Flatmate heard me having sex? What should I do

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    Its the media. I study english literature at A level atm and my teacher was explaining how social media has such a massive impact that we are fed hegemony for example, all muslims are terrorists/evil beings. So then all muslims have this burden to try and prove theyr not what theyr portrayed but nowadays its getting harder to show people that our beliefs and religion is not something to be scared of when followed in the right way not like ISIS and other groups.
    It also irriates me how people jump on muslim terrorists yet no one seems to remember the Nazis or even the KKK as anything much compared to muslims. I just dnt get it ..
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    (Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes)
    And SHE has the right to feel how she feels
    Yeah of course she does, but this is expected when you move into university halls.
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    (Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes)



    I don't think they should abstain, I just think everyone should be considerate of eachothers feelings because they do all live together. I mean if you can be quieter.

    But this thread pisses me off, it's just another way to make muslims people feel like they can't be a part of the rest of British society because of the way they live their lives -_-

    I know the head scarf thing is a bit far, and if it bothers her a lot then she can just wrap a thin scarf over her head when she is walking around the flat.

    But the hearing people have sex probably isn't pleasant for MANY people, muslim or not.
    YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE LOUD TO HEAR IT. IT IS EASY TO HEAR IF YOU ARE NEXT DOOR.

    That is my point. You would literally have to abstain from sex to not hear it. At least that was my experience of some student accommodation.

    They need to speak about it. Become friendly. And if she knows she wants to bring her boy around for a night, tell her beforehand so she can go elsewhere because she knows what is up...

    What you can't do is sit their in your room just listening and not doing anything about it and then complaining after because your flatmate had sex and you could hear it.
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    (Original post by Asiangirl_18)
    Its the media. I study english literature at A level atm and my teacher was explaining how social media has such a massive impact that we are fed hegemony for example, all muslims are terrorists/evil beings. So then all muslims have this burden to try and prove theyr not what theyr portrayed but nowadays its getting harder to show people that our beliefs and religion is not something to be scared of when followed in the right way not like ISIS and other groups.
    It also irriates me how people jump on muslim terrorists yet no one seems to remember the Nazis or even the KKK as anything much compared to muslims. I just dnt get it ..
    If you're a bit new here, you will come to understand that TSR has a special kind of hate for muslims, diversity and multiculturalism. It's very odd, in normal everyday life I have genuinely never heard people speak like this (although on some occasions I have, like a teacher who said he would bomb up the whole middle-east and Pakistan...and then looked at me because he though I was Pakistani -__- and he made sure not to say India because I'm Indian -_-).

    Most people wouldn't say half the **** they do if it wasn't for the fact they can say is from behind a computer screen.
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    Thats so ridiculous. Ive always hung out with white people for most of my life and they have never been so racist or even said things that could hint towards racism like the stuff im reading on here. Its really sad tbh. Seeming as all of us here are educated to at least GCSEs if not further, surely people should be more open and understanding that everyone has their own faiths and beliefs but it doesnt mean we cant all integrate and live happily alongside each other. When they say ignorance is bliss it really is because when u hear such bigotry from people who are sitting behind a screen and chatting such rubbish,u lose ur faith in the world and what its becoming.
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    (Original post by Asiangirl_18)
    I would say that because she is obviously religious, you need to bear that in mind and maybe just sit together and talk about certain boundaries that should be set so you dont offend her and she deosnt dictate over your life too much. There should be a reasonable outcome so that no one has to feel awkward or discriminated against.

    P.S. Maybe just dont have sex whilst she is in the flat. Or go to ur bf's instead
    I agree partly what you say. But how does having sex in YOUR OWN flat offend someone? She isn't making loud moaning noises as she said? She isn't breaking rules? She's minding her own business.
    If the girl wearing a headscarf doesn't want to see men because of religious reasons, she SHOULD agree to give contact details so her flat mates can tell her. Furthermore the girl having sex shouldn't bring men into the kitchen, only her bedroom.
    And no i don't agree with your "PS" she has a right, you can't take that away from her, she has spoken to the girl wearing a headscarf to get her contact details but she said "no"....what more can she do? She is in the flat 90% of the time.
    They must find a compromise which protects their individual rights. But Certainly just having sex is absolutely fine.
    Btw I am asian.
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    (Original post by Mathsmad123)
    I agree partly what you say. But how does having sex in YOUR OWN flat offend someone? She isn't making loud moaning noises as she said? She isn't breaking rules? She's minding her own business.
    If the girl wearing a headscarf doesn't want to see men because of religious reasons, she SHOULD agree to give contact details so her flat mates can tell her. Furthermore the girl having sex shouldn't bring men into the kitchen, only her bedroom.
    And no i don't agree with your "PS" she has a right, you can't take that away from her, she has spoken to the girl wearing a headscarf to get her contact details but she said "no"....what more can she do? She is in the flat 90% of the time.
    They must find a compromise which protects their individual rights. But Certainly just having sex is absolutely fine.
    I see what your saying and i get that the girl should deffo give her contact details to her flatmates. It is unreasonable that she hasnt thus far. Sex is just a touchy subject especially when religion is then invloved because obviously the girl doesnt want to hear sex or even know it is happening as in islam we are supposed to stay pure as possible. I agree that they should find a compromise but if the tensions are arising over the subject of sex then the OP just shouldnt have sex in the shared flat. Its shared after all so u need to have some respect etc for the other people and their beliefs as they will surely differentiate from your own. Perhaps when the OP feels the need to have sexual activities with her oartner, then maybe go somewhere else. Maybe the bf's flat or such. Whats the problem in that? That way OP gets more privacy and the muslim girl doesnt have to feel awkward or perhaps segregated due to the clash of opinions and such??
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    And lol i didn think u wud be asian seeming as ur almost hating on the muslim girl for her beliefs and the way she has been raised in a way. No offense to ya kus i kinda get what yr saying but it shouldnt be made into such a massive issue
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    (Original post by Asiangirl_18)
    And lol i didn think u wud be asian seeming as ur almost hating on the muslim girl for her beliefs and the way she has been raised in a way. No offense to ya kus i kinda get what yr saying but it shouldnt be made into such a massive issue
    No no not hating, nor am i racist. Im a realist, i say things how it is. I agree she should practice her religion if she wants to, but I'm a firm believer that others have the right to do what they want.
    Common sense tells me that the non muslim girl she text each other if a male is coming. Thats the simplest solution.
    Communication between the two to find a solution is lacking.
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    (Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes)
    Oh calm the **** down!

    Even if her religion has something to do with it, so what? I think if your living together you should try your best to respect eachother. Clearly OP wasn't being as quiet as she thought she was or else her roommate would not have heard.

    I wouldn't want to hear someone having sex either, I would find it extremely uncomfortable. It's a bit gross really.

    I admit she seems a little difficult, but saying that she sounds very introverted so maybe she doesn't want to give her contact details to the rest of her flat mates. Ngl she sounds like she is singled out, so maybe that is why she doesn't want to give out her details? It doesn't really matter if she gives out her details, the point is they are all living together and she is a part of that house as much as everyone. Just because everyone in that house is okay with hearing eachother have sex doesn't make it okay. You should CONSIDER everyone in the household, since she has as much right to be there as everyone else does.
    You think it's a reasonable demand to always give her prior notice of guys visiting the flat, and without any way to contact her? Come on, Holmes
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    (Original post by Mathsmad123)
    No no not hating, nor am i racist. Im a realist, i say things how it is. I agree she should practice her religion if she wants to, but I'm a firm believer that others have the right to do what they want.
    Common sense tells me that the non muslim girl she text each other if a male is coming. Thats the simplest solution.
    Communication between the two to find a solution is lacking.
    Yepp i agree that they deffo need to talk and just work things out. And i guess these sorta things are quite touchy and need to just be talked out rather than debated out over a forum lol
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    Yes its reasonable that she wants prior notice because as a muslim girl who wears a scarf myself, i would find it highly rude and offensive for my flat mates to bring guys around to basically the place i live as i may not be wearing a scarf and i would like to have notice to prepare myself and maybe move away and give the OP and male friends a bit of space. Maybe thats why she wanted prior notice?? RobML
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    (Original post by Asiangirl_18)
    Yes its reasonable that she wants prior notice because as a muslim girl who wears a scarf myself, i would find it highly rude and offensive for my flat mates to bring guys around to basically the place i live as i may not be wearing a scarf and i would like to have notice to prepare myself and maybe move away and give the OP and male friends a bit of space. Maybe thats why she wanted prior notice?? RobML
    She should at least make it easier for her flatmates to contact her, then
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    (Original post by RobML)
    She should at least make it easier for her flatmates to contact her, then
    I agree with that bit because otherwise her wanting to be told when mates will come around is unreasonable as they cant contact her
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    (Original post by Asiangirl_18)
    I agree with that bit because otherwise her wanting to be told when mates will come around is unreasonable as they cant contact her
    Mhmm, I was talking about the whole picture, so including the difficulty of contact
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    Well i only agree with part of what ur saying lol. But guess its not for us to debate over kus essentially im sure the OP will be able to sort something out with the girl
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    (Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes)

    Even if her religion has something to do with it, so what? I think if your living together you should try your best to respect eachother. Clearly OP wasn't being as quiet as she thought she was or else her roommate would not have heard.

    I wouldn't want to hear someone having sex either, I would find it extremely uncomfortable. It's a bit gross really.

    Do not live in halls or even share a house.
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    (Original post by Asiangirl_18)
    Yes its reasonable that she wants prior notice because as a muslim girl who wears a scarf myself, i would find it highly rude and offensive for my flat mates to bring guys around to basically the place i live as i may not be wearing a scarf and i would like to have notice to prepare myself and maybe move away and give the OP and male friends a bit of space. Maybe thats why she wanted prior notice?? RobML
    Do not share a house with non-Muslims then.
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    Maybe she doesnt get on with her own asian pple? Ive had that trouble in the past
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    (Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes)
    If you're a bit new here, you will come to understand that TSR has a special kind of hate for muslims, diversity and multiculturalism. It's very odd, in normal everyday life I have genuinely never heard people speak like this (although on some occasions I have, like a teacher who said he would bomb up the whole middle-east and Pakistan...and then looked at me because he though I was Pakistani -__- and he made sure not to say India because I'm Indian -_-).

    Most people wouldn't say half the **** they do if it wasn't for the fact they can say is from behind a computer screen.
    Are you Indian? :five:

    Posted from TSR Mobile
 
 
 
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