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Men want virgins to marry. Let me explain please. watch

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    (Original post by Ekemini)
    Ok I know the title might offend some people. I am notcalling girls who are not virgin’s sluts. Over there in America or UK it isprobably not a big deal but here it is. I am African and we value values. Ifyou are not a virgin and you get married, the husband would find out (obviously)and you become a disgrace to yourself as well as your family... My dad puts itlike this: you can’t have your cake and eat it too. To Africans (ok Nigerians)the men would want you to be a virgin. My dad says that’s why I should beware ofboys. They would sleep around and do what they want but when they are lookingfor a wife they would be looking for a virgin. He gave me an example. At a friend’swedding after the ceremony a couple of men stood and started talking about thebride. What were they saying? Well they were talking about how they each hadhad a piece of the girl. They were boasting and bragging. She wasn’t a virginand all those men had slept with her. I can’t really remember if the groom overheardthem but my dad asks that why would a girl want that kind of a reputation? Why couldn’tshe just wait? Why is she such in a hurry? It’s a thing of pride if a father cangive off his daughter as a virgin. It shows that the girl was brought up rightand society would respect those parents. What do you guys think?

    I think that fortunately, that attitude is prevalent amongst 1% of men at very most.

    Ironically, those men will probably never find a relationship with any woman, virgin or not.
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    (Original post by Ekemini)
    Yes I know but they don't care. They want you a virgin period. Its how the society is. I didn't invent it. That was just an example from a story my dad told me. There are girls who go around sleeping with anything that has a **** and there are some that gave it up to a boyfriend they loved. No big deal
    I know a few men (and a woman) who have actually said that they wouldn't marry someone they hadn't previously slept with.

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    (Original post by Fideo)
    The aim of life is to successfully pass on your genes. Men can do this practically unlimited times, so biologically the most advantageous method is to sleep with as many women as possible. Whereas women can only carry one baby at a time so must be picky with their mates and only choose the highest quality genes they can.
    But sex is not solely about recreation. We live in 2015 not the stone age.... :facepalm:

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    (Original post by Ekemini)
    Ok so maybe I am sheep. I am a Christian and in the bible it is obvious that it is preferable for women to be virgins. Since you said I cant think for myself, this Is what I think. Personally I want to be a virgin when I get married. Maybe because I think sex is an such an intimate act and shouldn't be done with just anybody but someone I want to spend the rest of my life with. Even if its with a boyfriend i would rather prefer to wait. I cant imagine doing it casually. Like it doesn't mean anything. Its going to be a man putting his manhood into me. I am that sort of person not comfortable with the thought of different men in that kind of position with me. To some its not that deep but for me it is. That's just me
    Ok, so you and your boyfriend at whatever time say ' You know what, I want to be with you the rest of my life, have kids, the whole shabang'.

    God is omnipotent, so he is aware of this and the promises you have made to one another.

    Why then do you have to wait a further year or so to have sex? It is because your chastity is a way for your society to control you, to allow it to decide when you have sex and not you.
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    (Original post by Smash Bandicoot)
    it's not 'correct' for either men to have to do the chasing because of muh evolutionary biology, or women to be called 'slut' because muh bad judgment

    We need to dismantle the virginity complex for men and the slut standard for women

    and yes I know you are going to say I'm asking for genocide with this.
    this says that its wrong for women to talk to men first,

    looool imagine. women take the lead so much nowadays, the number of relationships i know where the guy is just like a puppet on strings 'ooooo big strong man picked this fine female' to rule him and wear the trousers?

    no thanks, id rather be equals. in every sense - financially, emotionally and otherwise.
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    (Original post by rachelc142)
    But sex is not solely about recreation. We live in 2015 not the stone age.... :facepalm:

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    It's called biology, our evolutionary desires don't just change in a few thousand years :facepalm:
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    (Original post by gemmam)
    I know a few men (and a woman) who have actually said that they wouldn't marry someone they hadn't previously slept with.

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    No problem with that. Its their choice. Just as I want to be a virgin till marriage. Its not a big deal
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    (Original post by luuucyx)
    i read this article saying how women are taught its the most special thing ever and it results in a lot of confusing and self contempt when you make a 'mistake' as a girl. it really really does!

    men have none of that, which is so crazy and un-equal
    It has such a big effect - when my mum found out I was sleeping with my first long term boyfriend she went absolutely crazy at me... I had such awful self esteem and genuinely hated myself after for so long, and that makes me so angry now when I think about it because I did nothing wrong

    It's ridiculous, neither men nor women should be judged for their sexual choices. As well I do completely agree if somebody doesn't WANT to until marriage that's fine as well! It's all about choice!!

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    (Original post by Slim and proud)
    Is this a troll?

    I can't see this ending well.....
    I have seen this everywhere but don't understand it. What does troll mean
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    (Original post by Eva.Gregoria)
    That response isn't good enough, you need to give me a reason why she should be scorned and the men praised.

    (Original post by Eva.Gregoria)
    You're clearly unable to think for yourself and just mirror the archaic views of whatever society you grow up in.

    So basically you're sheep.



    Unsatisfactory.
    Dude I think OP is about 13 14 at most you know
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    (Original post by luuucyx)
    no i totally agree but then you're getting more into the realms of love.

    sex as a function is literally animalistic

    when you go into that then fine, because its about mental maturity and confidence in yourself. the whole point of this thread said women should be virgins hands down when they marry, the issue of sex is if you're emotionally ready and the other person isnt gonna be a **** about it then its ok

    women are much more emotionally involved as a result i suppose and thats probably why this whole thing is viewed like this, men find it easier to walk away from stuff. again, animal kingdom one male will have a group of females to mate with due to survival of the fittest etc
    amen. i agree totally. it's unfortunate. i'm Nigerian too and men aren't keen on marrying non-virgins, but they're more likely to be virgins than a Westerner due many being religious Muslims or Christians.
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    (Original post by Fideo)
    It's called biology, our evolutionary desires don't just change in a few thousand years :facepalm:
    "our evolutionary desires"
    Not every single human being houses exactly the same desires and emotions and neither should they be chastised for them
    Your argument is dated, boring and quite frankly too simplistic

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    (Original post by rachelc142)
    It has such a big effect - when my mum found out I was sleeping with my first long term boyfriend she went absolutely crazy at me... I had such awful self esteem and genuinely hated myself after for so long, and that makes me so angry now when I think about it because I did nothing wrong

    It's ridiculous, neither men nor women should be judged for their sexual choices. As well I do completely agree if somebody doesn't WANT to until marriage that's fine as well! It's all about choice!!

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    EXACTLY! honestly, its just ridiculous. my mum was like that too and then she was like actually do you know what at least you're being sensible.

    the whole shame thing is not needed tho, women have so much other **** to put up with.

    i have a bunch of friends that are like 22 and virgins, and fair ****ing play to them! everyone is different. woo girl power hahaha
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    (Original post by luuucyx)
    this says that its wrong for women to talk to men first,

    looool imagine. women take the lead so much nowadays, the number of relationships i know where the guy is just like a puppet on strings 'ooooo big strong man picked this fine female' to rule him and wear the trousers?

    no thanks, id rather be equals. in every sense - financially, emotionally and otherwise.
    eh I dislike the way you are laughing at men who are 'whipped' for want of a better word.

    I also feel that women should initiate more but that is a third wave feminism problem, OP's situation (if not a troll) is decisively in the first wave and higher priority imo.
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    (Original post by Le Nombre)
    Ok, so you and your boyfriend at whatever time say ' You know what, I want to be with you the rest of my life, have kids, the whole shabang'.

    God is omnipotent, so he is aware of this and the promises you have made to one another.

    Why then do you have to wait a further year or so to have sex? It is because your chastity is a way for your society to control you, to allow it to decide when you have sex and not you.
    No its what I want. I have learned to ignore society's views when it comes o my decisions. Anything could happen between the period after having sex and before the marriage. I don't really know how to explain this to you. What is wrong in waiting the extra year or so?
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    (Original post by rachelc142)
    "our evolutionary desires"
    Not every single human being houses exactly the same desires and emotions and neither should they be chastised for them
    Your argument is dated, boring and quite frankly too simplistic

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    You can't be serious lol.

    There's some people that don't have the desires but it's a very small minority and the discussion is about in general, not using outliers to prove some kind of point. Humans desire to pass on their genes - I seriously don't know how you can try to argue against that.
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    (Original post by sheri3)
    amen. i agree totally. it's unfortunate. i'm Nigerian too and men aren't keen on marrying non-virgins, but they're more likely to be virgins than a Westerner due many being religious Muslims or Christians.
    my ex was nigerian tho and he wasnt pissed off i wasnt a virgin hahaha, he most definitely was not a virgin but i never was bothered because i took him as a person
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    (Original post by Smash Bandicoot)
    Dude I think OP is about 13 14 at most you know
    Actually I am 16. Will be 17 this year. Did I sound that stupid or immature in the original post?
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    (Original post by Smash Bandicoot)
    Dude I think OP is about 13 14 at most you know
    The level of analytical and thinking skills displayed on this thread, she might as well have just finished primary school as far as I'm concerned.
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    (Original post by Ekemini)
    Ok so maybe I am sheep. I am a Christian and in the bible it is obvious that it is preferable for women to be virgins. Since you said I cant think for myself, this Is what I think. Personally I want to be a virgin when I get married. Maybe because I think sex is an such an intimate act and shouldn't be done with just anybody but someone I want to spend the rest of my life with. Even if its with a boyfriend i would rather prefer to wait. I cant imagine doing it casually. Like it doesn't mean anything. Its going to be a man putting his manhood into me. I am that sort of person not comfortable with the thought of different men in that kind of position with me. To some its not that deep but for me it is. That's just me
    OK, this is a really crucial bit of information-you don't want to have casual sex, and value saving sex for marriage. This is OK, and will make it much easier for you to get by in your culture; but understand there will be many outside of it, in the West, who will try to convince you otherwise. Also, do not allow any man to put you down for your sexual activities! (Unless you cheat, in which case I will also dislike you )
 
 
 
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