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    (Original post by Listers)
    I was only in for 7.

    Premature and proud.

    #Represent

    Ahh thats cool
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    (Original post by Ayaz789)
    How were you born a month early:O so were you only in for 8 months :L thats amazing & ahh yeah same
    Yep, only in for 8 months.
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    (Original post by Blackstarr)
    Yep, only in for 8 months.
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    (Original post by Listers)
    Yes, but does that mean they were always like that, and can't change?

    NO
    Someone's childhood experiences from their parents have a massive, and I mean MASSIVE influence on how their child acts. If their parents are abusive to them when they were young, it would be incredibly difficult for the child to just all of a sudden start loving their parents.
    Think about it, when it comes to people who do the most disgusting crimes, if you look back on their childhood's experiences it is always, mostly because they had the most f*cked up childhoods which was usually perpetuated by their parents.

    It's not a "but they might change" situation, trust me. It's a lot easier than said than done.
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    Im interested to find out..

    Is anyone else estranged from family, mum, dad?
    I haven't spoke to either of my parents in about 2 years (im 22)
    It's very upsetting sometimes to know that I don't have that relationship with either parent but when you had a really abusive childhood and your parent's are terrible people you have to detach yourself from the situation. I know this is a little off topic but when people know im estranged they find it really odd.
    I'd find it more off to keep talking and associating myself with people that purposely hurt you, parent/family or not.
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    (Original post by scoutingfinches)
    As someone who loves and would do anything for their parents, some of you are being ridiculous. If a someone has a child they are not entitled to their child's love until they treat them with love and compassion - children don't ask to be born and aren't brought into this world with the sole purpose of loving their parents. Spouting the narrative that you should love your parents unconditionally, even if they're abusive and horrible people, is dangerous and silences child abuse victims. Abusive and bad parents do not deserve unconditional love and that's a fact - whether their child decides to forgive them and show them love is another matter. Try to have a bit of empathy and realise that everyone has different experiences to you which shapes how they feel about their parents, and that your values aren't and shouldn't be universal to everyone.
    Completely agree. I can't believe how ignorant some people are on this thread, saying that its 'disrespectful' to not love your mother unconditionally etc, just because she gave birth to you. I think that's ridiculous to assume that somebody deserves your love no matter how they treat you.

    I hate how people try to tell me "she's your mother, you have to love her". No, I don't because you don't know what things are like behind the scenes, you can't just assume that everybody has a happy, loving family like you.

    I don't love my mother because she's a horrible person who has done horrible things, and I don't see how sharing DNA gives her some magical entitlement to being loved by me regardless of how she acts. The closest thing I have to a 'family' are my closest friends who really love me, not my biological family who have done nothing but bring misery to my life.
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    (Original post by auroraborealice)
    Completely agree. I can't believe how ignorant some people are on this thread, saying that its 'disrespectful' to not love your mother unconditionally etc, just because she gave birth to you. I think that's ridiculous to assume that somebody deserves your love no matter how they treat you.

    I hate how people try to tell me "she's your mother, you have to love her". No, I don't because you don't know what things are like behind the scenes, you can't just assume that everybody has a happy, loving family like you.

    I don't love my mother because she's a horrible person who has done horrible things, and I don't see how sharing DNA gives her some magical entitlement to being loved by me regardless of how she acts. The closest thing I have to a 'family' are my closest friends who really love me, not my biological family who have done nothing but bring misery to my life.
    It sounds like you are in a similar situation to me.
    We should not forgive the hurtful and painful things that people do to us because they are 'family' its ridiculous. Im glad you find love with your friends, they say you can choose your friends but not your family.. how true is that
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    (Original post by SMT22x)
    Im interested to find out..Is anyone else estranged from family, mum, dad?I haven't spoke to either of my parents in about 2 years (im 22)It's very upsetting sometimes to know that I don't have that relationship with either parent but when you had a really abusive childhood and your parent's are terrible people you have to detach yourself from the situation. I know this is a little off topic but when people know im estranged they find it really odd.I'd find it more off to keep talking and associating myself with people that purposely hurt you, parent/family or not.
    Once I leave for university (hopefully!) in September, I don't want to stay in touch apart from when its absolutely necessary, and I definitely don't plan on coming back to see them. Eventually I don't expect to be in contact all, I won't tell them if I get married and things like that. I think you are so right, things are much better when toxic people are removed from your life, it gives you so much more control and freedom

    (Original post by SMT22x)
    It sounds like you are in a similar situation to me.
    We should not forgive the hurtful and painful things that people do to us because they are 'family' its ridiculous. Im glad you find love with your friends, they say you can choose your friends but not your family.. how true is that
    This is exactly how I feel and it's so frustrating when people don't understand! Yes that is so true, I think true family is chosen by you and it means so much more because they've earned that love, it isn't just expected to be there automatically like in biological families.
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    (Original post by Listers)
    Yeah I know some mothers are terrible, but they can still be changed into who they were, like in the case of the post the user made about her mother being terrible at first then turning out right.

    Everyone deserves a chance, regardless of what has been done in the past.
    This is a really naive post. Do parents who rape their children deserve a second chance?
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    I don't, but that's because she's been pretty 'awful' to me (I'm saying it in a nice way, I'm trying to act like a spoiled brat or anything she genuinely hasn't been great) so yeah lol.
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    #5

    I feel the same. She made my life a living hell and I will never forgive her for it. I do appreciate the things she's done for me but honestly, she isn't a nice person. She's manipulative and selfish and I hope if I have children I'll never be like her.
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    (Original post by StrangeBanana)
    This is a really naive post. Do parents who rape their children deserve a second chance?



    Well maybe it's just my Christianity coming into practise but God says forgiveness is a key to being a good person and a good Christian so yes, anyone can be given a second chance, even people who murder and rape others.
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    (Original post by Listers)
    Well maybe it's just my Christianity coming into practise but God says forgiveness is a key to being a good person and a good Christian so yes, anyone can be given a second chance, even people who murder and rape others.
    Wow. I think you need a bit of time to reflect.

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    (Original post by Trapz99)
    Appreciate how lucky you are to have a mother. Not everyone does. How you can dislike someone who has devoted her life to bringing you up and caring for you is unbelievable.
    You're assuming that she's devoted her life to bringing her up. You don't know the mum personally do you?

    (Original post by Eva.Gregoria)
    Why must I love her to be able to respect her?
    I can relate to you tbh.
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    (Original post by Listers)
    Well maybe it's just my Christianity coming into practise but God says forgiveness is a key to being a good person and a good Christian so yes, anyone can be given a second chance, even people who murder and rape others.
    But a parent raping their own child deserves no forgiveness, they took advantage of someone they created and abused all they have, what kind of parent does that?
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    (Original post by Listers)
    Well maybe it's just my Christianity coming into practise but God says forgiveness is a key to being a good person and a good Christian so yes, anyone can be given a second chance, even people who murder and rape others.
    I have no problem with that. And if we all meet Jesus up above when we die like the good book says then we can get started on forgiving everyone that's done us wrong.

    But, until that, or something else, happens to give me irrefutable evidence that the Christian God actually exists, I see no reason to put myself through unreasonable emotional strain.
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    (Original post by Rhythmical)
    But a parent raping their own child deserves no forgiveness, they took advantage of someone they created and abused all they have, what kind of parent does that?
    Well no one is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes down the line.

    Some bigger than the other. I know it sounds difficult but it's the proper thing to do. Yes the parent was in the wrong, but what do you gain from storing hate in your heart because of things that happened in the past to you.

    God says forgive, forget and move on.
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    (Original post by Listers)
    Well no one is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes down the line.

    Some bigger than the other. I know it sounds difficult but it's the proper thing to do. Yes the parent was in the wrong, but what do you gain from storing hate in your heart because of things that happened in the past to you.

    God says forgive, forget and move on.
    Maybe yeah but ultimately it is down to the child, they could be traumatised for life due to their parents actions. Do you still forgive and forget if the parent is sent to jail, comes back after serving time and rapes their child again, knowing what they did is extremely horrific and unacceptable?
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    (Original post by Listers)
    Well no one is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes down the line.

    Some bigger than the other. I know it sounds difficult but it's the proper thing to do. Yes the parent was in the wrong, but what do you gain from storing hate in your heart because of things that happened in the past to you.

    God says forgive, forget and move on.
    lol how ridiculous. You seem completely ignorant of the emotional/mental impacts of such abuse.
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    Plus your god is utterly depraved if he allows a child to be abused and then expects them to just 'forgive and forget' their abuse.
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    (Original post by Eva.Gregoria)
    Why must I love her to be able to respect her?
    (Original post by MrsSheldonCooper)
    I can relate to you tbh.
    Same here Let me point out to all the people overreacting and saying that its disrespectful, that not loving your mother and hating her are not the same thing. I may not love my mother but I still respect her somewhat and I'm still grateful that I did have a family to take care of me, feed me, take me to school because I know that some people aren't as lucky. But it takes a lot more than that to deserve love
 
 
 
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