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Is it bad for a 20 year old to date a 16 year old? watch

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    No you should be arrested
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    It sounds more like you want a fling with her than relationship anyway. I don't think anyone can say it's completely wrong for you to date her, because a 4 year age gap isn't that bad and the law not prohibiting it. But I still think your an adult and she's a teenager. Find somebody who hasn't got a lot of growing up to do
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    (Original post by KairosityKilled)
    It sounds more like you want a fling with her than relationship anyway. I don't think anyone can say it's completely wrong for you to date her, because a 4 year age gap isn't that bad and the law not prohibiting it. But I still think your an adult and she's a teenager. Find somebody who hasn't got a lot of growing up to do
    I don't just want a fling, how does it sound like that?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't just want a fling, how does it sound like that?
    Because she's 16. She'll be wanting to focus on exams, college, university ..... Where would a relationship with you fit into all of that? It's hard to judge someone accurately based on a few words so sorry if i'm coming across as harsh or completely wrong about it.

    At the end of the day nobody can tell you what to do, they can only tell you their opinion.
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    #1

    (Original post by KairosityKilled)
    Because she's 16. She'll be wanting to focus on exams, college, university ..... Where would a relationship with you fit into all of that? It's hard to judge someone accurately based on a few words so sorry if i'm coming across as harsh or completely wrong about it.

    At the end of the day nobody can tell you what to do, they can only tell you their opinion.
    She's finished her exams and isn't going to uni but I do get what you're saying
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm 20 and I've recently been working as a mentor with a group of 16 year old students. Anyway I've gotten quite close to one of them and we get on really well. She flirts with me a lot and sometimes I do flirt back and I've started to realise that I do like her. I wouldn't do anything while I'm still at work since it isn't allowed but I was thinking about asking her out when my job has finished. Do you think this is a good idea or not and why? Do you think it's ok for a 20 year old guy to date a 16 year old girl?
    You have to maintain professional boundaries.




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    When I was 16 I dated a 20 year old for two years (until I was 18 and he was 22). We had a very happy and healthy relationship - the age gap was never an issue and was barely discussed because it just didn't affect us at all. We ended up breaking up because he got a job far away, but we ended on good terms.

    I never felt that I was vulnerable due to my age, or that he was taking advantage of the situation. Everyone varies in maturity at all ages, so it just depends on the person.
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    You sound like a predator. "oh i wait till i've finished my job". WTF is wrong with you ? Leave the girl alone. You have 4 years of maturity, life skills and experiences, compared to her. You should be helping her better her future. Not willing to be apart of it. You sound creepy. You should know better. You are abusing or abused your position. If you cannot control yourself how do you expect a teenage girl too. Man up, walk away. and date a woman. you know someone who is experienced and can't be taken advantage of. Your every parent's worst nightmare.
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    (Original post by Witchell21)
    You sound like a predator. "oh i wait till i've finished my job". WTF is wrong with you ? Leave the girl alone. You have 4 years of maturity, life skills and experiences, compared to her. You should be helping her better her future. Not willing to be apart of it. You sound creepy. You should know better. You are abusing or abused your position. If you cannot control yourself how do you expect a teenage girl too. Man up, walk away. and date a woman. you know someone who is experienced and can't be taken advantage of. Your every parent's worst nightmare.
    So according to this logic, we are only allowed to date people of our age because any age gap would mean extra years of maturity. We will never be able to catch up!

    I know 23 year olds who have done nothing with their lives — no education, no normal job, living with their mum and a perverted view of life and women. But hey, the bloke must have more experience of life than that 18 year old who graduated a year early and went to uni, writes articles for a living and is a professional world touring gymnast.
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    (Original post by pecora)
    So according to this logic, we are only allowed to date people of our age because any age gap would mean extra years of maturity. We will never be able to catch up!

    I know 23 year olds who have done nothing with their lives — no education, no normal job, living with their mum and a perverted view of life and women. But hey, the bloke must have more experience of life than that 18 year old who graduated a year early and went to uni, writes articles for a living and is a professional world touring gymnast.
    That has nothing to do with,what is being debated here. Or what i have originally commented on here. You are trying to sound smart,but you're not. You are over reaching.I never said anything that you have applied. You are talking about 18 year olds. we are talking about a 16 year old and a 20 year old. Stop reading into what you want to read.And actually read what i have said. if you cannot do that. I suggest you don't reply to me. Why you feel the need to bring that,up i dunno ? Don't use my comment to get personal **** of your chest.Go on reddit.

    I'm talking about maturity regarding a 16 year old teenager and a grown adult. I'm not talking about age gap generally when 18+ adults are involved. Yet again reading into what you wanna see. If she was 18 and he was 22 fine but she isn't . He was her mentor. A position to help educate and guide people younger than him.He abused that position and has been flirting with a 16 year old girl. If you still cannot get it. You are just like him.
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    I don't see why everybody always makes such a fuss over a few years.
    If I was your age and it wasn't against the law... I would go for it ......and if people don't like it, then screw them

    and what mental gap?
    girls are usually a couple of years ahead in maturity than boys anyway.

    him dating a 16 year old girl, is just the same as him dating an 18 year old guy [if we're talking about the mental aspect]

    If he came on here asking if it's alright at 20 to date an 18 year old guy everyone would say it's ok [except the homophobes]
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    (Original post by Witchell21)
    That has nothing to do with,what is being debated here. Or what i have originally commented on here. You are trying to sound smart,but you're not. You are over reaching.I never said anything that you have applied. You are talking about 18 year olds. we are talking about a 16 year old and a 20 year old. Stop reading into what you want to read.And actually read what i have said. if you cannot do that. I suggest you don't reply to me. Why you feel the need to bring that,up i dunno ? Don't use my comment to get personal **** of your chest.Go on reddit.

    I'm talking about maturity regarding a 16 year old teenager and a grown adult. I'm not talking about age gap generally when 18+ adults are involved. Yet again reading into what you wanna see. If she was 18 and he was 22 fine but she isn't . He was her mentor. A position to help educate and guide people younger than him.He abused that position and has been flirting with a 16 year old girl. If you still cannot get it. You are just like him.
    lol
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    (Original post by pecora)
    lol
    yeah exactly what i thought, you would say.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Since I'm not actually a teacher and I'm only working short time the company I work for said when the job is finished that you're free to talk to them, start friendships/relationships etc.
    That doest matter, if you hold a position of authority you are still liable. As it applied to me and my colleagues when I volunteered with teens we only did sessions. Your company is problematic as they shouldnt encourage relationships at all. That is abuse of trust, no sugar coating it.
 
 
 
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