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How do girls feel about being approached in the street? Watch

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    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    I'm sorry, but you're very badly wrong. Please see the everyday sexism project for more details. Women do not appreciate being constantly harassed when they're just trying to go about their daily business.

    This is no laughing matter. Please do not harass strangers and make this country a less safe and pleasant place for us all to live in.
    Nobody's laughing and you're the one who has it wrong. What if I want to ask for directions, is that considered harassment? Should police come and arrest me for the simple act of attempting to initiate a conversation with people on the street?

    Harassment is defined as agressive and pressure-based intimidation. Flirting with people on the street (if done correctly) is not harassment. Hell, talking to people in general on the street isn't harassment.
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    (Original post by Ade9000)
    Nobody's laughing and you're the one who has it wrong. What if I want to ask for directions, is that considered harassment? Should police come and arrest me for the simple act of attempting to initiate a conversation with people on the street?

    Harassment is defined as agressive and pressure-based intimidation. Flirting with people on the street (if done correctly) is not harassment. Hell, talking to people in general on the street isn't harassment.
    Did you not read my previous post. Go back and read it again, more carefully this time.

    Of course you can ask for directions, unless its some kind of pathetic ruse to ask for a number of course.

    The police are unlikely to arrest you unless you're reported by one of your victims, but people will see what you're up to and start crossing the street to get away from you in case you start harassing them too.

    Can I ask you a question: how do you select your target? Do you stalk them for a while before approaching or do you use a simple scattergun approach?
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    Stfu girls, you're all bull****ting, how can u say that it "creeps" you out when a guy comes to you and gives you a compliment and make you feel special and better about yourself. At least give guys a chance, how else could they ever talk to you, how do you know your missing the love of your life if you don't give men a chance? This is ridiculous.

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    (Original post by f.loco)
    Stfu girls, you're all bull****ting, how can u say that it "creeps" you out when a guy comes to you and gives you a compliment and make you feel special and better about yourself. At least give guys a chance, how else could they ever talk to you, how do you know your missing the love of your life if you don't give men a chance? This is ridiculous.

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    The love of your life? You need to stop watching so many chick-flicks matey.

    Someone becomes the love of your life. They do not exist a priori, waiting for you to discover them like some kind of buried treasure.
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    (Original post by Petulia)
    And buying ONE drink doesn't make you weak, it's chivalry and how normal people initiate conversation
    Except that chivalry actually just meant he could rape you np if you weren't a noble woman.
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    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    The love of your life? You need to stop watching so many chick-flicks matey.

    Someone becomes the love of your life. They do not exist a priori, waiting for you to discover them like some kind of buried treasure.
    It was pretty obvious what the guy was trying to say. You could potentially be missing out on the love of your life.
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    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    Did you not read my previous post. Go back and read it again, more carefully this time.
    Very well. Let's do it.

    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    Lets be clear here: simply casually chatting to anyone, in an appropriate situation such as when standing next to them at the bar, waiting together at a bus stop, etc, is perfectly fine and commendable.

    The times when it is unacceptable are:

    a) a situation that is not conducive for casual conversation, for example going up to a girl sitting by herself on a park bench, or walking down the street with her friends.

    b) an "approach", where your sole intent is to attempt to get her number for romantic/sexual reasons.

    Both of these last two are harassment. I can't make that clear enough. Don't do it.
    I replied by defining harassment. The last two examples don't fit the definition. If they were done through intimidation and agression, then it's harassment as it would fit the definition. Don't see what you can't grasp from this.

    Women don't appreciate being catcalled and sexual-assulted. That is harassment. Why? Because it is aggressive and intimidating. It fits the definition. Huzzah! If done like a decent human being, talking women on the streets does not fit that description. I think you need to actually look the definition of harassment if you don't believe and see for yourself how wrong you really are.


    Can I ask you a question: how do you select your target? Do you stalk them for a while before approaching or do you use a simple scattergun approach?
    I prefer stalking. I do parkour, so it's easier for me to sneak up on my target....

    On a more serious not, the only instance I've flirted with women on the street is by a bus stop.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It was pretty obvious what the guy was trying to say. You could potentially be missing out on the love of your life.
    No, you couldn't, because that is not how real life works.
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    (Original post by Ade9000)
    Very well. Let's do it.



    I replied by defining harassment. The last two examples don't fit the definition. If they were done through intimidation and agression, then it's harassment as it would fit the definition. Don't see what you can't grasp from this.

    Women don't appreciate being catcalled and sexual-assulted. That is harassment. Why? Because it is aggressive and intimidating. It fits the definition. Huzzah! If done like a decent human being, talking women on the streets does not fit that description. I think you need to actually look the definition of harassment if you don't believe and see for yourself how wrong you really are.




    I prefer stalking. I do parkour, so it's easier for me to sneak up on my target....

    On a more serious not, the only instance I've flirted with women on the street is by a bus stop.
    What is the difference between shouting "alright gorgeous" from a van and going up to someone in the street and telling them they "look beautiful today"?

    Nothing. Except the latter is probably slightly creepier. Both are aggressive and intimidating. Both are harassment.
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    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    What is the difference between shouting "alright gorgeous" from a van and going up to someone in the street and telling them they "look beautiful today"?

    Nothing. Except the latter is probably slightly creepier. Both are aggressive and intimidating. Both are harassment.
    There is a world of difference between shouting "alright gorgeous" and saying, "hey I know this is really random but, I saw you had a great smile and just decided I wanted to take a moment to come meet you."
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    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    What is the difference between shouting "alright gorgeous" from a van and going up to someone in the street and telling them they "look beautiful today"?

    Nothing. Except the latter is probably slightly creepier. Both are aggressive and intimidating. Both are harassment.
    The former is shouting and the latter isn't. Simples.

    Define the context. Both are compliments. If walking up to someone and calling them beautiful is grounds for harassment, then you have a very warped idea of what harassment really is. Cheesy, yes. Harassment? Really? Look up the definition of harassment. Seriously.

    So I say to guy wearing nice shoes 'Hey dude, those shoes are awesome' or 'Dude, that haircut looks great', am I now guilty of harassment?
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    (Original post by miser)
    There is a world of difference between shouting "alright gorgeous" and saying, "hey I know this is really random but, I saw you had a great smile and just decided I wanted to take a moment to come meet you."
    What you say:

    "hey I know this is really random but, I saw you had a great smile and just decided I wanted to take a moment to come meet you."

    What she hears:

    "hey, I don't respect social boundaries. Wanna find out what other boundaries I don't respect? I'll give you a clue, it begins with an r, and ends with me ****ing your dismembered corpse"
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    It depends very much on how you go about it; if you go bounding over, bombarding her with compliments and ask for her number straight off the bat then that's annoying and potentially creepy and you will almost certainly be ignored. But if it looks like she's not otherwise occupied, strike up a polite conversation and if you feel as though you are getting good vibes from her then casually ask for her number before you part ways.

    The more desperate you appear, the more likely you're going to come across as creepy.
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    (Original post by Ade9000)
    The former is shouting and the latter isn't. Simples.

    Define the context. Both are compliments. If walking up to someone and calling them beautiful is grounds for harassment, then you have a very warped idea of what harassment really is. Cheesy, yes. Harassment? Really? Look up the definition of harassment. Seriously.

    So I say to guy wearing nice shoes 'Hey dude, those shoes are awesome' or 'Dude, that haircut looks great', am I now guilty of harassment?
    Making an uninvited personal comment to any stranger is harassment, yes. What gives you the right to express an opinion on their attire or physical attributes?

    A man making it to a woman is significantly worse however, because of the context of the likelihood of it being a precursor to sexual assault and rape. You can't just ignore these factors.

    This is not "my" definition, please see the everyday sexism project for further details of just how many women feel threatened and harassed on a daily basis in this country. Being approached by strange men in the street is a deeply scary and unnerving experience for many women, and is the most prevalent example of harassment in today's society. People like you attempting to defends men's rights to verbally harass women does not help us address this issue and make this country and safer more equitable place for us all to share.
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    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    What you say:

    "hey I know this is really random but, I saw you had a great smile and just decided I wanted to take a moment to come meet you."

    What she hears:

    "hey, I don't respect social boundaries. Wanna find out what other boundaries I don't respect? I'll give you a clue, it begins with an r, and ends with me ****ing your dismembered corpse"
    Agree to disagree. Anyone that's randomly talked to a girl and given them a genuine compliment can tell you they've appreciated it. Maybe if you're dressed like a rapist or something it'd be different but assuming you're just a normal guy coming from a positive place, there's no reason why she's not going to be open to even getting a cup of coffee with you then and there. This idea that she's almost definitely going to react negatively is in your head.
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    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    What you say:

    "hey I know this is really random but, I saw you had a great smile and just decided I wanted to take a moment to come meet you."

    What she hears:

    "hey, I don't respect social boundaries. Wanna find out what other boundaries I don't respect? I'll give you a clue, it begins with an r, and ends with me ****ing your dismembered corpse"
    You heard it here first, folks. Don't talk to women on the street. They'll think you're gonna rape them, cut them up and then rape you again.
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    (Original post by miser)
    Agree to disagree. Anyone that's randomly talked to a girl and given them a genuine compliment can tell you they've appreciated it. Maybe if you're dressed like a rapist or something it'd be different but assuming you're just a normal guy coming from a positive place, there's no reason why she's not going to be open to even getting a cup of coffee with you then and there. This idea that she's almost definitely going to react negatively is in your head.
    I didn't know rapists dressed in a particular way. I guess you learn something new everyday.
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    (Original post by Ade9000)
    You heard it here first, folks. Don't talk to women on the street. They'll think you're gonna rape them, cut them up and then rape you again.
    Probably, yes.

    I hope this dissuades you from harassing people in future.

    I see with some relief from a previous post that you're not actually guilty of this offence, but please don't start.
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    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    I didn't know rapists dressed in a particular way. I guess you learn something new everyday.
    Obviously they don't, but I'm talking about dressing in a way that's obviously going to creep someone out that's going to mess up your interactions with people.
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    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    Making an uninvited personal comment to any stranger is harassment, yes. What gives you the right to express an opinion on their attire or physical attributes?
    What right don't I have? We all have that right. By that logic, we shouldn't compliment anyone at all.

    A man making it to a woman is significantly worse however, because of the context of the likelihood of it being a precursor to sexual assault and rape. You can't just ignore these factors.
    Granted. Once again, as stated, when done like a decent human being, the interaction will end. Why are you encouraging women to live in fear of men?

    This is not "my" definition, please see the everyday sexism project for further details of just how many women feel threatened and harassed on a daily basis in this country. Being approached by strange men in the street is a deeply scary and unnerving experience for many women, and is the most prevalent example of harassment in today's society. People like you attempting to defends men's rights to verbally harass women does not help us address this issue and make this country and safer more equitable place for us all to share.
    *Sigh* You just don't get it. You're too determined to see men as villains.

    I'm off to lunch.
 
 
 
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