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Pakistani Muslims please help.... Muslim girl dating a white guy watch

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    • #7
    #7

    (Original post by MrsSheldonCooper)
    You can say the exact same thing to someone whose marrying someone of the same faith as them. You can get a guy who preaches to you how women have their feet above Paradise and are queens but then after marriage you realise he likes the Quran verse which condones wife beating.
    Clearly you haven't understood that quranic verse then. Let me explain:
    It is only as a last resort and only a light tap (like you do with friends and fam...like a tap on shoulder). In no way is the husband allowed to leave any sort of mark there...so no redness, no finger prints, no bruises. Everyone always mosunderstands this and say this 'condones beating'
    Just so you know, even though light tapping is allowed... the Prophet has never done this and has actually disuaded it. The way of the prophet is like a commentary for the quran.
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    Listen sister; "Love has no boundaries, not even AQA". - Dneep Singh.
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    (Original post by MrsSheldonCooper)
    You can say the exact same thing to someone whose marrying someone of the same faith as them. You can get a guy who preaches to you how women have their feet above Paradise and are queens but then after marriage you realise he likes the Quran verse which condones wife beating.
    I agree it can very well happen in both ways, my point was you can't base marriage on love alone without knowing the persons character first.

    The Quran doesn't condone wife beating in any shape or form. When cultures have been ruled with misogyny for generations and patriarchy is prevalent, a handful of men are bound to twist a few of verses to suit their interest. I believe all religions have peaceful message.
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    (Original post by ~scorpio~)
    What's the percentage of interfaith marriage working for the general population, Especially the practicing one? imagine a practicing Jew marrying a practicing Muslim. It simply won't work. They have their faith and we have ours is what the Quran says
    So why is it permissible for Muslim men to marry Christians and Jews?
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    My aunty married an Indian (he was Hindu) and at first everyone disowned her but now (after like 2-3 years) they're slowly starting to talk again. It's because she just gave birth and everyone wants to be involved in the baby's life.

    I have another aunt that eloped with someone (although he was Muslim) and after a year everyone forgave her.

    I think you should stay with your boyfriend but tell your parents about him. Hold off marrying him for a few years - to give your parents time to accept him. If they never do then, no offence, I doubt they love you. Good, loving parents will never disown their kids for falling in love with a person who is the 'wrong' race/religion.

    Why be unhappy for the rest of your life by leaving the one you love for someone else? You, not family, will have to live with your spouse, eat with him, sleep with him, raise kids with him grow old with him... I think you should have the biggest say in who you end up with.
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    (Original post by IdeasForLife)
    This comes down to whether you value Allah over him or not. Honestly believe me marrying him isn't worth it. You'll wreck your dunya and your akhirah. Your marriage wouldn't count Islamically and you'll be committing zina.
    You just said...."Honestly believe me marrying him isn't worth it." . Seriously?! Just because he's a different skin colour to muslims you say that? Learn to have respect and dignity towards every person regardless of their skin colour, because people like you are sick people (i literally mean disgusting, like messed up in the head). We should treat everyone equally, everyone has a right to marry who they want because like this girl said, he has a good heart and thats all that matters.
    Oh and btw just because she chooses to marry him, you are implying she doesn't value allah? Of course she does you sick minded child.
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    (Original post by A-LJLB)
    I love this.
    "Relationship ghouls", indeed.
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    (Original post by childofthesun)
    So why is it permissible for Muslim men to marry Christians and Jews?
    Depends on the scholar you follow, that question is debatable.

    Men aren't affected as much as women. Religious Muslim men don't drink for instance, so that doesn't harm a Non Muslim wife. However if it was vice versa..a non Muslim husband may be an alcoholic and might refuse to stop drinking while the wife is praying, men are physically stronger so the wife will feel trapped, what can she do? He might stop her from wearing the hijab. Whereas Muslim men won't be affected by a non Muslim wife as much as a Muslim woman. Muslim men are taught to follow the morals and values of Islam. We have role models like relationship between prophet Muhammed and khadija or imam Ali with Fatima.
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    (Original post by ~scorpio~)
    Depends on the scholar you follow, that question is debatable.

    Men aren't affected as much as women. Religious Muslim men don't drink for instance, so that doesn't harm a Non Muslim wife. However if it was vice versa..a non Muslim husband may be an alcoholic and might refuse to stop drinking while the wife is praying, men are physically stronger so the wife will feel trapped, what can she do? He might stop her from wearing the hijab. Whereas Muslim men won't be affected by a non Muslim wife as much as a Muslim woman. Muslim men are taught to follow the morals and values of Islam. We have role models like relationship between prophet Muhammed and khadija or imam Ali with Fatima.
    Debatable how?

    You claimed that an interfaith marriage between a practising Muslim and a practising Jew 'simply won't work' because 'they have their faith and we have ours'. If such marriages were destined to fail due to incompatibility of the faiths, why would Allah permit them? (even if just for men)
    A religious Jewish man wouldn't become an alcoholic either, and if he's very orthodox, would take no issue with the hijab as it's a head covering. He also wouldn't consume pork. So is it then okay for a Muslim woman to marry a practising Jew?
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    (Original post by childofthesun)
    Debatable how?

    You claimed that an interfaith marriage between a practising Muslim and a practising Jew 'simply won't work' because 'they have their faith and we have ours'. If such marriages were destined to fail, why would Allah permit them? (even if just for men)
    A religious Jewish man wouldn't become an alcoholic either, and if he's very orthodox, would take no issue with the hijab as it's a head covering. He also wouldn't consume pork. So is it then okay for a Muslim woman to marry a practising Jew?
    I didn't say Allah permitted it. Some say it's haram, others say it's better not to. I don't think anyone encourages it tbh.

    Allah isn't going to be specific and say it's okay with Jews because it's the closest religion to Islam. He said non Muslims because it can cause an issue for women adhering to the faith. You will have those who have a successful interfaith marriage but they are not the majority.

    Also given your example Jews do believe it's the woman who carries the name so she needs to adhere to the Jewish rules like sabbath for instance or kosher instead of halal to name but a few
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    The reason I've put Pakistani Muslims because I believe no one really understands the backward nature of Pakistani culture unless you're in it

    Sorry in advance about the bad spelling/grammar, I'm not the best at writing.

    So I'm 25 years old, have a reputable well paid job, live on my own and I have a white boyfriend. We've been going out for a couple of years now, and I know we both ( if things continue to go really well) are thinking about marriage now.

    The biggest obstacle is my parents who are I own are going to be absolutely devastated- and I really cant stress this enough. To them to marry a BRITISH Pakistani is like - whoa ( if you want a decent a guy you'd marry from back home where you can be truly sure of the persons character). So never mind a white guy.

    My boyfriend - now I know you're going to be skeptical the following because you think I'm in love so can't see any bad, believe me I can but this guy, is 1 in a million. A kind, intelligent, 'good hearted' type of guy. I know I'm very lucky to have found someone like him, and the thought of letting him go is unbearable.


    I love my family I really do, and my parents are kind people but its been ingrained in them that family honour within the community is extremely
    important. And I know they love me as well, but I KNOW they would rather I married no one than a white guy. And that to me is unimaginable because all I've every wanted is a family of my own. I wouldnt be just losing my parents, but my relatives and religious Muslim friends as well

    I would like advice from other Asians who have seen or experienced themselves how it all pans out if the couple marry regardless of their parents view. Do the parents eventually come round ?

    Sorry this has been a bit of a rant.
    Basically I've met an amazing guy whom I want to marry but I don't want to lose family. What do I do....
    Hi, I'm really sorry you've been bombarded with many nonsensical comments, many of them from non-Muslims and Muslims who don't understand the issue.

    Firstly, race is not a problem in Islam. A Muslim woman can marry a Muslim man of any race or colour. If your parents don't want you to marry him because of an ethnic issue, that is wrong and you need to tell them that it is acceptable on the religion.

    However, it is forbidden in Islam for a Muslim woman to marry a non-Muslim man. The reason for this is that we are supposed to grow up our children in the religion and not in someone else's. I would recommend that you ask him whether he is ready to convert to Islam and then have the wedding after that. If he is not willing to convert to Islam, then unfortunately you will be better off finding someone else. But do not worry, it will happen inshallah

    I know you feel that this man is amazing and you don't want to let go, but if you marry him you are letting go of your religion, which is worse.
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    (Original post by Mathsmad123)
    Seriously?! Just because he's a different skin colour to muslims you say that?
    I don't think "skin colour" is the contention here...

    Ironically, it is yourself stereotyping Muslims in having a certain type of "skin colour" by your comment :

    "Just because he's a different skin colour to muslims"


    (Original post by Mathsmad123)
    Learn to have respect and dignity towards every person regardless of their skin colour, because people like you are sick people (i literally mean disgusting, like messed up in the head). We should treat everyone equally, everyone has a right to marry who they want because like this girl said, he has a good heart and thats all that matters.
    Looking at the context of the OP, it would seem that having a "good heart" clearly isn't all that matters.

    (Original post by Mathsmad123)
    Oh and btw just because she chooses to marry him, you are implying she doesn't value allah? Of course she does you sick minded child.
    It could imply many things

    She may not care about her afterlife, family, religion (and therefore by default, God)
    • #5
    #5

    (Original post by ~scorpio~)
    Allah knows best. It might work out for you which is great but generally when Allah says something, he does so to benefit us. Obviously there are some people who won't have problems but that doesn't rule out that The majority won't. For instance, imagine praying and the husband has alcohol bottles on the table. why bring it on yourself? A woman should seek a guy who brings her closer to Allah, not someone who totally doesn't acknowledge his existence.
    honey you have a lot to learn about long-term relationships if you think that the most important thing about them is what both parties believe will happen to them after they die. why are you being ridiculous and mentioning alcohol bottle on the table ? even most non-muslims don't drink alcohol that often or have alcoholic drinks strewn around the house on tables and believe it or not dear, there are many muslims who drink too you know.

    you know why i didnt expect my husband to convert for me ? because i love him and value his beliefs and identity and the thought of forcing him to become someone he doesnt want to be and using my love as blackmail makes me sick to the stomach. someone who would do that knows nothing of love
    • #5
    #5

    (Original post by ~scorpio~)
    Depends on the scholar you follow, that question is debatable.

    Men aren't affected as much as women
    proof pls

    Religious Muslim men don't drink for instance, so that doesn't harm a Non Muslim wife.
    erm sweetie, all muslims sin and many religious muslim i know, including members of my own family have drunk alcohol at one point or another.

    However if it was vice versa..a non Muslim husband may be an alcoholic
    again with your numbingly stupid stereotypes that non-muslims are alcoholics. honey, most non-muslims are perfectly functioning human beings who don't depend on alcohol 24/7

    and might refuse to stop drinking while the wife is praying,
    what your describing here is an abusive relationship full stop, nothing to do with the husband being non-muslim as you'll find just as many abusive relationships where both the husband and wife are of the same religion.

    men are physically stronger so the wife will feel trapped, what can she do? He might stop her from wearing the hijab.
    unlikely they would have ended up marrying if he didn't like or approve of her beliefs. its really offensive how your stereotyping non-muslims like this. my atheist husband has never stopped me practising islam and i have never met any non-muslim married to a muslim who does. keep your dumb generalisations to yourself.

    Whereas Muslim men won't be affected by a non Muslim wife as much as a Muslim woman. Muslim men are taught to follow the morals and values of Islam. We have role models like relationship between prophet Muhammed and khadija or imam Ali with Fatima.
    dont be ridiculous and stop living in cuckoo land. muslim men arent saints, they are human beings and just as many of them sin as non-muslims,
    • #5
    #5

    (Original post by ~scorpio~)

    The Quran doesn't condone wife beating in any shape or form. When cultures have been ruled with misogyny for generations and patriarchy is prevalent, a handful of men are bound to twist a few of verses to suit their interest. I believe all religions have peaceful message.
    yes it does`:

    quran 4:34
    Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allah would have them guard. But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance - [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand.


    its there in black and white
    • #5
    #5

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Clearly you haven't understood that quranic verse then. Let me explain:
    It is only as a last resort and only a light tap (like you do with friends and fam...like a tap on shoulder). In no way is the husband allowed to leave any sort of mark there...so no redness, no finger prints, no bruises. Everyone always mosunderstands this and say this 'condones beating'
    Just so you know, even though light tapping is allowed... the Prophet has never done this and has actually disuaded it. The way of the prophet is like a commentary for the quran.
    stop lying. im a muslim too but that doesnt mean i wont call out other muslims when i see them deliberately trying to deceive others. here is the verse from the quran

    Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allah would have them guard. But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance - [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand.





    as you can see, it says absolutely nothing about it being a light tap, but just mentions strike so youve been proven wrong.
    • #7
    #7

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    stop lying. im a muslim too but that doesnt mean i wont call out other muslims when i see them deliberately trying to deceive others. here is the verse from the quran

    Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allah would have them guard. But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance - [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand.





    as you can see, it says absolutely nothing about it being a light tap, but just mentions strike so youve been proven wrong.
    Do you study the commentaries in detail under authentic sources?
    Have you a strong understanding of the arabic words, language and their origins?
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    (Original post by mil88)
    I don't think "skin colour" is the contention here...

    Ironically, it is yourself stereotyping Muslims in having a certain type of "skin colour" by your comment :

    "Just because he's a different skin colour to muslims"




    Looking at the context of the OP, it would seem that having a "good heart" clearly isn't all that matters.



    It could imply many things

    She may not care about her afterlife, family, religion (and therefore by default, God)
    What i meant was that just because he is not muslim, sorry not skin colour. So instead of focusing on me, look at the bigger picture.
    And yes having a good heart is a value everyone should have. What i said was correct, because it revolved around respect and dignity. And the fact that you could dispute some things, shows your brainwashed mentality. Quite shocking really.
    In life, we need to be GOOD PEOPLE, and not have lack of respect for someone just because of religion. Understood?! we need to be GOOD PEOPLE, irrespective of our beliefs and values.
    What the other guy said "This comes down to whether you value Allah over him or not." That is not a sign of a good person. And I would seriously question his/her values.
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    Hey OP it seems like your thread is being seriously derailed.
    PM if you want to talk.
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    If a Muslim wife wants to practice her faith freely, the non Muslim husband may object to some things. He may also do thinks that are inappropriate islamically like expects the wife to bring pork or alcohol to the table. Why would it be unusual? If Allah makes rules he makes it clear for everyone. He does this to protect us.

    The benefits of marrying a Muslim and raising children in an Islamic environment is that when the parents pass away, you have them making dua for you which is a blessing Muslims have and a form of sadeaqa jariya.

    Btw the non Muslims I have come across do drink, not the type that get drunk off their face but they do socially, a Muslim shouldn't even come near alcohol.

    You seem to be surrounded by Muslims who are only Muslims by name, you need to get out more because there are good genuine Muslims out there.
 
 
 
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