? =(
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    (Original post by georose)
    Hahaha, thank you. I'm glad I'm not the only one who gives points if they support Arsenal.
    You support Arsenal? you have good taste in football lol - Arsenal all the way!!
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    (Original post by McCaffery)
    You support Arsenal? you have good taste in football lol - Arsenal all the way!!
    I definitely do! Haha thank you, you have good taste in football too.
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    (Original post by georose)
    I definitely do! Haha thank you, you have good taste in football too.
    Well hopefully they will do abit better next season:rolleyes:
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    (Original post by McCaffery)
    Well hopefully they will do abit better next season:rolleyes:
    We're finishing 3rd - just you wait and see. :ahee:
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    (Original post by Lucia.)
    There's plenty of shy douchebags as well.
    And confident shy guys as well.
    (Yes, there is a difference)
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    (Original post by xStaceyy)
    So I read these forums a lot and there always seems to be questions from guys asking how to approach a girl they like or what to say to let her know that he likes her.
    Sometimes you'll find a thread from a girl saying she really likes this guy but he won't ask her out or whatever. Its pretty rare to see a thread where a girl is asking for advice about how to ask a guy out. Kinda interesting to me!

    So really my question is; Guys, do you prefer to make the first move or do you like it when a girl is confident and asks you out first?
    I do, because I am not very good at initiating conversations or especially making 'the move'. If they approach me, I will be far more receptive as I'll know I'm not harassing them with my presence. I also think it's a bit outdated to think it has to be the man to do it.
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    Who are these mythical creatures? They really exist??? I thought these women were sort of figures of legend like Robin Hood.
 
 
 
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