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    (Original post by kirigiri)
    if on the off chance this isnt bait:

    wow, that was terrible of you! you could not have handled that much worse. she literally told you that she felt like killing herself and you thought that it was an appropriate time to call her a freak and dump her? jesus. she deserves better than you.

    as to the idea of "i had the right to know/she should have told me": why??? literally what difference does it make. it doesnt matter if someone is not the same gender now as they were born as. they are the gender they identify with now. the past is irrelevent. the only time you would even remotely need to know is if youre having sex (if they havent transitioned) or if youre trying to conceive (if they have).
    thinking negatively of her because shes trans is undeniably transphobic.

    seriously, youre a ****, op.
    Trans woman =/= real woman.

    Nothing wrong with OP wanting a real woman.
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    (Original post by Katiee224)
    We are all female before we are born, does it matter what gender we used to be?
    Okay, It doesn't matter what gender you are in the 21st century BUT, the problem is that in Mike_91's case is that his relationship with his girlfriend wouldn't be able to progress any further than what it already is. After all (sorry if I put this too bluntly) his girlfriend will never conceive a child and so there would be no point if Mike_91 wants to sire children.

    I also understand that it must be hard for Mike_91's girlfriend as it is obviously not a subject she wanted to let you in one. But at the end of the day it was Mike_91's call to end the relationship as it obviously made him uncomfortable.

    And one last thing, we are NOT all female before we are born. Why? your mother and father both have 23 chromosomes in their gametes. These fuse during sexual reproduction to create an embryo. In the 23rd chromosome of the male, it is decided whether it is to be an xx or and xY chromosome. This is already decided when the embryo is formed so we are not all born females.
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    (Original post by kirigiri)
    shes a she. if you cant bloody say that shes a she, then you clearly arent respectful of transgender people. misgendering people is transphobic. also, "a transgender"? classy. also rude.
    WHY DO YOU THINK SHE HAS AN OBLIGATION TO TELL HIM. someones biological sex does NOT MATTER unless youre having sex (and haven't transitioned) or are trying to have children (and have).
    someones biological sex should not affect someones feelings for said person.

    as for the other thing that isnt quoted due to your poor formatting:
    literally what are you even on about???
    sex and gender are two different things but gender is what matters - unless youre having sex, sex is irrelevant.
    no, your sex does not change as soon as you identify as a different gender. im not stupid. however, you can obviously transition to another sex.
    she may be biologically male, but shes still female. when you talk about people you refer to their gender, not their sex. to go around saying a transwoman is a man is transphobic (if you were referring to her sex youre best off saying assigned male at birth - however, as said before, this does not need to be disclosed under most circumstances).
    The OP has every right to feel cheated. Stop with this liberal BS of "Oh but he was fine up to the point it was revealed that they were not a real woman so he should just deal with it", thats a load of crap you're peddling. I couldn't expect less from an overly liberal shmuck tbh. If the OP wants to go out with a girl, he goes out with a real girl, not an impostor. OP handled the breakup bad but come on. And you ignore the deception they are promoting. He was with this person for years and they were lying the whole time. Either be honest or get the hell out because it is the OPs business.
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    (Original post by kirigiri)
    if on the off chance this isnt bait:

    wow, that was terrible of you! you could not have handled that much worse. she literally told you that she felt like killing herself and you thought that it was an appropriate time to call her a freak and dump her? jesus. she deserves better than you.

    as to the idea of "i had the right to know/she should have told me": why??? literally what difference does it make. it doesnt matter if someone is not the same gender now as they were born as. they are the gender they identify with now. the past is irrelevent. the only time you would even remotely need to know is if youre having sex (if they havent transitioned) or if youre trying to conceive (if they have).
    thinking negatively of her because shes trans is undeniably transphobic.

    seriously, youre a ****, op.
    Lol please tell me you're joking. Please
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    So apparently having it revealed to you that the person you are dating is not the sex they day they are, resulting in the OP dumping said person over it qualifies as transphobic. 21st Century problems at their finest here. There is nothing wrong in the OPs mindset(apart from how he ended it). I'd happily befriend a transgender because that doesn't bother. Try date me and only reveal that later....jog on, deception is the root of many evils and I could never trust in them again. Also technically and this is grasping a bit at straws(the whole gender thing has me lost now), would the OP technically be considered homosexual if he continued dating said person. I'm truly lost with all of this now. Transgenders just confuse me compared to LGB. With those three, you get something clear and blatantly observable, you know what you're getting and I am 100% ok with all of them. Transgenders are an area I need more thought on because their attempt at destroying gender barriers to scew reality(and confuse many in the process) is proving quite mad
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    (Original post by aurasio534)
    okay 1) i assume this is fake but
    2) if it isnt youre an *******. someone having been designated male at birth means nothing if theyre female now. It has no relevance to the relationship. The person hasnt changed at all what has happened is they have told you something close to their heart and that it hard to say and youve **** on them for it because youre transphobic and you cant deal to date someone whos trans
    Wow you're delusional. 99% of men would not want to date someone who used to be a man- it's just weird and puts people off. If its transphobic to only want to date a real natural woman with a real vagina then, fine, I'm transphobic. And so are the vast majority of men.
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    (Original post by marco14196)
    The OP has every right to feel cheated. Stop with this liberal BS of "Oh but he was fine up to the point it was revealed that they were not a real woman so he should just deal with it", thats a load of crap you're peddling. I couldn't expect less from an overly liberal shmuck tbh. If the OP wants to go out with a girl, he goes out with a real girl, not an impostor. OP handled the breakup bad but come on. And you ignore the deception they are promoting. He was with this person for years and they were lying the whole time. Either be honest or get the hell out because it is the OPs business.
    I can't believe how many people on here actually believe that liberal nonsense. This is madness and I doubt that most guys would ever want to date someone who is not a natural woman. There is nothing wrong with that, righty? Or maybe you and I are just transphobic...
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    (Original post by Trapz99)
    I can't believe how many people on here actually believe that liberal nonsense. This is madness and I doubt that most guys would ever want to date someone who is not a natural woman. There is nothing wrong with that, righty? Or maybe you and I are just transphobic...
    No, completely normal. He's just triggered.
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    (Original post by Mike_91)
    Alright so me and my girlfriend has been together now for over two years but only recently had I discovered she used to be a man.

    I was in the bar with her brother and we were getting drunk and when he is drunk he has a tendency to tell the truth, which is exactly what he did. He asked me 'are you gay' and when I replied 'no', he then said 'then why are you dating a former guy'. I thought this was a joke until he went into further detail and I left and confronted my girlfriend, who at first lied until her brother came around and forced her to admit it before leaving. My girlfriend explained that she was unhappy and thought about killing herself, which was when she began to cry. I called her a 'freak' before adding our relationship was over and left her house.

    Its now been two weeks and though our relationship is truly broken and it makes me feel sick to think of her as a man, I still care.
    Not sure what's more funny... the story or the idiots here who believe it- or perhaps everyone knows this is a troll and is just playing along for jokes and I'm the idiot?
    You realise even when a man has trangender surgery to become a "woman"- they still have a **** and no vagina? They're given hormones so that they can produce breasts, and stuff so that very little testosterone is produced and more oestrogen- and obviously the facial cosmetic surgery-watch some porn or something if have no clue or google it... (I'm aware this kind of porn exists- I don't watch it, before some comedian tries to make a joke)
    you can't date someone for two years and have no sexual relationship, so how in the **** could you be unaware this was a transgender person?- If indeed you can have no sexual relations for two years then clearly the physical aspect of the relationship doesn't matter to you- so why would it disgust you or would you even care at all if you loved this person emotionally?


    (Original post by Another)
    Well, I say you handled that well. Only improvement I would add is that you should have posted his secret to his FB wall too.
    Even if this bizarre bulshit of a story was true- shame on you and on everyone who liked this post- I would be able to understand the reaction- heck I would freak too and might say that too (though regret it later for sure)- but the extra FB wall thing- why? Is the incident in the bar not humiliation enough for a human being- You want to attempt to ruin their life too in that way- and not let them tell everyone when they're ready? ( given it would be bound to spread to everyone in social circle eventually). Assuming not homophobic, people don't seem to have too much of a problem with a gay person staying in the closet and would respect that- this is exactly the same thing- not condoning the deceit though.
    (Assuming said bulshit by OP were true)


    (Original post by Lord of the Flies)
    It doesn't matter whether this is a true story or not, what is important is the widespread, hidden transphobia people are exemplifying throughout this thread.

    "She should've told him" - when? On their first date? Two weeks in? Please. OP dated this person for who she is. She's the exact same person now as she was last week, back when OP supposedly liked her. Nothing's changed. The only reason you would leave someone over something like this is embarrassment, and anger at yourself, for dating someone who is trans - and that my friend, is transphobia. This is similar to men who get angry when/if they find out that their (female) partner has had a multitude of sexual partners in the past. It's laughable - get over yourself, you're not that special.

    This shyte about "trust" is an easy mask to put on to avoid making all that obvious. Oh yeah trust is the foundation to all relationships look at me I'm a 24 year old virgin on TSR and I'm wise as f*** when it comes to this. Stfu this has nothing to do with trust, or lies. She was not doing anything over the course of their relationship that she was hiding from the OP. Alala, you people are sad.
    They do not look the same as a natural woman down below as I have said- even though facially and upper body wise they might look close to a natural woman (some very much so that it could be convincing). You must agree this now changes your view about the underlined... I think the biggest misunderstanding on this whole thread was this fact... otherwise everybody would be laughing- I don't think even the OP knew this o/w he would know it was not a great troll- or maybe he did and was testing how much people knew about this?- lol how it feasible to totally reconstruct any animal's sexual reproductive organs and surgically replace it with that of the opposite sex . LOTF perhaps you should just stick to maths?
    I do agree however the reactions of people have shocked and disgusted me.

    Edit: I am straight myself and I like real natural women and would never ever date a transgender- I agree with everyone it is not some kind of discrimination to be put off by them sexually- most people have voiced my similar views on this so I won't repeat myself- (definitely would make men feel gay- in fact is gay IMO because down below still a man- even produce ejaculate)- oh and also can't have kids with them- that is defo a big one.
    Actually wait- everyone said this based on wrong assumptions- if it was possible to totally reconstruct and after surgery they were exactly the same as a natural woman with the same natural hormones being produced- no use of drugs - fully functioning sexual organs of a woman and you could have babies with them- then hell yeah of course I would have a relationship with a transgender woman (note no quotation marks around woman anymore)
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    (Original post by kirigiri)
    shes a she. if you cant bloody say that shes a she, then you clearly arent respectful of transgender people. misgendering people is transphobic. also, "a transgender"? classy. also rude.
    WHY DO YOU THINK SHE HAS AN OBLIGATION TO TELL HIM. someones biological sex does NOT MATTER unless youre having sex (and haven't transitioned) or are trying to have children (and have).
    someones biological sex should not affect someones feelings for said person.

    I can respect transgenders as humans beings as they are but if someone told me that they were a guy despite having the exact body type as me, I'm going to call them their biological sex. I don't think you understand what respect actually is. According to you, respect means agree what everything I say and believe everything I say, and that is not how respect works. Maybe it does to you but I'm not going to label someone disrespectful because of a different opinion. Of course someone biological sex matters.

    OP is a straight male. Would you tell a homosexual male that gender doesn't matter if he just learned his b/f is actually a girl and doesn't have a real penis? Some people are not bothered by dating the same sex with GID but does that mean all people should not be bothered? Its a preference. Gender/sex does play a role in attraction since his g/f or b/f's appearance looked like a female. OP was attracted to his g/f or b/f exterior. It matters because OP was completely unaware. You're allowed to be offended by "transphobic" remarks or "misgendering" but OP should not be hurt that his g/f or b/f has been lying for two years?

    as for the other thing that isnt quoted due to your poor formatting:
    literally what are you even on about???
    sex and gender are two different things but gender is what matters - unless youre having sex, sex is irrelevant.
    no, your sex does not change as soon as you identify as a different gender. im not stupid. however, you can obviously transition to another sex.
    she may be biologically male, but shes still female. when you talk about people you refer to their gender, not their sex. to go around saying a transwoman is a man is transphobic (if you were referring to her sex youre best off saying assigned male at birth - however, as said before, this does not need to be disclosed under most circumstances).
    If I wanted to reply to your original comment I had to sacrifice formatting, sorry.
    I'm just pointing out that you used sex instead of gender. I was told gender and sex are two completely different things yet you chose biological sex to describe him which is inaccurate to describe a male, a female. Well, that's a paradoxical don't you think? So she's is a female yet a male? You do realize there are only two sexes, and you can
    only be one, right? Which is he/she then? Is she/he a male and a female?
    You tell me. A transwoman is a man biologically speaking. So, yes. Oh, its not transphobic as you put it. It just biologically and It is pretty accurate. It may harm your feelings but its true. No human being is assigned a sex at birth. Its your chromosomes that determine your sex. Its like saying your eye color was assigned at birth. Its genetics, not the doctor who decided he or she was bored and just going to "assign" you whatever. Was your hair color "assigned" at birth? Was your head shape "assigned" at birth? No. Its the genes you inherited from your parents.
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    ROFL GG
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    This is a ****in epic bit of trolling OP.

    Tell me, does he/she have a deep voice and an Adam's Apple?
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    (Original post by Arcane1729)
    Even if this bizarre bulshit of a story was true- shame on you and on everyone who liked this post- I would be able to understand the reaction- heck I would freak too and might say that too (though regret it later for sure)- but the extra FB wall thing- why? Is the incident in the bar not humiliation enough for a human being- You want to attempt to ruin their life too in that way- and not let them tell everyone when they're ready? ( given it would be bound to spread to everyone in social circle eventually). Assuming not homophobic, people don't seem to have too much of a problem with a gay person staying in the closet and would respect that- this is exactly the same thing- not condoning the deceit though.
    (Assuming said bulshit by OP were true)

    Edit: I am straight myself and I like real natural women and would never ever date a transgender- I agree with everyone it is not some kind of discrimination to be put off by them- most people have voiced my similar views on this so I won't repeat myself
    I wrote a sarcastic post under the assumption the OP was 100% troll. Didn't expect the rest of TSR to be so truly disgusted by trans people!
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    (Original post by JLegion)
    It's not transphobic at all. It's like saying a heterosexual is a homophobe because they don't want to date a member of the same sex, or a homosexual is a heterophobe for refusing to date heterosexuals.
    no, its not a preference. transwomen are women. thats it. if you wont date a transwoman because she is trans, thats transphobic. not all transwomen even have penises.

    (Original post by TaintedLight)
    @bold....What if they identify with something else tomorrow?
    then you respect that?

    (Original post by IronicalMan)
    PHOBIA PHOBIA PHOVIA, pretty sure he ain't scared of em mate, just thinks they're weird like every other rational MALE.
    oh dont be a dumb twit. thats not the meaning of phobia in this context and if you had two bloody brain cells youd know it. consider it to be the same type as in homophobia (and if youre going to argue thats a fear too, im afraid youre beyond saving)
    and "every other rational male"? ouch. give males more credit than that. most of them are better than you.

    (Original post by marco14196)
    The OP has every right to feel cheated. Stop with this liberal BS of "Oh but he was fine up to the point it was revealed that they were not a real woman so he should just deal with it", thats a load of crap you're peddling. I couldn't expect less from an overly liberal shmuck tbh. If the OP wants to go out with a girl, he goes out with a real girl, not an impostor. OP handled the breakup bad but come on. And you ignore the deception they are promoting. He was with this person for years and they were lying the whole time. Either be honest or get the hell out because it is the OPs business.
    (Original post by Abstract_Prism)
    Trans woman =/= real woman.

    Nothing wrong with OP wanting a real woman.
    transwoman = woman. transwomen are real women.

    (Original post by SmileyVibe)
    If I wanted to reply to your original comment I had to sacrifice formatting, sorry.
    I'm just pointing out that you used sex instead of gender. I was told gender and sex are two completely different things yet you chose biological sex to describe him which is inaccurate to describe a male, a female. Well, that's a paradoxical don't you think? So she's is a female yet a male? You do realize there are only two sexes, and you can
    only be one, right? Which is he/she then? Is she/he a male and a female?
    You tell me. A transwoman is a man biologically speaking. So, yes. Oh, its not transphobic as you put it. It just biologically and It is pretty accurate. It may harm your feelings but its true. No human being is assigned a sex at birth. Its your chromosomes that determine your sex. Its like saying your eye color was assigned at birth. Its genetics, not the doctor who decided he or she was bored and just going to "assign" you whatever. Was your hair color "assigned" at birth? Was your head shape "assigned" at birth? No. Its the genes you inherited from your parents.
    stop trying to be a smartass - she is a woman. end of. to say she is a man, or to call her a he, is absolutely disrespectful and there is no way around that.
    (also - see intersex)
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    (Original post by kirigiri)
    no, its not a preference. transwomen are women. thats it. if you wont date a transwoman because she is trans, thats transphobic. not all transwomen even have penises.


    then you respect that?


    oh dont be a dumb twit. thats not the meaning of phobia in this context and if you had two bloody brain cells youd know it. consider it to be the same type as in homophobia (and if youre going to argue thats a fear too, im afraid youre beyond saving)
    and "every other rational male"? ouch. give males more credit than that. most of them are better than you.


    transwoman = woman. transwomen are real women.


    stop trying to be a smartass - she is a woman. end of. to say she is a man, or to call her a he, is absolutely disrespectful and there is no way around that.
    (also - see intersex)
    Yeah no. A transgender woman is not a real woman, sorry to burst your liberalised bubble. They cant procreate and give birth to life. They think they are something theyre not.
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    I would've just said "let's talk about it tomorrow"" to see if she had a good reason to keep it secret. Although a reaction like that would've been something I saw as a good reason. Sure, I'd be pissed she'd been hiding it from me for that long, but ultimately I'd make it work.

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    (Original post by marco14196)
    Yeah no. A transgender woman is not a real woman, sorry to burst your liberalised bubble. They cant procreate and give birth to life. They think they are something theyre not.
    I'm pretty sure I'm infertile. Does that mean I'm not a real man? No, so shut the **** up before you really shoot yourself in the foot. Oh yeah, too late.

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    (Original post by marco14196)
    Yeah no. A transgender woman is not a real woman, sorry to burst your liberalised bubble. They cant procreate and give birth to life. They think they are something theyre not.
    By your definition, any woman who is infertile or postmenopause is not a woman. :lolwut:
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    (Original post by Andy98)
    I'm pretty sure I'm infertile. Does that mean I'm not a real man? No, so shut the **** up before you really shoot yourself in the foot. Oh yeah, too late.

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    Yawn. You've misunderstood what I meant. They identify as women. That is all. That means quiet literally zilch to me. Zilch.
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    (Original post by AngryJellyfish)
    By your definition, any woman who is infertile or postmenopause is not a woman. :lolwut:
    Reaching beyond the meaning of the statement to try and defend your point by altering the interpretation will not sway the argument. They identify as women which to me means nothing at all. They can be transgender, that doesn't bother me. Trying to peddle to men that they are real women however, going so far as to use deception to keep up their lie by luring in innocent men is immoral
 
 
 
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