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    (Original post by drbluebox)
    15 minute drive not walk, about 2 and a half miles from station.

    Just had knock on door from neighbour apologising saying his niece turned up as its her birthday but they did plan to finish by midnight anyway, he did ask if I phoned but I said no.

    He did say he was going to ask me to come up for a few.

    He did say the police turned up in car, so they must of been in area.

    Silence now apart from talking which is fine.
    Oh he could have at least given you the heads up before hand. Hope you can relax now
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    Oo shiny new thread. Not a bad day really, went shopping with a friend that I haven't seen in months. Bought some pjs as I seem to live in them at the moment. :ninja:. She asked how bad I felt when I I decided to take time out from uni and I didn't know how to say that I wasn't safe, don't think she would have understood or believed me. Settled on saying that it was really bad and changing the subject. Don't think she noticed.

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    (Original post by VaVe)
    Oo shiny new thread. Not a bad day really, went shopping with a friend that I haven't seen in months. Bought some pjs as I seem to live in them at the moment. :ninja:. She asked how bad I felt when I I decided to take time out from uni and I didn't know how to say that I wasn't safe, don't think she would have understood or believed me. Settled on saying that it was really bad and changing the subject. Don't think she noticed.

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    Sounds like you had a nice day shopping, who doesn't love PJs I have to sets one for bed and one for lounging around the house
    I know how you feel I always try to change the subject when they're not going to be supportive or even understand. I have this one friend who always gets me and knows when I am trying to avoid the question, which is a good thing and sucks sometimes lol
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    (Original post by VaVe)
    Oo shiny new thread. Not a bad day really, went shopping with a friend that I haven't seen in months. Bought some pjs as I seem to live in them at the moment. :ninja:. She asked how bad I felt when I I decided to take time out from uni and I didn't know how to say that I wasn't safe, don't think she would have understood or believed me. Settled on saying that it was really bad and changing the subject. Don't think she noticed.

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    :hugs: I'm glad you had an ok day with your friend, though sorry you don't think she would understand. I think telling people about suicidality is one of the hardest things for me, because I struggle when people don't understand but it's almost worse when they DO, cos if they care they generally go all upset.

    I'm seeing the new mental health advisor they've appointed at the university counselling service here tomorrow - seems that she'll be functioning like a CPN for me (GP referred me to the CMHT here, but CMHT said since the UCS have got an experienced CPN on board, why don't you see her and see if she can help) so will post about how that goes. I think the MHAs normally see students after they have returned from intermitting on MH grounds, so I'll give you a heads up on what she's like. The other one (now "senior MHA") was perfectly nice, but said she couldn't do anything to help me, so I'm really hoping this one is a little more useful. I'm not sure what I want or need from her, but it would be good to have someone I could make urgent crisis appointments with when that is necessary, or possibly just to touch base with every now and again and make sure I'm still eating and functioning. Really just hoping she will be a "safe" person, since I could do with one of them atm.
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    (Original post by SirHas)
    Sounds like you had a nice day shopping, who doesn't love PJs I have to sets one for bed and one for lounging around the house
    I know how you feel I always try to change the subject when they're not going to be supportive or even understand. I have this one friend who always gets me and knows when I am trying to avoid the question, which is a good thing and sucks sometimes lol
    My friend is supportive of most things but her reaction to me telling her I had depression was "oh my mum had that, is your doctor sure?" Since her mum got better fairly quickly without medication she thinks im over reacting a lot of the time.

    (Original post by asdfgah)
    :hugs: I'm glad you had an ok day with your friend, though sorry you don't think she would understand. I think telling people about suicidality is one of the hardest things for me, because I struggle when people don't understand but it's almost worse when they DO, cos if they care they generally go all upset.

    I'm seeing the new mental health advisor they've appointed at the university counselling service here tomorrow - seems that she'll be functioning like a CPN for me (GP referred me to the CMHT here, but CMHT said since the UCS have got an experienced CPN on board, why don't you see her and see if she can help) so will post about how that goes. I think the MHAs normally see students after they have returned from intermitting on MH grounds, so I'll give you a heads up on what she's like. The other one (now "senior MHA") was perfectly nice, but said she couldn't do anything to help me, so I'm really hoping this one is a little more useful. I'm not sure what I want or need from her, but it would be good to have someone I could make urgent crisis appointments with when that is necessary, or possibly just to touch base with every now and again and make sure I'm still eating and functioning. Really just hoping she will be a "safe" person, since I could do with one of them atm.
    Yeah I'm thinking of linking her to the new hyperbole and a half post but not sure how well that would go.
    Fingers crossed about the MHA hope she's super safe for you, I will have to meet with her when I go back (one of the many hoops to jump through) and I suspect my tutor is going to push me towards UCS a lot more. To be fair my GP did recommend going back in November but that would have required talking to people without having a panic attack which wasn't possible at the time.


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    I spent a couple of hours just watching things and not thinking about anything with my OH and I was feeling a bit better. Went to print out the job specification for my interview tomorrow.and in the Person Specification it states it is DESIRABLE to have a driving licence however I must have missed in the Job Description where it says "Candidate must drive as they will be transporting paperwork between buildings". So there's basically no point me going because I don't drive. P***ed off is not the word.
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    (Original post by Delain)
    I spent a couple of hours just watching things and not thinking about anything with my OH and I was feeling a bit better. Went to print out the job specification for my interview tomorrow.and in the Person Specification it states it is DESIRABLE to have a driving licence however I must have missed in the Job Description where it says "Candidate must drive as they will be transporting paperwork between buildings". So there's basically no point me going because I don't drive. P***ed off is not the word.
    Ohh no that totally sucks I would call and state you don't have a licence, it's better than not just showing up at all.
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    I will try to if I get up in time but I doubt I will. I sleep a LOT when I'm depressed.
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    (Original post by Delain)
    I spent a couple of hours just watching things and not thinking about anything with my OH and I was feeling a bit better. Went to print out the job specification for my interview tomorrow.and in the Person Specification it states it is DESIRABLE to have a driving licence however I must have missed in the Job Description where it says "Candidate must drive as they will be transporting paperwork between buildings". So there's basically no point me going because I don't drive. P***ed off is not the word.
    Annoying but ALL interview experience is a good thing, so try and go to it anyway. Maybe they can make arrangements such as public transport or something? If it's desirable in the job spec. then it's unreasonable to demand you have it later on.

    --

    Can't sleep. Scared of nightmares again.
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    Annoying but ALL interview experience is a good thing, so try and go to it anyway. Maybe they can make arrangements such as public transport or something? If it's desirable in the job spec. then it's unreasonable to demand you have it later on.

    --

    Can't sleep. Scared of nightmares again.
    It is quoted as desirable in the Person Spec but above in the description of duties it does specify it's compulsory. It's my own fault, I should have read more closely. I know it sounds silly but at the moment I don't have the money spare to go to an interview unless there is a reasonable chance of me getting the job (which there wouldn't be here).
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    (Original post by Delain)
    It is quoted as desirable in the Person Spec but above in the description of duties it does specify it's compulsory. It's my own fault, I should have read more closely. I know it sounds silly but at the moment I don't have the money spare to go to an interview unless there is a reasonable chance of me getting the job (which there wouldn't be here).
    How far away is it then? I still think if you can, you should go - they may have another position that they haven't yet advertised that you are better suited for, or they may have put compulsory by mistake. If you're looking for jobs anyway and can get there then it can't hurt :dontknow:
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    How far away is it then? I still think if you can, you should go - they may have another position that they haven't yet advertised that you are better suited for, or they may have put compulsory by mistake. If you're looking for jobs anyway and can get there then it can't hurt :dontknow:
    It's about an hour away. There's nobody who can take me so I'm reliant solely on public transport or taxis. I've applied to other jobs as it's with the NHS (none of those said anything about a driving license).
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    having a bad night, can't sleep and just really no idea what if any future I am supposed to have now, the only things keeping me going in life right now are my girlfriend, family and my political views and the utterly remote and feint hope they will come to fruition, which they won't, at all in fact, most likely the opposite will happen.

    **** knows what I would do if I didn't have my girlfriend and family to support me and stuff or my Socialism to believe in, without these things then the entity that is me ceases to exist for all intents and purposes.

    been acting like im all okay and strong to my girlfriend for last few weeks as well cause she is struggling herself, but I dont know how much longer I can keep that up (not much I guess as she's bound to read this so there you go. sigh.)

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    I think I should just accept I can't function as an actual adult human being and just not even try, gonna give control of my money and stuff to my mum and just live off whatever she lets me have cause I don't trust myself with money, on top of that just gonna do **** knows what, can't do Uni, definitely can't do a job, so I have no idea, I'm just a ****ing retarded ****ed up **** of a person.
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    (Original post by Delain)
    It's about an hour away. There's nobody who can take me so I'm reliant solely on public transport or taxis. I've applied to other jobs as it's with the NHS (none of those said anything about a driving license).
    Weird, I've never heard of an NHS job requiring a licence before; the ones here that require you to travel to other sites provide transport (shuttles between the three separate hospitals).
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    Weird, I've never heard of an NHS job requiring a licence before; the ones here that require you to travel to other sites provide transport (shuttles between the three separate hospitals).
    Me neither, that's why I was so shocked (and annoyed) by it.
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    (Original post by SciFiRory)
    having a bad night, can't sleep and just really no idea what if any future I am supposed to have now, the only things keeping me going in life right now are my girlfriend, family and my political views and the utterly remote and feint hope they will come to fruition, which they won't, at all in fact, most likely the opposite will happen.

    **** knows what I would do if I didn't have my girlfriend and family to support me and stuff or my Socialism to believe in, without these things then the entity that is me ceases to exist for all intents and purposes.

    been acting like im all okay and strong to my girlfriend for last few weeks as well cause she is struggling herself, but I dont know how much longer I can keep that up (not much I guess as she's bound to read this so there you go. sigh.)

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    I think I should just accept I can't function as an actual adult human being and just not even try, gonna give control of my money and stuff to my mum and just live off whatever she lets me have cause I don't trust myself with money, on top of that just gonna do **** knows what, can't do Uni, definitely can't do a job, so I have no idea, I'm just a ****ing retarded ****ed up **** of a person.
    :jumphug: sorry to hear you're feeling like this hun . I'm around at the moment on Skype and text, so if you want a chat you know where I am. You can do this, I've seen how strong you can be even if you haven't seen it yourself

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    of course you can function as an adult human. Everyone is different therefore functioning is different. I know you're having a tough time hun but I have no doubt you're gonna come through this. It might feel like there's not much in the future and that's impacting on you. But you are most DEFINITELY not a failure. You're an amazing, caring person. You've done so much for your girlfriend, as well as me and I'm sure many other people on this thread and real life. You really are awesome :console:


    Sorry for my bad reply am a bit sleepy and stuff


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    (Original post by Sarah')
    :jumphug: sorry to hear you're feeling like this hun . I'm around at the moment on Skype and text, so if you want a chat you know where I am. You can do this, I've seen how strong you can be even if you haven't seen it yourself

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    of course you can function as an adult human. Everyone is different therefore functioning is different. I know you're having a tough time hun but I have no doubt you're gonna come through this. It might feel like there's not much in the future and that's impacting on you. But you are most DEFINITELY not a failure. You're an amazing, caring person. You've done so much for your girlfriend, as well as me and I'm sure many other people on this thread and real life. You really are awesome :console:


    Sorry for my bad reply am a bit sleepy and stuff


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    thanks, I dunno I feel up to talking right now tbh, will reply on here when I can but just wanna lie down really and watch iPlayer on my headphones till I either sleep or my girlfriend wakes up in the morning. the thing is though I really aren't strong at all, believe me, I act it here and to people IRL cause I wanna help others out and I don't wanna drag them down cause of me or be a burden to them is all, but there's only so much and so long I can do that for

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    I really can't though, not been to Uni at all since December when I had a breakdown before I was sposed to have an exam...before that I missed a ton of lectures/seminars anyway due to not coping with how I felt, I have money issues that my mum and citizens advice are helping me with but even so I still have no money to do things with and stuff and I need money so just end up with more issues everything about being an adult human I just seem to fail awfully at, I can't deal with any kind of stress or pressure being on me or I breakdown as well so even if someone would employ me or let me get an education I would fail at it as well, **** knows what I will say to my GP when I next see them about Uni and what I do next. I have no idea what to do now either, I can't really go back to Uni and probably can't move Uni either, can't work for sure and I can't survive on my DLA alone, im already too much of a burden on both my parents as well


    that's okay, I not slept properly for ages myself either, though I guess I rarely do so this is normal haha, can't even do sleep properly, not to mention my diet which will likely mean I die very young haha.
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    Even though it's a really stupid time, just sat down and read course chapter. Feel better for doing that. Will try and sleep now.
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    I hate being pregnant. Hate it. Want to be normal.

    I told my course mates I couldn't take on extra work. Their response was "well can you suggest someone else who would be able to do it?" like a challenge. They are right. There is no one else. Only first years and they are not allowed as it is not their project. I feel ****. Don't want to go in today. I don't want the work. If I talk to my tutor I think I will have a breakdown.
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Wow, that sounds like some pretty severe tremors. :console: I'm on haloperidol and have some slight tremor in my hands but anticholinergics have got rid of that pretty much entirely. I'm sorry to hear you had such a reaction to aripiprazole but at least it's gone now that's really good. I haven't noticed any tremors on quetiapine and I'm on the max dose so I reckon you might be ok on that, although I understand completely your reluctance to try another antipsychotic. How are you managing now that you aren't on any? That's what worries me a lot about TD, if I got it what would things be like off of antipsychotics completely.
    It was pretty bad, I'm so glad to be off the aripiprazole now! The worst bit was that I went from 30mg to 5mg and still had really bad tremors, it just didn't agree with me at all. ;_; Apparently aripiprazole isn't even really supposed to be prescribed alongside citalopram, which I'm on the highest dose of.

    At the moment I'm doing okay. The psychosis was eventually diagnosed as being a part of severe psychotic depression. By the time I came off aripiprazole this episode was pretty much over, almost all of my psychotic symptoms had gone - I was still getting a few mild auditory hallucinations but they were benign in nature and infrequent so I was happy to sit it out. So at the moment my psychiatrist has me on the highest doses of citalopram and mirtazapine and is keeping a close eye in case the psychosis comes back. So far so good.

    The main problem is that if I relapse I'll almost certainly have to be back on antipsychotics, and (scarier) I'll almost certainly have at least a few weeks of psychosis without treatment. At the moment my CPN is doing a course in relapse prevention with me, but it definitely makes me a lot more scared of relapse than I would have been otherwise.
 
 
 
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