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    (Original post by mercuryman)
    Come on now, you can't call somebody else's parents snobs, that's really disrespectful. The parents wanting you to do a good reputable degree will only act in your own good interests when you get a good job out of it.

    I'm not advising that you forcefully do the degree your parents want you to, but don't just end up doing a degree that won't get you anywhere or a decent paying Job after you graduate, times are getting rough.
    It wasn't meant in a malicious or hurtful way. But by definition, the mother is most definitely a snob. By her thoughts (how amazing and respected a Law degree is), her actions (running round town shouting her sibling has a Law degree/Laywer) and he words of how she values Law over any other humanity subject. That to me, is a snob. By definition of principle.
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    (Original post by The Empire Odyssey)
    No it's not fair enough. You should not sell yourself so short! An ultimatum NEVER works out well. It's just stupid. And a parent shouldn't say "it's our way or no way". That is ridiculous and horrible, in my opinion.

    Keep doing what you're doing and you'll reap the rewards. What degree will you be studying?

    They've made it perfectly clear to me that they don't support me moving out at all. Ever since I was like 14 I've wanted to move out for university. Every single time it comes up I get a long lecture about how I should obey them and stay at home otherwise I'll break up the family. At one point my mum actually threatened to disown me to which I would welcome. I live in a very toxic environment and I could bet all the ice cream in my freezer I'd be so much better mentally away from them.

    I hope to do either English or History (depends on results fingers crossed I got As and Bs) then do a law qualification and specialise in Animal Law or do a Masters
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    (Original post by super_kawaii)
    Well they're snobs and snobs are the lowest of the low. There is far more respect in following your ambitions than blindly following the desires of someone who hasn't earned any respect themselves.
    Not the case in Indian families. My older brother and sister either did or are doing a sciency degree and the career they want is a high paying one.

    (Original post by mercuryman)
    Come on now, you can't call somebody else's parents snobs, that's really disrespectful. The parents wanting you to do a good reputable degree will only act in your own good interests when you get a good job out of it.

    I'm not advising that you forcefully do the degree your parents want you to, but don't just end up doing a degree that won't get you anywhere or a decent paying Job after you graduate, times are getting rough.
    I'm sorry but no. I've made it perfectly clear to my parents my strengths lie in Arts subjects. It's been shown through my school reports and my exam results. There's no point whatsoever in doing a subject you hate, no matter how well it pays. I don't have any interest in Law so why bother?

    My older sister has a degree in Languages and she's found work faster than some of her mates who have degrees in Maths and Chemistry. She graduated last month.
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    (Original post by MrsSheldonCooper)
    They've made it perfectly clear to me that they don't support me moving out at all. Ever since I was like 14 I've wanted to move out for university. Every single time it comes up I get a long lecture about how I should obey them and stay at home otherwise I'll break up the family. At one point my mum actually threatened to disown me to which I would welcome. I live in a very toxic environment and I could bet all the ice cream in my freezer I'd be so much better mentally away from them.

    I hope to do either English or History (depends on results fingers crossed I got As and Bs) then do a law qualification and specialise in Animal Law.
    Oh gosh that's so sad. I come from a broken home - no where near your circumstances of disown and problems with what I study. It's to do with my sexuality in a very religious household. But that's a story for another thread.

    I would say moving out is a good idea. If you don't have a job now, it will become really difficult for you to find one when you go to uni cause remember you have 2nd and 3rd years scrambling to get jobs too. I recently applied for a kitchen pot washer in oxford for part-time... 146 people also applied for the same job! It's a very hard time for us students.

    So I say keep looking around and one of the most easiest way to earn money is to become a Student Ambassador for your uni. Some unis will pay £10 p/h for things like Open Days or Applicant Days and stuff like that, or Tour Guides for international students and stuff. So see what you can with that.

    Why not study English and History? (I studied English (and History) for first year but hated it so studying English and Philosophy instead)!

    I also believe doing a Law conversion is way better as doing a 3 year LLB course is very restrictive.
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    (Original post by 97Y)
    Just wanted to make a forum/post to people like me, who may be looking at forums and advice documents where it just assumes that your parents are 100% behind you.
    You're not alone in not having parents who won't give you a penny towards your studies/living and who didn't ask how any of your exams went.
    It can be difficult seeing "and you'll visit for Christmas" because I know that I won't and others may be in the same position too.

    Hey guys! Please make yourself known, because I am sure that I am not alone
    My mum was definatly not supportive of me going to study at UCLan and won't contribute money because she can't mainly. Does this still count?
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    (Original post by The Empire Odyssey)
    Oh gosh that's so sad. I come from a broken home - no where near your circumstances of disown and problems with what I study. It's to do with my sexuality in a very religious household. But that's a story for another thread.

    I would say moving out is a good idea. If you don't have a job now, it will become really difficult for you to find one when you go to uni cause remember you have 2nd and 3rd years scrambling to get jobs too. I recently applied for a kitchen pot washer in oxford for part-time... 146 people also applied for the same job! It's a very hard time for us students.

    So I say keep looking around and one of the most easiest way to earn money is to become a Student Ambassador for your uni. Some unis will pay £10 p/h for things like Open Days or Applicant Days and stuff like that, or Tour Guides for international students and stuff. So see what you can with that.

    Why not study English and History? (I studied English (and History) for first year but hated it so studying English and Philosophy instead)!

    I also believe doing a Law conversion is way better as doing a 3 year LLB course is very restrictive.
    Yup. But I get by

    I have a part time job but I hate it so much. But my mum insists I stay on it because its at the same place at where she works even though I told her I hate it. :/ But I'm thinking of just applying for another job later on.

    Because I want to do a language with one of the subjects
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    (Original post by MrsSheldonCooper)
    Yup. But I get by

    I have a part time job but I hate it so much. But my mum insists I stay on it because its at the same place at where she works even though I told her I hate it. :/ But I'm thinking of just applying for another job later on.

    Because I want to do a language with one of the subjects
    Yeah I know the feeling hunny. I worked part-time at a pub in Oxf and I absolutely hated it and you know what, nothing and not even money is worth your sanity/happiness. If you hate it, i'd say stick it out and try to transfer to the city you'll be in at uni. It will be hard to fund yourself, especially if you have no plans on coming home for the longer breaks like Christmas, Easter and Summer.

    Defo apply for other jobs if you're not happy in your current one. I wish I did this, but I just quit. I hated working and studying at uni. A lot of people underestimated it and I hated seeing friends go out and partying and me having to turn them down cause "I'm working then".

    Oh that's cool! Keep at it and good luck for Results Day!
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    (Original post by The Empire Odyssey)
    Yeah I know the feeling hunny. I worked part-time at a pub in Oxf and I absolutely hated it and you know what, nothing and not even money is worth your sanity/happiness. If you hate it, i'd say stick it out and try to transfer to the city you'll be in at uni. It will be hard to fund yourself, especially if you have no plans on coming home for the longer breaks like Christmas, Easter and Summer.

    Defo apply for other jobs if you're not happy in your current one. I wish I did this, but I just quit. I hated working and studying at uni. A lot of people underestimated it and I hated seeing friends go out and partying and me having to turn them down cause "I'm working then".

    Oh that's cool! Keep at it and good luck for Results Day!
    The salary's really good but I hate staring at the screen all day. Whenever I come out of work I have such a bad headache and the colleagues are so *****y. I got offered a babysitting job which paid about £3 more per hour and my mum told me to turn it down. I secretly think it was because she wouldn't be able to keep an eye on me or something.

    I have no plans going back during any of the holidays.

    Thanks I hope I'll be fine :/
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    (Original post by 97Y)
    Just wanted to make a forum/post to people like me, who may be looking at forums and advice documents where it just assumes that your parents are 100% behind you.
    You're not alone in not having parents who won't give you a penny towards your studies/living and who didn't ask how any of your exams went.
    It can be difficult seeing "and you'll visit for Christmas" because I know that I won't and others may be in the same position too.

    Hey guys! Please make yourself known, because I am sure that I am not alone
    My parents (well, the more dominant one) made it actively difficult for me to go to university (no support, goodwill)

    The hardest thing I found was living in halls and being able to decorate my place etc- had nobody to help me and no furniture - my part-time job just helped me scrape by. I ended up dropping out due to this and my parents' continuous abuse during the holidays which I really regret as I was a consistent A* student.

    Am finally going back now in my late 20s that I've established a more comfortable and calm way of life after coming from such a dysfunctional background (I wasn't ready at 18).

    Don't let the same happen to you.

    And don't let being surrounded by students with adoring parents make you feel bad about yourself.

    You did MORE than they did to get there - you are braver and more tenacious!
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    I'm not at university yet but I think that, that will be me in 4 years time.
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    University is one of the most difficult things to achieve if you have no parental support*


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    (Original post by MrsSheldonCooper)
    Not the case in Indian families. My older brother and sister either did or are doing a sciency degree and the career they want is a high paying one.



    I'm sorry but no. I've made it perfectly clear to my parents my strengths lie in Arts subjects. It's been shown through my school reports and my exam results. There's no point whatsoever in doing a subject you hate, no matter how well it pays. I don't have any interest in Law so why bother?

    My older sister has a degree in Languages and she's found work faster than some of her mates who have degrees in Maths and Chemistry. She graduated last month.
    Other people's opinions of your career are completely irrelevant. They'll won't be living your life and one day they'll be to dead to care about micromanaging your life.

    I'm exactly the same-I'm a language grad and my coursemates and I have found employment far quicker and more easily than friends studying more "respectable" courses like law or sciences
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    (Original post by AlphaCenturion)
    I don't give a damn if your parents are supportive or not. What I'm saying is, you should all think twice before plunging yourselves into high levels of debt, roughly £50,000 on average. And for what? A degree, something that doesn't guarantee a job. What if something goes wrong during your studies? You're screwed. If you don't get a 1 or atleast a 2:1 then forget about it. To much risk for not enough reward. And if your parents can't help you, grow up. It's their choice to do what they want with their own money. I'm sure they would rather use their money for something they want, rather then paying for their child to drink, party and shag for several years, probably to only come back home afterwards anyway.

    Someone obviously doesn't know anything about life. It's not all black and white and I think that you should stop looking down on people you know nothing about.
    Some people actually spent their time at uni studying.. A strange concept to you it may be, but it's true :O !
    You enjoy rallying against those who want to study, I do hope one day when you need medication you'll give two moments thanks to those who did study to make your medicine
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    (Original post by AngryRedhead)
    My mum was definatly not supportive of me going to study at UCLan and won't contribute money because she can't mainly. Does this still count?
    This wasn't meant to be a forum for people to give financial advice, but the rest, yes! It's either both or one of them, if she can't support you financially then that's that but then if there is no emotional support. That's where it gets hard..
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    (Original post by J_89)
    My parents (well, the more dominant one) made it actively difficult for me to go to university (no support, goodwill)

    The hardest thing I found was living in halls and being able to decorate my place etc- had nobody to help me and no furniture - my part-time job just helped me scrape by. I ended up dropping out due to this and my parents' continuous abuse during the holidays which I really regret as I was a consistent A* student.

    Am finally going back now in my late 20s that I've established a more comfortable and calm way of life after coming from such a dysfunctional background (I wasn't ready at 18).

    Don't let the same happen to you.

    And don't let being surrounded by students with adoring parents make you feel bad about yourself.

    You did MORE than they did to get there - you are braver and more tenacious!

    Thank you for your little nugget of hope. How are your studies now?
    I hope to 'cut the cord' or so to speak when I move out so I can start fresh
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    Just get a student loan.


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    (Original post by Platopus)
    My mum isn't financially supporting me but I figure, why should she? She spent the first 18 years if my life supporting me. Now I'm an adult, it's my turn to shoulder the burden.
    Turning 18 doesn't automatically mean that you can support yourself
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    (Original post by cherryred90s)
    Turning 18 doesn't automatically mean that you can support yourself
    It means you can get a job, which, coupled with a maintenance loan, would provide sufficient income to support you.
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    (Original post by super_kawaii)
    Other people's opinions of your career are completely irrelevant. They'll won't be living your life and one day they'll be to dead to care about micromanaging your life.

    I'm exactly the same-I'm a language grad and my coursemates and I have found employment far quicker and more easily than friends studying more "respectable" courses like law or sciences
    The thing I'm most worried about is having to go back to them if I'm dangerously poor or something. But I don't think that'll happen if I'm strict with my money. I can't tell you how hard it is being a teenager and not being allowed to be a normal one. I've missed out on so many years of my life so hopefully at uni I'll make up for it.
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    (Original post by MrsSheldonCooper)
    The thing I'm most worried about is having to go back to them if I'm dangerously poor or something. But I don't think that'll happen if I'm strict with my money. I can't tell you how hard it is being a teenager and not being allowed to be a normal one. I've missed out on so many years of my life so hopefully at uni I'll make up for it.
    Once you're at uni you don't have to go home-work full time over the holidays and make sure your housing contract for 2nd and subsequent years starts as soon as your previous contract ends so you can easily move your stuff directly between your houses. This, on top of an interest free overdraft can help you remain independent from your parents.

    I know this may sound harsh, but it sounds like your parents are very toxic, and imho it would be best if you go complete no contact once you start uni, so you can be happy.
 
 
 
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