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I'm horny but I'm not cut out for hooking up/casual sex watch

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    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    That often comes on the 2nd or 3rd date though. Just enjoy the sex in the meantime and it will come.
    I wouldn't advise this to someone who is anxious about being abandoned. Date first, sex later. Doesn't have to be much later but I'd definitely try not to invest emotional energy (if you're someone who gives emotional energy when you have sex) only for the person not to be in the same headspace as you. Get to know someone outside the bedroom to know that you are compatible in other areas of your life first.

    Great sex is great but wasted emotional energy is difficult to recover from. Oxytocin effects are stronger in women. You don't want to feel bonded to someone who isn't treating you right.

    There are some guys out there who will just go out for a few nights and prefer to develop things at a different pace.

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    (Original post by Tootles)
    I entered into it knowing it meant something, but I didn't expect it to last; as much as I felt for her, I didn't think she felt the same. I wanted to make her feel good, and was prepared for the result of that being that she was confident to go off and find the person she really wanted.
    Ah okay so it started as unrequited love/feelings in a way. You seem to be one of the lucky ones in that it all worked out. In that case I need your advice...

    I asked one of guy friends who I had massive crush on if he would like to date me and he said no as he didn't want a relationship with anyone. I've since found, partly because I've taken him off the pedestal, that he is not the person I though he was and we probably aren't very compatible in terms of a relationship but I still enjoy his company as friend. Do you think this could be a good opportunity to start a friends with benefits situation? And if so how should I go about it? He probably thinks I still like him and it might be offensive to say something along the lines of now that I'm not seeing you through rose tinted glasses, or making a fantasy of you I wouldn't date you either so let's just screw
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    (Original post by Mancini)
    [email protected]

    I'm not sure you can really say mixed women are tokens especially in today's media. If you are a token though you are a privileged token who has replaced the black token thus annoying a lot of black women. Damn some women seem to not mind being tokens though they even celebrate it as long as they get the attention , not talking about you of course.
    I'm mixed with Asian too (1/4) by the way. To be honest like I said I'm not bothered I'm just stating that mixed women are not glorified really we are just after thoughts, as with other women of colour but really I don't have much feelings about it and I never said it was right or wrong. I want a guy to like me for me anyway.
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    (Original post by Mancini)
    Well I think you should judge all men individually and not of a few experiences from your past. The men in your life at present would have nothing to do with your past pains.
    True, not all men are the same and it is not to say it will happen again. But at the same point I no one owes me anything if I don't know where I stand and just jump into bed with men then I can't complain if I do get humped and dumped It would seem very unwise of me to sleep with men prematurely in hopes of 'what if'.
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    (Original post by Eveiebaby)
    I wouldn't advise this to someone who is anxious about being abandoned. Date first, sex later. Doesn't have to be much later but I'd definitely try not to invest emotional energy (if you're someone who gives emotional energy when you have sex) only for the person not to be in the same headspace as you. Get to know someone outside the bedroom to know that you are compatible in other areas of your life first.

    Great sex is great but wasted emotional energy is difficult to recover from. Oxytocin effects are stronger in women. You don't want to feel bonded to someone who isn't treating you right.

    There are some guys out there who will just go out for a few nights and prefer to develop things at a different pace.

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    Yes even if it did end up casual I would still like to get to know them outside the bedroom first. Yes unfortunately I do give emotional energy I give it my all. Not sure how to switch that off any still enjoy myself.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm mixed with Asian too (1/4) by the way. To be honest like I said I'm not bothered I'm just stating that mixed women are not glorified really we are just after thoughts, as with other women of colour but really I don't have much feelings about it and I never said it was right or wrong. I want a guy to like me for me anyway.
    If sounds to me like there's some odd sort of victim complex going on with you. It seems you think of yourself as an after thought and think that white women have all the glory, you should not think like that.
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    (Original post by Mancini)
    If sounds to me like there's some odd sort of victim complex going on with you. It seems you think of yourself as an after thought and think that white women have all the glory you should not think like that.
    No I didn't say that. Yes white women get all the glory in an industry controlled and owned by white people. Now that's the media and besides the issue. Because we all know that in real life your average white woman looks nothing like Megan Fox and beauty standards are hard for any woman (or even man) to keep up to regardless of race. In real life most people stick to their own race. I don't have my own race to stick to or fall back on.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    No I didn't say that. Yes white women get all the glory in an industry controlled and owned by white people. Now that's the media and besides the issue. Because we all know that in real life your average white woman looks nothing like Megan Fox and beauty standards are hard for any woman (or even man) to keep up to regardless of race. In real life most people stick to their own race. I don't have my own race to stick to or fall back on.
    Once again you attack white women , that Megan fox comment not even needed and stop looking at people as races. You say you don't have a race to fall back on Wtf are you talking about?

    Are you telling me when you go out and meet guys you search for colour? Not personality and getting to know people black/white/Asian whatever. Start looking at people as people not races and maybe your relationship opportunity will improve, sure I know we are different skin colours but this way of looking at people as races does not help you.

    I do wonder what type of guy you are actually attracted to though.
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    (Original post by Mancini)
    Once again you attack white women , that Megan fox comment not even needed and stop looking at people as races. You say you don't have a race to fall back on Wtf are you talking about?

    Are you telling me when you go out and meet guys you search for colour? Not personality and getting to know people black/white/Asian whatever. Start looking at people as people not races and maybe your relationship opportunity will improve, sure I know we are different skin colours but this way of looking at people as races does not help you.

    I do wonder what type of guy you are actually attracted to though.
    Ah okay you are so adamant that you were not attacking mixed women and yet I am attacking white women?? I said I'm not bothered by it, it is what it is and even you said I should not be surprised by seeing mostly white European women in a place that has majority white European people. Fine by me. My own mother is white so why would I honestly care?

    I was stating that the majority of people stick to their own race. Naturally, this makes it hard for someone who cannot fit into one box but hops between 3. I'm not saying anyone is wrong for sticking to their own.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ah okay so it started as unrequited love/feelings in a way. You seem to be one of the lucky ones in that it all worked out. In that case I need your advice...

    I asked one of guy friends who I had massive crush on if he would like to date me and he said no as he didn't want a relationship with anyone. I've since found, partly because I've taken him off the pedestal, that he is not the person I though he was and we probably aren't very compatible in terms of a relationship but I still enjoy his company as friend. Do you think this could be a good opportunity to start a friends with benefits situation? And if so how should I go about it? He probably thinks I still like him and it might be offensive to say something along the lines of now that I'm not seeing you through rose tinted glasses, or making a fantasy of you I wouldn't date you either so let's just screw
    If you need a seeing to, you need a seeing to :p: it might be worth asking. I've had that kind of thing happen before...

    Spoiler:
    Show
    ...actually it was more along the lines of:
    Me: Hi, how's things?
    Her: Not bad but life's a ******
    Me: Nothing wrong with being a ******
    Her: Meh, toy's run out of batteries
    Me: Need a hand with that? Haha
    Her: Be round in half an hour, I'll leave the door unlocked

    And I didn't get to sleep until four o'clock that night.


    At that point, I was single and hadn't seen action in about six months, and while my flirting started out without intentions, I didn't say no when her intentions became clear.

    Though that's probably different, because she was an ex from about two years beforehand - I have tried to retain some level of friendship with my exes.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ah okay you are so adamant that you were not attacking mixed women and yet I am attacking white women?? I said I'm not bothered by it, it is what it is and even you said I should not be surprised by seeing mostly white European women in a place that has majority white European people. Fine by me. My own mother is white so why would I honestly care?

    I was stating that the majority of people stick to their own race. Naturally, this makes it hard for someone who cannot fit into one box but hops between 3. I'm not saying anyone is wrong for sticking to their own.
    I am adamant that I was not attacking mixed women and you even agreed that you did not think I attacked mixed women so odd for you to bring it up.

    Why I think you are attacking white women perhaps indirectly is because you keep repeating this idea of them being the most sought of beauty through the media . If you don't care stop repeating it and stop going on about races, for a mixed women it seems you find it very hard to look past race.
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    message me pm and i'll sort you out with a caring guy that won't be sordid.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hello, please keep anon!

    So anyway I am a female and it's been a long time since I've had sex... Relieving myself just isn't cutting it one bit.

    I know it would be quite easy to find a ONS or a FWB but the problem is I can't seperate sex and emotions and trust is an important aspect for me too. No guys are asking me out on dates let alone to be in a relationship so it may be a while before I get a boyfriend, if ever.

    I'm so horny I've actually cried my eyes out over this.

    Serious answers only please. What should I do?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hello, please keep anon!

    So anyway I am a female and it's been a long time since I've had sex... Relieving myself just isn't cutting it one bit.

    I know it would be quite easy to find a ONS or a FWB but the problem is I can't seperate sex and emotions and trust is an important aspect for me too. No guys are asking me out on dates let alone to be in a relationship so it may be a while before I get a boyfriend, if ever.

    I'm so horny I've actually cried my eyes out over this.

    Serious answers only please. What should I do?
    Have a ****.
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    Dildo
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hello, please keep anon!

    So anyway I am a female and it's been a long time since I've had sex... Relieving myself just isn't cutting it one bit.

    I know it would be quite easy to find a ONS or a FWB but the problem is I can't seperate sex and emotions and trust is an important aspect for me too. No guys are asking me out on dates let alone to be in a relationship so it may be a while before I get a boyfriend, if ever.

    I'm so horny I've actually cried my eyes out over this.

    Serious answers only please. What should I do?

    go out, get dked down. Problem solved.
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    Did you ever get sorted?
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    Just a phone call away
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hello, please keep anon!

    So anyway I am a female and it's been a long time since I've had sex... Relieving myself just isn't cutting it one bit.

    I know it would be quite easy to find a ONS or a FWB but the problem is I can't seperate sex and emotions and trust is an important aspect for me too. No guys are asking me out on dates let alone to be in a relationship so it may be a while before I get a boyfriend, if ever.

    I'm so horny I've actually cried my eyes out over this.

    Serious answers only please. What should I do?
    I love now sex didn't before but its like now I want it I get physico and annoyed at not.. So I understand ur frustration.. It's hard to separate the sex, lust wow sex and I don't do casual.. My body, my temple. But it hard to not be drawn in. Be patient it will happen and it will be amazing. I hated sex.. Met the right man in my 30 hope that doesn't put u off but wow he made it amazing and so have some faith and enjoy just life
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    Scumming1995 snap me f 21
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    Where ur frm?
 
 
 
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