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Hijabi and finding it hard to find someone. Suggestions? Watch

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    Sister, do not remove your hijab. A real person is he who will look beyond your hijab. Only then will you find the one. If not now, then remain patient. Verily, Allah knows what you know not.
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    (Original post by Propi)
    Aw my fee fee's. Why won't the anonymous guy on the internet shower me with approval, it hurts muh insecurities *sniff*

    Move man, you've played your cards and lost.
    Your entire existence is one of insecurity, whether you want to admit that to others, or yourself.

    So if anyone has "lost", it's you honey bunny.
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    (Original post by inhuman)
    Your entire existence is one of insecurity, whether you want to admit that to others, or yourself.

    So if anyone has "lost", it's you honey bunny.
    Stop seeking my attention inhuman, go play outside of my inbox. I told you you bore me, take the rejection like a man and move on,
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    Would you consider yourself to be hot out of hijab?
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    (Original post by cbatothinkofone)
    I agree with your point that all ideologies, including religion, are subject to criticism, however it is your matter of fact manner that you are right and they are wrong (with regards to oppression), and your inability to even consider alternative points of view that I had a problem with. I don't see why she has to adapt. Yes, maybe it would be easier for her to find someone if she were not to wear the Hijab, but is that someone that she really wants to be with? My entire argument has been based around the fact that it's an individual choice and people should respect that. If that's misguided then so be it.
    So why was I and others attacked and ridiculed for suggesting just that.

    OP did not specifically ask "where can I find a Muslim bf" she talked about about finding "someone". If anything, it is your narrow mindedness that assumed she meant that person has to be Muslim.

    And the last part is my problem with your argument, and the argument the so-called liberals, the tolerant, the PC brigade have. Why should an individual's choice in this case be respected? Why is everything well it's their choice let them be? We already have so many laws and restrictions placed upon us, why is this special?

    And finally I will bring back the 1984 example again - it is completely relevant to this case because for them it was a choice, too. Everything they did they did because they wanted to. But would you really call them free?
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    (Original post by Propi)
    Stop seeking my attention inhuman, go play outside of my inbox. I told you you bore me, take the rejection like a man and move on,
    But I was going to invite you out for brunch on Saturday, nice fry up and lager to go with.
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    (Original post by ANM775)
    Suggestions?

    Yes.

    Take off the damn hijab

    Keep your irrelevant suggestion to yourself.
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    (Original post by inhuman)
    So why was I and others attacked and ridiculed for suggesting just that.

    OP did not specifically ask "where can I find a Muslim bf" she talked about about finding "someone". If anything, it is your narrow mindedness that assumed she meant that person has to be Muslim.

    And the last part is my problem with your argument, and the argument the so-called liberals, the tolerant, the PC brigade have. Why should an individual's choice in this case be respected? Why is everything well it's their choice let them be? We already have so many laws and restrictions placed upon us, why is this special?

    And finally I will bring back the 1984 example again - it is completely relevant to this case because for them it was a choice, too. Everything they did they did because they wanted to. But would you really call them free?
    Actually, I was arguing against it being oppressive, but you clearly missed that bit and took what you wanted from my original post.

    Quote me where I said that she was seeking a muslim boyfriend? My point is that she would want someone who accepts her for who she is, and for whom she wouldn't have to change something about her, in the same way that I wouldn't want to be with someone who tells me to cut my hair or take out my nose ring to be worthy of them.
    Because it doesn't hurt anyone? It makes absolutely no difference to your life if she decides to where a Hijab. We have laws and regulations to protect others. I haven't read 1984, so couldn't comment.
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    (Original post by cbatothinkofone)
    Actually, I was arguing against it being oppressive, but you clearly missed that bit and took what you wanted from my original post.

    Quote me where I said that she was seeking a muslim boyfriend? My point is that she would want someone who accepts her for who she is, and for whom she wouldn't have to change something about her, in the same way that I wouldn't want to be with someone who tells me to cut my hair or take out my nose ring to be worthy of them.
    Because it doesn't hurt anyone? It makes absolutely no difference to your life if she decides to where a Hijab. We have laws and regulations to protect others. I haven't read 1984, so couldn't comment.
    And taking off the hijab prevents that?

    I mean the problem here is she isn't approached. A hijab as the other girl so kindly pointed out is to mitigate and reduce sexual attention. And that just is part of attracting the attention of someone in general.
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    (Original post by inhuman)
    And taking off the hijab prevents that?

    I mean the problem here is she isn't approached. A hijab as the other girl so kindly pointed out is to mitigate and reduce sexual attention. And that just is part of attracting the attention of someone in general.
    Quite possibly, yes. The Hijab, and more widely her religion, is likely to be a large part of who she is, and so someone who can't accept her wearing it is quite possibly not the kind of person she wants to be with. If a guy suddenly starts talking to you after you take your Hijab off, it begs the question why wasn't he in the first place?
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    (Original post by Propi)
    I'm not "expecting" anything, I am offering my opinion, the opinion of someone who grew up in Saudi Arabia, who wears hijab and who had to due social pressure, this social pressure is the equivalent of feeling like you have to wear a top all the time because nudity would incur legal ramifications. It doesn't feel like anything because everyone is doing it, you don't wake up in cold sweats wonderinf why you can't strut like Beyonce down the road.

    You keep talking as if muslim women in the west have zero experience with societal oppression and should be thanking our lucky stars that we know freedom, we know our community better than you do, we have experienced forceful submission and gender discrimination. You are an outsider, why do you think you get to be the mouthpiece for muslim women, but actual muslim women should be discounted because they had a choice? Isn't the very concept of choice something you deny exists for most muslim women?

    You are not trying to help, look at that guys reaction to me discounting his version of my reality. That nobody wants me (lol), when you don't hear muslim women say the things you want them to say you get het up and angry the veil of "concern" is removed. And I don't care how mind blowing it it for someone who lives in a bubble, I don't need you patronising pity. I don't need a white knight.

    Pathetic people think they have a right to comment and coerce women in a private matter such as clothing and have the gull to want to be thanked for it, Orientalism at its bloody best.
    The only choice that I denied was the one women in the East have. Otherwise I wouldn't be writing a post where I explain why certain individuals believe that taking the scarf off could be a good decision. But the point that people aren't clearly making, is that by choosing to wear it, you're also choosing an ideology that limits you in a limitless amount of ways - kind of like having freedom and becoming a slave out of self will. Hence, the question why and in some cases, a bit aggressive innuendo that maybe, via freedom, you should choose to maintain freedom in life as a whole.

    But anyway, the toxic levels of that post are ridiculous and so are your cool life stories. Did they teach you how to understand what you read in Saudi Arabia?

    Apart from the bit I answered, skipping the blabber and all the funny accusations, because I honestly don't know where you got these from, my pumped up bubble of atheist ideas isn't giving you any pity, it's only suggesting a logical, at least in my reality, course of action. So maybe instead of attacking everybody who questions your dogma in a thread where the author claimed it's an issue, answer them with the same kind of understanding that you demand from them.

    You see, pathetic people think that humans don't have the right to question other people's choices, yet question the opinions themselves. Hypocrisy at its bloody best.
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    (Original post by cbatothinkofone)
    Quite possibly, yes. The Hijab, and more widely her religion, is likely to be a large part of who she is, and so someone who can't accept her wearing it is quite possibly not the kind of person she wants to be with. If a guy suddenly starts talking to you after you take your Hijab off, it begs the question why wasn't he in the first place?

    Erm...

    Because the primary aim of the hijab is to desexualise women and make random men not have desires towards them
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    Flash them guys a bit of hair :sexface:
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    (Original post by frostyy)
    The only choice that I denied was the one women in the East have. Otherwise I wouldn't be writing a post where I explain why certain individuals believe that taking the scarf off could be a good decision. But the point that people aren't clearly making, is that by choosing to wear it, you're also choosing an ideology that limits you in a limitless amount of ways - kind of like having freedom and becoming a slave out of self will. Hence, the question why?

    But anyway, the toxic levels of that post are ridiculous and so are your cool life stories. Did they teach you how to read and understand what you read in Saudi Arabia?

    Apart from the bit I answered, skipping the blabber and all the funny accusations, because I honestly don't know where you got these from, my pumped up bubble of atheist ideas isn't giving you any pity, it's only suggesting a logical, at least in my reality, course of action. So maybe instead of attacking everybody who questions your dogma in a thread where the author claimed it's an issue, answer them with the same kind of understanding that you demand from them.

    You see, pathetic people think that humans don't have the right to question other people's choices, yet question the opinions themselves. Hypocrisy at its bloody best.
    The choice is not yours to deny. And I have no "cool life stories", I grew up in Saudi Arabia, that is the east, the experience you seem to think you know more about except you don't.

    Being an athiest does not mean you have an automatic soloution to life, it doesn't mean you are more attuned to logik (tm). It means you don't believe in god. And that is all, that is all it says about you.

    You can question and disagree with everything I do and say, but your are not in a position to deny my and other women's reality, wearing hijab for most muslim women is the same as wearing a shirt for most non-muslim women, it's social convention we wear it because we do. You want it to symbolise something it doesn't, but you don't know what you're talking about, it is not some massive fight for liberty it'a a garment.

    And its our garment, our social phenomena, you can't waltz in with your cultural baggage and decide it means what you and your culture want it to mean, you don't get to say what women in the east think about it, you don't get to discount what muslim women think of it because we are not in the east. Hijab is also a symbol of piety for us, in our societies piety is held in high esteem. We all wear it for different reasons but none of them are "slavery" to husband/male relations.

    Yeah you can question, but you need to know that your opinion and perception does not, and never will trump actual experience and inside perspective. And your whole comment was written to undermine mine but you don't see it because you think by being white, male and atheist you have the default right perspective. That is orientalism.
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    (Original post by ANM775)
    Erm...

    Because the primary aim of the hijab is to desexualise women and make random men not have desires towards them
    Theres a difference between sexual and emotional attraction, and you would think that seeing as OP isn't just looking for a hook-up, they require the latter.
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    (Original post by Propi)
    You can question and disagree with everything I do and say, but your are not in a position to deny my and other women's reality, wearing hijab for most muslim women is the same as wearing a shirt for most non-muslim women, it's social convention we wear it because we do. You want it to symbolise something it doesn't, but you don't know what you're talking about, it is not some massive fight for liberty it'a a garment.
    Because after more than a thousand years this has been ingrained in our culture. And it has done that because its roots are deeply misogynistic.

    But hey, you are little Miss Muslim, of course you are right and we are wrong.

    And its our garment, our social phenomena, you can't waltz in with your cultural baggage and decide it means what you and your culture want it to mean, you don't get to say what women in the east think about it, you don't get to discount what muslim women think of it because we are not in the east. Hijab is also a symbol of piety for us, in our societies piety is held in high esteem. We all wear it for different reasons but none of them are "slavery" to husband/male relations.
    You are quite right, we are not in the Middle East (no idea why you keep saying East). We are in the modern world and as such we have a right to decide whether something is socially acceptable or not.

    Yeah you can question, but you need to know that your opinion and perception does not, and never will trump actual experience and inside perspective. And your whole comment was written to undermine mine but you don't see it because you think by being white, male and atheist you have the default right perspective. That is orientalism.
    It's like being in a sect. If you are on the inside of course you glorify. But there are plenty of women who have managed to escape and they paint a very different picture.
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    (Original post by cbatothinkofone)
    Theres a difference between sexual and emotional attraction, and you would think that seeing as OP isn't just looking for a hook-up, they require the latter.
    Right, because that is how the majority of guys work.

    I urge you to at least read a summary of 1984. I mean this isn't just about the Hijab. Religion in and of itself is mostly passed on through parents. Even that nutcase Nahir Zaik or whatever his name is says so. If the way you are raised is a certain way, then you don't stand a chance, or at least only a very difficult.
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    (Original post by inhuman)
    Because after more than a thousand years this has been ingrained in our culture. And it has done that because its roots are deeply misogynistic.

    But hey, you are little Miss Muslim, of course you are right and we are wrong.
    Or maybe you've ascribed roots to it that don't exist. Wearing a hijab 1400 years ago was a sign of a free woman, slaves were nit allowed to wear a hijab, the implication being slaves did nit have the "right" to curtail sexual attention.

    The hijab, the abaya all of it served to exhibit sartorial distinction and social class, women wore it with pride not because it was tied to the perception of men or because it was tied inherently to modesty (slaves didn't wear hijab and were often modest) but it denoted class, piety and social hierarchy. In your society perhaps a womans clothes are closely linked to what men like to see and what they don't like to see, but in ours it served multiple purposes so yeah, Missy Muslim knows better than you do why she wears a hijab, shock horror.
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    (Original post by Propi)
    Or maybe you've ascribed roots to it that don't exist. Wearing a hijab 1400 years ago was a sign of a free woman, slaves were nit allowed to wear a hijab, the implication being slaves did nit have the "right" to curtail sexual attention.

    The hijab, the abaya all of it served to exhibit sartorial distinction and social class, women wore it with pride not because it was tied to the perception of men or because it was tied inherently to modesty (slaves didn't wear hijab and were often modest) but it denoted class, piety and social hierarchy. In your society perhaps a womans clothes are closely linked to what men like to see and what they don't like to see, but in ours it served multiple purposes so yeah, Missy Muslim knows better than you do why she wears a hijab, shock horror.
    Thanks.

    Go back to Saudi Arabia then.
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    (Original post by inhuman)
    Thanks.

    Go back to Saudi Arabia then.
    When I graduate enshallah. Dat nice tax free dough
 
 
 
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