Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

He calls me fat, withholds sex and affection... Watch

    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    Threads like this make me wonder how all these abusive guys can get girlfriends but I can't.
    • Welcome Squad
    Offline

    16
    (Original post by CC2010)
    You need to watch Murdered By My Boyfriend on BBC I player.

    Really hope you manage to leave him; good luck! X


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    I watched this a few hours ago and remembered this thread.

    I hope you've left him OP. It's hard but he abuses you.
    • #4
    #4

    (Original post by xDave-)
    Threads like this make me wonder how all these abusive guys can get girlfriends but I can't.
    They're not always abusive to start with. But as someone who had been in abusive situations with loved ones, it's more so that they have a nice side and do nice things once in a.while that makes you feel guilty for never wanting to see them again.
    Also, it's not a funny issue.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have been in an on/off tempestuous relationship for 4 years. The reason it is a rocky relationship is due to his anger, although he blames me for making him angry, and I have to admit sometimes I do think its my fault. He has a tendency to shout, although he says he is simply 'raising his voice', and he does this to his parents and me.

    It is things like, if I get a crumb on the floor, don't wear the clothes he likes, don't put something in the bin or drawer the minute I'm finished with it...he goes crazy and starts shouting at me, telling me that 'he shouldn't have to tell me twice' he will regularly swear at me in public, and tell me off if I do something 'wrong'. I have never had real relationship except him and I honestly believe that I am irritating and would get on anyones nerve. But then it changed, and he started to call me fat and make comments about my body, giving me looks like I am something truly repulsive. I am a small size 10, but he would say that my legs were huge like a ham and that my love handles were horrible.

    When I was doing my third year dissertation this year, I distanced myself from him and didn't go visit him (he lives 2.5 hours away and doesn't visit me). During this time he would keep messaging me asking me to go over. He said things like 'no girl is worth what you are' and 'I don't care what you have done. I want you to come see me'. I ignored it until lonliness got the better of me. I don't have many friends and now uni is over I have just been stuck in my house with a suffocating family.

    I went back to see , and I'm ashamed to say that I was needy for intimacy and I thought he could give it to me, but he is worse than he ever was. Although he appears nice to me when his friends are there, in private its a different story. He never hugs me, holds my hand, kisses me, or says that he loves me. I feel something I have never felt before, which is neglect in affection. He withholds sex, but would gleefully tell me about his masturbatory sessions. When we did once have sex, he would not kiss me or even acknowledge me, and when I said 'I love you' in the heat of the moment, he made me feel terrible and embarrassed about it the next morning, I have never felt so ashamed. We would watch tv and he would say 'why don't you look like her?' I feel like if I became thin and hot, I would have a boyfriend who gave me affection and wanted to be with me. Even though my brain tells me that average looking girls can get love just as much as pretty ones, there is something inside me that tells me that maybe I am just not deserving of a mans love, like I am nothing.

    If I left again, I know he would message me and I would end up going back. Or I would become so lonely and go back anyway, as being virtually friendless has caused me to think its better to be in an unhappy relationship that just be alone. Does anyone have any advice, or is there anyone I can talk to who has experienced something similar

    Omg get the hell out of this relationship. He doesnt deserve u
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by xDave-)
    Threads like this make me wonder how all these abusive guys can get girlfriends but I can't.
    You can have BarBaBaBaBarBaBaBa - she is so annoying!
    Offline

    4
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by xDave-)
    Threads like this make me wonder how all these abusive guys can get girlfriends but I can't.
    Cry me a river :rolleyes:
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Trigger)
    Cry me a river :rolleyes:
    I will save the tears I use to send myself to sleep for you
    Offline

    4
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by xDave-)
    I will save the tears I use to send myself to sleep for you
    Male tears are my favourite
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    For people saying they can't understand why people don't just leave abusive relationships -
    https://www.ted.com/talks/leslie_mor...ms_don_t_leave

    She talks about domestic violence in particular, but it applies to other forms of abuse, too.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: July 12, 2014
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    What newspaper do you read/prefer?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.