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    (Original post by 2710)
    Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

    Focus on building your character, your health and your heart and people will notice. That is what I am hoping :P

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    That's what I try and aim for but eventually give up in the end as with my my efforts are always fruitless lol.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You're equal to the men who you think are more attractive and you're just as worthy of love.

    In my opinion you should work on having a good personality, maybe learn how to be funny, and get a good figure. Then I'm sure you'll pull all the lads 😉

    An optimistic outlook can only help you when you're trying to find someone to date, there's no need to put yourself down.
    Optimism is something I try and stay away from, pessimism has actually helped me become less depressed. I find that if you expect nothing at all and just expect nothing good will happen you are let down less. I actually have had it with being all optimistic and stuff only to be let down with each corner I turn and just evidently become worse as I go on.

    Given up on a good figure lol, the straight boys already have better bodies than me. TBH I am just waiting to die
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    (Original post by Hasan_ali)
    I suppose so, and I guess they do but they get more chances and opportunities at finding someone if you get where I am coming from. I guess I have to do that too, look at other's achievements. Thank you.
    I thought it was sad when you wrote you are just waiting to die. I don't really care if i die or not and that's how i have always felt because i have never liked the way i look. I think i look weird and i have a hideous profile. I'd like to get my teeth fixed by getting braces & teeth whitening but it costs a lot & i don't want the dentist to take any teeth out first in order to put the braces in which is what they would have to do and that's why i have not done it but i want to do the teeth whitening so i can be more confident when i smile as this is the main reason stopping me trying to go for castings for acting jobs. Although i'd love to change the way i look with a face lift and lipo to make me slimmer because i don't think i will lose any weight even if i exercise as not everyone is lucky enough to lose weight when they do exercise
    But although i'm saying i'd love to have plastic surgery i would not do it because i hate pain, i don't want to spend any time in hospital and it could go wrong and i end up looking worse so people have to just accept me for the way i am.

    I am not depressed about the way i look, just not happy about it so there is a difference plus i see people who look worse than myself but sometimes those ugly people have partners and are married and i think how on earth did they manage to pull anyone as i believe i will always be single and nobody would ever want to marry me but even though men have always asked me out walking down the street, train station, supermarket, etc but some men are real scumbags and would instantly say they don't want a relationship just fun or if they don't say that then i think that is what they all only want anyway but not actually saying it. I don't give men like that the time of day as i think that's a disgusting thing to say as i know i am worth more than that and deserve better so even though men ask me out i don't understand why as i think i look awful. I never go anywhere like clubs, bars, etc and i don't need to as i get approached on the street so i always try to tell other people just to approach people they like the look of on the street as this way of meeting people does actually work for most people and you don't have to go to clubs, bars to meet a potential partner or even new friends, you can just get chatting to people on the street, supermarket, shops or even a library or park.
    In the past i have turned down really good looking men that asked me out on the street that did want a long term relationship because i did not believe i look good but i really regret that.

    But anyway even good looking people can't always get a partner and there is a thread on here started by a good looking man who says he can't get a date or it does not progress on to the second date.
    That thread is called: Going To See Escort But Really Have No choice What Would You Do ? So type all that in the search section of TSR and look at all the replies and also if you or anyone else feel they can't get anyone there's nothing wrong with paying an escort.

    My neighbour told me that his mate uses them all the time but he said he never would and this neighbour is so good looking he does not have much luck in finding a girlfriend so i don't know why he does'nt use escorts. He does not think it's wrong but maybe he just can't get his head around paying for it but when you really think about it if you met a partner in a normal way you still have to pay to take them out, buy them presents and if anyone got married then divorced that's going to cost them even more so paying escorts actually works out cheaper.
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    (Original post by Hasan_ali)
    Optimism is something I try and stay away from, pessimism has actually helped me become less depressed. I find that if you expect nothing at all and just expect nothing good will happen you are let down less. I actually have had it with being all optimistic and stuff only to be let down with each corner I turn and just evidently become worse as I go on.

    Given up on a good figure lol, the straight boys already have better bodies than me. TBH I am just waiting to die
    Type Lukas Graham song 7 Years at the V festival on You tube as this guy is chubby and not the most handsome man and he does not have a high voice
    But i do like his song called 7 Years but watch the video of him performing at the V festival where he has no shirt on.
    And the actress i told you about in Glee has also been in the series American horror story and a film called Precious, she is fat and ugly and if she allowed her looks to stop her applying for acting roles and only compared herself to other beautiful, skinny people she would never be famous and achieve her dream of being an actress so i just look at her and other unattractive people and tell myself if they can do it so can I.
    But i also hate it when people tell me to be positive as they themselves are not always positive.
    When i apply for jobs i tell myself that i'm not going to get them and that's just my way of not being dissapointed if i don't get them but people don't get it and just want to waste time giving me a lecture and saying by thinking that way i'm talking myself out of a job. Their ****ing idiots because how can you talk yourself out of a job just by thinking that i won't get the job i'm applying for but sometimes i have got jobs i thought i would never get. I don't go to interviews with a negative attitude. It's just an excuse to make other people feel bad by saying stay positive.
    So i have some of the same thoughts as you. Eg, I don't think i will ever meet a potential partner but it always happens to me when i'm not thinking about it and not expecting it when i walk down the street.

    And on Saturday i went to my final enrolment for college to do a music course, i had to do their silly English and maths test first and i passed. I did'nt think i would.
    And today Monday i went for the induction at my local college and i start properly next week Monday but the course is called Rock School, I can't wait because it is something i have been putting off for years. And if i had not plucked up the courage to try it i would be at home bored, depressed and have no motivation to do anything. I am also quite scared too because i don't believe i have any musical talent but i'll never know if i don' try and for you also to go to college/uni is a big achievement to try to help yourself and do something positive. Even if you think you won't get good grades the most important thing is that you tried and most people don't bother to enrol in college because they are scared to try or think they will fail.
    6 months ago I applied to get into a different college to do a business course but i did not pass the test but i am so glad i did'nt because that is not really what i wanted to do and i would hate all the paper work and studying i would have to do plus with any music courses in college, universty they always say they will get you jobs in the music industry whether that's ordinary admin jobs or playing live at gigs i'm not sure.
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    The gay world is very superficial, but I don't think it's easy for anyone. A lot of gay men just want to sleep around, so it isn't easy to find something more meaningful, regardless of appearance.Even the best looking person will just be wanted for a quick shag - is that really what you want?

    It seems like you have low self-esteem and are possibly depressed. You shouldn't let a superficial culture dictate the way you feel about yourself. What do you enjoy doing? Maybe try placing the focus on trying to happy instead of trying to live up to impossible standards which very few live up to. There's so much more to people and there's so much more to you.

    From personal experience, people tend to gravitate towards you if you seem more content/happy in yourself. It really isn't all about looks. I'm sure you're not ugly anyway - most people feel ugly at times.
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    (Original post by Judge Judy)
    I thought it was sad when you wrote you are just waiting to die. I don't really care if i die or not and that's how i have always felt because i have never liked the way i look. I think i look weird and i have a hideous profile. I'd like to get my teeth fixed by getting braces & teeth whitening but it costs a lot & i don't want the dentist to take any teeth out first in order to put the braces in which is what they would have to do and that's why i have not done it but i want to do the teeth whitening so i can be more confident when i smile as this is the main reason stopping me trying to go for castings for acting jobs. Although i'd love to change the way i look with a face lift and lipo to make me slimmer because i don't think i will lose any weight even if i exercise as not everyone is lucky enough to lose weight when they do exercise
    But although i'm saying i'd love to have plastic surgery i would not do it because i hate pain, i don't want to spend any time in hospital and it could go wrong and i end up looking worse so people have to just accept me for the way i am.

    I am not depressed about the way i look, just not happy about it so there is a difference plus i see people who look worse than myself but sometimes those ugly people have partners and are married and i think how on earth did they manage to pull anyone as i believe i will always be single and nobody would ever want to marry me but even though men have always asked me out walking down the street, train station, supermarket, etc but some men are real scumbags and would instantly say they don't want a relationship just fun or if they don't say that then i think that is what they all only want anyway but not actually saying it. I don't give men like that the time of day as i think that's a disgusting thing to say as i know i am worth more than that and deserve better so even though men ask me out i don't understand why as i think i look awful. I never go anywhere like clubs, bars, etc and i don't need to as i get approached on the street so i always try to tell other people just to approach people they like the look of on the street as this way of meeting people does actually work for most people and you don't have to go to clubs, bars to meet a potential partner or even new friends, you can just get chatting to people on the street, supermarket, shops or even a library or park.
    In the past i have turned down really good looking men that asked me out on the street that did want a long term relationship because i did not believe i look good but i really regret that.

    But anyway even good looking people can't always get a partner and there is a thread on here started by a good looking man who says he can't get a date or it does not progress on to the second date.
    That thread is called: Going To See Escort But Really Have No choice What Would You Do ? So type all that in the search section of TSR and look at all the replies and also if you or anyone else feel they can't get anyone there's nothing wrong with paying an escort.

    My neighbour told me that his mate uses them all the time but he said he never would and this neighbour is so good looking he does not have much luck in finding a girlfriend so i don't know why he does'nt use escorts. He does not think it's wrong but maybe he just can't get his head around paying for it but when you really think about it if you met a partner in a normal way you still have to pay to take them out, buy them presents and if anyone got married then divorced that's going to cost them even more so paying escorts actually works out cheaper.
    I guess that it is sad however it can of ten be the reality of some individuals like me for example. I got braces and they're not bad. I had to get four teeth removed, two on my upper arch and two on my bottom arch. They left a gap but that closes after a while anyway so if you like take care of your teeth while they are in the braces then the end product will be very good and plus it can really help in the future as if you have any bite issues that also gets corrected so any like chipping is less likely to occur. Same here, the gym really doesn't do much for me sometimes but eh ive gotta wait I guess for the results to appear. Same here, I am not very good with lots of pain, I get grumpy and want people to leave me alone.

    I am, evidently lol. I have always wanted to know what It would feel like to be that person that is completely hot after puberty like that would be so awesome. I have never had that happen to me, have a guy ask me out on like the streets or something. I have always been the one to take a quick peak at a guy but then advert my gaze or lower it or whatever I choose to do in that situation. I find that men who want fun of others must be hot because for a guy to want to have sex with you must say something then at least. I will likely never go to gay bars and clubs and such, I feel though nobody would even take a second glance at me. It actually sucks though too because when you're seeing all your friends get into relationships and they're all hot too you kinda feel like your effed in a sense.

    I guess so but I think that his wants may be a bit different to his friend's? He is good looking so I bet he is just a bit of a dry spell. People will likly throw themselves at him given the chance. It is what always happens.

    (Original post by Judge Judy)
    Type Lukas Graham song 7 Years at the V festival on You tube as this guy is chubby and not the most handsome man and he does not have a high voice
    But i do like his song called 7 Years but watch the video of him performing at the V festival where he has no shirt on.
    And the actress i told you about in Glee has also been in the series American horror story and a film called Precious, she is fat and ugly and if she allowed her looks to stop her applying for acting roles and only compared herself to other beautiful, skinny people she would never be famous and achieve her dream of being an actress so i just look at her and other unattractive people and tell myself if they can do it so can I.
    But i also hate it when people tell me to be positive as they themselves are not always positive.
    When i apply for jobs i tell myself that i'm not going to get them and that's just my way of not being dissapointed if i don't get them but people don't get it and just want to waste time giving me a lecture and saying by thinking that way i'm talking myself out of a job. Their ****ing idiots because how can you talk yourself out of a job just by thinking that i won't get the job i'm applying for but sometimes i have got jobs i thought i would never get. I don't go to interviews with a negative attitude. It's just an excuse to make other people feel bad by saying stay positive.
    So i have some of the same thoughts as you. Eg, I don't think i will ever meet a potential partner but it always happens to me when i'm not thinking about it and not expecting it when i walk down the street.

    I think I h
    And on Saturday i went to my final enrolment for college to do a music course, i had to do their silly English and maths test first and i passed. I did'nt think i would.
    And today Monday i went for the induction at my local college and i start properly next week Monday but the course is called Rock School, I can't wait because it is something i have been putting off for years. And if i had not plucked up the courage to try it i would be at home bored, depressed and have no motivation to do anything. I am also quite scared too because i don't believe i have any musical talent but i'll never know if i don' try and for you also to go to college/uni is a big achievement to try to help yourself and do something positive. Even if you think you won't get good grades the most important thing is that you tried and most people don't bother to enrol in college because they are scared to try or think they will fail.
    6 months ago I applied to get into a different college to do a business course but i did not pass the test but i am so glad i did'nt because that is not really what i wanted to do and i would hate all the paper work and studying i would have to do plus with any music courses in college, universty they always say they will get you jobs in the music industry whether that's ordinary admin jobs or playing live at gigs i'm not sure.
    I think I have heard of his name abut i cannot seem to figure out where.

    I suppouse you are right but thats may be due to her talents? and yeahI guess so but she probably has had a different mindset compared to me, maybe she want as depressed as I am but who knows? Being straight is way easier as there are more guys out there who love curvy people but in the gay community thats likeley to be a small percenytage and even then some of them don't like me either. I normally do the same, there is no real point in being all happy about it and saying that youll get it because then in the end if you font get accepted for the job you will not be as disappointed ats the other people might be who are all optimistic about the jobs

    Yeah i suppose evreyone has thier own forte in the education system, noweonder it is so diverse now. Well done on the test too lol. I suppose so but I think the gardes might make me feel even worse if you know what I mean .
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    (Original post by YaliaV)
    The gay world is very superficial, but I don't think it's easy for anyone. A lot of gay men just want to sleep around, so it isn't easy to find something more meaningful, regardless of appearance.Even the best looking person will just be wanted for a quick shag - is that really what you want?

    It seems like you have low self-esteem and are possibly depressed. You shouldn't let a superficial culture dictate the way you feel about yourself. What do you enjoy doing? Maybe try placing the focus on trying to happy instead of trying to live up to impossible standards which very few live up to. There's so much more to people and there's so much more to you.

    From personal experience, people tend to gravitate towards you if you seem more content/happy in yourself. It really isn't all about looks. I'm sure you're not ugly anyway - most people feel ugly at times.
    By very you mean mostly I hope. Most gay men likeley won't find a suitable partner or significant other due to the sheer superficiality of it sometimes. It is why so many of them die alone when they are old due to how superficial they are. And no, I want something that actually means something, not just a quicky.

    yes, very to be honest. I am always tired and such. And I have no idea tbh, I don't really enjoy many things.

    Experience will differ from person to person so your experience may not be the thing that may happen to me.
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    (Original post by Hasan_ali)
    By very you mean mostly I hope. Most gay men likeley won't find a suitable partner or significant other due to the sheer superficiality of it sometimes. It is why so many of them die alone when they are old due to how superficial they are. And no, I want something that actually means something, not just a quicky.

    yes, very to be honest. I am always tired and such. And I have no idea tbh, I don't really enjoy many things.

    Experience will differ from person to person so your experience may not be the thing that may happen to me.
    Yes mostly - at least in the club scene.

    Of course, but you said you're just waiting to die. Surely it couldn't hurt to try a few new things to see if things improve. I'm not claiming to have any of the answers; I'm just trying to help.
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    (Original post by YaliaV)
    Yes mostly - at least in the club scene.

    Of course, but you said you're just waiting to die. Surely it couldn't hurt to try a few new things to see if things improve. I'm not claiming to have any of the answers; I'm just trying to help.
    what new things could I try? I am fresh out of any ideas lol.
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    "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder."
    I absolutely agree.
    Although I'm not a gay men, I think that it is harder for people who are less attractive to find their soul mates because what they are looking for is true love. True love is not about your appearance, but your soul. It is relatively easier for hot guys to find a boyfriend because they look attractive, but I always think that their love may not be that strong, especially if that love is built based on their good looks. I recommend you the gay novel "Truth In The Dark" written by Amy Lane, you may see things differently after reading it.
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    Oh god yeah that's Crappy, I think a lot of gay guys feel like that, I definitely do and I've done that before crying for 10mins straight because you get so worked up about how disgusted you are at yourself and have been comparing yourself to others the whole day. Well sometimes it gets better and you don't feel so bad only to look in the mirror and be angry again or you don't mind that and it's a photo that you see of yourself and then it starts again. Now for me I've been told I'm a normal average guy, however I have some appearance handicaps, I have a missing front tooth that I have dentures for and thinning hair. Now maybe to you that might not seem bad but every time I look at it despise myself. So after having done that a while I recede into myself and focus on personal development study and learning for myself, it's as though I say I'm so ugly **** it I'm going to be smart then instead and I'll be witty and funny I'll just drink and go out socialing and even those pretty boys think I'm ugh then **** them too. For a while I don't care I say to myself that I'm fine for now I don't like aspects of myself but I'll work hard to 'fix' them I'll be buff at the gym and I'll work to save up to get better teeth hair nose face. I hate thinking like I need to fix anything but it gets me through thinking I'll make changes and I can control my appearance This isn't really advice on how to cope but just a matter of fact that I get what you feel and that your not alone, but also that despite what you think a lot of men probably don't think your ugly as much as you think, to me that's true but I don't fit an ideal which upsets me too much which I suspect is true enough for you too.
 
 
 
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