I gave her my number. Did I do the right thing? Watch

frozen_fire
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(Original post by believeteam22)
No. I was just curious as to why she didn't. After a few days I thought forget it and I haven't done anything obsessive lol. It's funny you think that.
I was genuinely trying to understand what the best course of action would be as I haven't really been in these situations before..
Well given your previous track record I wouldn't be so sure you've miraculously changed overnight. The best course of action when you are chasing a girl is to take initiative and use common sense rather than overthinking/strategising it.
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believeteam22
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#102
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haha I got it now, thanks

(Original post by scrawlx101)
theres two?
Yeah there's 2. The first one was the one I gave my number to. No response. And haven't been able to talk to her properly since. Then today, there was a new girl. We talked, I felt there was something there. But I didn't ask for her number yet. Didn't want to mess it up. I shall do something tomorrow though.

(Original post by chikane)
For the moment just be friends with the new one dont lead her on or be flirty cause you like the first one more and try talking to her if she isnt interested move on. Try and find an excuse to go to her department.
Yeah that's a fair point. I do like the first one more. But I just feel like she is not interested, but I am not 100% sure which is what bugs me. I don't really know what's happening with her, and I won't until I talk to her. I will definitely try and talk to her somehow asap. As for the new one, I want to get her number so I am able to talk to her, get to know her a little better, then see where it goes.

(Original post by frozen_fire)
How you ask for her number? You don't need to ask for her number. You ask her out face for face. Surely that is the ulterior motive. I mean it doesn't make any sense trying to initiate whatsapp convos when you barely know the girl. Best way to get to know someone is face to face.

Edit: I'm confused now. Which girl are you on about here?
I'm talking about the new girl who I met today. But good point. I was thinking talking on whatsapp and then seeing how things are before asking her out. Haha, the funny thing is, I haven't ever been out with a girl before (I mean not as friends) so I have no idea what I would do lol. Ahh this is new territory for me. But hey, I am making progress right? This is good for me, I am genuinely trying.
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believeteam22
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#103
(Original post by frozen_fire)
Well given your previous track record I wouldn't be so sure you've miraculously changed overnight. The best course of action when you are chasing a girl is to take initiative and use common sense rather than overthinking/strategising it.
Well I have lol. Not overnight, it's been almost a month now where I am doing much better. Look, I haven't even posted about the other girl. We still talk but I have accepted things for what they are and am actively looking around at other girls. I don't even have time to message her lol, and she was clearly upset and surprised by that lol.

Like I said, I am not expert at girls. This is all new for me. I was maybe overthinking it a little because I gave my number and didn't hear from her. Or even a message from her saying hey here's my number too or something. Then when I saw her, she said hi and smiled. And I just wanted to know what was going on, was she just not interested or did she just not have any reason to message me? I just didn't want to say ok forget it, in case I misread the situation, do you understand? Am just looking for some clarification..and I shall get that when I talk to her. But for now, I am not too bothered by it.
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Pimped Butterfly
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Followed your threads for a while. Good luck ol boy. Glad to see you moving on.
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frozen_fire
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(Original post by believeteam22)
Well I have lol. Not overnight, it's been almost a month now where I am doing much better. Look, I haven't even posted about the other girl. We still talk but I have accepted things for what they are and am actively looking around at other girls. I don't even have time to message her lol, and she was clearly upset and surprised by that lol.

Like I said, I am not expert at girls. This is all new for me. I was maybe overthinking it a little because I gave my number and didn't hear from her. Or even a message from her saying hey here's my number too or something. Then when I saw her, she said hi and smiled. And I just wanted to know what was going on, was she just not interested or did she just not have any reason to message me? I just didn't want to say ok forget it, in case I misread the situation, do you understand? Am just looking for some clarification..and I shall get that when I talk to her. But for now, I am not too bothered by it.
Well yes diverting your attention away from the course girl may okay for the moment but it might be a short term fix cos she's still in your life and remains a ticking time bomb. No doubt if you are unsuccessful with these 2 new girls you'll most likely end up getting drawn back to her again. I commend you for making some effort with other girls though.

Like I said before just apply some common sense and don't try to interpret every single little action. Taking your own initiative and making mistakes is a better use of time than asking people on TSR for advice.

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believeteam22
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(Original post by Pimped Butterfly)
Followed your threads for a while. Good luck ol boy. Glad to see you moving on.
Ah thanks glad I am too.
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believeteam22
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(Original post by frozen_fire)
Well yes diverting your attention away from the course girl may okay for the moment but it may be a short term fix cos she's still in your life and remains a ticking time bomb. No doubt if you are unsuccessful with these 2 new girls you'll most likely end up getting drawn back to her again. I commend you for making some effort with other girls though.

Like I said before just apply some common sense and don't try to interpret every single little action. Taking your own initiative and making mistakes is a better use of time than asking people on TSR for advice.

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True, but it's a slow process. It takes time. True, when uni finishes she will move on with her life and so will I. I hope not, because even before I met these 2 girls, for the last 2-3 weeks I have been fine. It's not easy, but sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do.
Yeah, and if things don't work out with these girls, I will just move on very quickly. I am very careful now and won't get attached or anything like that.

And yeah I will, just a little unsure sometimes due to lack of experience. Yeah I am only asking for advice which I actually need now, none of that self pitying stuff which I have been guilty of in the past. Just a bit cautious with the new girl right now, but let's see how it goes.
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frozen_fire
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(Original post by believeteam22)
True, but it's a slow process. It takes time. True, when uni finishes she will move on with her life and so will I. I hope not, because even before I met these 2 girls, for the last 2-3 weeks I have been fine. It's not easy, but sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do.
Yeah, and if things don't work out with these girls, I will just move on very quickly. I am very careful now and won't get attached or anything like that.

And yeah I will, just a little unsure sometimes due to lack of experience. Yeah I am only asking for advice which I actually need now, none of that self pitying stuff which I have been guilty of in the past. Just a bit cautious with the new girl right now, but let's see how it goes.
The good thing irrespective of what happens is that you have shown some interest in other girls which is progress from the oneitis. But yeah stay cautious and keep expectations at level ground for now.

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believeteam22
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Also, there is another girl who's number I got. But she is just a friend. I am not interested in her in any other way. Just expanding my friends circle too. And the funny thing is, I got her number in front of the girl from uni (which was funny lol). Later she asked me, who is that etc.
I definitely feel like I am gaining confidence in myself and expanding my social circle, talking to more people, girls in general.
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believeteam22
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(Original post by frozen_fire)
The good thing irrespective of what happens is that you have shown some interest in other girls which is progress from the oneitis. But yeah stay cautious and keep expectations at level ground for now.

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Yes. Ok. Thanks Will do that.
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Greeny1996
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(Original post by believeteam22)
No. Come on now, give me a break. Honestly I got over it in 2 days. I am not bothered now. Although I do want to talk to her and see what's what. I am thinking of the new girl now lol and how to get her number. I have a feeling the way she looks at me and she might have a thing for me. I could be wrong though..
I'm happy enough to give you a break, which is why the first comment I put was me wishing you luck. But you can't be surprised that I, as well as a lot of other people, am still a little sceptical after the utter trainwreck the other one turned out to be. There's no harm in you talking to this girl, getting friendly with her, and so on, but you just need to know limits, i.e. if you are wrong about how she feels, and she makes that obvious, just back right off, so there aren't any repeats of before.
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Magnus Taylor
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#112
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#112
Get her fb instead
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believeteam22
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(Original post by Greeny1996)
I'm happy enough to give you a break, which is why the first comment I put was me wishing you luck. But you can't be surprised that I, as well as a lot of other people, am still a little sceptical after the utter trainwreck the other one turned out to be. There's no harm in you talking to this girl, getting friendly with her, and so on, but you just need to know limits, i.e. if you are wrong about how she feels, and she makes that obvious, just back right off, so there aren't any repeats of before.
That's fair. And yeah, will do. I am surprised myself how I managed to go out there and talk to other girls. I have nothing to lose. Honestly it does help get my mind of the oneitis. No longer am I staring at my phone waiting for her messages or anything like that. I think the key for me is to not get attached to any girl. Which is why I have been talking to multiple girls now which really helps and just increases my confidence.

Even my friend from uni has noticed that I have been talking to more girls, and that I hardly find time for her now lol. All is well. I hope something good comes out with one of these girls. If not, no big deal. There are other girls I am interested in who are also at work.

For some reason, I find it easier at work than uni to talk to girls.
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believeteam22
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(Original post by Magnus Taylor)
Get her fb instead
I did find the 1st girl's fb (just out of curiosity) but don't want to add her or anything right now as I don't want to seem too pushy or anything. I will have to talk to her first then see what's what.

As for the 2nd girl, I didn't search for her on facebook. No need to. I will see her tomorrow I think, and I definitely want to get her number and take it from there.
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frozen_fire
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(Original post by believeteam22)
I did find the 1st girl's fb (just out of curiosity) but don't want to add her or anything right now as I don't want to seem too pushy or anything. I will have to talk to her first then see what's what.

As for the 2nd girl, I didn't search for her on facebook. No need to. I will see her tomorrow I think, and I definitely want to get her number and take it from there.
Get her number and then what? Even supposing you ask for her number and she gives it to you, that's going to sound incredibly random/ambiguous without context.

Here's what you should do instead. Ask straight up if she would like to go out with you somewhere one evening. That way if she says yes, firstly you have a potential dating opportunity and secondly you exchange numbers in the process. Plus it's a sure fire way to gage interest cos it's an open ended invite and if she makes an excuse, you know where you stand.

Problem solved.
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believeteam22
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Another good thing that has happened is that my relationship with the girl from the other thread has improved a lot. She is very happy with how things are between us. She messaged me randomly and said to me, I am very happy with us, everything is perfect, we don't argue anymore, you don't "insist" anymore, etc etc. I kind of felt happy hearing that. I am glad things are ok. I am sure it's because I am not expecting too much from her, I message her less, I only talk then there is something to say and not just for the sake of talk. The fact that I have started talking to other girls has also helped me a lot.

I am really glad things are ok with her.
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believeteam22
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(Original post by frozen_fire)
Get her number and then what? Even supposing you ask for her number and she gives it to you, that's going to sound incredibly random/ambiguous without context.

Here's what you should do instead. Ask straight up if she would like to go out with you somewhere one evening. That way if she says yes, firstly you have a potential dating opportunity and secondly you exchange numbers in the process. Plus it's a sure fire way to gage interest cos it's an open ended invite and if she makes an excuse, you know where you stand.

Problem solved.
Yeah ok..good point. That's a very good point actually. If I just asked her for her number, I would message her or call her, try to get to know her, etc. Maybe that's no the right way. Instead, asking her to go out could be better. If she says yes, great, I will take it from there.
If she says no, then what?
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SophieSmall
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Glad to hear you're moving on man, just don't get obsessive about this one. Or any of your actions or approach methods.

Good luck.
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believeteam22
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(Original post by SophieSmall)
Glad to hear you're moving on man, just don't get obsessive about this one. Or any of your actions or approach methods.

Good luck.
Ahh thanks. Glad to hear from you. And yeah, definitely won't.
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davgen7
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Don't normally comment here but this was just asking for a reply.

First things first, you definitely seem like the quintessential beta male, so stop that **** cus I guarantee you wont be pulling jack **** unless you give off a vibe of confidence and semi-arrogance at all times. Don't text the first one again, be more of a ******** and lead this **** to where you want it to go because if you dont you will be friendzoned rapid time. Its impossible to friendzone someone who has made it completely clear that they intend to **** at some point, and if thats not what youre thinking, you are being too beta again.

Buy fresh kicks and nice clothes, start going to the gym and get a fresh trim. maybe even a piercing if you want, just get yourself to be seen as attractive, and act as such. wink at them or whatever.

give up on the first one, she isnt longing for your **** and stop bull****ting yourself into believing she might change her mind because from the sounds of things she clocked on to how desperate you are (because you are) and concluded she is too good for you. however, adjust accordingly to how i described earlier and you could defo work your way into a ****ing position with any girl who you dont already know, because realistically you need a fresh start to leave an attractive first impression. could try it on this second girl you speak of. fix up; when people tell you to "be yourself", dont, because it sounds like every time you are "yourself" you **** up massively. be calm confident, cool and attractive in a semi badboy way.

sorry but this is the truth. you dont have to flop

best of luck my g
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