Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Guys: Would you ever approach a pretty girl who wears a hijab? Watch

    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This is what I plan on doing (when and if the time comes):

    Be friends with the girl for 1-2 months and see if we click, it will be pretty obvious if I like her and if she likes me within that period.
    Tell her that I like her and would like to continue getting to know her with the intention of marriage.
    Spend around a year or two with her and then get parents involved.

    Throughout this whole process there will be no touchy-touchy business. I know its not Islamic but... that's what I see myself doing.

    What do you personally think of my plan?
    Tbh ur plan is not as bad compared to what some people do these days so I guess that's good that you have a clear plan in mind and know wat u want and u have a pure intention which is what we will all be judged upon

    I guess it would depend on the girl right some people are generally more open to getting to know guys and others not so much

    Also I think from an islamic perspective people might consider it to be too relaxed if u get me like the getting to know her bits :/

    In my opinion it seems ok ur plan except the bit about getting to know for 1-2 years that's jus personal to me though I'm hoping in sha Allah that within a year I'm married to the guy

    But at the end of the day everyone is different and will approach this issue differently

    I guess we could all share tips and learn from each other and all we can do is try our best to follow the teachings of Islam

    May Allah reward us all for our pure intentions and grant us all wonderful spouses whom we can live with happily Ameen




    Posted from TSR Mobile
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Ribbit1234)
    Naa trust. Thats creepy af. Going up to a girl and saying 'hey I wanna marry you. Can I get ur parents details so I can ask them for their*blessing'
    Haha yeah I get you I think its kinda creepy as well but both situations are weird. The thing is, not all Muslim girls are like you, a lot share the same views as him and maybe that's exactly what she wants.

    If I was her dad and a boy came up to me asking to marry my daughter and I've never seen this kid before I'd be like wtf gtfo here.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by cobalion955)
    I'll ask her mutual friends then. It'll be awkward because all her friends are girls. Both of us don't do free mixing. And yes I am Asian, but she's not. She's African.
    That might be a bit tricky then cuz shes from a diff culture. I think arabs look down on south asians a bit.. :/ from what ive hearrdd. African as in black African or arab african (lebanese, morrocan etc )?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You thought about the fact that it may be harder because of different culture? A lot of parents would rather their kids get married to people from the same country so they understand their culture etc. I'm Pakistani and I know my parents would say no to anyone that's not Pakistani unless I pursue it to extreme measures.
    I hope it isn't. Personally I've discarded culture and only focus on Islam in my life. Islam has made me colour blind, I don't see people of different ethnicities as any different than me at all. This is because of what Prophet Muhammad(pbuh) said on his farewell sermon. 'Indeed, there is no superiority of an Arab over a non-Arab, nor of a non-Arab over an Arab, nor of a white over a black, nor a black over a white, except by taqwa'. Another Hadith states 'There is nothing like marriage for the two who love each other' [ibn Majah]
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by aishaahmed96)
    Tbh ur plan is not as bad compared to what some people do these days so I guess that's good that you have a clear plan in mind and know wat u want and u have a pure intention which is what we will all be judged upon

    I guess it would depend on the girl right some people are generally more open to getting to know guys and others not so much

    Also I think from an islamic perspective people might consider it to be too relaxed if u get me like the getting to know her bits :/

    In my opinion it seems ok ur plan except the bit about getting to know for 1-2 years that's jus personal to me though I'm hoping in sha Allah that within a year I'm married to the guy

    But at the end of the day everyone is different and will approach this issue differently

    I guess we could all share tips and learn from each other and all we can do is try our best to follow the teachings of Islam

    May Allah reward us all for our pure intentions and grant us all wonderful spouses whom we can live with happily Ameen




    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Ameen

    Yeah I know its not perfectly Islamic but... I'm not going to kid myself, that's what I think I'd do. I guess it all matters on the girl though doesn't it? Once I tell her that I like her and want to get to know her with the intention of marriage I'll just let her decide what happens from there.

    If she wants to spend time with me we'll do that or if she wants to get parents involved from the start we'll do that.

    I'm pretty relaxed if you haven't noticed lol.

    One thing I really hate is when parents are close minded when it comes to their children marrying Muslims but from different countries. I.e Arabs lol.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Ribbit1234)
    That might be a bit tricky then cuz shes from a diff culture. I think arabs look down on south asians a bit.. :/ from what ive hearrdd. African as in black African or arab african (lebanese, morrocan etc )?
    Arab African. I'm Gujarati, and you can't say ALL of them look down on us. Those who have taken heed from the prophet(SAW)'s final sermon won't look down on anyone for their ethnicity. She doesn't seem like the type who does, she has a lot of Asian and black friends.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Haha yeah I get you I think its kinda creepy as well but both situations are weird. The thing is, not all Muslim girls are like you, a lot share the same views as him and maybe that's exactly what she wants.

    If I was her dad and a boy came up to me asking to marry my daughter and I've never seen this kid before I'd be like wtf gtfo here.
    Hmm yh true. I assumed they were from the same culture ( asian) and its not that weird to ask her dad like at the mosque or something. Or to get your dad to talk to hers? Idk how it properly happens lol.
    depends on how he goes about the convertation. Obvs not be too upfront but be like ive seen her around at uni. ive asked around she seems good decent girl masha allah. im intrested in her etc. But yh theyrw from different cultures so I dont know how it works with africans. Best to ask her mates or her ( awkward still) lol
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    Nah mate.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ameen

    Yeah I know its not perfectly Islamic but... I'm not going to kid myself, that's what I think I'd do. I guess it all matters on the girl though doesn't it? Once I tell her that I like her and want to get to know her with the intention of marriage I'll just let her decide what happens from there.

    If she wants to spend time with me we'll do that or if she wants to get parents involved from the start we'll do that.

    I'm pretty relaxed if you haven't noticed lol.

    One thing I really hate is when parents are close minded when it comes to their children marrying Muslims but from different countries. I.e Arabs lol.
    Yh ur more relaxed but it doesn't mean it's a bad thing u jus have to do wat ur comfortable with I guess

    And yes I cannot stand close minded people it drives me insane

    I have a mixture in my family of Pakistani/ Bengali/ white and I love the diversity I think it's such a shame when parents don't allow a marriage to go through jus becoz he/she isn't the same caste or from the same village or from the same country is so stupid in my opinion as long as they are practicing Muslims and well mannered decent people wat does it matter right ?
    Personally I'm completely open to any Muslim guy whose practicing no matter where he's from

    Lol rant over


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Ribbit1234)
    Hmm yh true. I assumed they were from the same culture ( asian) and its not that weird to ask her dad like at the mosque or something. Or to get your dad to talk to hers? Idk how it properly happens lol.
    depends on how he goes about the convertation. Obvs not be too upfront but be like ive seen her around at uni. ive asked around she seems good decent girl masha allah. im intrested in her etc. But yh theyrw from different cultures so I dont know how it works with africans. Best to ask her mates or her ( awkward still) lol
    Yeah, I remember when I spent some time with a Syrian girl last year, she said for her parents to accept me (I'm Pakistani) there would have to be a cold day in hell. Gave me the shivers lol.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by aishaahmed96)
    Yh ur more relaxed but it doesn't mean it's a bad thing u jus have to do wat ur comfortable with I guess

    And yes I cannot stand close minded people it drives me insane

    I have a mixture in my family of Pakistani/ Bengali/ white and I love the diversity I think it's such a shame when parents don't allow a marriage to go through jus becoz he/she isn't the same caste or from the same village or from the same country is so stupid in my opinion as long as they are practicing Muslims and well mannered decent people wat does it matter right ?
    Personally I'm completely open to any Muslim guy whose practicing no matter where he's from

    Lol rant over


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Preaching to the choir sister.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by cobalion955)
    I hope it isn't. Personally I've discarded culture and only focus on Islam in my life. Islam has made me colour blind, I don't see people of different ethnicities as any different than me at all. This is because of what Prophet Muhammad(pbuh) said on his farewell sermon. 'Indeed, there is no superiority of an Arab over a non-Arab, nor of a non-Arab over an Arab, nor of a white over a black, nor a black over a white, except by taqwa'. Another Hadith states 'There is nothing like marriage for the two who love each other' [ibn Majah]
    Wow I thought I was strict on myself but mash allah ur on a different level may Allah reward u for following the teachings of Islam in such a confident manner and in sha Allah make us all confident to do so too


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Ribbit1234)
    Hmm yh true. I assumed they were from the same culture ( asian) and its not that weird to ask her dad like at the mosque or something. Or to get your dad to talk to hers? Idk how it properly happens lol.
    depends on how he goes about the convertation. Obvs not be too upfront but be like ive seen her around at uni. ive asked around she seems good decent girl masha allah. im intrested in her etc. But yh theyrw from different cultures so I dont know how it works with africans. Best to ask her mates or her ( awkward still) lol
    Well I plan to keep it Halal, and there's no other way than this so this is what I intend to do. It took a lot of courage for me to even consider this. Too many guys are to scared, but I've thought 'do I want to try this or not?' And I've decided yes, especially every time I see her beautiful face.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by aishaahmed96)
    Wow I thought I was strict on myself but mash allah ur on a different level may Allah reward u for following the teachings of Islam in such a confident manner and in sha Allah make us all confident to do so too


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Thank you very much. Personally I don't like to be called "strict" or "extreme". I prefer to be called a Muslim. One who has submitted to God and this is by following the the Quran and the Sunnah. If you want to hear more of my Islamic updates please feel free to follow me on Twitter.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah, I remember when I spent some time with a Syrian girl last year, she said for her parents to accept me (I'm Pakistani) there would have to be a cold day in hell. Gave me the shivers lol.
    wow that's pretty racist. Im an Indian muslim and my cousin ran away with a Pakistani guy cuz her parents were racist to them so wouldnt accept him. Its kind of sad especially since in islam places so much emphasis on not being racist.
    I think alot of british born and bred Muslims are more open minded in the sense they wouldnt really care about the race or colour as long as the other persons muslim. But people that moved here straight from Pakistan india the arab country's etc are more cultured and traditional. Some of their views are very narrow minded. And they openly voice them without seeing anything wrong with them. Even if they are racist ans very wrong backwards minded opinions. I personally know of countless cases where the pparents have said no simply becuase they werent of the same race even though they were both muslim. A girl I know is refusing to get married at all now cuz her parents didnt accept the guy she brought home (cuz he was afghan. She was indian both were muslim).
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by cobalion955)
    Thank you very much. Personally I don't like to be called "strict" or "extreme". I prefer to be called a Muslim. One who has submitted to God and this is by following the the Quran and the Sunnah. If you want to hear more of my Islamic updates please feel free to follow me on Twitter.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Oh no sorry I wasn't implying ur strict or extreme I meant u have a strong sense of faith and ur confident about it mashallah



    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by aishaahmed96)
    Oh no sorry I wasn't implying ur strict or extreme I meant u have a strong sense of faith and ur confident about it mashallah



    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Thank you very much. My family is highly multicultural too btw and my parents don't care about ethnicity too.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Ribbit1234)
    wow that's pretty racist. Im an Indian muslim and my cousin ran away with a Pakistani guy cuz her parents were racist to them so wouldnt accept him. Its kind of sad especially since in islam places so much emphasis on not being racist.
    I think alot of british born and bred Muslims are more open minded in the sense they wouldnt really care about the race or colour as long as the other persons muslim. But people that moved here straight from Pakistan india the arab country's etc are more cultured and traditional. Some of their views are very narrow minded. And they openly voice them without seeing anything wrong with them. Even if they are racist ans very wrong backwards minded opinions. I personally know of countless cases where the pparents have said no simply becuase they werent of the same race even though they were both muslim. A girl I know is refusing to get married at all now cuz her parents didnt accept the guy she brought home (cuz he was afghan. She was indian both were muslim).
    This is wrong. I'm Indian too and I'm surprised that there are people in existence as close minded as that. I'm glad my family isn't anything like that and I pray that families who are may be guided.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by cobalion955)
    Thank you very much. My family is highly multicultural too btw and my parents don't care about ethnicity too.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Mashallah that's very good to hear it's a shame not all parents are like that


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    I wouldn't approach any pretty girl lest she pepper spray me and run away
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: June 22, 2015
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    What newspaper do you read/prefer?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.