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    (Original post by Rock Fan)
    I have forgiven in the past only for me to be cheated on again. But the past couple that have cheated on me, I never forgave them for it and it will be the same in future if someone cheats on me.
    Sorry to hear this and I think it is such a shame that your forgiving nature got taken for granted. I hope in the future it doesn't happen again
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    (Original post by Wilfred Little)
    If you say so. You're assuming you can just act rationally when you're so emotionally involved with this person.

    This thread is filled with sanctimonious kids with no real idea.
    You have to be strong.

    Love is not enough.

    This isn't about being 'kids' this is what people OLDER than me have taught me.

    'love' has women staying in abusive relationships, having their faces bashed in every night and being berated.

    You can love someone, yes but you also have to know when to respect yourself and walk away from a relationship where you have been done wrongly.

    Sorry but sometimes love simply isn't enough.

    I have seen older people end many relationships where they 'loved' someone but had to leave.

    My mentor just finalised a divorce to her ex-husband, she cries every night because she misses him but his alcohol issues, temper and cheating meant she couldn't take it anymore.

    And this is someone she has loved since she was 15 and had a house with (she is now 54).

    I find it interesting that you are putting this on youth when it's actually people in their 40's, 50's who have told me not to accept certain things no matter how much you love someone......

    Didn't your parents tell you the same ?
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    (Original post by Queen Cersei)
    Sorry to hear this and I think it is such a shame that your forgiving nature got taken for granted. I hope in the future it doesn't happen again
    Ah it won't past couple girls that cheated on me, I did not give them another chance. I mean once you cheat then all trust is broken and to be honest it can't really be repaired.
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    Everyone is different, someone could be married for years then marriage breaks down be it down to money, stress of work, teenage children causing problems so if one partner met someone else I would understand it more unless the person went out and looked for someone to cheat with. Men normally get the bad end of the stick here as women have more sympathy when in a relationship that breaks down, men are automatically seen as cheats and will cheat again when women cheating on a man get the sympathy that a man wasnt good enough, he had no respect for her etc.

    I had a ex girlfriend treat me like dirt, I am shy so was set up with this girl who sent me over 300 texts in 3 days, 500 texts the week after and told me I was using her if I didnt respond instantly, she then went online and told guys either she was single or I led her on and didnt respect her getting guys saying they would date her and they bought her little presents like paying for her phone bills or a new games console, we lasted 3 months but I hated every moment, she even had her mum fooled as her mum said I was scum and leading on her darling girl.

    Love is a complicated thing, and easy to misunderstood affection and companionship for actual love thats why many modern marriages fail, or you can love things about a person like their personality, apperance, but to live with them is a different experience as they could be a different person at home.

    I would understand falling out of love more than someone flirting with some randomer or even a friend as thats being unfaithful to me(not cheating though) since its a betrayal of trust rather than just being unaware of whats happening and falling in love with someone without even knowing it.
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    Have any of you guys read that reddit post? It's about a guy who was suspicious about his wife cheating on him with another man "Zack", then hired a private investigator only to confirm his wife did in fact cheat on him. It's a long, sad story.

    http://www.theladbible.com/articles/...heating-on-him
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    (Original post by owwwww2)
    Have any of you guys read that reddit post? It's about a guy who was suspicious about his wife cheating on him with another man "Zack", then hired a private investigator only to confirm his wife did in fact cheat on him. It's a long, sad story.

    http://www.theladbible.com/articles/...heating-on-him
    I know right? I'm pretty sorry for that guy, it seems horrible.
    Here's the link: http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2snn0q/tifu_by_reading_my_wifes_text_messages_shes/.
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    (Original post by owwwww2)
    Have any of you guys read that reddit post? It's about a guy who was suspicious about his wife cheating on him with another man "Zack", then hired a private investigator only to confirm his wife did in fact cheat on him. It's a long, sad story.

    http://www.theladbible.com/articles/...heating-on-him
    This is so sad

    I don't care how much he 'loves' this woman. I hope he left.
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    (Original post by PrincessAlexis)
    You have to be strong.

    Love is not enough.

    This isn't about being 'kids' this is what people OLDER than me have taught me.

    'love' has women staying in abusive relationships, having their faces bashed in every night and being berated.

    You can love someone, yes but you also have to know when to respect yourself and walk away from a relationship where you have been done wrongly.

    Sorry but sometimes love simply isn't enough.

    I have seen older people end many relationships where they 'loved' someone but had to leave.

    My mentor just finalised a divorce to her ex-husband, she cries every night because she misses him but his alcohol issues, temper and cheating meant she couldn't take it anymore.

    And this is someone she has loved since she was 15 and had a house with (she is now 54).

    I find it interesting that you are putting this on youth when it's actually people in their 40's, 50's who have told me not to accept certain things no matter how much you love someone......

    Didn't your parents tell you the same ?
    a mentor for what? life?
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    (Original post by welcometoib)
    a mentor for what? life?
    career

    you know like your mentor....
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    No way, I've fallen victim to being cheated on. If you want another man/woman, then split up with your current one!
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    (Original post by PrincessAlexis)
    You have to be strong.

    Love is not enough.

    This isn't about being 'kids' this is what people OLDER than me have taught me.

    'love' has women staying in abusive relationships, having their faces bashed in every night and being berated.

    You can love someone, yes but you also have to know when to respect yourself and walk away from a relationship where you have been done wrongly.

    Sorry but sometimes love simply isn't enough.

    I have seen older people end many relationships where they 'loved' someone but had to leave.

    My mentor just finalised a divorce to her ex-husband, she cries every night because she misses him but his alcohol issues, temper and cheating meant she couldn't take it anymore.

    And this is someone she has loved since she was 15 and had a house with (she is now 54).

    I find it interesting that you are putting this on youth when it's actually people in their 40's, 50's who have told me not to accept certain things no matter how much you love someone......

    Didn't your parents tell you the same ?
    You're not having the same discussion as me. I'm not saying you should stay with someone who's had an affair because you love them. This thread asks people if they would forgive cheating. Obviously the right thing to do in the majority of cases is to end it, but I'm saying many people who are in this thread and are confident that they would quite easily, wouldn't when placed in this situation.

    I think I agree with your post, but you're arguing against a point that doesn't exist.
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    (Original post by Wilfred Little)
    You're not having the same discussion as me. I'm not saying you should stay with someone who's had an affair because you love them. This thread asks people if they would forgive cheating. Obviously the right thing to do in the majority of cases is to end it, but I'm saying many people who are in this thread and are confident that they would quite easily, wouldn't when placed in this situation.

    I think I agree with your post, but you're arguing against a point that doesn't exist.
    If someone says they'd leave I'd give them the benefit of the doubt.
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    (Original post by MyName??!)
    ditto. The fact he's said that to some other girl would make me feel worthless.
    What is it with girls and their feeling of self-worth?
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    (Original post by TheHopefulIdiot)
    Ohh wait. I'm sorry, I didn't understand the question. I thought we were talking about cheating on exams or something. Then I read "edgy" and thought, 'am i missing something?'
    hahahaha.
    In my defence, this is studentroom, i sort of expected the question 'would you forgive cheating' to be education related.
    oh thank god, and for a minute I thought you were one of those sociopathic individuals I've been dealing with on another forum who tallies up his Polygamy Pwnage Bar (i.e. the number of affairs he's had under his partner's nose in the last year).
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    (Original post by PrincessAlexis)
    If someone says they'd leave I'd give them the benefit of the doubt.
    OK fair, I just don't think it's that easy. That's what I'd have said once upon a time.

    I think if placed in the same situation again, then I would end it as I now know staying with them will just prolong any recovery and I would be able to tell if she was genuinely sorry and wanted to change or not. I think in some situations I would be able to give them another chance.

    Other people have mentioned things like kids being involved and that makes it even more difficult.
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    (Original post by lulagirl15)
    Totally relate to this. Find it really really difficult to trust anyone now after being messed around so badly. Weird how you think you'll never be that kind of person but you sort of slide into it as a reflex response
    Right?

    I'm not entirely without hope though - I believe all it'll take is one partner who understands where the issues are coming from, and is able to offer enough evidence/experience/reassurance that the doubts will eventually fade.

    In the meantime, if you find a faster way, let me know!
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    Absolutely not. Once a cheater, always a cheater
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    No, it'd wipe out any trust, Confidence and respect I had, by which point you couldn't really call it a relationship anymore could you.... Theres alot of things you can forgive in a partnership. Cheating isn't one.
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    No, never. Being cheated on makes you feel so beaten, and crushes you emotionally. It takes a long while to trust someone or love someone again, or well love yourself anymore.
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    No. Never.

    Some people claim to cheat because something is "lacking" in their relationship. :rolleyes: Um, no. If there's something wrong, you communicate with your partner, you don't cheat on them. If you can't talk to the person you profess to be in love with, who can you talk to? Cheating doesn't "fix" anything, it's just a lousy, sucky thing to do to someone, and just shows how immature you are. You either communicate with your partner and resolve the problem, or if the problem can't be resolved, you break up.
    Cheating is something done deliberately. You choose to do it. It's not something that just "happens". Even if it was a drunken mistake, it was intentional, even if those intentions were alcohol/drug-fuelled. Cheating is not an "accident". Falling down the stairs is an "accident".
    Even if you can't control your feelings, you can control your actions. No longer feel the same way you used to? Fine. But break up with me, don't cheat on me. At least then I can respect you as a person, no matter how upset I may be at breaking up.

    It's not promiscuity I have a problem with; it's betraying the person you claim to love.
 
 
 
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