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    are you stupid? this guy is obviously a paedo. attention seeker? i think so
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    (Original post by RightSaidJames)
    Good point. OP, have you talked to him on the phone, or at least with a microphone over MSN?
    Hes got webcam, but i dont have one so we cant talk face to face.
    He wanted to have a webcam conversation but didnt because I didnt have the cam.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hes got webcam, but i dont have one so we cant talk face to face.
    He wanted to have a webcam conversation but didnt because I didnt have the cam.
    Hmm, he could have put himself on webcam even if you didn't have one, you just type back what he says.
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    (Original post by Guy Secretan)
    How old are you and him anyway?

    I am 19 and hes 34
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    Hes send me his pictures as well, by email, and also text messaging.
    He did wanted to meet me in London first as I mentioned in my orginal thread that he said he will come down to meet me.

    And please do not think I will not take any of the advice given here, I wouldnt have put on the thread here if I wasnt going to listen to any of it.

    Again, thank you for all your advice, its highly appreciated.
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    (Original post by RightSaidJames)
    Hmm, he could have put himself on webcam even if you didn't have one, you just type back what he says.

    Ok, I didnt know that was possible to be honest, and this is why I didnt bother asking him about the cam and he forgot about it too.
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    Think hard about this - do any of these apply? I apologise if I sound rude, because clearly I don't know you so I am just guessing.

    I also apologise for using anon, but you'll see why.

    Have you ever had a boyfriend? Ever had any male interest? Feel left out? Lonely? Want to feel 'wanted'? Does it feel nice to have this interest from him, to the extent that it can blind you to some of your doubts? I can empathise with this - I have been there. It led to me getting into a "relationship" (it wasn't online, just a sorry excuse for one) with a poor excuse for a human being who anally raped me about a year down the line. Reason I mention this is because if you give an inch, they take a mile. If you meet him because you ALREADY feel guilty, for not wanting to hurt him (believe me, he won't be hurt), what more will you do, to keep him happy? To maintain the feelings he gives you of feeling wanted? Of having someone? Of not being alone? At what point WILL you stop? Because if you enter a relationship with that mindset, with a guy who obviously does want to take advantage of your naivety, you'll end up a doormat at best, cheated on, abused at worst.

    You need to learn to find happiness within yourself, to be happy alone. You don't need the attentions of men to feel that. No one does.

    Unfortunately, it took my little "lesson" to learn it, but maybe my experience can help you, if any of it rings true.

    I mean where do you honestly see this going? Me, personally, I realised I am a catch, maybe not the prettiest girl, or the thinnest girl, but that's ok. I found my confidence and found a wonderful boyfriend. I see that going somewhere. I see us in our place one day with kids running around, having a life together.

    Do you genuinely want to get involved with this 34 year old, in trouble with the police, slightly dodgy, wants to have sex ASAP guy, and seemingly talks to other girls this way from his history? Really? I mean, why WOULD you, if not out of lack of self esteem?

    Because you can do better - anyone can. Don't fall into it for the wrong reasons.

    And don't do it because you feel guilty. He's 34. He's old enough to take care of himself. He won't lose any sleep over you you know. He'll move onto someone else. Someone who will fall into it.
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    Ok, thank you for your concern, advice and sharing your story with me.
    But the thing is that he is very keen on a serious relationship, he wants to settle down with someone now, hes told me all about it.

    And sorry about the misunderstanding everyone had over my sentence, by 'straightaway'. What he actually said was that if I like him enough after seeing him in person, and he likes me too then would I sleep with him after we are as a 'couple'.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ok, thank you for your concern, advice and sharing your story with me.
    But the thing is that he is very keen on a serious relationship, he wants to settle down with someone now, hes told me all about it.
    But how do you know he's telling the truth? People are very good at keeping up the illusion of wanting to be serious to get what they want. Also, is that what you want? A serious relationship with a man much older than you, who has had previous relationship issues due to spending too much time on the internet and chatting with people just like yourself? Even if you did get into a relationship with him and things didn't go wrong, how do you know he won't stop talking to other young girls on the internet, perhaps arranging to meet with them?

    Another thing to think about is your family. Would they be supportive of your relationship? Would you be willing to go against their wishes and risk estranging yourself from them?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    But the thing is that he is very keen on a serious relationship, he wants to settle down with someone now, hes told me all about it.
    But do you? I note you didn't answer about having a relationship before etc - are you not planning to go to uni and stuff? (Most people here are).
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    But the thing is that he is very keen on a serious relationship, he wants to settle down with someone now, hes told me all about it.
    You do realise, that some men will say anything to get a women into bed, right?

    God you're naive.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ok, thank you for your concern, advice and sharing your story with me.
    But the thing is that he is very keen on a serious relationship, he wants to settle down with someone now, hes told me all about it.

    And sorry about the misunderstanding everyone had over my sentence, by 'straightaway'. What he actually said was that if I like him enough after seeing him in person, and he likes me too then would I sleep with him after we are as a 'couple'.
    So you're seriously saying that you're still considering meeting this guy when there are 5+ pages of intelligent people telling you that its a very bad idea?
    You're really not worthy of anymore advice given to you if you're going to stupidly ignore all of it.
    Can't believe some people....:mad:
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    Please please please watch this Panorama episode before you go.
    Panorama - One Click From Capture

    You'll argue its nothing like your situation, that you're older, that your guy isnt half as slimy - fine. BUT- what if? Theres always going to be a doubt, and for me personally when theres a doubt... its just not enough for me.

    If you met a guy in a club who asked you - "will you sleep with me right away if I take you home?" - you'd walk away, wouldnt you? Why should it be any different online.

    I've met ... probably about 50 people, maybe up to 100 people that I've made friends with online (I host my own forum) - and dated 4 of those. Each and every one of them was different to how I perceived them before. Even if it was down to a tiny thing like... I didnt realise his nose was so big... or... I didnt realise he was so tall... Or I didnt realise he was into extreme politics.... You are who you want to be online. You make your profiles, you make your identity, you tell people what you want them to know, you show them what you want them to see about you and you HIDE what you dont.

    What you dont know, is how much this guy is hiding. And that is a HUGE doubt for me.

    Please, be sensible, look after yourself and dont take unnecessary risks.
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    before i start ranting, please aknowledge that i am not against meeting people online, if youv seen some of my other posts u'll see that i, myself, met my boyfriend through online dating.

    ok that said........

    even i think its a bad idea!!!!!

    if ur going to play around online then there are certain things that you look out for, and im sorry but, from reading the OPs original post..... there all there!!!!!! age difference, wanting sex, staying in the same bed???? ....... seriously, wat block thinks ull go round there, watch a film, have a kiss and a cuddle, get into bed and then NOT have sex.....COME ON!!!!!

    and as for the "going to relieve himself somewhere else" noncence, well i dont think i need to coment!

    seriously, please..... any decent person off the internet wouldwant to meet in a public place and have a "propper" first date. in my oppinion he shouldnt even be mensioning sleeping together at this stage!

    i know ive repeated everything everyone else has already said, but its the truth.
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    Ok, so I haven't read the first part of this, I can't find it.

    But woaaah...are you really that naive? I mean, I'd be creeped out even meeting this guy in a PUBLIC place after the way he's talked to you, but to go to his flat? ALONE?

    Noooo way. I don't know any details about this, but if he lives near you, if you really want to see if he is who he says he is, get him to meet you outside a shop in town or something. Get a friend to go with you, and watch from a distance. If he looks dodgy, don't go over. If he doesn't turn up, he obviously just wanted you in his flat! But keep your friend with you and make sure you don't go over alone. And make sure it's in public.

    Personally, I'd keep away, I wouldn't even meet him.
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    (Original post by sophisticated)
    So you're seriously saying that you're still considering meeting this guy when there are 5+ pages of intelligent people telling you that its a very bad idea?
    You're really not worthy of anymore advice given to you if you're going to stupidly ignore all of it.
    Can't believe some people....:mad:

    Sorry but I think you have not read what I said properly, I wouldnt ask for advice if I wasnt going to take it.
    I have dicided not to meet him in his flat, so there.
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    (Original post by Tinkerbee)
    Age is irrelevant A weirdo is a weirdo whether they are young or old :rolleyes:

    why did you bother asking for advice when you clearly havent/wont listen to any of it?
    I have listened to all advice and dicided not to see him at his flat. Hope you read this.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    But do you? I note you didn't answer about having a relationship before etc - are you not planning to go to uni and stuff? (Most people here are).
    Yes, I am planning to go to uni and I have told him about it, he was fine with it and interested to a extent.
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    Meet him and let him use you? no serious I wouldn't meet this creep at all.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have listened to all advice and dicided not to see him at his flat. Hope you read this.
    Thats good
 
 
 
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