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Why don't people try to understand asexuality? watch

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    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    But OP fantasises about women. Surely that is sexual attraction?
    In the case of the OP, yes, I believe I have asserted that in an earlier post to him.

    However, the general case still stands; "asexual" isn't equivalent to "low libido".
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    (Original post by SHallowvale)
    Well, no it's not. I've explained this before.

    Some asexuals may have absolute low libido but not all of them do. Some asexuals may have high libido to some sexual activities while low libido to others.
    Logically contradictory:

    Asexual: a person who has no sexual feelings or desires

    Libido: sex drive, sexual desire


    BY DEFINITION an asexual is someone with no libido.
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    (Original post by Infraspecies)
    In the case of the OP, yes, I believe I have asserted that in an earlier post to him.

    However, the general case still stands; "asexual" isn't equivalent to "low libido".
    So now you are saying that OP is not an asexual.
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    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    So now you are saying that OP is not an asexual.
    Now, and before you and I started talking, yes.

    That wasn't my qualm with what you were saying, as I'm sure you realise.
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    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    Logically contradictory:

    Asexual: a person who has no sexual feelings or desires

    Libido: sex drive, sexual desire


    BY DEFINITION an asexual is someone with no libido.
    That is not how asexuality is defined.

    ''Asexuality (or nonsexuality) is the lack of sexual attraction to anyone, or low or absent interest in sexual activity''.

    ''Low or absent interest in sexual activity'' =/= ''No sexual feelings or desires''
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    (Original post by SHallowvale)
    That is not how asexuality is defined.

    ''Asexuality (or nonsexuality) is the lack of sexual attraction to anyone, or low or absent interest in sexual activity''.

    ''Low or absent interest in sexual activity'' =/= ''No sexual feelings or desires''
    you should ring up the dictionary and tell them that then.


    Priests have low or absent interest in sexual activity. Are they asexuals?

    what I'm trying to say as politely as I can is, your definition is crap and completely illogical. Get rid of it.
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    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    you should ring up the dictionary and tell them that then.

    Priests have low or absent interest in sexual activity. Are they asexuals?

    what I'm trying to say as politely as I can is, your definition is crap and completely illogical. Get rid of it.
    I've used the Wikipedia article to define asexuality, much like how you have used the Wikipedia article to define sexual desire.

    And no, abstinence and celibacy are not the same as asexuality. Though priests, like all people, can also be asexuals.

    How is the definition illogical?
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    (Original post by SHallowvale)
    I've used the Wikipedia article to define asexuality, much like how you have used the Wikipedia article to define sexual desire.

    And no, abstinence and celibacy are not the same as asexuality. Though priests, like all people, can also be asexuals.

    How is the definition illogical?
    The term "asexual" is unspecific, and is used to refer to a lot of things. He is right, the word can be used to refer to one without sexual feeling.

    A better way to represent your position is "without orientation". That is unambiguous.
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    (Original post by SHallowvale)
    I've used the Wikipedia article to define asexuality, much like how you have used the Wikipedia article to define sexual desire.

    And no, abstinence and celibacy are not the same as asexuality. Though priests, like all people, can also be asexuals.

    How is the definition illogical?
    because it describes conscious decisions, ie "no interest", not underlying desires. Its therefore unfit for purpose as a definition of a type of sexuality.

    A heterosexual person may decide they don't have interest in sexual activity for whatever reason. That doesn't change their underlying sexuality.

    I just wish people would think a bit more deeply about these topics before arguing about it.
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    (Original post by TheWorldEndsWithYou)
    I was reminded today of a discussion I had on another website where I was trying to educate people on asexuality however, it didn't go well at all. The problem was that the people were being very narrow-minded and seeing sexuality in a black and white view.

    People assume that just because someone is an asexual they stop being human beings; men can't get erections and men can't like breasts or bums. This is a lie. You can see an attractive woman and get aroused because getting aroused tells you that 1) your body is healthy and 2) your body is ready for sex. However, just because your body is telling you it's ready for sex doesn't mean that in your mind you actually desire it. But people continue to think that if you get aroused it means you want sex which means you're not asexual, you're just suppressing your sexual desire.

    I'm asexual. I've never felt sexual attraction to anyone and don't feel the desire to have sex with anyone either which I'm fine with. However, I like big breasts, I like big bums and I also get aroused but regardless of this it doesn't change how I feel. The difference between me and someone who isn't asexual is that when a woman gives a sexual person an erection that man probably wants to have sex with her however, with an asexual they either just wait for it to go down or take care of it themselves and resume their day. A sexual man will see a sexy woman and think "I'd do her" but an asexual man wouldn't.

    Do people see where I'm coming from?
    I understand you loud and clear
    • #2
    #2

    I think it's been established that generally people who can't relate in some way to asexuality are struggling to understand it
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I think it's been established that generally people who can't relate in some way to asexuality are struggling to understand it
    Not really, I think the problem is that people are using terms without having first thought about what their definition is, and then getting themselves in a muddle of self-contradictions.
    • #3
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I think it's been established that generally people who can't relate in some way to asexuality are struggling to understand it
    Even the people who claim to have it aren't making much sense at this point, because it seems there are a whole plethora of people who identify as asexual, but with their own understanding of the meaning itself. The term seems to have lost a lot of meaning because of this.
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    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    Not really, I think the problem is that people are using terms without having first thought about what their definition is, and then getting themselves in a muddle of self-contradictions.
    I think that while you are partially correct, your particular brand of intransigence doesn't gel at all with the lexicographic approach to dictionary compilation.
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    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    Not really, I think the problem is that people are using terms without having first thought about what their definition is, and then getting themselves in a muddle of self-contradictions.
    What I've got from your posts are that you're essentially trying to rule out its existence. It's all well said and done looking up a definition but it's generally difficult trying to explain emotions. I agree some of the comments on here come across not well explained because it can be difficult to describe emotions. I don't understand why you can't accept that people want to identify to asexuality because they can relate to it. It's a thing!! It exists and it will continue to exist despite your opinion
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Even the people who claim to have it aren't making much sense at this point, because it seems there are a whole plethora of people who identify as asexual, but with their own understanding of the meaning itself. The term seems to have lost a lot of meaning because of this.
    I get where you are coming from but it's difficult to put across emotions into words and also asexuality exists as a spectrum so people can identify with it in different ways
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    What I've got from your posts are that you're essentially trying to rule out its existence. It's all well said and done looking up a definition but it's generally difficult trying to explain emotions. I agree some of the comments on here come across not well explained because it can be difficult to describe emotions. I don't understand why you can't accept that people want to identify to asexuality because they can relate to it. It's a thing!! It exists and it will continue to exist despite your opinion
    I think his position is more that asexuality, as he recognises the term, is not compatible with any form of libido or sexual energy, in fact conflating the former with the absence of the latter two. The point then follows that it is a "condition", in the sense that a lack of sexual feeling and libido is unhealthy, and can be indicative of physiological problems.

    The cause of this debate is his intransigence in accepting alternative uses of the word, and everyone else's refusal or otherwise inability to understand his position.
    • #5
    #5

    I'm so glad to see this thread. Whenever I try mentioning asexuality I get ignorant relies like "you're just not ready yet", "you had bad experience", "you're a troll".

    Asexuality does exists but it doesn't have such urgent priority to get recognised as much as other sexualities where ppl are bullied/stoned/killed etc for.
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    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    because it describes conscious decisions, ie "no interest", not underlying desires. Its therefore unfit for purpose as a definition of a type of sexuality.

    A heterosexual person may decide they don't have interest in sexual activity for whatever reason. That doesn't change their underlying sexuality.

    I just wish people would think a bit more deeply about these topics before arguing about it.
    It doesn't, I've just said this. An asexual person doesn't make the conscious decision not to want sex. It comes naturally just like the sexuality of any other person.

    I believe I may have confused you in use of the word ''interest''. By ''interest'' I mean ''want''. For example, if I am interested in having a large house that means I'd want a large house. Asexuality encompasses what people do not want to do, ie what people have little interest in doing.

    Yes, if a heterosexual person decides that they don't want sex then that doesn't change their underlying sexuality.

    (Original post by Infraspecies)
    The term "asexual" is unspecific, and is used to refer to a lot of things. He is right, the word can be used to refer to one without sexual feeling.

    A better way to represent your position is "without orientation". That is unambiguous.
    I know, I did say this!

    I wouldn't say I'm without orientation. On the romantic side of things I am attracted to both men and women, so I am 'bisexual' in that regard (using the term very loosely of course!). The word ''asexual'' describes my sexual feelings, desires and interests (or lack thereof).
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    (Original post by SHallowvale)
    It doesn't, I've just said this. An asexual person doesn't make the conscious decision not to want sex. It comes naturally just like the sexuality of any other person.

    I believe I may have confused you in use of the word ''interest''. By ''interest'' I mean ''want''. For example, if I am interested in having a large house that means I'd want a large house. Asexuality encompasses what people do not want to do, ie what people have little interest in doing.

    Yes, if a heterosexual person decides that they don't want sex then that doesn't change their underlying sexuality.



    I know, I did say this!
    .
    Interest and want is not the same thing. I may want a large house but I have no interest in buying one. But I understand that you simply used the wrong word and we'll move on.

    So you're saying an asexual has no sexual "want".

    Another word for sexual want is "sexual desire". A synonym of sexual desire is libido.

    So you are agreeing with me that an asexual person has no libido.

    I wouldn't say I'm without orientation. On the romantic side of things I am attracted to both men and women, so I am 'bisexual' in that regard (using the term very loosely of course!). The word ''asexual'' describes my sexual feelings, desires and interests (or lack thereof)
    Logically incoherent. "Attracted to both men and women" implies a sexual attraction.

    "On the romantic side of things". Again, this is contradictory. Romance is a feature of sexual relationships, it does not exist without sexuality. "romantic feelings" is another way of saying "sexual feelings".
 
 
 
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