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If you could write your personal statement totally honestly, what would you say? watch

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    Dear university famalam
    pls accept me
    ur my only hope
    Lots of luv xoxoxoxo
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    My personal statement was written honestly something I'm very proud of - I am one of very few who can say that.

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    My original personal statement declared that my ambition in life was to be the next Springwatch presenter!
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    (Original post by lucymellor)
    'Why am I interested in biochemistry? Because it's interesting to me. You keep asking me this, teachers keep asking me this, family keep asking me this. Is there actually another answer??? I'm not trying to be sarcastic, genuinely curious here. Everyone is interested in their subject because it's interesting to them. Frankly you should come up with some better questions.'
    YES! I totally agree!
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    I don't give a fuсk about the course, I just want to make money and fuсk *****es after I graduate
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    I really don't know what to put here. I mean, I like math and computers and robots, and I've done all the extra reading and whatnot and outside activities and had fun, but I'm taking a comparative government class and I love it and I'm super excited about it. I decided like two days ago that I wanted to apply for PPE and international relations, but then I realized that that stuff doesn't pay as well and your admissions officers would probably care about my mediocre writing SAT and probably reject me. Also what would I write about in my PS, like how the hell do I stretch my reading and discussing the economist weekly for the past ten years into an entire PS... So, now I'm applying for CS/Maths with CS/CS with robotics, and, while everything I'm writing here is true, I'm still not sure whether I care more about CS than PPE. Also, the reason I'm requesting a gap year? It's not so I can attend a US uni and "adapt to a university setting separately from moving to a new country." It's because my brother got depressed as **** and dropped out of uni twice and my parents are afraid to send me to the UK for uni in case I get super depressed. Also, I think a US liberal arts education would be a better fit for me to find my interests, but I can't get into a top US Uni cause my grades kinda suck, but you guys don't want a transcript, just AP and SAT scores and I'm good at taking tests so I have a chance at top UK Unis. I mostly just want to live in a country where walmart doesn't sell guns and I don't have my government teacher telling us how the virginia tech shooter had government in this very classroom and was quite obviously a ****ed up kid. I care if you let me in, partly because if I can tell people that I got into oxford, they might not think I'm a lazy ass for not doing homework or studying much. I'm not even sure if I want to study in the UK, I've never been out of the US, I don't even have a passport. Anyways, oxford, please interview me, because that gives me an excuse to visit england and actually see what not-america is like. Also, preparing for the MAT is fun, like actually fun, and UCAS is so much less painful than common app.
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    "Hey you! Give me an offer!"
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    I'm not actually going to apply to a university in the UK, but here's what I would write if I were being stupidly honest and wanted to apply for a psychology course. I thought it would be entertaining. It's especially funny if you understand psychology and have a good sense of schadenfreude. LOL.

    I'm an American that wants to be able to boast about studying in Europe in order to appear sophisticated, but without actually having to face the unpleasantness of being surrounded by people who speak foreign languages or eat strange foods like snails. Psychology will hopefully help me to figure out exactly what is wrong with me and my family, as my emotionally distant father with a phallic fixation on gun ownership has been divorced three times and tries to buy my love with money, my mother has low self-esteem and keeps attracting abusive men, whilst I'm plagued with phobias of snakes, sexuality, dogs, and insects.

    Competition is used as a buzzword for everything, so the idea of taking AP classes in high school was intimidating because they exaggerated their expectations in order to make it sound as if it required total dedication to the class, and being better than everyone else in order to survive the ordeal.

    It turns out that most people overestimate their own abilities to the point that they see themselves as above average and are thus attracted to things that are designed for the best people without pausing to doubt their own competence or deservingness of said things. My future psychology teacher took over a history class and found out that I was interested in psychology, so she actually lied and said that there was a normal psychology class available to sign up for. She had the counsellor lie to me as well next year when I went to sign up for it, and didn't tell me I was in an AP class until near the end when I had to take the test. That's the only reason I have any AP credits at all.

    Most opportunities that have presented themselves to me seemed like closed doors, because they kept talking about wanting the best people and being extremely competitive places to work, and it was frustrating because I wanted to work in a place that wasn't competitive and where doing your job adequately and properly without striving to top everyone else was sufficient.

    No one seemed to have an answer for me when I asked what sort of opportunities were available to ordinary people who are adequate but not exceptional. There were only confused glares and suggestions of going to community college or becoming a janitor, but even janitorial services kept talking about wanting the best people. So my life essentially went nowhere because I spent the majority of it seeking places that weren't looking for the best people, and thought there had to be places in society for people who weren't the best.

    So, in conclusion, psychology appeals to me intellectually. However, my accomplishments are few and drifting through life for eight years taking classes at community college intermittently really hasn't prepared me for anything of consequence. I wouldn't expect any university in the world to accept someone like me. I probably wouldn't accept myself in your place either. Sorry to have wasted your time.
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    This is the only thing I truly care about and my future depends on how you judge this poxy statement. Please be kind. I'll get the grades, I have the work experience and I've read the books. Maybe I'll write my own book one day- see I'm quite ambitious. Now let's not waste each others time, we know how this ends. You won't really take me despite how articulately written this is. It all depends on my grades. Sigh.
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    (Original post by MrInsanity)
    I want to study Pharmacy because. Honestly, I don’t want to study Pharmacy, I choose to apply to this course because I’m studying Chemistry which is remotely tolerable. I’m only studying Chemistry because I got an A* in my Biology mock, yes that’s right Biology, and my imbecile of a P.E Teacher decided that Chemistry goes quite well Biology and well, here I am. Why should you accept me to your prestigious university? In all seriousness you probably shouldn’t, I’m lazy, don’t apply myself and sometimes quite damn rude, but I also sometimes get good grades and that’s all you’re really after so cut the bull****, stop pretending like you’re reading this and make me an offer. I could go on about my passion for the subject, which I have never studied and know absolutely nothing about, but that would be a waste a valuable of ATP, oh look another useless term we learned in Biology. Quite frankly the term ‘higher education’ fills my soul with utter disgust and shame, does this mean I will not attend a higher education institution? Of course not. After all I’m a grammar school boy and that’s just what we do. I’m sure by now you have received my dazzling reference that highlights my brilliance and calibre and informs you of why I would be an asset to your course and community but unfortunately unlike this personal statement that is complete bull****. Even my own colleague’s question my motive for attending my current school and are often left baffled and perplexed as to how I even achieved the entry requirement of 4 A’s and 3 B’s to continue my education into Sixth Form. If I’m being totally honest I don’t actually want to ‘study’ anything at university, I just want to go because I’m bored at home and my school won’t accommodate me unless I plan on repeating the year. My teachers strongly advised me against sending this personal statement, but what do they know, they’re only teaching because they screwed up their A-Levels and/or wrote a dodgy personal statement so I decided it was in my best interests to ignore their often quite rude requests. After reading your recipe for a ‘good’ personal statement in which you were clear on avoiding clichés and plagiarism which I am sure I have done I will no doubt be expecting at least 5 unconditional offers, also feel free to forward my personal statement to any universities I haven’t applied to as I’m sure they’ll be dying to take me. I would insert a section here about all the further reading I had completed but that would detract from the honesty and integrity of this personal statement. If you don’t make me an offer I might end up poor and homeless because my teacher once said those without a degree earn up to ten times less than their ‘successful’ counterparts. Without a degree I would be forced to pursue my real dream as a drug dealer hoping to one day lead my own successful illegal drug empire from the comfort of my own home with my family none the wiser, Gus Fring from Breaking Bad filled me with the belief that this dream is possible although I don’t hope to die in such a theatrical manner. The real reason you should take me is that you probably have a quota for people of colour, I’m a good liar and I thoroughly enjoy a good meal, what more could you ask for? A wise man once said to me “If you keep seeing what you want to see, you’ll turn blind”, I was that wise man. Many said I would never get anywhere with this personal statement and because they said it couldn’t be done, I did it.
    I laughed so hard!!:hahaha::hahaha::hahaha:
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    I like rocks.
    You teach rocks.
    Do we have an agreement?
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    I actually wrote my personal statement honestly and nothing was made up.
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    I predate personal statements and I think the train I am now sitting on predates Brunel.

    I would have written:

    The Deputy Principal, who has a Mr Chips complex, thinks I should apply to Oxbridge. The Cambridge prospectus is incomprehensible, so Oxford it is. I've gone off geography, can't do economics without philosophy, haven't got enough maths to read it and don't have the Greek to read theology. Law it is then.


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    (Original post by member1753327)
    x
    How did you get around the swearing filter? :ninja:
    And ... was it worth the effort?
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    (Original post by Mpagtches)
    How did you get around the swearing filter? :ninja:
    And ... was it worth the effort?
    I don't know the swearing filter doesn't work on me because Im alpha, u dig?
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    I haven't actually wanted to be a doctor my whole life, and the decision didn't come to me in some massive epiphany, either. No, the moment came in year 8 science in a lesson about hydraulics, when I was dicking about with a plastic syringe and decided I felt super professional whilst using it. Before this moment I was looking into veterinary, but wasn't particularly keen on having to put down cute little kittens for a living, so here I am.
    Spoiler:
    Show
    I feel I have to state now that the reasons I actually put down in my PS were also legit and probably influenced the decision a lot more than this initial moment did lol
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    I was totally honest on my personal statement.
    I only wrote the truth, didn't even speak about my work experience, but still got an offer from Warwick university.
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    My personal statement was honest, all of it.
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    (Original post by Fogglyfogfoo)
    Dear sir/madam,

    Firstly I'd like to express my sincere condolences for having been forced to sit and read through a bunch boring heavy words stringed together, that compeltely lack emotion thanks to the strict guidelines on what not to write, from about a thousand students. But hey it pays the bills so good for you.

    I'll cut to the god honest truth, I have Asian parents. That should just be self explanatory but in case it isn't; that means I'm positively f***ed if I don't get in to university so if you've ever wanted to save someone's life, here's your chance, accept me and I get to endure five glorious sheltered years of medicine, with no social life, while also continuing to breathe and exist. I will forever be in your debt.

    Now as to my interests in being a doctor and my skills and yada yada I did work experience, it was plain depressing, I have decent grades, my parents are however far from content. I like sciences but I believe that it is inexcusable to have had gone through five years of learning about plants asexual reproduction, which frankly I think is compeltely boring and unfortunate. I do like helping other people. Yet I am almost a 100% certain I like dogs and cats better than humans and much rather help them. That was until my friend told me about how her dog once ate a plastic bad and he was severely constipated and the vet had to come and literally pull the plastic from inside his butt using his hands protected only by gloves and so, understandably, it threw me off the profession a bit. I don't want to have to put animals to sleep, put my hands up their butt or work with cows in a farm because they bloody stink. Then there's also the fact that I once saw Martha Jones from doctor who reciting all the bones on the human hand in series 3 and I seriously doubt I have the competency to handle memorising everything about one anatomy let alone several.

    If that's not convincing enough, I assure you I will be a great asset to your university since I, coming from a third world country ironically enough, have to pay five times as much and is therefore an obvious cash cow. My parents would have to sell two livers one arm and five legs in the black market, even still I find them very insistent on this career path.

    I hope I have what it takes to get a place at your esteemed university and be deemed worthy enough to be a part of my extended Asian family (consisting wholly of doctors, lawyers and engineers) .

    Thank you,
    Faithfully yours forever and ever please don't let me die,
    Desperate Asian kid
    Hahahaha this is so funny!! And I am Asian too, so I can totally relate (assuming this is 100% honest).
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    hope it all works out for you...Wishing for the best!
 
 
 
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