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Guys, would you marry a single mother or accept her as a long term partner? Watch

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    yes
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    41.30%
    no
    27
    58.70%

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    (Original post by RayApparently)
    Errr... the man could die.
    We already raised that earlier
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    (Original post by Eva.Gregoria)
    Lol if every woman decided to make the "right" choices in men, there'll be hardly any men in relationships.

    Women are naturally skeptical of men they date, now we should be psychics and just know if a man would turn out to be bad? Disgraceful. She could br widowed, he could have cheated (how a woman should automatically identify a cheat, you tell me) and he could be violent and abusive (which is common). Have you seen the latest statistics? Teenagers are more likely to have a smartphone than a father living with them, you saying that that is solely women's faults?

    Actually you probably are, don't bother answering that. I'm terribly sorry for you if that's what you think.

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    If women were rational in their choice of mate they wouldn't keep going for bad boy types then moan when it doesn't work out.
    Also I suggest you take a look on plenty of fish and look at the hoards of single mother with no education and a long list of gold digger requirements.
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    (Original post by Shaolin Punk)
    well here's my 2 cents.

    so you want a wife? you want to have a nice wife & kids family?
    single mother ruins that.
    shes shown either that she's not committed
    shes shown that she makes poor choices in men
    it shows that shes sexually irresponsible

    then on top of that
    if you want to be in this womens life? your not just getting her.
    your getting her left overs from a previous relationship too.
    so if you marry her. your marrying that child and the childs father.
    that child is gonna be attached to her for the rest of her life.
    and therefore the father is gonna be attached to the child and therefore her for the rest of his life.

    then in regards to what about your family?
    hows this other child going to get a long with your child?

    her child is going to be extremely damaged. its going to feel like it hasnt got a propper father and its going to be jealous of what you and your kids have with its mom. and it may have a problem with this stranger banging its mom too.

    a lot of single moms are also bad parents and can be more obsessed with finding a new man than looking after their kids. many never wanted their kids. but them due to stupid puppy love or by being sexually negligent.

    a lot of single moms struggle financially and look for a sort of sugar daddy to come in and pay for her and her kids.

    a lot of single moms have multiple kids from different guys and seem to collect them.

    if you date a girl with a kid the father of the child might be a problem for you. he might be hostile.

    some single moms who have had psycho ex-boyfriends that they had kids with look to escape the violence of their crazy ex by getting with a more violent guy. or a guy that they think is more violent. which could be u.
    so know your acting as a body guard to this women from a pyschopath that wants to see his kid.

    its basically a mess.
    and high risk where a lot can go wrong.
    nobody plans on falling in love and settling down with a women who already has kids. so that your some kind of tag along in her half built and malfunctioning life.

    what if the father is deceased? (I know a few families like this...)
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    Marriage can sometimes be analogous to a long-term investment. So I should take many things into consideration.

    Your body is obviously like fixed asset. Your kids quite similar to long-term debt. And your personality like... goodwill.

    I'll give you my answer tomorrow, which will be "No".

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    (Original post by squeakysquirrel)
    OK lets reverse that statement - Girls, would you marry a single man with a child from a previous relationship and a heck of a lot of baggage.
    Nope absolutely no way not at this age, maybe if I got older had my own kids and got divorced (unlikely since I very much dislike children) that is the only way I would take on someone else's baggage.

    You'd constantly have the kids mother in your life
    If you didn't it would show he's a bit of a douche
    she might still be in love with him and be aggressive
    shows he isn't sexually responsible
    If I wanted my own children with him then how would this other kid fit into that?
    Have to get the kid to "like me" only to probably get "you aren't my mum" thrown in my face

    Too much effort that and there would never be a chance of me falling in love with someone like that because as soon as I found out they had kids I'd be leaving via the first available exit.
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    (Original post by *Dreamer*)
    what if the father is deceased? (I know a few families like this...)
    yea later on i did make widowers a slight exception depending on the death.
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    (Original post by Shaolin Punk)
    yea later on i did make widowers a slight exception depending on the death.
    Depending on the death...?
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    (Original post by Freudian Slip)
    Depending on the death...?
    yea if its a life style related death like he was a heroin addict then why the hell were you getting with a smack head for.

    but if its something like he got hit by a car or he fell over n banged his head. then fair enough.
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    (Original post by Shaolin Punk)
    yea later on i did make widowers a slight exception depending on the death.
    OK, its a biased question because overall the assumption is that the mother will have baggage and is a mess. There could be loads of reasons why someone is a single mother - its entirely circumstantial.
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    no, but I'm 20 and I kind of have my whole life ahead of me.
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    (Original post by *Dreamer*)
    OK, its a biased question because overall the assumption is that the mother will have baggage and is a mess. There could be loads of reasons why someone is a single mother - its entirely circumstantial.
    well I have considered a reasonable amount of circumstances.
    for example I have not considered alien abduction or turning into a werewolf.

    To repeat myself. my point is that everyone is responsible for their choices and actions. In my experience every single mother I know is in someway responsible (not solely it takes two to tango) and the father is not 100% entirely to blame. the father may be 100% entirely to blame for being a prick. but the mother is in someway responsible for choosing him or not taking his behaviour into account.

    and most of the time these bad family units could of been avoided.

    my experience goes from my own family. my friends parents and my friends who are parents. I know a lot of single parent families. In fact the majority of families I know are single parent ones.
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    (Original post by Shaolin Punk)
    well I have considered a reasonable amount of circumstances.
    for example I have not considered alien abduction or turning into a werewolf.

    To repeat myself. my point is that everyone is responsible for their choices and actions. In my experience every single mother I know is in someway responsible (not solely it takes two to tango) and the father is not 100% entirely to blame. the father may be 100% entirely to blame for being a prick. but the mother is in someway responsible for choosing him or not taking his behaviour into account.

    and most of the time these bad family units could of been avoided.

    my experience goes from my own family. my friends parents and my friends who are parents. I know a lot of single parent families. In fact the majority of families I know are single parent ones.
    OK well i haven't gone back and read the entire thread. But I'll assume you've considered rape, immaturity etc etc

    Is that to say that perhaps a mistake someone made in the past should impact on their chance of building a future with someone?

    Perhaps its naive of me to say, but if you've been with someone for long enough, know them and love them, I don't feel like the fact she has children should stop you from being with them. Those kids may even love having a father and vice versa
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    (Original post by si82)
    If women were rational in their choice of mate they wouldn't keep going for bad boy types then moan when it doesn't work out.
    Also I suggest you take a look on plenty of fish and look at the hoards of single mother with no education and a long list of gold digger requirements.
    Because only the typical bad boys can turn out to be bad boyfriends/husbands. Right :yy:

    This is why I can't take you lot seriously. Either you have zero life experiences or you're all talking out your backside.

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    (Original post by *Dreamer*)
    OK well i haven't gone back and read the entire thread. But I'll assume you've considered rape, immaturity etc etc

    Is that to say that perhaps a mistake someone made in the past should impact on their chance of building a future with someone?

    Perhaps its naive of me to say, but if you've been with someone for long enough, know them and love them, I don't feel like the fact she has children should stop you from being with them. Those kids may even love having a father and vice versa
    actually I didnt consider rape. but that would add its own complications.
    I personally would probably find it too difficult to be with a girl who had been raped and kept the child. I'd find the child to be a constant reminder. which isnt fair on the child i grant you. I actually have a friend who was born from a rape victim but he was given up to the care system.

    I agree. my motion was not that "you should not" date a single mother. but that if you were to remove the complications of love from the scenario dating a single mother is the least pragmatic option for your benefit.

    but. human emotion is the thing that dissuades pragmatism.

    for example my stance is against dating single mothers. by that i mean i personally do not want to do it. however i am currently in a relationship with one. its hard. and life would be easier if i didnt have feelings for her and found a nice clean slate child free girl. but life is rarely that straight forward.
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    (Original post by Shaolin Punk)
    actually I didnt consider rape. but that would add its own complications.
    I personally would probably find it too difficult to be with a girl who had been raped and kept the child. I'd find the child to be a constant reminder. which isnt fair on the child i grant you. I actually have a friend who was born from a rape victim but he was given up to the care system.

    I agree. my motion was not that "you should not" date a single mother. but that if you were to remove the complications of love from the scenario dating a single mother is the least pragmatic option for your benefit.

    but. human emotion is the thing that dissuades pragmatism.

    for example my stance is against dating single mothers. by that i mean i personally do not want to do it. however i am currently in a relationship with one. its hard. and life would be easier if i didnt have feelings for her and found a nice clean slate child free girl. but life is rarely that straight forward.
    its definitely difficult to hypothesise and i guess its one of those things where you cant really understand until it happens to you. And ahh darn human emotion

    All the best in your relationship, sounds cheesy but if she's the one then stick with it - love conquers all etc etc. Unfortunately we can't be perfect, and even if she was 'clean slate' I'm sure there would be something that wasn't right. Its life experience which shapes people at the end of the day...

    Just a disclaimer: I'm not a fan of the 'my personal experience' and 'people i know' argument - generalisations from the particular. Argument formulation 101.
 
 
 
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