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Did I scare him by telling him I was in love with him? Watch

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    He's taking so long to reply back if he is going to reply.
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    I don't think is going to go anywhere, I'm afraid. It's definitely a bad sign that he's been back on the dating site, and I would take his line about not wanting to hurt you or himself as saying that he wants to end things now before you fall for him too deeply and get hurt when he leaves you... The long delays between replying show either that he's struggling to know what to say, or just not that bothered. Both of these suggest his feelings for you are not very deep at all.

    You do also sound very needy in your texts, I'm afraid. Asking "Do you still like me?" sounds rather childish and pathetic, and makes it clear to him that he has the power in the relationship; you seem dependent on him. Very bad.

    Honestly I think it would be best to cut your losses - tell him that you do care for him but don't want to be messed around. Say that you see he's been online on the dating site and that you don't have time for someone who doesn't know what they want.

    The surprise of it may shock him into realising he does want to be with you, but if so, you need to keep up being strong and independent. Do not be reliant on him - or any other man - for your happiness.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    What should I say.
    Should I say
    "I do care about you I thought you were a great guy thought we had a connection. But I don't want to be messed around and don't have time for someone who doesn't know what they want"

    or how can I say it? even if I end up texting it?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
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    or
    "Look you seemed like lovely guy I did care about you but now I don't know what you want and you're confusing me and I don't have time for someone who doesn't know what they want"

    Or how should I word it?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    What should I say.
    Should I say
    "I do care about you I thought you were a great guy thought we had a connection. But I don't want to be messed around and don't have time for someone who doesn't know what they want"

    or how can I say it? even if I end up texting it?
    That's fine, tell him that. Just be straight up with him and say what you want, no need to think about wording it differently.

    A bit of a **** move on his part tbh, is he thick as **** or something? All this time he's been telling you how he loves you and now finally when you reciprocate he's messing about?

    And does he not know that you can view has last online status and see that he's looking at other girls on the dating site? Just how thick is this guy... I think he just doesn't care enough or he would have responded to you when he read the messages.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    or
    "Look you seemed like lovely guy I did care about you but now I don't know what you want and you're confusing me and I don't have time for someone who doesn't know what they want"

    Or how should I word it?
    Yeah send that as well, actually it sounds better and you're giving him an ultimatum.
    • #1
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    He's not actually been online the dating site today I did delete my profile but I can still search. He's been on once today because his profile showed up on a earlier page. Like he hadn't been on in ages and now recently started going back. I can easily rejoin anyway.
    • #1
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    I'll send it later I'll see if he's at least thinking about it if i don't hear from him I'll send that today or tomorrow either way I don't know if I want to stay with him anyway.
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    I seriously wish you would go away and stop posting these stupid threads.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    What should I say.
    Should I say
    "I do care about you I thought you were a great guy thought we had a connection. But I don't want to be messed around and don't have time for someone who doesn't know what they want"

    or how can I say it? even if I end up texting it?
    Yeh I think you should say that, it'll give him a bit of kick up the bum, so to speak. If he does have feelings for you then hopefully it would make him realise that he doesn't want to lose you and get him to commit.
    Musie suzie's post is good advice.

    This situation actually reminds me of one I was in, when I was in a similar position to your boyfriend. We were seeing each other and had casually said 'I love you' before, but then she just suddenly said 'I'm in love with you' and stuff like that, it kinda shocked me and it seemed like it had got really serious. I wasn't sure if we were right for each other and I guess I was afraid of the commitment, as I hadnt been in a relationship before. So I ended up saying I wasn't sure if I was 'ready for a relationship yet'. But then after a while she started going out with someone else, and I realised what I was missing. In hindsight I wished I'd made it official with her rather than being afraid of comittment. I guess it's true what they say, you don't know what you've got till its gone.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    We've been together a month he's already said I love you to me a few times after about 2-3weeks and I never said it back just said I'm falling for him or really like him.
    Now I really have fallen for him. He hasn't said it in a while.
    "I know this sounds crazy scares me a little by saying it but I'm in love with you I know you've said it already just hope I don't scare you by saying this now like maybe you've changed your mind just wanted to tell you and I really mean it"

    I sent that to him on whatsapp then his last seen came up about a minute after and he didn't reply and hasn't been online again so nervous even more now.
    We've been speaking about for ages how we have such a great connection.
    When he told me he was in love with me he said "You can shout at me for being crazy but I'm really falling for you baby. Like really hard babe!!!xx"
    then said "I really think I'm falling in love with you (my name)" and has said it a few times and another time when he was drunk about 2 weeks ago.


    Have I scared him by saying that to him? I sent it 20mins ago he was online about a minute after and hasn't been online again. So worried now.
    I think he's one of those people who figure out that you'd fallen for him more by doing more actions (e.g talking to him more, hugging more, wanting to hold hands, talking in confidence). Saying all that in one by text for the first time can easily make him feel like you've only just started to like him now, especially that what you've sent him is very similar to what he sent to you.

    OR

    He might be cheating on you tbh.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    What should I say.
    Should I say
    "I do care about you I thought you were a great guy thought we had a connection. But I don't want to be messed around and don't have time for someone who doesn't know what they want"

    or how can I say it? even if I end up texting it?
    Yep, this sounds absolutely perfect. Definitely send him this. I would say sooner rather than later - you said in a later post you may wait till tomorrow, but I'm not sure what you'd be waiting for. Just get this sent and give yourself the upper hand.
    • #1
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    He's back online like right now this minute so it's clear he's not interested in me anymore and can face up to it and say it. Gonna send the message to him and then rejoin the site.
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    Sent it to him now.
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    (Original post by Journeyzap)
    You should say those things in person, and with confidence. Don't apologise when you make an admission like that to someone - but anyway, if he's said it you've probably got nothing to worry about.

    Personally I think 1 month is a bit early to tell someone you love them, unless you've known them for ages before.

    Either way,sure all will be well, he'll get back in touch, he might just be smiling like a fool wherever he is.
    I agree. Not sure why you were negged. It's a beautiful feeling to have, but one which - I think - takes more than a month to really mean something. I know people are different and emotions work and develop differently, but a month? 0_o either way, if he's said it to you, it should be fine. Whether he means it as strongly as you think is another question, but I can't see how you saying it would scare him off if he's said it. Either he's just quiet or he doesn't feel anything back anymore.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Sent it to him now.
    Well done, OP - I truly think it was the right, and best, thing to do. You really do deserve someone who is just focussed on you, and whose feelings for you are genuine. I hope you find that someone soon. All the best xx
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
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    Yeah he hasn;t got back to me on the reply probably won't I just really didn't want it to seem as if I'm waiting on him to make his mind up.
    Maybe this will shock him . If he's really interested the message shouldn't matter and he'll want me but I'm not gonna chase him.
    He knows I'm not sticking around waiting.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah he hasn;t got back to me on the reply probably won't I just really didn't want it to seem as if I'm waiting on him to make his mind up.
    Maybe this will shock him . If he's really interested the message shouldn't matter and he'll want me but I'm not gonna chase him.
    He knows I'm not sticking around waiting.
    Good for you girl. Chin up, you'll find someone.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I said this one "I do care about you thought you were a good guy. But I don't want to be messed around by someone who doesn't know what they want"
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
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    I'm so tempted to text him in a few days or something even a week.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    He hasn't said anything back since that message so maybe he's just not caring about doing anything or even saying anything back.
 
 
 
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