Depression Society MkII Watch

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bansheeee*
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#101
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#101
(Original post by xemilyx)
Imagine having a dream every night for about a month. The same one. It's so distressing you can't bring yourself to go to sleep at night. You panic before you go to bed and you find yourself in the dream again unable to wake yourself up. You became convinced it's real. You then get hunted down and shot in the head in the same place everytime, you don't die straight away, but when you do go to heaven or die, you get rejected by the one person you care most about. That for the past 5 years you've been scared that they hate you and are disappointed in you. It hurts. And it happens every night.

You tell me that dreams don't matter. Because my god, that dream is as real as any day of my life and it scares me to no wits end. You tell me dreams don't matter when you.re so sleep deprived you start loosing another part of you that you thought was still there.
yea but at the end of the day they don't mean anything ,they're not real-not a sign of anything ,so why worry and get distressed when you have them(obviously bad dreams are unpleasnt) but they are really just insignificant,the more you get distressed over them the worse they will get..
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xemilyx
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#102
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#102
(Original post by bansheeee*)
yea but at the end of the day they don't mean anything ,they're not real-not a sign of anything ,so why worry and get distressed when you have them(obviously bad dreams are unpleasnt) but they are really just insignificant,the more you get distressed over them the worse they will get..
Easier said than done! You really don't seem to want to understand anyone here! That's all i'm going to say. Typed a really long response but can't be bothered. I've seen what others have said to you and it's like talking to a brick wall.
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bansheeee*
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#103
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#103
I do understand it..i ahve gone through it myself you know.
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xemilyx
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#104
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#104
But your answer to everything seems to be snap out of it or be.littling stuff that majorely affects people.
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bansheeee*
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#105
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#105
I was just telling of what helped for me ,becuase all the talking about it isn't going to help ANYHTING . ^_+
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raspberrybubbles
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#106
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#106
I don't know how I feel. Kind of numb, I felt bad before, but now I feel nothing. :|

Banshee, I have to agree with emily I'm afraid: talking about it does help us, and we can't snap out of it like that. However hard I try, however much CBT I do, it always comes back so telling us it means nothing when it's screwing up our lives really isn't helpful. Sorry.
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becki08
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#107
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#107
Talking about things helps me.
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xemilyx
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#108
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#108
(Original post by bansheeee*)
I was just telling of what helped for me ,becuase all the talking about it isn't going to help ANYHTING . ^_+
I'm really sorry but talking helps a hell of a lot to people! My god. I don't know what experience you've had but talking makes people feel less alone. I know it helps me because sometimes typing the thoughts or talking then out aloud helps you try to make sense of stuff. It also allows you to see that you're not alone in the way you feel.
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xemilyx
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#109
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#109
ugs: for becki and raspberry.
Hope you're both alright. Raspberry, hun, yesterdays events are going to take a while to sink in but we're all here for you x
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becki08
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#110
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#110
:hugs: for raspberry. It's going to take a while to get used to hun :hugs: Here if you want to talk.

How are you today emily? :hugs:
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starchild
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#111
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#111
Strangely feeling good today its nice. i guess i may change later, but its a nice feeling. Not happy but mellow, a bit emotionless but more mellow... if that makes sense.

I think that i may get worse since the anniversary is coming up and also i think suburban life is very scaryily weird. But, David has got hold of his landlord and we may be moving into his house sometime soon. We are going to see him tomorrow, so hopefully we can be in there by the end of this week. I went around to find my house today with David, and i couldnt remember what road it was on or what it looked like, strange considering i really like that house and im going to be living there.

Anyway love and hugs :hugs: siti xxx
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becki08
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#112
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#112
I'm glad you're feeling good today siti I hope it stays that way! :hugs:
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raspberrybubbles
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#113
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#113
(Original post by starchild)
Strangely feeling good today its nice. i guess i may change later, but its a nice feeling. Not happy but mellow, a bit emotionless but more mellow... if that makes sense.

I think that i may get worse since the anniversary is coming up and also i think suburban life is very scaryily weird. But, David has got hold of his landlord and we may be moving into his house sometime soon. We are going to see him tomorrow, so hopefully we can be in there by the end of this week. I went around to find my house today with David, and i couldnt remember what road it was on or what it looked like, strange considering i really like that house and im going to be living there.

Anyway love and hugs :hugs: siti xxx
I'm glad you're feeling good Sitara, I too hope it lasts :hugs:

We're all here for you, so don't worry! I've only ever lived in suburbia, what's the difference? And I hope you can find your house, do you have an address slip for it somewhere?
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xemilyx
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#114
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#114
So pleased things seem to be okay siti :hugs:

I'm drained becky and annoyed at royal mail because a package i was expecting before 1 still hasn't arrived. Mega annoyed because it's from my mum and it's really important.
Didn't sleep well so might try to get some sleep today. Who knows. Feeling a bit... I don't know. Think i might start keeping my diary again.
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raspberrybubbles
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#115
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#115
(Original post by xemilyx)
So pleased things seem to be okay siti :hugs:

I'm drained becky and annoyed at royal mail because a package i was expecting before 1 still hasn't arrived. Mega annoyed because it's from my mum and it's really important.
Didn't sleep well so might try to get some sleep today. Who knows. Feeling a bit... I don't know. Think i might start keeping my diary again.
I'm having problems with royal mail too, letters for me aren't arriving So I'm going to give them a bell on monday because it's getting beyond a joke.

Right, I need to do something useful with my day now. Don't feel like it but I should do something. Hmm
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*pink_sapphires*
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#116
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#116
Hi everyone.

Sorry about falling asleep last night Emily Hope I managed to keep you company for part of the night though, even if it wasn't until very late! :hugs:

Becki...How are you today hun? :hugs:

Raspberry...hope you're feeling ok today. Remember...it's ok to grieve :hugs:

Siti...glad you're happy hun! You deserve it! :hugs:

Laus...hope you're ok...will read through some of your longer posts later hun :hugs:

Saber...have the meds started to work yet? Stay strong. We're all behind you :hugs:

I've had a bad morning. Arguments galore. Feel weird. My hair looks disgusting but can't be bothered to wash it. Will leave it til tonight. GOT to tidy my room today. It was looking so much better but then my sister trashed all my stuff and I've not got round to starting again as I've been hurt and demoralised. All my hard work, destroyed in seconds
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xemilyx
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#117
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#117
Just been sick. Dad just had a bit of ago at me. Told me how ill mum is and i feel responsible for adding my stress onto her. I hate my life. Landlord called about my rent. He probably hasn't received it. Great. Another person wanting money. I actually can't live much longer. I'm in constant fear.
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*pink_sapphires*
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#118
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#118
(Original post by xemilyx)
Just been sick. Dad just had a bit of ago at me. Told me how ill mum is and i feel responsible for adding my stress onto her. I hate my life. Landlord called about my rent. He probably hasn't received it. Great. Another person wanting money. I actually can't live much longer. I'm in constant fear.
:hugs:

Ignore your Dad. Your Mum is there to support you and even though she may be worried, I'm sure she'd much rather know what's going on and be able to try and help you. I highly doubt she'd blame you for her being ill.

Don't worry about the rent. I'm sure it'll sort itself out :hugs: xx
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xemilyx
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#119
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#119
Landlord just been around. Hasn't gone out. Had to lie. What the hell am i going to do? For **** sake. May as well die. Owe too many people money. Not worth this. I'm worthless.
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raspberrybubbles
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#120
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#120
Emily, you aren't worthless at all. Don't listen to your dad, it isn't fair to also burden you like that, I know it's a difficult time for both of you, but it will work itself out Like Liz said, she wants to help you, and not telling her anything will result in it all going wrong for worse later on. Is there no-one you can borrow money from for the rent?
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