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Christians on TSR: Advice please? watch

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    Cherry82, you're coming across very holier than thou at the moment. Please tone it down a peg, you're making us Christians seem so condescending..
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi,
    I'm a Christian who believes in no sex before marriage. My beliefs and life decision in this isnt popular amongst my peers, with many of them making nasty comments such as calling me "frigid" and putting pressure on me. Its also very unpopular with guys; my ex cheated on me and was horrible to me because i woukd not sleep with him.

    I am beginning to feel lonely and like I wont find anyone accepting of my beliefs. So i wondered, if you are a Christian on TSR, how highly do you regard your virginity? Is my belief an old fashioned Christian belief that doesnt fit society? What should I do generally? Any advice would be appreciated.

    Thanks x
    I'm a Christian - Orthodox by theology, Anglican by necessity.

    Personally, I see nothing wrong with having sex outside of marriage, provided it's done between people who have the requisite feelings. There isn't any direct scriptural basis for the notion that sex outside of marriage is wrong (except adultery, which is sex outside of a marriage of which either you or the other party are part); all other references to sex outside marriage are specifically to prostitution.

    Basically, if you feel the time is right for you and your partner, and you aren't making it into something furtive and corrupt, it isn't wrong.

    Also, there isn't anything 'old-fashioned' about not having sex. People have been doing it for millennia - they just didn't talk about it as openly as we do now.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Cherry82, you're coming across very holier than thou at the moment. Please tone it down a peg, you're making us Christians seem so condescending..
    Holier than thou???
    What does that even mean?
    Please quote me in the near future so I can understand. I do not see how what I have said is wrong.
    Actually, now thinking about your comment- I think I know who this is, your use of words and writing style is quite similar to someone else on here...I could be completely wrong. Any way, I do not like where this thread is going to. I mean how could a Christian tell another Christian they are coming off too holy? It does not make sense. As some religious riddles may say 'the devil is a liar' LOL :rofl3:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Cherry82, you're coming across very holier than thou at the moment. Please tone it down a peg, you're making us Christians seem so condescending..
    She isn't being holier than thou by stating we should live our lives like Christ.
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    (Original post by bekinwari)
    She isn't being holier than thou by stating we should live our lives like Christ.
    Thank you so much sis <3
    Also many thanks for following me, I really appreciate it. I will most definitely follow you back xx
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    (Original post by Cherry82)
    To XcitingStuart, I know this may sound all preachy and I know you may not believe in all I have stated but even with the things the bible says about homosexuality, I really do believe God loves you. And because he loves you just as he loves everyone else, for Tyler to speak to you so degradingly as if you're not even a human being shocks me, especially because this person identifies themselves as a Christian.
    Interesting choice of words, but then it would be quite a feat for you to use 'is Christian' instead, because obviously any Christian whose behaviour you disagree with is a fake one.

    Also, his name isn't actually Tyler. Tyler Clementi was a gay teenager who committed suicide a few years back after being subjected to homophobic bullying and humiliation by his roommate - the fact that this user has appropriated his name should tell you something about him.
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    (Original post by Hydeman)
    I'd say it's one or the other in this instance.
    Not true.
    (Original post by Hydeman)
    Your use of the anonymous function says something about how much water you think your argument really holds.
    No, it shows how Christians are afraid of being abused for their religion, like Muslims are doing a the moment.
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    (Original post by 04MR17)
    No, it shows how Christians are afraid of being abused for their religion, like Muslims are doing a the moment.
    Yes, I'm aware that Christians, in particular, exist in a two-speed system where they're either persecutor or persecuted. For all those English speakers out there, substitute 'being abused for their religion' with 'having their ideas challenged in an accountable manner.'

    It's very telling that you think it's okay to patronise with things like 'don't let sex control you' from behind the anonymous function and see any criticism of that as 'abuse.'

    Back under your rock with you, silly boy (or girl or something else)...
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    I am sorry that you have found yourself in this situation OP.

    Choosing not to have sex before you got married is going to be something that you have put a lot of thought into and that you have come to the decision to do because you feel that it is the right thing for you to do. Real friends shouldn't criticise or belittle your choices and someone who really loves you shouldn't cheat on your.

    Yes the decision not to have sex before you get married is one that goes against a lot of what is being thrown at you by our current culture and it isn't a typical decision. However that doesn't mean that it isn't the right decision for you. Is there anyone at your church that you can talk to about the difficulties that you are having in confidence. Someone who has gone through the same things that you are going through and who can support you through it. It might be helpful to talk to other people who have made the same choice as you but are a few years older.

    I am not going to say that dating will necessarily be easy but it is possible. I would suggest being upfront with anyone that you do start dating as that way you both know where you stand. Please remember that any man who would cheat on you because you won't sleep with him isn't worth crying over (a genuine guy who realised that a relationship without sex is not something that he can cope with would end the relationship not cheat on you).

    I know many of my friends who did not have sex with their not husbands/wives before getting married and I have many other friends who are currently single or dating and not sexually active. If that is what you want to do then please stick to it because no one worth it should force you to change what you believe in.
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    (Original post by Hydeman)
    Interesting choice of words, but then it would be quite a feat for you to use 'is Christian' instead, because obviously any Christian whose behaviour you disagree with is a fake one.

    Also, his name isn't actually Tyler. Tyler Clementi was a gay teenager who committed suicide a few years back after being subjected to homophobic bullying and humiliation by his roommate - the fact that this user has appropriated his name should tell you something about him.
    Well as you can see- I am done debating with you.
    If you have nothing else better to say or do, then please avoid saying anything at all to me because I have moved on.
    Even with me, I 'identify' myself as a Christian. With any one who calls themselves a Christian but does 'Un-Christlike' deeds and things, they should be questioned. And that goes for any religion, not just Christianity. I just find it very intriguing that you are so particular about how I address other Christians and how you are so interested in that area...
    Overall, I am trying to move away from debating and move more towards giving advice to other fellow Christians since this was and is the purpose of this thread.

    Oh my gosh, how insensitive and inhuman could someone be? :mad:
    See these are the things I am against! I really hope he is not trying to make mockery about the situation?
    What is going on here?!
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    (Original post by Cherry82)
    Well as you can see- I am done debating with you.
    If you have nothing else better to say or do, then please avoid saying anything at all to me because I have moved on.
    Even with me, I 'identify' myself as a Christian. With any one who calls themselves a Christian but does 'Un-Christlike' deeds and things, they should be questioned. And that goes for any religion, not just Christianity. I just find it very intriguing that you are so particular about how I address other Christians and how you are so interested in that area...
    Overall, I am trying to move away from debating and move more towards giving advice to other fellow Christians since this was and is the purpose of this thread.

    Oh my gosh, how insensitive and inhuman could someone be? :mad:
    See these are the things I am against! I really hope he is not trying to make mockery about the situation?
    What is going on here?!
    He [TylerClementi] goes across threads, slandering gay people, and in his previous (now banned) account, called SpringBreaker, he was telling me to go "un-invite myself from existence, like Tyler Clementi (a gay teen who committed suicide presumably because his roommate leaked a video of him kissing another man)." Due to his style of posting, and the reoccurring theme of Tyler Clementi, I realised the user TylerClementi was the banned user SpringBreaker, and probably chose that name [TylerClementi] to take the piss, because that was probably partially why his old account was banned.

    Just because I took apart an argument of his on his previous account, we had an ensuing discussion, with him writing essays of insults. I quoted some of them a while back.

    When he asked why would gay people want to get married, if it's religious, I gave reasons, perfectly valid reasons, and he just insulted me back.

    As soon as I realised his choice in username, I was disgusted by him, and i showed some of the disgust in my posts.

    Unfortunately our conflict has taken a hold in this thread.

    edit: P.S. I did insult him back on multiple occasions, but no where near to the extent he given insults to me.

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    (Original post by Cherry82)
    Well as you can see- I am done debating with you.
    If you have nothing else better to say or do, then please avoid saying anything at all to me because I have moved on.
    Even with me, I 'identify' myself as a Christian. With any one who calls themselves a Christian but does 'Un-Christlike' deeds and things, they should be questioned. And that goes for any religion, not just Christianity. I just find it very intriguing that you are so particular about how I address other Christians and how you are so interested in that area...
    Overall, I am trying to move away from debating and move more towards giving advice to other fellow Christians since this was and is the purpose of this thread.

    Oh my gosh, how insensitive and inhuman could someone be? :mad:
    See these are the things I am against! I really hope he is not trying to make mockery about the situation?
    What is going on here?!
    One tip, though: if you're going to say 'I'm done debating with you' at the start of a post, don't then go on to throw out a bunch of bait for debate. It looks very desperate in that it looks like you're trying to have the last laugh or take the last shot.

    And, no, I'm not very interested in how you address other Christians. I just made an observation that you refuse to even recognise that they are Christian because they do something that you disagree with.

    This is what I call the John Lennox fallacy: avoid having to face up to the faults of your religion by descending into a slouch and going on in a long, droning speech about how 'the Christianity of my parents' is the real Christianity and, therefore, the others are just fakers whose behaviour can't come from their religion.

    It's a silly double standard that if a Christian does something good, it's because he's following Jesus's example and loving his neighbour. But if he does something bad, it's because he's not really Christian. Well, I hope you learned something - I certainly didn't.
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    (Original post by XcitingStuart)
    He [TylerClementi] goes across threads, slandering gay people, and in his previous (now banned) account, called SpringBreaker, he was telling me to go "un-invite myself from existence, like Tyler Clementi (a gay teen who committed suicide presumably because his roommate leaked a video of him kissing another man)." Due to his style of posting, and the reoccurring theme of Tyler Clementi, I realised the user TylerClementi was the banned user SpringBreaker, and probably chose that name [TylerClementi] to take the piss, because that was probably partially why his old account was banned.

    Just because I took apart an argument of his on his previous account, we had an ensuing discussion, with him writing essays of insults. I quoted some of them a while back.

    When he asked why would gay people want to get married, if it's religious, I gave reasons, perfectly valid reasons, and he just insulted me back.

    As soon as I realised his choice in username, I was disgusted by him, and i showed some of the disgust in my posts.

    Unfortunately our conflict has taken a hold in this thread.

    edit: P.S. I did insult him back on multiple occasions, but no where near to the extent he given insults to me.

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    Oh no :cry2: I am so sorry about this all. I feel bad about the guy who committed suicide too, poor guy. This is not how we as Christians should approach situations such as this. What happened to following Jesus and his footsteps. I am not saying you have to agree but my goodness, be compassionate and understanding to other people.
    Like I was saying before, XcitingStuart you... no one deserves this kind of treatment! I think users such as this should be reported as soon as possible.
    I love Christians, especially the Christian community on TSR but I cannot tolerate or be in favour of acts projected by hatred. Fair enough he does not agree but this is taking it way too far. Ah, I do not support this kind of behaviour at all and I am sure other Christians here would agree too. I am truly sorry.
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    (Original post by Cherry82)
    Oh no :cry2: I am so sorry about this all. I feel bad about the guy who committed suicide too, poor guy. This is not how we as Christians should approach situations such as this. What happened to following Jesus and his footsteps. I am not saying you have to agree but my goodness, be compassionate and understanding to other people.
    Like I was saying before, XcitingStuart you... no one deserves this kind of treatment! I think users such as this should be reported as soon as possible.
    I love Christians, especially the Christian community on TSR but I cannot tolerate or be in favour of acts projected by hatred. Fair enough he does not agree but this is taking it way too far. Ah, I do not support this kind of behaviour at all and I am sure other Christians here would agree too. I am truly sorry.
    Thank you, a lot, but it's not your fault, nor do you have to apologise on anyone else's behalf.
    But thanks again for your sincerity.
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    (Original post by Cherry82)
    Oh no :cry2: I am so sorry about this all. I feel bad about the guy who committed suicide too, poor guy. This is not how we as Christians should approach situations such as this. What happened to following Jesus and his footsteps. I am not saying you have to agree but my goodness, be compassionate and understanding to other people.
    Like I was saying before, XcitingStuart you... no one deserves this kind of treatment! I think users such as this should be reported as soon as possible.
    I love Christians, especially the Christian community on TSR but I cannot tolerate or be in favour of acts projected by hatred. Fair enough he does not agree but this is taking it way too far. Ah, I do not support this kind of behaviour at all and I am sure other Christians here would agree too. I am truly sorry.
    Totally agree with you. Just wanted to say, I did report at least one of those posts and I presume other people here too have reported. Have heard nothing from CT yet
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    (Original post by Hydeman)
    One tip, though: if you're going to say 'I'm done debating with you' at the start of a post, don't then go on to throw out a bunch of bait for debate. It looks very desperate in that it looks like you're trying to have the last laugh or take the last shot.

    And, no, I'm not very interested in how you address other Christians. I just made an observation that you refuse to even recognise that they are Christian because they do something that you disagree with.

    This is what I call the John Lennox fallacy: avoid having to face up to the faults of your religion by descending into a slouch and going on in a long, droning speech about how 'the Christianity of my parents' is the real Christianity and, therefore, the others are just fakers whose behaviour can't come from their religion.

    It's a silly double standard that if a Christian does something good, it's because he's following Jesus's example and loving his neighbour. But if he does something bad, it's because he's not really Christian. Well, I hope you learned something - I certainly didn't.
    Wait, is it not amusing that out of no where, you magically showed up again thinking you could make another 'insightful' point? I mean really? After I had responded to your previous response, I received no reply back and judging from your last post before that, thought you where somehow gone since you quoted 'good day' as your final but dramatic response Jokes aside, I am seriously done speaking with you on this issue and I wish you an awesome week. As this conversation we are currently having is now pointless and drifts off what is truly important, I think it is time for me to take imitative and try to end it. Overall, I am glad that I had stated my points, it was annoying lol but I would have to admit, also compelling speaking with you. Now, trying to focus on why I am here in the first place- does any one know how the OP is doing? I was a bit worried as there was no response back from her. Also I really hope the user TylerClementi is being investigated by TSR mods.
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    (Original post by XcitingStuart)
    Thank you, a lot, but it's not your fault, nor do you have to apologise on anyone else's behalf.
    But thanks again for your sincerity.
    My pleasure. Though we had and still do have our differences in terms of beliefs- I have nothing but care for you and for the other members on TSR. It is definitely ok for people to disagree but it is not ok to degrade others. I know but to sit around and watch this happen, I would be equally responsible if I did not say anything or do anything.
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    Totally agree with you. Just wanted to say, I did report at least one of those posts and I presume other people here too have reported. Have heard nothing from CT yet
    I am glad that actions are taking place, thank you x
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    (Original post by Hydeman)
    Yes, I'm aware that Christians, in particular, exist in a two-speed system where they're either persecutor or persecuted.
    I didn't say that, put the past behind you and focus on the future I say.
    (Original post by Hydeman)
    For all those English speakers out there, substitute 'being abused for their religion' with 'having their ideas challenged in an accountable manner.'
    Oh so you now claim that you are on a philosophical crusade when launching insults at people who stand up for their beliefs. Did you just mention about a persecutor...
    (Original post by Hydeman)
    It's very telling that you think it's okay to patronise with things like 'don't let sex control you'
    I didn't say that. I don't represent Christianity as a whole never mind the hundreds and thousands of different factions.
    (Original post by Hydeman)
    from behind the anonymous function and see any criticism of that as 'abuse.'
    I wasn't being anonymous. Don't categorize all Christians by the actions of a few.
    (Original post by Hydeman)
    Back under your rock with you, silly boy (or girl or something else)...
    Be more polite you hooligan!
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    Hiya, I'm a Christian too and I want to save sex for after marriage too. I think that as one of the others said up there, it's a very special event that connects you to your partner on some deeper level; I want to be sure that it's the guy I"m going to spend the rest of my life with before I decide to sleep with him! At the moment in school I don't feel any pressure to have sex but I expect that at uni next year things will get harder... Prayer is important. Remind yourself why you said 'no sex before marriage' in the first place, and try and find some others with a similar view - maybe at the university CU - to go to when you need more support!
 
 
 
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