How Can I Detach My Emotions From Sex ? Watch

Cherry82
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#101
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#101
No offence, but can I be frank with you. If you care about your emotional health, do not do this. I am being very serious...For the fact that you have even asked this question tells me that you do currently associate sex with your emotions. This is normal for you so doing the opposite can be unhealthy as you'd be repressing your emotions.
There's a reason why people who do these kinds of jobs deal with depression, study shows that these women and men later on deal with psychological problems because of the mentally, challenging aspects to these jobs.

There are other jobs to do out there; sleeping around with different men also increases your chances of getting STI's. Yes, there are condoms etc to use but what happens if something goes wrong, if one breaks, even if you were on birth control it doesn't mean that you are fully protected from diseases. I'd be weary because unless you know these men and their sexual histories, you'd be in a risky situation. How do you know that your physical safety is in good hands, there are many reports of prostitutes being murdered by lunatics. Any way, in my opinion, if any guy/girl could hire someone to sleep with them for the night...it says a lot about their sexual history.

Please be smart about this, the money is easy to make but the after-math is extremely difficult to deal with which often leads to emotionally broken people. It's not worth it; my aunt who is a social worker deals with many people whose families are destroyed and affected because a member entered prostitution. An example, recently she has been trying to stop this cycle from continuing in one family. A girl of 13 entered prostitution because it was something her sister who is currently 19 did to become 'rich'. This shows that your decisions impact others. It's sad. Please remember that you only have one body...there are other options.
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Cherry82
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#102
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#102
(Original post by wsxcde)
so no one is a virgin. People judge their prospective partners on all sorts of things, and different things depending on what they want from a partner. People are allowed to have their own wants and needs, we're all different and can be looking for different things. If someone wants a partner who has no past then that's their right to want that. Judging someone as unsuitable as a partner for you based on their past is fine, but judging someone in a malicious way for their past over letting everyone live their own lives how they want is bad.
How do you mean no one is a virgin???
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garfeeled
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#103
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#103
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm thinking of going into sex work part time (just about 8 -10 clients) a week outside of my usual job.

Any tips on how to detatch myself emotionally during sex ? Thank you
That's a hard one ( pun intended )

Try thinking about the money or focus on the physical nature of it. Personally I don't think you can force.
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Cherry82
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#104
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#104
(Original post by wsxcde)
It was response to people saying "everyone has a past", like "so according to you no one is a virgin.."
Oh ok, I see.
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Modelwork
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#105
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#105
The only person who can ultimately decide is anonymous#1
if he/she wants to have sex/time with someone for sex then who is anyone to judge this?
everyone has different views, beliefs and ideas of what is right and wrong.
But but what is right for me or any other on here may not be right for anonymous #1.
personally if that's what they want to do then go for it.
Make sure you have strict limits in place with yourself and make sure you stick to them and don't let anyone sway you from them..
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chocolate hottie
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#106
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#106
(Original post by Modelwork)
The only person who can ultimately decide is anonymous#1
if he/she wants to have sex/time with someone for sex then who is anyone to judge this?
everyone has different views, beliefs and ideas of what is right and wrong.
But but what is right for me or any other on here may not be right for anonymous #1.
personally if that's what they want to do then go for it.
Make sure you have strict limits in place with yourself and make sure you stick to them and don't let anyone sway you from them..
There is an article in today's Times saying that 100,000 students have gone into sex work.

More than 100,000 students — about one in 20 — are working in the sex industry to pay their way through university, according to the first significant research into the issue.
Lack of money is the biggest factor driving students into sex work, the national survey concludes, as undergraduates struggle to cope with living costs in the era of £9,000-a-year tuition fees.
More male than female students are making money through sex-related occupations, confirming an investigation by The Times last week which found that young men were performing on pornographic websites.
Most students were involved with “indirect” sex work: the five main activities for men were being a “naked butler”, stripping, selling sexual services on the internet, erotic dancing and performing in porn films.
For women, the most common occupations were selling sex online, glamour modelling, erotic dancing, stripping and selling sex on phone chat lines. A handful of students also worked as drivers and escort managers.
The Student Sex Work Project findings are revealed today after three years of research involving 6,750 students. It found that 4.8 per cent of respondents had worked in the sex industry. More than half just wanted to cover basic living expenses, and nearly two thirds were motivated by earning money to fund their lifestyle. Forty-five per cent wanted to avoid debt.

So the OP is hardly alone. If they can do it so can she, I suspect. Why not, who cares about the judgmentalism of some of the people on this thread?


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Modelwork
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#107
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#107
(Original post by chocolate hottie)
There is an article in today's Times saying that 100,000 students have gone into sex work.

More than 100,000 students — about one in 20 — are working in the sex industry to pay their way through university, according to the first significant research into the issue.
Lack of money is the biggest factor driving students into sex work, the national survey concludes, as undergraduates struggle to cope with living costs in the era of £9,000-a-year tuition fees.
More male than female students are making money through sex-related occupations, confirming an investigation by The Times last week which found that young men were performing on pornographic websites.
Most students were involved with “indirect” sex work: the five main activities for men were being a “naked butler”, stripping, selling sexual services on the internet, erotic dancing and performing in porn films.
For women, the most common occupations were selling sex online, glamour modelling, erotic dancing, stripping and selling sex on phone chat lines. A handful of students also worked as drivers and escort managers.
The Student Sex Work Project findings are revealed today after three years of research involving 6,750 students. It found that 4.8 per cent of respondents had worked in the sex industry. More than half just wanted to cover basic living expenses, and nearly two thirds were motivated by earning money to fund their lifestyle. Forty-five per cent wanted to avoid debt.

So the OP is hardly alone. If they can do it so can she, I suspect. Why not, who cares about the judgmentalism of some of the people on this thread?


Exactly my point.... It's not a new concept and is purely a personal choice
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Ridingmyego
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#108
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#108
(Original post by phunky_fresh)
Lol. If your partner one day said they were a prostitute, would you be okay with it?

'Honey it's okay to trade in your sexuality if it makes you happy'
1) OP's not my partner, she's completely free to work in whatever capacity she chooses without receiving judgement from people who think they're morally superior
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Ridingmyego
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#109
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#109
(Original post by wsxcde)
Its not true that everyone has a past there are plenty of people who dont and plenty who wait until marriage! It's also not true that in every single adult relationship in the world people dont concern themselves with a prospective partners past. Personally I would want a complete sexual history and I'd be prepared to give my complete sexual history also. If someone I would potentially be in a relationship with straight up told me that they dont want to discuss their previous relationships then that's their right to keep it to themselves, and personally I wouldnt want to form a relationship with them but look for someone else in that case. If someone would lie then I would feel really abused by that person because I'd trust that I'm being honest with them and they are with me.
That's good for you, and you're completely within your right to want to know. But this is not the default position, and nobody speaks as a 'majority'. I, on the other hand, do not ask nor care about who, where, or how many, people they happen to have slept with. I see no shame in escorting and wouldn't be put off by my girlfriend if she revealed that she had worked the job previously.
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bittr n swt
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#110
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#110
(Original post by Ridingmyego)
My way of dealing with people like you is to treat you with the same disgust as you show people you don't even know. Calling them 'cheap, dirty, and disgusting', and referring to men who hire them as 'scum' are just some of vile uninformed comments you've made on this thread. Said comments are to be categorised as the naive, inexperienced, and above all worthless, comments that they are.
awww did i hurt your feelings? they do say truth hurts

coz it's true. I don't need to know that terrorists are scum. I don't need to know that murderers are scum. Why should i have to know someone before i criticise them? We all do it so be quiet you hypocrite.

I really don't know what ego your riding, your comments on here like escorting being a skill is ****ing embarrassing
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Ridingmyego
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#111
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#111
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm confused as to why bitternsweet is posting if he is clearly not hoping to offer any advice relevant to my op.

*reported* i want him banned from this thread.
Please don't worry, the majority of us do not hold the same despicable views as him, one day he'll grow up.
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rmhumphries
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#112
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#112
Can we stay on-topic please and avoid being offensive to other users

This topic is asking about how to not get emotionally attached when having sex. If you want to discuss escort's self-worth, you are welcome to create a thread in society. Any further discussion will be removed.
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phunky_fresh
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#113
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#113
(Original post by Ridingmyego)
1) OP's not my partner, she's completely free to work in whatever capacity she chooses without receiving judgement from people who think they're morally superior
OK, but I wasn't talking about OP here. I'm asking how you would feel if your partner said they were a prostitute
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lavender_rose
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#114
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#114
I have never been in that situation so I don't really know, but couldn't you consider bar work, cleaning, even telesales. This doesn't seem safe.
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Anonymous #4
#115
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#115
If you're hot, you could make so much money from 8-10 clients a week. 6 figures for a couple of years work. All student debt gone. Be wary of the risks though: namely, mental stuff.
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Josb
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#116
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#116
(Original post by Anonymous)
X
Do you have a partner? Have you already had casual sex, ONS, FWB?
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Josb
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#117
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#117
(Original post by chocolate hottie)
There is an article in today's Times saying that 100,000 students have gone into sex work.

More than 100,000 students — about one in 20 — are working in the sex industry to pay their way through university, according to the first significant research into the issue.
Lack of money is the biggest factor driving students into sex work, the national survey concludes, as undergraduates struggle to cope with living costs in the era of £9,000-a-year tuition fees.
More male than female students are making money through sex-related occupations, confirming an investigation by The Times last week which found that young men were performing on pornographic websites.
Most students were involved with “indirect” sex work: the five main activities for men were being a “naked butler”, stripping, selling sexual services on the internet, erotic dancing and performing in porn films.
For women, the most common occupations were selling sex online, glamour modelling, erotic dancing, stripping and selling sex on phone chat lines. A handful of students also worked as drivers and escort managers.
The Student Sex Work Project findings are revealed today after three years of research involving 6,750 students. It found that 4.8 per cent of respondents had worked in the sex industry. More than half just wanted to cover basic living expenses, and nearly two thirds were motivated by earning money to fund their lifestyle. Forty-five per cent wanted to avoid debt.

So the OP is hardly alone. If they can do it so can she, I suspect. Why not, who cares about the judgmentalism of some of the people on this thread?


1) The article contradicts itself.
2) It says that most students have done indirect sex work; it's different from OP's situation.
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Cherry82
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#118
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#118
(Original post by Modelwork)
Exactly my point.... It's not a new concept and is purely a personal choice
But it can go in both ways. I wish the person who posted that explained or showed evidence of how these students are now. Hello people, if OP is asking how to detach emotions from sex this will end up badly. It's evident that OP does associate emotions with sex and is trying not to, this is not ok or healthy.

It is his/her decision and I am trying not to judge, in fact I am not her to judge him or her. All I am saying is that, there is a good chance that this may end up tragically. I'm speaking from experience also, I did not do this however I know some who did and like I had said, my aunt works with people who have. Just because those students may have happily gotten away with this without any emotionally problems...(which I highly doubt) doesn't mean the OP will, especially when they are forcing themselves to dissociate sex with emotions. This dissociation can also effect his/her future sex life with a serious partner or this person can catch feelings with his/her customers, I don't know. It is his/her decision but is this the only way or best way is what he/she needs to decide.

We live in a country where you have options and opportunities, I'm sorry to sound harsh but there are people who did not have options yet still did not chose this.
My aunt is African and explains to me how various women and men who have no choice, the country they are based in Africa is corrupt and that they have no family so they entered prostitution to survive.
I see it as the OP is lucky enough to be in a country where there are opportunities. I could be wrong to where they are based however I'm guessing it's somewhere in the UK. These people, if they had a choice or half of the opportunities that we have, prostitution would not in any situation be a choice.

At the end of the day, it is his/her decision but though I do not know this person, I feel as if it is our job to protect people. I disagree with all of the judgemental statements on her/him being easy etc because who are we to speak such things. For me, this is an area so delicate and important, more on a personal level because I know real people who I have come to love, dealing with problems around this topic.
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Clumsya
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#119
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#119
Exactly! Men who do that also have no respect. My ex started escorting and she see it with glamorous eyes witch I don’t get. Where is the empowerment? Guys literally buy you for an one, they own you for that time and use you to empty their balls, where are you empowered here ? And you think you make more money but not really, you just buy more stuff/more expensive and after a while you get hooked with the money and are trapped in this addiction for money. You want money work like anybody else! Why do you have to let old married perve **** you for it? You dont think that you reinforce infidelity and the same stuff you hate in men! You are reinforcing the issues
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